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(Originally posted on: 05-02-07 05:36:12 PM)
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I'm sure this has happened to us at least once. Walking by someone you get a brief snippet of their conversation that makes absolutely no sense to you. So you end up obsessing over it for the rest of the day, ala Lewis Black and his hilarious "If it weren't for my horse..." This is thread in which you share those brief yet strange/funny/weird/creepy/communist conversation snippets that you overhead at/on/in the mall/school/pool/park/bus/masonic lodge/jail.

Today I rode past a woman and her young daughter on my bike and I only managed to catch this part of their conversation:
Girl(Smiling): I think I'm going to be creepy
Mother(Reprimanding): No, you're not going to be creepy, stop it.

I continued to obsess about that all the way to the library. And I still am obsessing about it. How was she going to be creepy? Was she going to stare at people with empty, vacant eyes? And why was she going to be creepy? And why didn't her mother want her to be creepy? I AM GOING INSANE WITH THE UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS IN MY MIND.
"...The LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." -- Judges 1:19
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Reply 1 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 05:43:00 PM)
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Man: Dude, I would have totally done it. You know why? Because I am that fucking crazy!

(Pause...)

Dude: Did you know that minorities in this country have more rights than you or me?
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Reply 2 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 05:45:05 PM)
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Clearly she was jokingly saying she's going to be creepy when she grows up, as a way to get a little attention and reassurance, and the mother was replying with an automatic standard parent answer, which is exactly what the daughter expected to get.

Probably.

Quote:
Man: Dude, I would have totally done it. You know why? Because I am that fucking crazy!

(Pause...)

Dude: Did you know that minorities in this country have more rights than you or me?

The conversations you have with yourself don't count.
DRAHNIER
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Reply 3 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 07:03:29 PM)
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Someone said to me once

"In my experience, most gay people tend to drive Subaru's" And he was dead serious.

My brain exploded.
You make me sick
Because I adore you so.
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Reply 4 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 07:17:11 PM)
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Obviously he was correct since he was gay

Why did your brian explode?
greenidentity
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Reply 5 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 08:16:45 PM)
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Because he was serious, he wasn't trying to be funny at all. And he is very much not gay.

How anyone can generalize that much is beyond me.
You make me sick
Because I adore you so.
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Reply 6 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 08:22:26 PM)
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Quote:
How anyone can generalize that much is beyond me


He said "in his experience"

Obviously, if he has experience with homosexuality, he must himself be one.

Call it a Freudian slip.

Quote:
And he is very much not gay


In general, the more people attempt to set up smoke screens the more they are attempting to hide their own white...er, purple elephant.
Hasty Penguin
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Reply 7 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 08:35:15 PM)
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Working at a Tim Horton's, I hear a fair amount of odd conversation snippets, especially on the cleaning shift. While most brain hurting conversations are odd requests from customers or complaints from people behind the counter (god, the whining), there are a few that just sort of get overheard:

"Well, I think we're being nicer than we usually are."

"... And she would have died if that baby wasn't coming out of her."

"Getting her hair done? I own a red car!"

"My ponytail represents my unemployment." (this one is more strange, because this guy spends 12 dollars or more a day at this place)

"I'm bleeding? Should I get something for that?" (this man had a small wound on his head that was leaking a small stream of blood down his lumpy forehead)

"Bun me, bun me, bun me, bun me, bun me CROWBAR!" (this one was a kid, so for some reason it made sense that he would say that out of frustration - I used to say "oh, daughter daughter lightbulb!" so I don't know)


EDIT: shut up the both of you, the thread isn't about your gay friend or his experiences, whether they were gay experiences as well or not or whatever the hell goddamn biscuits shut up
"One time I spilled ice cream on my pants and we had to throw them out."
"Last night I fell asleep, and when I woke up, my room was a black and white movie."

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This reply was last edited on 05-02-07 08:42:14 PM by Hasty Penguin.
greenidentity
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Reply 8 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 08:35:44 PM)
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He's defenitely not gay, and not even close to the closeted type.

His experience means the things he's seen. His experience with and being around gay people is obviously very fucking limited.
You make me sick
Because I adore you so.
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Reply 9 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 08:58:19 PM)
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"Would you rather be beaten to death with tiny meat tenderizers or eat cotton balls until you died?"
animatedcardigan: i thought cunterhosen was you getting a brain tumour in a bad place
Apprenticed under Kage-STFU the art of bujutsu
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poop
$$~~~Crips~~~$$
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Reply 10 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 09:00:12 PM)
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cotton balls, for sure. The lack of sharp edges makes it ideal.
<EscalatorToHell> Plus Greg is on a list of people I'd willingly have sex with.
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I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Reply 11 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 09:18:31 PM)
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Every Monday and Wednesday my roommate and I pass this group of guys on our way to Astronomy, and they always pull out the most random stuff when they walk by us. From them I bring forth this gem:
Quote:
It was as dark as a raccoon's asshole

i am raising my eyebrow


Baggy Brad: Amphytrite if you come to my house I will stare at you until you orgasm as your prize
greenidentity
Disco naps and liquorice Snaps.

It is time for some fine fine wine.....or box wine it's all good man

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Reply 12 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 09:18:54 PM)
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Quoted from Zippo:
"Would you rather be beaten to death with tiny meat tenderizers or eat cotton balls until you died?"


