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Pertti Susilainen
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(Originally posted on: 06-01-15 04:20:27 AM)
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A close friend of mine is getting married in 3 weeks and I have nothing to wear, so I need your help.

I hate suits. Hate hate hate hate hate them. I don't like the way they look, I don't like the way they feel, and I'd rather not have anything to do with them, ever, so that's all traditional wedding menswear out of the table.

Because I work from home and hopefully always will, I can afford certain things in terms of fashion and personal image that not everybody can, and I like that. It's not like I want to dress all PUNX or anything, but I rather appreciate that freedom to come up with my own style. It's just that, apparently, I can't do that on my own.

So, let's see your suggestions for alternative styles that will look informal, I suppose, and very much non-traditional, but still elegant and, well, hawt.

Not too hot, though. This is central Spain in late June, after all, and while men are traditionally expected to show up in long-sleeved shirts and jackets none the less, I deal very, very badly with the heat due to the anxiety problems I've mentioned a couple of times before, so any slack I can cut myself in that regard would be welcome.
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Guy Tuttle and Ass
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Reply 1 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 04:38:58 AM)
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You haven't really given us much to work with here. What are you imagining? What kind of clothes do you normally wear?


Last summer I bought a nice suit at Zara that set me back around 200. It was the first suit I had ever bought, and I feel it was a pretty good investment. Since you've got a summer wedding you can find some lighter suits that shouldn't make you too hot.

But seriously, just wear a suit, you don't want to be that one jackass who ruins the wedding photos because he can't be bothered to go out of his way for someone else. If you want, choose a light blue or tan color, that way you won't blend in to the march of the penguins procession down the aisle but will still be dressed up enough to be respectful to the people getting married
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Reply 2 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 04:40:21 AM)
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It's important to remember that your personal feelings about suits are utterly irrelevant w.r.t. someone else's wedding
Pertti Susilainen
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Reply 3 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 04:58:00 AM)
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I'm not giving you much to work with because I honestly have very little idea of what I want. I was hoping people would give ideas and post pictures at random and something would click. I'm not totally averse to ties and I would consider some sort of blazer and shirt combination.

Again, no suits. The bride is a close friend who knows me perfectly well and who couldn't care less about what other people wear, and besides, I will be dressing up regardless. That's the whole point - dressing up nice without a fancy suit. I don't see any disrespect here.

Also, the heat issue is much bigger than I'm comfortable letting on. Assume it's barely below "looking nice and elegant" in terms of importance.
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emtilt

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Reply 4 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 08:12:28 AM)
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Will all of the other guests be wearing suits?
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Reply 5 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 08:54:38 AM)
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Are you in the wedding or just a guest at the wedding?
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Reply 6 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 09:05:51 AM)
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If you don't want to wear a suit, just wear nice pants and a nice shirt and a tie and then you're basically wearing a suit, but without a jacket. And that's fine because it's hot outside.
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Reply 7 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 10:00:13 AM)
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I know this isn't what this thread is about but I honestly don't understand not liking the way suits look. As long as they fit right they always look good.
Pertti Susilainen
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Reply 8 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 12:06:05 PM)
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Quoted from emtilt:
Will all of the other guests be wearing suits?

No, there's at least a couple of guys I know who aren't going to wear a suit, including the bride's father's best friend.
Quoted from Il Papa Orso:
Are you in the wedding or just a guest at the wedding?

Just a guest.
Quoted from Flavius Flav:
If you don't want to wear a suit, just wear nice pants and a nice shirt and a tie and then you're basically wearing a suit, but without a jacket. And that's fine because it's hot outside.

Yeah, I might end up doing something like this, but ideally I'd like to come up with something a bit more personal. And yes, I'm aware of how silly it is to turn to other people for that. I just need a push and some data on what other people might find acceptable, what they've seen or worn themselves, or what their hipster cousin managed to pull off at a retro wedding.
Quoted from Il Papa Orso:
I know this isn't what this thread is about but I honestly don't understand not liking the way suits look. As long as they fit right they always look good.

Might be my Peter Pan complex.
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Reply 9 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 12:39:06 PM)
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Well if you don't want to wear a tie there are a bunch of alternatives. Bow-tie is obvious, there is the cowboy Bolo Tie, you could try to pull off one of these things or one of these things. There are also knit ties which are still ties but they look different. Suspenders are an option if you want to be different. If you don't like dress pants there aren't too many options that I know of, other than a kilt. I think those are probably expensive but I've seen them worn at formal occasions. You could probably do the formal wear of another culture like India or China, or perhaps you can go for the Canadian Tuxedo?
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Reply 10 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 12:43:14 PM)
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First thing you should do is find out what the wedding party is expecting their guests to wear. Do they want their guests to be casual and if so, how casual? Do they want them dressed formally? Business? Usually this information is contained on the invitation. This would at least help us get an idea how you should be dressed.

