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(Originally posted on: 06-03-02 09:25:10 PM)
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Making Velveeta macaroni and cheese in the microwave is simple, yes? Of course.

Get bowl, put macaroni in bowl, add water, put in microwave.

No problem. Except for that one last step.

Yes, I put macaroni in the microwave without any water. And here I am, sitting at the computer, reading a Dungeon Siege walkthrough when my stomach growls and reminds me of how hungy I am. I get up to check on the macaroni and cheese, and what do I see? Yes, thick white smoke billowing out of the microwave and a horrible smell that's reminiscent of badly burnt popcorn. So I open the microwave, grab the bowl, set it on the porch and begin spraying it with a water bottle. That one incident didn't stop me, I made another batch (Which I'm eating right now). That's my excitement for the day.
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Reply 1 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 09:32:00 PM)
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You'd have to be far stupider to put an egg in the microwave. *hangs head*
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Reply 2 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 09:36:49 PM)
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Let me stress this: NEVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER NO DON'T DO IT GOOD LORD NEVER EVER PUT M&Ms IN THE MICROWAVE.

The terrible, god-forsaken, death-bringing smell will linger for months.
stew

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Reply 3 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 09:58:01 PM)
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I managed to get my taco shells to literally explode into flames and melt before my eyes.
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izzy

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Reply 4 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:08:53 PM)
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I did exactly that, FA.

My microwave is now stained with some yellow residue.
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Reply 5 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:24:26 PM)
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Cooking with a microwave is bad enough, but getting things to explode in it is another thing altogether. I don't think I've ever had any problems with it, aside from a plate breaking, but that was just a crack because it was old.

It's mind-boggling. My mind is boggled. BOGGLED.
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Reply 6 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:33:33 PM)
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That's depressing for a lot of reasons. The main one probably being that you wasted some good macaroni.

Quote:
Cooking with a microwave is bad enough

You lie badly. The microwave is most obviously one of the greatest inventions ever. The microwave does everything (including setting food on fire) that you could possibly want and faster than an oven. It's also simple (for the most part).

So, does your microwave still work, FA? Ours doesn't right now, and hasn't for about a week. It's really sad cause most of the food that I eat that doesn't come in a package needs the microwave.
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Reply 7 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:38:28 PM)
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if i ever found a microwave on the curb that worked, or if someone was gonna get rid of a working one id take it and use it to just blow shit up.
The Penis Mightier
Salamando
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Reply 8 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:43:50 PM)
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Has anyone ever put something living in one? I'm sure that'd be a blast, literately.
SALLY OWNED FA!!!!!! -Wheezy

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Child molesting: So easy even a priest can do it.
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Reply 9 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:45:08 PM)
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When I get married and have kids, I'll stuff one in there and let you know how it goes.

Look for me on the news.
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Reply 10 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:47:53 PM)
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Maybe I'll see you in jail... or I can just wait until we get to hell. Whichever one requires less work on my part.
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Reply 11 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:50:04 PM)
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i know someone who put a cat in one, but only for 1 second. it didnt do anything.
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stew

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Reply 12 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:50:46 PM)
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What about jail in hell?

MINDBOGGLING!

The kid would have to be smart, or I could just kick him into submission.
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Reply 13 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:52:14 PM)
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Would a jail in hell actually be like a safe haven? Because jail is supposed to be the opposite of good... jain is bad in our world because for the most part it's good to be free... but things are normally "bad" in hell and what-not, so maybe a jail would be the opposite and a good place... now that's a point to ponder...
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Reply 14 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:52:46 PM)
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Quote:
i know someone who put a cat in one, but only for 1 second. it didnt do anything.


Maybe we should try a fetus.
SALLY OWNED FA!!!!!! -Wheezy

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Child molesting: So easy even a priest can do it.
boutitben
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Reply 15 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:53:36 PM)
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Or a mother with a fetus.
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Reply 16 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:53:47 PM)
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Quote:
Would a jail in hell actually be like a safe haven? Because jail is supposed to be the opposite of good... jain is bad in our world because for the most part it's good to be free... but things are normally "bad" in hell and what-not, so maybe a jail would be the opposite and a good place... now that's a point to ponder...


*Crys*
SALLY OWNED FA!!!!!! -Wheezy

More books by Ferret.
Child molesting: So easy even a priest can do it.
stew

thick soup

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Reply 17 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:55:02 PM)
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I bet you the assrapes in hell REALLY SUCK.


Hard.
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Yeah.
boutitben
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Reply 18 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:56:08 PM)
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I don't particularly see any feasible way that they would not suck. Not unless I use a telescope.
stew

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Reply 19 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 10:59:13 PM)
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Or take a vacation down there.

Summer's coming up! Better plan!
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Yeah.
Guy Tuttle and Ass
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Reply 20 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 11:04:12 PM)
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Yeah, they could put a pineapple up your ass.
The position being taken is not to be mistaken for attempted education or righteous accusation, only a description, just an observation of the pitiful condition of our degeneration.
stew

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Reply 21 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 11:05:46 PM)
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A flaming one, with the words "Courtesy of Lucifer" on it.
I am ahead.
I am advanced.
I am the first mammal to wear pants.
Yeah.
Guy Tuttle and Ass
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Reply 22 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 11:21:13 PM)
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Yeah, with a spike on the end.

Oh, FA, I like the title you gave me.
The position being taken is not to be mistaken for attempted education or righteous accusation, only a description, just an observation of the pitiful condition of our degeneration.
stew

thick soup

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Reply 23 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 11:26:13 PM)
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And it emanates acid that burns your colon.

How about that?
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Yeah.
boutitben
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Reply 24 of 67 (Originally posted on: 06-03-02 11:26:40 PM)
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And don't forget the spikes on the sides.. that way the sliding motion will... yeah I'm sure you get the idea by now.
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