Do i get water?
You make me sick
Because I adore you so.
Sunn O)))
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Reply 13 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-02-07 09:40:47 PM)
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Quote:
"... 'the collection' as he called it contained a substantial amount of asian, caucasian and african penises; among them, his favorite specimen of Ethiopian origin..."
just_dandy
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Unapologetic apostate approaching her apotheosis, how apropos

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Reply 14 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-04-07 09:37:09 AM)
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A few years ago, I was at the library, studying with some friends. A man in his 30s came in, and started arguing with the librarian, but they were trying to keep it quiet. They were getting louder and louder, and the librarian's patience was wearing thin. Eventually though, the man lost his cool completely and shouted "Don't you know I'm Irish?!?!" before storming out.


Similarly, there's a boy in my school who I'm pretty sure is crazy. If you look at him wrong, or even listen to him talking to himself, it's usually along the lines of "Do you question my Scottish heritage?!"

He's yelled it at me before. MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS
Koalas have sharp claws but they are weak. They all small and fat and they be climing trees. I hope a storm just come while theyjust chilling up in the tree thinking they is hard and they're will all just fall off. They just break they neck and shit. When they fall they claws are going to fall off and they going to be crying like some little bitches.
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 15 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-04-07 09:41:59 AM)
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Most of the conversations I overhear that strike me as amusing are from the Greek life around here, specifically drunk sorority girls at football games, who will talk bad about people, talk about how cool they are, talk about having sex, talk about drinking more so they can't feel their hangover until later, etc. The stereotypical stuff.
Adopt a leggo my eggo ifo.
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Reply 16 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-04-07 12:05:41 PM)
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A while ago I overheard this conversation, I posted it at OD and everything:

Two girls in hoodies and a bearded metalhead. Around 20 years old, I figure.

"Hey, I'm reading Dracula"
(shocked) "Haven't you seen the movie?!?"
---
"Dracula's from Pennsylvania... Uh, Transylvania I mean"
---
"You know where Frankenstein comes from?"
"The robot?" (sic)
"No, I mean the doctor. I think he was Russian, the name sounds Russian anyway. He was called like me, only with a K, Viktor. That's why I think he was Russian"
"Viktor? That sounds horrible! It's so rough!"1
"You're right. Russians are so rough"
"Like the Germans"

1Of course she doesn't realize /'biktor/ is the proper pronounciation in standard Spanish, even though our Madrid dialect makes that /'biθtor/
đonne onwŠcne­ eft wineleas guma, gesih­ him biforan fealwe wegas, ba■ian brimfuglas, brŠdan fe■ra, hreosan hrim ond snaw hagle gemenged. Ůonne beo­ ■y hefigran heortan benne, sare Šfter swŠsne. Sorg bi­ geniwad ■onne maga gemynd mod geondhweorfe­, grete­ gliwstafum, georne geondsceawa­ secga geseldan; swimma­ oft on weg. Fleotendra fer­ no ■Šr fela bringe­ cu­ra cwidegiedda.
The Wanderer, l. 45-55a
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Reply 17 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-04-07 07:36:08 PM)
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Quoted from Random Friend:
Dude, don't you wish that semen tasted like the center of an Oreo?"
And he was completely serious.
No one dies a virgin life screws us all.
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Reply 18 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-04-07 07:50:53 PM)
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Quoted from Nazgul4591:
Quoted from Random Friend:
Dude, don't you wish that semen tasted like the center of an Oreo?"
And he was completely serious.

Yes!
Ztolk
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Rawr.

definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 19 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-04-07 08:30:30 PM)
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Sukkit, what sound does that theta make?
"I used the internet to get laid once. That is not a shining moment of pride for me. The worst thing? She evidently gave me chlamydia, which I evidently got cleared up."
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Reply 20 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-04-07 10:04:36 PM)
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This one's been wrecking my brain for almost seventeen years...I was in summer school after kindergarten, and there was some kind of discussion going on in the class, all I remember is a girl telling the teacher that "if a bird has to poop and it can't, if you touch it, it will explode" and then I heard "pink caca". I wanted to ask the teacher if she could repeat it, it blew my mind, and it had to be me hearing it wrong, but I didn't and I'll never know.
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Reply 21 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-05-07 01:50:45 AM)
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Quoted from Ztolk:
Sukkit, what sound does that theta make?

Th as in think.
đonne onwŠcne­ eft wineleas guma, gesih­ him biforan fealwe wegas, ba■ian brimfuglas, brŠdan fe■ra, hreosan hrim ond snaw hagle gemenged. Ůonne beo­ ■y hefigran heortan benne, sare Šfter swŠsne. Sorg bi­ geniwad ■onne maga gemynd mod geondhweorfe­, grete­ gliwstafum, georne geondsceawa­ secga geseldan; swimma­ oft on weg. Fleotendra fer­ no ■Šr fela bringe­ cu­ra cwidegiedda.
The Wanderer, l. 45-55a
Ztolk
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Rawr.

definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 22 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-05-07 05:39:42 AM)
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Oh. I just assumed nobody would say Bithtor so I thought it was some crazy pronunciation tool like the schwa.

The world is so crazy.
"I used the internet to get laid once. That is not a shining moment of pride for me. The worst thing? She evidently gave me chlamydia, which I evidently got cleared up."
-Wandering Idiot
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Reply 23 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-05-07 09:26:57 AM)
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Sukkit, I assure you, not all metalheads are that fucking dumb.
SUL
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B White
D
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i didn't have the strength to get it all the way off

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Reply 24 of 27 (Originally posted on: 05-06-07 01:28:19 PM)
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Quoted from Sukkit:

1Of course she doesn't realize /'biktor/ is the proper pronounciation in standard Spanish, even though our Madrid dialect makes that /'biθtor/

So your Madrid dialect makes you speak with a lisp?
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