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ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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(Originally posted on: 06-27-06 04:55:21 PM)
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Im not even sure where to start. I guess this started about two months ago when I started hooking up with this girl back near the end of last semester at VCU. Now Ive known her since the first semester of last year and weve hung out before, but really only as acquaintances, her name was Mercedes.
Now, two months ago we had this drunken (and high) one-time hook-up; we were out on the benches outside our dorm with all our friends drinking beer out of water bottles and smoking pot and sesha out of a couple hookahs. It all starts when we start feeling each other up while sitting at the picnic table at like midnight, and ends at about 6am in my dorm room getting to about 3rd base and then passing out.

Now, my last girlfriend had cheated on me around the end of sophomore year of high school, around the summer, and it just destroyed me. So much so, that I havent had a serious relationship until two months ago. Mercedes at the time had a boyfriend who was a psycho-nut and his year-long relationship with her was pretty much over, so I didnt really feel guilty for hooking up with her when I did.

So she and I dont talk the next day, but we both hang out with our mutual friends and its just awkward the whole time, so I just figure its done, which was fine. But the day after, we go see a movie together, Thank You for Smoking, and end up having a repeat of the first night, sans the substance abuse. Night number three, we actually have sex, I hardly even remember it now, but if I recall, it was good. So after that, we decide were secretly dating, we didnt really want all our friends to know about it to avoid weirdness while hanging out with them; now of course they already knew about it, and would humor us by pretending not to know, but whatever.

So around the time of final exams, early May, she heads back up to northern VA where we both happen to live to officially end it with her psycho boyfriend, Aaron. I have a shitty-ass weekend wondering if she actually broke up with him or if they rekindled their relationship. She calls me up early Monday morning saying shes coming back down just to see me (she had no more exams and I had like 2 left) because she ended it with him and wanted to be with me again. That was pretty much the start of this incredible summer Ive been having; we did fucking everything together, went to parties, played video games, target shooting, and of course all the sex. She was, and pretty still is completely unique compared to all the other girls Ive ever met; shes this pretty fuckin hot red-head (which Im into) who keep up with me drinking all night, play nerdy video games with for hours and hours, and have wild, raunchy sex with all the time. And thats the story of my last two months up until the day before yesterday, which mark the day wed been dating for two months exactly.
We have this great night at her dads house while dad and step-mom were out for the weekend. We watched some movies and shared a bottle of wine while it poured raining outside. The next morning, about right before noon, she gets this call, goes to the window, and freaks the fuck out yelling for me to come upstairs and shit; apparently her psycho ex-boyfriend, Aaron is outside, saw my car, and wanted to kick my ass. So she wants to call the police and is hysterical which is really worrying me because she really seems afraid that one of us is going to end up dead in her house with her parents coming home in just a few hours. While were deciding what to do, Aaron breaks into her house through a window and comes upstairs, she makes me swear I wont come out of her room while she goes and talks to him. So I hear shit breaking downstairs and Im looking for a large blunt weapon when I hear him yell,
Why the fuck is your ex-boyfriend here?!
And Im like, what? Ex-boyfriend? So I come downstairs bearing no weapons saying that I just want to talk to him, he calms down and says fine, lets talk, as soon as he become civil and diplomatic, she bolts out the door to her friends house 2 doors down. We and I have a chat and the whole truth comes out:

Apparently, she never broke up with him in exam-week of May, she actually made up with him and fucked him that day, then came back to VCU to end it with me, according to him, and then kept it going with me; so for the last two fucking months, shes been fucking and dating both of us at once while telling the other she was at her parents house or something while with the other. He and I ended up bonding over hating her at her house over a bottle of wine, then a bottle of brandy, then a bottle of scotch. We found out all kinds of insane shit about her web of lies, like how she would send one of us a personal text message and then change the recipient and send the same message to the other. Theres a lot of small shit like that that she did, but she would also call us by the same pet-names and have us do the same raunchy things to her while she would tell us both that were the only person shed let do to her. Web of fucking lies!
So her parents come home and were drunk a there house and they kick us out; so for the past 2 days now, Aaron, who actually isnt psycho at all and is a pretty fucking rad guy and I have just been partying non-stop and trying to get over her.

