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Vervet
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(Originally posted on: 05-18-03 03:12:37 PM)
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Five minutes ago, I took a short stroll down the hallway to the bathroom door. I placed my hand on the brass-like knob, and turned my wrist, in order to open the door, and enter the bathroom. The door had been locked. So I knocked, twice (consecutively, like this: knock, knock), and my brother asks in a loud, perturbed voice, "What do you want?". I'd like my deodorant, of course, because I cannot remember if I put any on during my half-awake stupor-trip to the toilet and sink this morning. I realize, as my brother asks me what I want, that he is taking a nice, long, hot bath--most likely with scented bath salts--at four in the afternoon. Why would my brother do this? He abhors bathing more than I ever could. For Christ's sake, he wears the same clothes two days in a row, and then sleeps in them. So why is he bathing--bathe, because he's taking a bath, not a shower--so late in the day, when if he truly needed to wash, it could be postponed a mere three or four hours? There is only one reasonable explanation; my brother is doing the naughty-naughty with himself. This means, at one point, the hand that touched his pee-pee, touched my deodorant stick.

Now I'm afraid to touch my deodorant, and fear for the platinum protection of my armpits, and sanitation of my hands. :{:{
It is a strange world, a sad world, a world of miseries, and woes, and troubles; and yet when King Laugh come he make them all dance to the tune he play. Bleeding hearts, and dry bones of the churchyard, and tears that burn as they fall-all dance together to the music that he make with smileless mouth of him. And believe me...that he is good to come, and kind. Ah, we men and women are like ropes drawn tight with strain that pull us differeny ways. Then tears come; and, like the rain on the ropes, they brace us up, until perhaps the strain become too great, and we break. But Kind Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again; and we bear to go on with our labour, what it may be.
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Reply 1 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 03:25:38 PM)
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Spray hairspray all over the deodorant stick and then throw a match at it so all his penis germs burn off of it.
My Karma Ran Over My Dogma
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Reply 2 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 03:32:19 PM)
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Casually bring this fact to your parent's attention at a meal when everyone, including your brother, is around.

That should teach him.
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Reply 3 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 03:41:40 PM)
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use his toothbrush to knock the deoderant into the sink (assuming you keep it near the sink or in the medicine cabinet, and such is located above the sink) and pour boiling water over it, that should get rid of his penis germs if you're concerned.
" there is a reason they call it dope, because u are a dope if u smoke it you are a dope, and you smell" -- 'Jimmy'

"kept said no, if stubborn then u may report to adult" -- 'Sappy'

"DRUGS R BAD U SHOUN'T DO THEM ONE DAY MY BEST FRIEND ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO DRINK ALCHOL I SAID NO THAT CAN SCREW UP YOUR LIFE AND AFTER THAT ME NEVER DID ANY THING WITH EACH OTHER THAT SUCKED WE WERE GREAT BUDS." -- 'SHEL'

"why do you think drugs are cool if it mite get you pragnet or get you killd it is esyr gest to not smoke or do drugs because it is gest a waist of your money and time that you coughd be hanging out with your freinds." -- 'ya so'

"when they ask, "You wanna hit?" Just say "Ya I wanna hit you because your so stupid for doing that." -- 'AJ'
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Reply 4 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 04:26:03 PM)
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Maybe he was taking a crap?
"MY BUM IS ON THE MAN!" - Soccy
"I decided to admit that I'm a huge homosexual" - Soccy
"I just think circumsized dicks look a whole lot better" - Soccy
"So?" - Soccy, when confronted with the statement "You like boys!"
"Well Danielle, when you turned your back on our religion and basically questioned all of our values and practically insulted our whole sense of faith and our lifestyle, we were alright with that, we let that slide. THEN you came and said that you're attracted to women, we thought that was questionable, but we could get used to it. But the day that you have pornographic videos on your computer, YOU'RE FUCKING OUT." - Soccy
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Reply 5 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 04:26:33 PM)
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Vervet, you'd better not think of it. Because if you stop to analyze it, probably everything in your house has been touched by your brother's hand right after one of his "experiences".

Actually, analyze it. Probably he touched you too at some point.
This world is breeding cold, ridicule, only good for a fuck - Bad Astronaut
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Reply 6 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 04:42:45 PM)
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You bring up your brother masturbating in the bath a lot, 'Melia. I don't think there's really anything to worry about.. it's not like he jizzed all over your deodorant or directly touched it with his dick. What would he want with your deodorant?

PS; why in the RS?
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Reply 7 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 04:58:31 PM)
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Quote:
So I knocked, twice (consecutively, like this: knock, knock), and my brother asks in a loud, perturbed voice, "What do you want?".


