Damn you, history channel!! (Conspiracy Theories)



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Wandering Idiot
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Surely something dumber has come up since my apparent forgetfulness for STDs and doctor visits.

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How about a thread that's not about Adam and his indulgences of attention, and the FA ass-rape jokes (though they are funny).

I was just sitting here theorizing, because of the history channel, which is running a special about the Waco, Texas Branch Davidian thing, and it got my stoner hypothesis machine in gear.

What does the bible say about the end times and the return of whats' his name? What if Koresh was an incarnation of christ, and he's picking out his 144,000 and converting them catholics and then killing them off and taking them to their promise land while the apocalypse sets in? Oh, and for some odd reason the government is under the control of the devil.

Now, obviously I don't believe a bit of this or in religion in general, and this is just a wild-ass idea that could spark a conspiracy theory with enough hype. So, I guess the point of the thread is to conjure up a way to conspiracy anything up. Prove your strangest theories in this thread, and we'll leave common sense at the door.

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-Dave Barry

Sixten Sparre
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wears neckerchiefs

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lay of the weed

Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, and Sassy.

Squareknight
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XX_mira_fan_Xx

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I support the full and total censorship of any conspiracy theory. If only to prevent the terminally stupid conspiracy moonbats from getting the attention they crave.

Wandering Idiot
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Quoted from Squareknight:
I support the full and total censorship of any conspiracy theory. If only to prevent the terminally stupid conspiracy moonbats from getting the attention they crave.

I support the exact opposite view and will argue it pointlessly to the death.

/vissario

What I mean is, some of the conspiracy crackpots are rather entertaining when you think about it. Seriously, someone out there believes that Lincoln was shot by an alien and John Wilkes Booth was part of a cover-up to keep the people from finding out the dirty, dirty truth.

Quoted from Surt:
lay of the weed

No.

artzilla
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This should open the can of worms...
The menace of global terrorism has been labeled the greatest threat to western civilization since communism and yet swimming pools, peanuts and lost deer kill more Americans every single year.

The number of Americans killed as a result of international terrorism since the 1960's gives us a benchmark from which we can correctly identify and target other dire dangers to our very way of life.

- Allergic reactions to peanuts

- Accident causing deer

- Lightning strikes

That's correct - all of the above have killed an equal number of Americans since 1960 as terrorism. One could even categorize M&M's, lost deer and the weather as an "axis of evil arming to threaten the peace of the world.
:shrink:

drahnier
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I would say the potential harm global terrorism might do at any point in the near future is quite a lot bigger than that of M&Ms.

Thus calling it a big threat is a bit more justified.

DRAHNIER

Wandering Idiot
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/\/\/\ Potential doesn't mean inevitable. It's fear of terrorism that makes it a greater threat, as not everyone is allergic to peanuts, lives far enough in the country to hit deer, or close enough to the wild to be attacked by M&M eating deer with suicide vests on.

See, that's not a conspiracy theory, that's fact (as long as there are credible sources), but definitely interesting.

Dante

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I was watching that Waco thing last night.

They had quite a bit of flame graphics!

KaosDeath
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literally believes that communism works

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I like conspiracy theories...They're fun to make up.

conspiracy theory #1. The Return of Christ...Superman Returns - Jor-el:"I give to them, you, My only son."

conspiracy theory #2. The anti-Christ will be a military leader...is that not any leader of a country? Bush, Hussein, Castro. Oh NO!! The anti-Christ is not a single entity!

Mr Excitable
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I highly doubt God would manifest in Texas. Plus That theory about koresh is schlock. If he is God why did he need 6000 rounds of ammo

edit - freemasons run the country

artzilla
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antichrist

Actually, antichrist is merely an idea. Anything that is to some degree against the idea of Christ. At this juncture I would have to state that WI is antichrist, as well as Kaosdeath, No offense intended... You see it's really all in the mind. Conspiracies can neither be proven nor disproven, which gives rise to the psychiatric diagnosis of schizophrenia. Schizophrenics have many ideas in their heads that would be termed conspiracy theories, which again can neither be proven nor disproven. Conspiracy theories are just ideas.

drahnier
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Quote:
edit - freemasons run the country

There's probably a lot of truth in that.