She and him seem pretty much done, since this is actually the second time shes done this to him; and as for her and I, we had angry break-up sex last night, seriously angry, dominating (on my part), sex in which I did a lot of dirty, dirty shit to her that I dont think I could do to someone without this whole past two months happening.

So yeah, this is the first time Ive been sober in two days, and I thought Id let INTL know about my life and why I havent been here for two months.

I couldn't really decide if this belonged in BB or TEZ or here in ID, so feel free to move it wherever, mods.
_____________________________________________________

tl;dr version: girls suck.
~British[/whisper] Agent
[whisper].___.
{O,o} O RLY?
/)__)
-"-"-
Links: Penny Arcade, YTMND, Something Awful.

This reply was last edited on 06-27-06 05:10:48 PM by ba.
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 1 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 04:57:50 PM)
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I wouldn't normally post a pic of someone without their discresion, but I don't fucking care what she would think, and I already have one uploaded:

The culprit:
http://uploaded.interestingnonetheless.net/British%20Agent/mercedes.jpg
~British[/whisper] Agent
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Alyantis
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Reply 2 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 05:15:21 PM)
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I'm sorry you got fooled by the girl, but damn, I think that's pretty funny/cool with you and Aaron. I personally would try to just emotionally detach yourself from this girl, she seems like a train wreck.
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It all became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision Ive ever made in my entire life has been wrong.

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Reply 3 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 05:16:22 PM)
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Your first mistake was to trust a girl named Mercedes but she looks pretty hot and you had fun so it's all good.
Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.





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Reply 4 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 05:25:42 PM)
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I love how Mercedes looks anxious about you figuring everything out in that picture.

Interesting thing about Aaron. I thought that stuff only happened in B-movies.
"Hwt, he on a tid e he inne bi, ne bi hrinen mid y storme s wintres; ac t bi an eagan bryhtm and t lste fc, ac he sona of wintre on one winter eft cyme hwt r foregange, oe hwt r fylige, we ne cunnen."
"Lo, he, in the time that he is inside, is not touched by the storm of the winter, but that is an eye's winking and the least time, but he straightway comes back from winter into winter, what thereto may precede or what to it may follow, we do not know."
Dante

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Reply 5 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 05:41:23 PM)
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The drinking-with-Aaron thing is funny as hell.

And she looks like the type to do this shit, judging from the pic.

Don't get back together with her. Move on, find a new woman.
Work-work-work. Gnaw-gnaw-gnaw. Build-build-build. Must hurry
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 6 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 05:45:12 PM)
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Yeah, everyone he and I have drunkenly told in the past two days think it's funny as hell that we're hanging out now.

In fact, we worked a way of telling the story where he tells it leaving me out and just calling my 'character' the asshole ex-boyfriend, and then I introduce myself at the end.
~British[/whisper] Agent
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{O,o} O RLY?
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Scruffy - The Janitor
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While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing Piggy.

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Reply 7 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 05:49:32 PM)
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Girls like that exist purely for entertainment. Both for themselves and for others. Yeah, she's a deceptive bitch. Yeah, she used the hell out of both of you. But you had a blast, didn't you? Violent break-up sex is a great indicator of that. Were I in your shoes, I'd keep fucking around with this girl, have your good times, but realize she's probably off doing the same thing with other guys when you're not together. She used you, now use her. I seriously doubt she'll mind.

EDIT:
Quote:
The culprit:
http://uploaded.interestingnonetheless.net/British%20Agent/mercedes.jpg
Token "I'd hit it" remark.