Yeah, he was jacking it.
Dr. Bashir: "I can't belive you're not pressing charges."
Garak: "Constable Odo and Captain Sisko expressed similar concerns but really doctor, there was no harm done."
Dr. Bashir: "They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle."
Garak: "Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos."
Dr. Bashir: "Garak, this isn't funny."
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Pertti Susilainen
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Reply 8 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 05:04:08 PM)
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You should feel guilty, you ruined his fun.
This world is breeding cold, ridicule, only good for a fuck - Bad Astronaut
NNY
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Reply 9 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 05:07:31 PM)
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and this should be moved to ID. its neither spam, troll nor flames.
" there is a reason they call it dope, because u are a dope if u smoke it you are a dope, and you smell" -- 'Jimmy'

"kept said no, if stubborn then u may report to adult" -- 'Sappy'

"DRUGS R BAD U SHOUN'T DO THEM ONE DAY MY BEST FRIEND ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO DRINK ALCHOL I SAID NO THAT CAN SCREW UP YOUR LIFE AND AFTER THAT ME NEVER DID ANY THING WITH EACH OTHER THAT SUCKED WE WERE GREAT BUDS." -- 'SHEL'

"why do you think drugs are cool if it mite get you pragnet or get you killd it is esyr gest to not smoke or do drugs because it is gest a waist of your money and time that you coughd be hanging out with your freinds." -- 'ya so'

"when they ask, "You wanna hit?" Just say "Ya I wanna hit you because your so stupid for doing that." -- 'AJ'
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Reply 10 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 05:33:10 PM)
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Vervet, just wash your hands.:p

It's not like his penis is that bad. How old is he, by the way?
icewyvern

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Reply 11 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 05:52:41 PM)
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If it's his touched-penis-then-touched-stick thing you're worried about, there's no need to. There'll be too many things he'd have touched in the course of his life (that holds for everyone else in your family too, too). If you're worried about fluids, he probably worried more than you about getting anything on your stick.
It isn't like the first day of Genesis, where the Secretary of Defence waves his hand over Iraq and says "Let there be democracy." - Leon Fuerth

Life Sucks.


Vervet
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Reply 12 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:09:39 PM)
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Quoted from sukkit:
Vervet, you'd better not think of it. Because if you stop to analyze it, probably everything in your house has been touched by your brother's hand right after one of his "experiences".

Once I walked in on him (didn't SEE anything, but, he was in his bed during the middle of the day, and not sleeping or watching TV, and his hands were..), and then five minutes later, he walked out of his room (by touching the doorknob!!) and then, he went downstairs and hugged my mom. I've repressed this long since, but I distincly remember him NOT washing his hands.

Quoted from Sunshine:
Vervet, just wash your hands.:p

It's not like his penis is that bad. How old is he, by the way?


I did. And he's fourteen. And all penises are bad.
It is a strange world, a sad world, a world of miseries, and woes, and troubles; and yet when King Laugh come he make them all dance to the tune he play. Bleeding hearts, and dry bones of the churchyard, and tears that burn as they fall-all dance together to the music that he make with smileless mouth of him. And believe me...that he is good to come, and kind. Ah, we men and women are like ropes drawn tight with strain that pull us differeny ways. Then tears come; and, like the rain on the ropes, they brace us up, until perhaps the strain become too great, and we break. But Kind Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again; and we bear to go on with our labour, what it may be.
D
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Reply 13 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:13:05 PM)
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Quoted from Dimi:
Maybe he was taking a crap?

It's not unlikely. I'd be loud and perturbed if my crapping was interrupted.
"MY BUM IS ON THE MAN!" - Soccy
"I decided to admit that I'm a huge homosexual" - Soccy
"I just think circumsized dicks look a whole lot better" - Soccy
"So?" - Soccy, when confronted with the statement "You like boys!"
"Well Danielle, when you turned your back on our religion and basically questioned all of our values and practically insulted our whole sense of faith and our lifestyle, we were alright with that, we let that slide. THEN you came and said that you're attracted to women, we thought that was questionable, but we could get used to it. But the day that you have pornographic videos on your computer, YOU'RE FUCKING OUT." - Soccy
icewyvern

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Reply 14 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:37:50 PM)
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Your brother should really learn to lock doors and do his stuff at night...
It isn't like the first day of Genesis, where the Secretary of Defence waves his hand over Iraq and says "Let there be democracy." - Leon Fuerth

Life Sucks.


Tyr

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Reply 15 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:41:05 PM)
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Quoted from Jota:
Spray hairspray all over the deodorant stick and then throw a match at it so all his penis germs burn off of it.


That was hilarious.
Moribus antiquis res stat Romana virisque[/w]
[w]Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Vervet
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Reply 16 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:44:05 PM)
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Quoted from Dimi:
Quoted from Dimi:
Maybe he was taking a crap?

It's not unlikely. I'd be loud and perturbed if my crapping was interrupted.