EDIT: The honest truth, Sukkit, is that unless you're in the wedding party nobody is going to have eyes on you. It's for the best if you don't stand out one way or another, and you don't have to go over-the-top trying to look perfect.
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Reply 11 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 02:35:56 PM)
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Well black collared shirts are cool if its not going to be hot that is.
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Reply 12 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 02:57:10 PM)
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Madrid in three weeks is probably gonna be hot as hell
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Reply 13 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 03:00:16 PM)
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You wear glasses right? I think suspenders is a good look for a short dude in glasses, maybe a bow tie too
Pertti Susilainen
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Reply 14 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 04:11:27 PM)
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Yeah, I wear glasses but I'm like 6'3" so I dunno.

The wedding is not in Madrid, it's a short distance to the north and close to a mountain range, so they get cooler nights but the days are a blazing inferno all the same (this thing gets started at 6:30, which means most of it will be after dusk but there's still 2-3 hours of intense heat to worry about if you account for the preparations). A black shirt might be hotter, that's true, but that's what I wore last time and I managed (it was short-sleeved, though, because I was too chickenshit to wear anything else).

I have some fancy dark brown pants that I have to try on to see if they still fit, but they would do the trick. I might go with that, but if I can't find anything that'd be a good match, I don't mind buying new pants. No problem there.

A bolo tie would be hilarious, I'm not sure I can find that stuff here but I'll take a look just in case. The continental tie is intriguing but I can't for the life of me find the Spanish name. Seriously, I think the fanciest ties I've found on Spanish sites were simply cravats and the like. Well, they do have knit ties, so at least I guess I do have an alternative to normal ties. I was raised to think bow ties were ridiculous, but then it turned out they were fashionable and I've had several people recommend them. I think I'd prefer a necktie, even if it's a boring traditional one, but I don't rule bow ties out.

That Nehru jacket thing is gorgeous but it looks rather hot. A jacket of some sort would look good, objectively, but I'm not sure I'd be able to keep it on, even before the banquet. Still, it does get chilly at night, like I said, so it might actually be a good idea even if I focus only on its practicality. So yeah, OK, I think I'm going to look for a jacket. It helps create more interesting colour schemes, if nothing else.

There's no dress code, really. The invitation doesn't say anything about it, and the bride says she doesn't care as long as no other woman dresses in white. While there are weddings in Spain that specify a strict dress code, those tend to be the exception and are seen as rather snobbish. So it's a formal occasion, but there's no need to get too crazy. I don't want to stand out, I just want to find something I'm comfortable in.

Any other ideas?

Thanks for your help, guys. I love you.
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Reply 15 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 05:29:02 PM)
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Can you dress like a flamenco? Is that a possibility?
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Reply 16 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 05:44:52 PM)
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Wear one of these they look breezy as hell.
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Reply 17 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-01-15 11:25:51 PM)
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Your job at a wedding is very much not to stand out; it's to match the general aesthetic so as to not distract from everything else. While I don't know what is typical in Spain, in most Western countries this defaults to a suit. If you aren't going to wear a suit, you should wear as close to that as you are willing, such as dark slacks and a dress shirt with a tie. Funerals and weddings are typically the wrong places to wear outlandish attire unless it is a specified style for the event. Your job is to accommodate the relevant families, not yourself.
Pertti Susilainen
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Reply 18 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-02-15 01:49:17 AM)
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Quote:
I don't want to stand out

And seriously, my job at a wedding is to be there for a close friend of mine who is getting married. I'm going to distract from fuck-all.
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Reply 19 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-02-15 04:48:23 AM)
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Oh, I definitely read "Peter Pan complex" and thought "Napoleon Complex"
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Reply 20 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-02-15 06:59:51 AM)
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To be honest I don't think he's going to stand out or distract from anything unless he wears some kind of all-white tuxedo or stovepipe hat. Men's formal options, even on the weirder edges of the spectrum, are pretty bland and don't stand out much.
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Reply 21 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-02-15 09:51:55 AM)
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I'm telling you, flamenco is in.
Pertti Susilainen
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Reply 22 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-02-15 04:28:11 PM)
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I'm afraid flamenco is as alien to me as the idea that you might steal the spotlight by wearing something vaguely different.

I wish I could dress up in fancy steampunk clothes, though.
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Reply 23 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-02-15 04:51:22 PM)
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My next wedding is either going to be entirely steampunk or Mexican as hell depending on who I marry
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Reply 24 of 46 (Originally posted on: 06-02-15 05:55:25 PM)
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Mexican steampunk: you're welcome.
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