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Scruffy - The Janitor
Alcoholics Anonymous
While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing Piggy.

Pimpin is just a haircut and a shave away!

Ballkicks: (+650 / -57)
Posts: 3017 (0.473)
Reg. Date: Jan 2003
Location: Someplace where there's beer...
Gender: Male

It's about time there was a quotes thread of sorts. So here it is. Yeah.

Quoted from Joel:
Nothing gets in the way of a man and his vodka. Exept maybe his parents and the law...

Quoted from Joel:
If I were to ever disembowel myself I'd do it over the toilet, wouldnt want to stain the carpet. And knowing me, with my last breath I'd flush.

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer

Spazz
The DA: Dumbledore's Army
Didn't donate $500 dollars to INTL!

got way too much shit when she was here

Ballkicks: (+141 / -122)
Posts: 651 (0.103)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location: Sealab
Gender: Female

Quoted from spazz:
When I say I have something you want that dosen't mean I will give it to you. It means I will share it with you.

Ok so it is not funny but I said it tonight.

And shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord for thee. Power hath decended forth from thy hand so our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. And we shall flow a river forth to thee and teaming with souls shall it ever be. E Nomini Patri, E fili, E Spiritu Sancti.

This reply was last edited on 03-08-03 02:26:54 AM by Spazz.

Mingan
INTL Alumni
Mmm Skyscraper I Love You

Why are we having this wedding? because Abraham Lincoln, of course!

Ballkicks: (+637 / -48)
Posts: 3444 (0.518)
Reg. Date: May 2002
Location: Amsterdamned
Gender: Male

Quoted from a friend:
I was home alright, but my flower was red.

that one might go over some heads here, but it's funny, trust me.

It's actually better in Dutch:

Quoted from a friend:
Ik was wel thuis, maar mijn bloempje stond op rood.

I stared in God's eyes. He blinked.

There is not a single shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious.

NNY
Alcoholics Anonymous
Forum Drunkard

Staying in alone, with my cat.

Ballkicks: (+666 / -76)
Posts: 7759 (1.16)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: A room with a moose
Gender: Male

Quoted from a friend:
I was home alright, but my flower was red.

huh?

Quoted from a friend:
Ik was wel thuis, maar mijn bloempje stond op rood.

LOL!

"there are these boys in my neighborhood that smoke pot, weed, you name it. anyway,one day when my cuzin was at my house we called the cops on them.the cops came over to there house but they did not catch them. a few weeks later my friends went to go drop off a movie at his house i went along w/ them the boy who smokes says which 1 of your parents snithed on me that i was smoking weed? me and my friend ran to my house and i went inside by the way this boy who smokes weed is 15 and cant even paint a mailbox w/ even strokes"

This reply was last edited on 03-08-03 03:40:27 AM by NNY.

icewyvern

Frozen Turds

Ballkicks: (+61 / -14)
Posts: 653 (0.102)
Reg. Date: Dec 2002
Location: Singapore
Gender: Male

Quoted from my she-boss when we are alone in the office:
I'm not talking bad about her behind her back - I never do that - but so-and-so does this, does that, says this, says that...

Quoted from my she-boss when we are in "friendly" mode:
You're still young [I'm almost 30!] - you don't know much about the world.

Quoted from my she-boss when she is in her "giving advice" mode:
Don't trust or befriend gay people [I'm bi!!] - they make lousy friends, are indiscreet and all of them will backstab you one day.

Quoted from my she-boss when she is in her "money is everything" mode:
If God asked me if I wanted health or money, I'd pick money. It doesn't matter if I get cancer, strokes, heart attacks or other diseases as long as I have money.

A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright

Tyr

I cybered with Kayte

Ballkicks: (+479 / -130)
Posts: 4815 (0.72)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: Then and Now
Gender: Male

Quoted from icewyvern:

Quoted from Quoted from my she-boss when she is in her "giving advice" mode::

Don't trust or befriend gay people [I'm bi!!] - they make lousy friends, are indiscreet and all of them will backstab you one day.

This woman deserves the Pulitzer.