Reminds me of my first girlfriend, whore-ity and all.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 8 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 05:52:33 PM)
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Quote:
I'd keep fucking around with this girl


Funny you say that, she's coming by again tonight.
~British[/whisper] Agent
[whisper].___.
{O,o} O RLY?
/)__)
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Links: Penny Arcade, YTMND, Something Awful.
Sunn O)))
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Reply 9 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 06:12:07 PM)
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What more to say except that I've summed it um in AIM.

As I've told you, I don't find her attractive, though for a casual fuck she would be nice. I'm glad you found out sooner than later.

there, I posted in your thread
Menion
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Reply 10 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 06:37:29 PM)
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Ehheh... I don't have enough constructive input to really make a good contribution here, but what I can offer is this:

She looks like trouble...

At least you had some fun...

The story is hilarious becuase of the way it ended up with Aaron...

And I hope you have better luck in the future.

EDIT:
Quoted from British Agent:
... we had angry break-up sex last night, seriously angry, dominating (on my part), sex in which I did a lot of dirty, dirty shit to her that I dont think I could do to someone without this whole past two months happening....


And as for that, hah!
"Angry break-up sex", that's great.
Ok, that's good to know...

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." --Paul Ehrlich

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived" -- Winston Churchill

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- The Infamous Mr. Dan Quayle

This reply was last edited on 06-27-06 06:48:02 PM by Menion.
D
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i didn't have the strength to get it all the way off

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Reply 11 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 06:44:42 PM)
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Thats an awesome story about you and the other guy. Fuck the bitch, I wouldn't keep fucking around with her. I'd forget she ever existed and have a good ass time. I guess you could continue fucking her and have a good ass time too, wouldn't really be my style but enjoy either way.
"They could have grown up to become Hitler....collectively." - Ztolk's creepy Flash man
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 12 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 06:50:01 PM)
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He and are are talking on AIM and just found this out:

Quoted from April 21 2006:
it's 8:30 am and I ahven't gone to sleep yet... I'm going to make it till I get to the freak'n bus. I drove a bunch of messed up kids to a gas station just to get smokes, and then to watch snatch. I drove a mercedes benz. I looked pimp in it. see you in.....6 hours. bitches.


She posted that on his wall on Facebook. The "bunch of messed up kids" was me, her, and our mutual friends; the mercedes benz is actually my fucking car. That, and she and I had sex right before she posted that message, which means she probably sent it from my computer.
~British[/whisper] Agent
[whisper].___.
{O,o} O RLY?
/)__)
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IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 13 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:00:23 PM)
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She is pretty hot. I'm a sadistic fuck, and I'm borrowing this from my uncle; if I were you, I'd have sex with her. Then when I was through, who cares if she is, just roll over and say, "Okay, I'm done, get the fuck out." If she keeps coming back for more, then you're set. If not, then whatever, you still have Aaron. And it's still a funny story. She is hot. Also, if you have the resources, make one of those "my ex is a cheating whore" websites with pictures and videos.
Adopt a leggo my eggo ifo.
[01:19] witty tirade: wait wait wait
[01:19] witty tirade: let me get this straight
[01:19] witty tirade: I'm the thin attractive one
[01:19] witty tirade: and you, the fat one, are making fun of me?
[01:19] witty tirade: no sir I do not believe it.
D
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i didn't have the strength to get it all the way off

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Reply 14 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:06:12 PM)
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Oh yeah, I was actually gonna say, you should post naked pictures of her since shes a bitch anyway.
"They could have grown up to become Hitler....collectively." - Ztolk's creepy Flash man
Scruffy - The Janitor
Alcoholics Anonymous
While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing Piggy.

Pimpin is just a haircut and a shave away!