Well them and other similar societies of rich old men.

DRAHNIER

Pertti Susilainen
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That's scary. I hope the rich old men who rule the world from the shadows are not really affiliated syndicate members.

Ðonne onwæcneð eft wineleas guma, gesihð him biforan fealwe wegas, baþian brimfuglas, brædan feþra, hreosan hrim ond snaw hagle gemenged. Þonne beoð þy hefigran heortan benne, sare æfter swæsne. Sorg bið geniwad þonne maga gemynd mod geondhweorfeð, greteð gliwstafum, georne geondsceawað secga geseldan; swimmað oft on weg. Fleotendra ferð no þær fela bringeð cuðra cwidegiedda.
The Wanderer, l. 45-55a

Ztolk
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Rawr.

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I was reading a book where the author said that Muslims were immigrating to Europe and then breeding really fast to overtake the Europeans.

Then I stopped reading because the author was too much of an asshole.

"I used the internet to get laid once. That is not a shining moment of pride for me. The worst thing? She evidently gave me chlamydia, which I evidently got cleared up."
-Wandering Idiot

artzilla
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Quoted from anaemic_royalty:
Quote:
edit - freemasons run the country

There's probably a lot of truth in that.

Well them and other similar societies of rich old men.

Not too far off

http://www.healthfreedom.info/creature_from_jekyll_island.htm

Squareknight
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XX_mira_fan_Xx

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Quoted from Ztolk:
I was reading a book where the author said that Muslims were immigrating to Europe and then breeding really fast to overtake the Europeans.

Then I stopped reading because the author was too much of an asshole.

With some European countries like Russia and Germany, the natives have stopped having children at a replacement level.
You cant really blame the immigrants for increasing in number, because they can have fairly modest families and still be 'outbreeding' the average German/Russian.

Germany just this week started some new programs to try and encourage people to have children.

Alloy
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Russia will never recover its population. The last century has been nothing but famine, war, shortage, famine, war, famine, more shortage, deficit and more deficit (but BETTER because now it's CAPITALIST).

The current century looks like it'll be the same.

SUL
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B White

drahnier
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Which century wasn't like that?

Besides, the shittiest nations tend to have the biggest populations.
When you live in a shithole you need more children.

Also there's nothing else positive to focus on than building a family, but i suppose maybe the russians focus more on getting drunk than other shitty nations do.

DRAHNIER

This reply was last edited on 01-05-07 11:52:11 PM by drahnier.

flaming arrow
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old time judge suck cock

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Quoted from anaemic_royalty:
Quote:
edit - freemasons run the country

There's probably a lot of truth in that.

Well them and other similar societies of rich old men.

And they build big creepy airports from where they plan to create the new world order!!

http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Denver_Airport.html

Alloy
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Androgynous Mystic Wizard

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Seriously, what's up with the mural in Denver Airport?

Conspiracy my ass but it's still very creepy.

SUL
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B White

Snowy
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i always try to make a statement with my fashion...thats why today i wore a crop top with a pic of richard nixon captioned: growl at sweat

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the swastika is a design that held architectural/design/spiritual value for thousands of years before the nazis. the motive behind such a meanginful design is the harkening of power to the site, positive influence, good karma rather than a celebration of nazism.

Useless little atoms are burning all the bridges

artzilla
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Here's one for ya. A swastika shaped building at the Coronado Naval Base.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/silvery/143053448/

D
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i didn't have the strength to get it all the way off

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Its a great design and a good shape. Damn Nazi's ruined it forever. Or for a long time, atleast.

"They could have grown up to become Hitler....collectively." - Ztolk's creepy Flash man

flaming arrow
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Quoted from artzilla:
Here's one for ya. A swastika shaped building at the Coronado Naval Base.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/silvery/143053448/

Which was built prior to WWII.

Dante

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The swastika symbolically represented the sun (and many other positive things) for thousands of years. It only represented the Nazis for about 10. It's not fair.

In fact, Hitler only picked it because of these age-old positive connotations.

I was walking through the stores in NYC's Chinatown last week, and I noticed that many of the good-luck pendants for sale were covered with swastikas. THOSE DAMN NAZI CHINKS learn u some stuff ok??

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