Moribus antiquis res stat Romana virisque[/w]
[w]Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Spazz
The DA: Dumbledore's Army
Didn't donate $500 dollars to INTL!

got way too much shit when she was here

Ballkicks: (+141 / -122)
Posts: 651 (0.103)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location: Sealab
Gender: Female

Quoted from spazz:
My breasts have nerves, and little sensory things

Baggy_Brad
FIGJAM

Cool.

Ballkicks: (+1431 / -135)
Posts: 6737 (1.009)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: Australia, Mate
Gender: Male

"She can find Australia, you'd think she could find lecture theatre SS 2" - Brad, after some Asian chick asked me and my friends to lecture theatre SS 2 on afternoon at Uni.

I'm a Bloody Aussie!
"Your words cut me like a safety razor." - Blacksun

Who needs women when you've got Cricket... The Hackey Central Times

Coca-Cola
INTL Premium Member

MY WIG-WAM WOKS!

Ballkicks: (+503 / -183)
Posts: 3103 (0.488)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Gender: Male

Quote:
Stupid man give wife grand piano. Smart man give wife upright organ.

This next quote is from a friend:

Quote:
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

...and last but not least, from my highschool Latin teacher, who died in July 2001.

Quote:
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Coca-Cola - Those who like it like it a lot!

Spazz
The DA: Dumbledore's Army
Didn't donate $500 dollars to INTL!

got way too much shit when she was here

Ballkicks: (+141 / -122)
Posts: 651 (0.103)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location: Sealab
Gender: Female

Quoted from my mom:
The only getting high you better be doing is getting high on Jesus.

She said that when I told her that I was going to be having a party that Eli could come to.

NNY
Alcoholics Anonymous
Forum Drunkard

Staying in alone, with my cat.

Ballkicks: (+666 / -76)
Posts: 7759 (1.16)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: A room with a moose
Gender: Male

Quoted from Nate:
Who's ever heard of a marine biologist with a vibrating cock?

Baggy_Brad
FIGJAM

Cool.

Ballkicks: (+1431 / -135)
Posts: 6737 (1.009)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: Australia, Mate
Gender: Male

Ztolk: My cousin's got downs
Brad: Does she live in a home?
Ztolk: No, she's a dental hygeneist.

I'm a Bloody Aussie!
"Your words cut me like a safety razor." - Blacksun

Who needs women when you've got Cricket... The Hackey Central Times

NNY
Alcoholics Anonymous
Forum Drunkard

Staying in alone, with my cat.

Ballkicks: (+666 / -76)
Posts: 7759 (1.16)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: A room with a moose
Gender: Male

could be worse, she could be a gynacologist (sic)

nimo

lvl 16 wizard, yo

Ballkicks: (+321 / -17)
Posts: 1007 (0.151)
Reg. Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
Gender: Male

"I hope you like the taste of cock in your mouth motherfucker" - Squall

www.uselessstatic.com

Mojo
Velocity BITCH

Big Mamma Bitch

Ballkicks: (+192 / -66)
Posts: 1449 (0.226)
Reg. Date: Dec 2002
Location: Houston
Gender: Female

"If you aren't the lead dog, the view never changes."

"Give me the luxuries of life and I can do without some of the necessities."
-Evelyn Waugh

Spazz
The DA: Dumbledore's Army
Didn't donate $500 dollars to INTL!

got way too much shit when she was here

Ballkicks: (+141 / -122)
Posts: 651 (0.103)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location: Sealab
Gender: Female

Quoted from Mojo:
"If you aren't the lead dog, the view never changes."

I love that one so much. big grin

Nemesis
Zuri's Cat
They're ALL scientologists damn you! IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

Ballkicks: (+87 / -19)
Posts: 429 (0.067)
Reg. Date: Dec 2002
Location: Detroit
Gender: Male

Quote:
A lot of books say that drinking is bad for you. So I quit reading.

See signature

"A Real Friend Bails U Outta Jail...A Best Friend Is Next To You Sayin That Shit Was Off The Hook Lets Do It Again!"

Guru

Ballkicks: (+66 / -21)
Posts: 540 (0.081)
Reg. Date: Apr 2002
Location: Austin, Texas
Gender: Male

Me: I'm going to eat my cousin's children

My physics teacher: I was doped up on valium the whole week.

