playa 23 among 28 hatas
(time of death: 05-30-03 09:11:33 AM)
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My race was obviously much better.
My race, which I ran all by myself, is in white.
You can see I went to all the cool places you guys bypassed.
I stopped in Philadelphia to have sex with Wheezy's girlfriend, then I stabbed Chooch while I passed through Boston, I was arrested and jailed for three hours in Antwerp after I put my cigarette out on the Dutch Prime Minister's forehead, I caught AIDS from a young African boy named Bumtiki who lives in Zimbabwe, I was urinated on by several Hindu women in Sri Lanka, I was drugged while chit-chatting with two strapping young men in a bar in Taiwan, thus causing me to get hopelessly lost in the former soviet union, but I eventually found my way back on track. Once in Tokyo I firebombed Nintendo's headquarters, then in Auckland I was molested by a young Korean boy and several of his sheep, and then I arrived safely in Sydney. All in all the race only took me a year and twenty-six days. And since I fell through a rip in the space-time continuum while sight-seeing in Seattle, I actually finished the race in 1993.
Therefore, I beat all of you by about nine years.
Dr. Bashir: "I can't belive you're not pressing charges."
Garak: "Constable Odo and Captain Sisko expressed similar concerns but really doctor, there was no harm done."
Dr. Bashir: "They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle."
Garak: "Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos."
Dr. Bashir: "Garak, this isn't funny."
Garak: "I'm serious doctor. Thanks to your administrations, I'm almost completely healed but the damage I did to them will last a lifetime."
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