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Reply 15 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:07:43 PM)
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Quoted from NNY's dad:
Son, get the easy ones twice.
Quoted from Dimi:
Oh yeah, I was actually gonna say, you should post naked pictures of her since shes a bitch anyway.
Yes. That'll teach her to be a manipulative whore. And it'll teach the rest of us what a manipulative whore looks like naked. learn u some stuff ok??
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
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Reply 16 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:10:15 PM)
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I second the anti-whore revenge motion. Tell Aaron and get him to share his resources too.
"Hwt, he on a tid e he inne bi, ne bi hrinen mid y storme s wintres; ac t bi an eagan bryhtm and t lste fc, ac he sona of wintre on one winter eft cyme hwt r foregange, oe hwt r fylige, we ne cunnen."
"Lo, he, in the time that he is inside, is not touched by the storm of the winter, but that is an eye's winking and the least time, but he straightway comes back from winter into winter, what thereto may precede or what to it may follow, we do not know."
Menion
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Reply 17 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:15:42 PM)
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Haha, I actually like what IF0 said.

That's one of few scenarios I think might have an effect in situations like this. Hah.
Ok, that's good to know...

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." --Paul Ehrlich

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived" -- Winston Churchill

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- The Infamous Mr. Dan Quayle
ba
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Captain of the Cool Kids

and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 18 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:16:17 PM)
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Aaron's got the naked pics and sex-videos. We contimplated sending them to her parents from her gmail account since I know her password.

Oh, we just found out that in the past two months, we've both fucked her on the same day at least twice.
~British[/whisper] Agent
[whisper].___.
{O,o} O RLY?
/)__)
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Links: Penny Arcade, YTMND, Something Awful.
Menion
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Reply 19 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:18:51 PM)
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Heh, that would be strange to find out. And I second the Gmail idea.
Ok, that's good to know...

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." --Paul Ehrlich

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived" -- Winston Churchill

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- The Infamous Mr. Dan Quayle
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User is currently banned until further notice.

Reply 20 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:20:46 PM)
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Quote:
She used you, now use her.


Fighting fire with fire is fun, until you get burned; or, in this case, infected with AIDS.

Have Fun!
Scruffy - The Janitor
Alcoholics Anonymous
While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing Piggy.

Pimpin is just a haircut and a shave away!

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Reply 21 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:31:54 PM)
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Quoted from vissario:
Quote:
She used you, now use her.


Fighting fire with fire is fun, until you get burned; or, in this case, infected with AIDS.

Have Fun!
Those that sleep with dirty whores without protection deserve their AIDS.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Snowy
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i always try to make a statement with my fashion...thats why today i wore a crop top with a pic of richard nixon captioned: growl at sweat

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Reply 22 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:46:06 PM)
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This is the most excitement you've all had to vicariously enjoy in months!

Snowy Eat World.
Pertti Susilainen
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mr. sukkit

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Reply 23 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 07:50:35 PM)
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Quoted from Gyrocopter:
This is the most excitement you've all had to vicariously enjoy in months!

Only if we get to see Aaron's material.
"Hwt, he on a tid e he inne bi, ne bi hrinen mid y storme s wintres; ac t bi an eagan bryhtm and t lste fc, ac he sona of wintre on one winter eft cyme hwt r foregange, oe hwt r fylige, we ne cunnen."
"Lo, he, in the time that he is inside, is not touched by the storm of the winter, but that is an eye's winking and the least time, but he straightway comes back from winter into winter, what thereto may precede or what to it may follow, we do not know."
Skye
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Reply 24 of 63 (Originally posted on: 06-27-06 08:12:31 PM)
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Bros before hoes, man! *high-five*
http://forums.interestingnonetheless.net/display.php?tid=4368

Doesn't the manatee kind of look like a guest on the Ricki Lake show? "Uh, Ricki, I'm here because I'm endangered." Then one of those mean people in the audience would offer up the advice, "Yeah, I want to say something to the sea pig!" "That's sea cow." "Whatever. Sea pig, you gotta get yourself an education and a job!" "Uh, I live in the ocean." "It just so happens you live in the ocean 'cuz you ain't got no job!" "I don't know what you're -" "You gotta get in Weight Watchers, some kinda program!" "I have a layer of blubber to keep my body warm in the water..." "Whatever, talk to the hand." "I dont have a hand!"
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