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Scruffy - The Janitor
Alcoholics Anonymous
While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing Piggy.

Pimpin is just a haircut and a shave away!

Ballkicks: (+650 / -57)
Posts: 3017 (0.473)
Reg. Date: Jan 2003
Location: Someplace where there's beer...
Gender: Male

"Hey, you're a lot like Moby Dick! You swallow a lot of sea men. Yarrrrr!!! Thar' she blows!"

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer

greenidentity
Disco naps and liquorice Snaps.

It is time for some fine fine wine.....or box wine it's all good man

Ballkicks: (+603 / -81)
Posts: 3891 (0.589)
Reg. Date: Jun 2002
Location: Planet Seeth
Gender: Unspecified

"Suckin my fuckin ass"--GG Allin

Well my worn-out boots are taking me downtown
and I'm looking for trouble and I wanna get loud.
Serve me up a drink and I'll shoot it right down, I'll jump up on the bar and holler,
"One more round!"
I'm going straight to hell
Ain't nothing slowin' me down
I'm going straight to hell
so you just better get me one more round!

Vampire

Ballkicks: (+7 / -11)
Posts: 81 (0.013)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location: Australia
Gender: Male

"I took a Viagra today, it got stuck in my throat , had a stiff neck for hours."

*¤VãMÞíRé¤*

Zippo
pooooooop

Leveling entire cities with her magnificient girl-cock

Ballkicks: (+1097 / -49)
Posts: 5302 (0.823)
Reg. Date: Nov 2002
Location: America's Wang
Gender: Unspecified

A conversation that occurred during my Sunday School class:
(Some of my students were beating up another student.)
Me: Don't beat him up; he's fragile.
Student: What did you just call me?
Me: I said that you're fragile.
Student: Oh, yeah? Well, at least I don't wear pantyhose!(laughs hysterically at his own joke)

"In physics, 'revolution' means one time around; in South America, it means 'overthrow the government.'" - Dr. H

icewyvern

Frozen Turds

Ballkicks: (+61 / -14)
Posts: 653 (0.102)
Reg. Date: Dec 2002
Location: Singapore
Gender: Male

Quoted from my she-boss at 1500hrs:
Do this now.

5 minutes later (almost done):

Quoted from my she-boss at 1505hrs:
Why are you so slow. I can finish it in 5 minutes. Give it to me!

*Passes her the file, explain and goes through everything with her because she has no idea what is going on, and I have to explain everything I just did and almost finished*

Quoted from my she-boss at 1600hrs:
See! If I did it myself, I could have done it in 5 minutes, not like you struggling with your work!

*Struck mute*

We shit what we eat. So what we're eating in fact, is processed and qualified shit, but shit nonetheless.

Life Sucks. So Enjoy It.

Pertti Susilainen
Head Priest

mr. sukkit

Ballkicks: (+924 / -57)
Posts: 7104 (1.107)
Reg. Date: Dec 2002
Location: Mayrit
Gender: Male

Quoted from a friend:
I don't want a bitch to suck my dick. I'd rather masturbate while she sucks yours

Quoted from a conversation between that same guy and some girl:
Guy: I want a half
Girl: Me too
Guy: Then let's buy one and a half

Quoted from the same guy:
Obviously my cock isn't 22 cm. long. If it were I wouldn't be here; I'd be making some porn movie

Quoted from my mother, watching news on TV about some al-Qaeda guys captured in Spain:
I can understand if Arabs believe that kind of stupid things, but a Spaniard...

(Being shocked, I took some time to reply: "Yeah, because all Arabs are terrorists, and all Muslims are Arabs..." LOL IM SUCH A FAG!!

. Her reply:

Quote:
For me they all are Arabs!

Like, what a nazi

spoon

Deer Hunter

Ballkicks: (+60 / -18)
Posts: 157 (0.025)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location:
Gender: Female

Step-dad-
"You only have 5 more hours on that damn computer so hurry up and do what you need to..."

"Just call me Joe."

"Fear me, for I am stainless steel."

"I'm not sure if you're cool and hip enough to fight the dark army of triple-headed megabeasts that I have to battle on a daily basis." - Drop Dead Fred

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