I heard him get out of the tub, he didn't have clothes on (thus handed it to me with one hand out of the door), the hand he used to hand it to me was wet and... slimy. ::shiver::

Quoted from Ice:
Your brother should really learn to lock doors and do his stuff at night...

The lock on his door doesn't work well. For that matter, his door doesn't work well. He did lock the bathroom door, though, so he's learning.
It is a strange world, a sad world, a world of miseries, and woes, and troubles; and yet when King Laugh come he make them all dance to the tune he play. Bleeding hearts, and dry bones of the churchyard, and tears that burn as they fall-all dance together to the music that he make with smileless mouth of him. And believe me...that he is good to come, and kind. Ah, we men and women are like ropes drawn tight with strain that pull us differeny ways. Then tears come; and, like the rain on the ropes, they brace us up, until perhaps the strain become too great, and we break. But Kind Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again; and we bear to go on with our labour, what it may be.
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Reply 17 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:47:27 PM)
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Quote:
I did. And he's fourteen. And all penises are bad.


Well, if your willing to touch your boyfriends/ex-boyfriends/etcs penis, which is probably older then fourteen years, then it is fine to be handed your deoderant based on speculation alone that he masturbated, with that hand.

(on a side note, out of everyone I know, bathtubs are not the best places to masturbate for either sex).
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Reply 18 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:49:57 PM)
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Quoted from Shitty Ice:
Your brother should really learn to lock doors and do his stuff at night...


The door was locked, that's why she knocked.
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ba
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Reply 19 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:53:01 PM)
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Very true, He was most likely just taking a bath. If you're a guy, it's pretty much impossible to masturbate while it's submerged in water.
~British Agent
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Number One - Never tell anyone everything you know."
Vervet
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Reply 20 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 06:55:40 PM)
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Quoted from Sunshine:
Quote:
I did. And he's fourteen. And all penises are bad.


Well, if your willing to touch your boyfriends/ex-boyfriends/etcs penis, which is probably older then fourteen years, then it is fine to be handed your deoderant based on speculation alone that he masturbated, with that hand.

(on a side note, out of everyone I know, bathtubs are not the best places to masturbate for either sex).


My brother is not my boyfriend. And my brother's penis is far different from my boyfriends, in the fact that it's my brother's.

And who says he has to fill the tub up all the way?
It is a strange world, a sad world, a world of miseries, and woes, and troubles; and yet when King Laugh come he make them all dance to the tune he play. Bleeding hearts, and dry bones of the churchyard, and tears that burn as they fall-all dance together to the music that he make with smileless mouth of him. And believe me...that he is good to come, and kind. Ah, we men and women are like ropes drawn tight with strain that pull us differeny ways. Then tears come; and, like the rain on the ropes, they brace us up, until perhaps the strain become too great, and we break. But Kind Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again; and we bear to go on with our labour, what it may be.
icewyvern

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Reply 21 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 07:00:21 PM)
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Quoted from Mr Pixies:
Quoted from Shitty Ice:
Your brother should really learn to lock doors and do his stuff at night...


The door was locked, that's why she knocked.


That's a false assumption though. She knocked != door is locked. But I was actually talking about the incident where she walked in on him. I presumed he was in his room.
It isn't like the first day of Genesis, where the Secretary of Defence waves his hand over Iraq and says "Let there be democracy." - Leon Fuerth

Life Sucks.


Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 22 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 07:01:23 PM)
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Quoted from Vervet:
My brother is not my boyfriend. And my brother's penis is far different from my boyfriends, in the fact that it's my brother's


It's still a penis....

Quoted from Vervet:
And all penises are bad.




Quote:
And who says he has to fill the tub up all the way?


Water is still overrated. One day he'll learn that.
This reply was last edited on 05-18-03 07:08:55 PM by Sunn O))).
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Reply 23 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 07:14:51 PM)
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Quote:
That's a false assumption though. She knocked != door is locked.


Quote:
The door had been locked.

I mean for real this time, or at least just kinda try!
Vervet
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Reply 24 of 42 (Originally posted on: 05-18-03 07:27:16 PM)
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Quoted from Sunshine:
Quote:
And who says he has to fill the tub up all the way?


Water is still overrated. One day he'll learn that.

For now, he'll be 14.
It is a strange world, a sad world, a world of miseries, and woes, and troubles; and yet when King Laugh come he make them all dance to the tune he play. Bleeding hearts, and dry bones of the churchyard, and tears that burn as they fall-all dance together to the music that he make with smileless mouth of him. And believe me...that he is good to come, and kind. Ah, we men and women are like ropes drawn tight with strain that pull us differeny ways. Then tears come; and, like the rain on the ropes, they brace us up, until perhaps the strain become too great, and we break. But Kind Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again; and we bear to go on with our labour, what it may be.
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