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Muzta
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(Originally posted on: 06-06-13 07:38:18 PM)
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So ever since the three new star wars were released Iíve hated them. I hated how they butchered the characters from the first three movies, I hated how they made a terrible kids movie out of it.

But mostly....I just fucking hated the story, and this continues to bother me immensely. So I've decided to take 15 minutes to try and bang out something I think is superior with a couple simple changes. My hope is that this will be therapeutic.

Feel free to make fun of me, in fact I encourage you to make fun of me, I deserve it.

A couple of fore thoughts
1. Darth Vader is Evil - Darth Vader is not a tortured teenager who made some bad decisions. In the entire course of the first three star wars he did exactly one non-evil thing, the principal of the third movie is that he has one sliver of good in him.

2. Jediís are cool secret agents, not tanks. Looking for them to be a lot more like James Bond and a lot less like Iron Man.

So Letís begin

Obi Wan and Qui Gon are investigating the blockade which the trade federation is claiming is in response to Nabu engaging in privateering. The jedi are just there to verify the Tradeís Fedís claims but when they ask to investigate the planet surface the federation turns on them and they are forced to flee.

The jedi reach the surface, and while there are chased by Darth Maul and the droid legions. There are no fucking Gungans.

Obi Wan and Qui Gon reach Padme Amidala, she is about 10 and the daughter of the planets ruler not the fucking democratically elected queen.
They discover that Nabu was not targeting Trade Federation Ships and that the blockade is unjustified/unexplained

They flee to Tatooine, their ship is badly damaged the process they meet Anakin and his mother, Anakin is played by some one who doesn't suck. There is no mention of midichlorians. Obi Wan and Qui Gon make a deal with Watto that if Obi Wan races Wattoís speader Watto will fix the ship and if Obi Wan wins they get to take Anakin and his mother with them. (ewan mcgregor is one of two good actors in this movie, there should be more of him and less of others).
Obi Wan wins and a Furious Wattoís tries to kill Anakin and his mother, at which point Anakinís mother sacrifices herself to save him. Then Obi Wan rushes in, disarms Watto and then cuts him down.

I like this scene for a couple reason
1. It can be used to establish Anakinís extreme drive to become a powerful Jedi (if he were more powerful Jedi he could have saved his mother)
2. It helps establish Obi Wan as a bit of a loose cannon which I think is important because a loose cannon Obi Wan would be a great Jedi to train Darth Vader (it would also give him a reason to be sullen and remorseful in his old age)

*cut away scene*
Land of invasion of Naboo is finished, Darth Maul hunts down and kills Padmeís Mother, leader of the government in exile.

Ok, the gang all goes to Coruscant and Anakin is accepted by the Jedi, but they refuse to allow him to be trained directly by Qui Gon and instead insist that he be trained by the academy (Darkness in his heart blah blah), the Imperial senate dithers on what to do about Naboo so
Qui Gon and Obi Wan decided to return to Naboo on their own and aid the resistance,
They leave Padme and Anakin behind because they are children

Qui Gon and Obi Wan join the resistance and and insight a wave of rebellion destroying the Trade Federations ground forces and headquarters forcing a withdrawal.

Qui Gon is killed by Darth Maul, who is subsequently killed by Obi Wan
-end movie-

Concepts I want the movie goer to leave with
1. Qui Gon and Obi Wan are not enamored with the Senate bureaucracy or the Jedi effectualness, this trait will be passed on to Anakin
2. The whole plot was masterminded by Palpatine to demonstrate the inability of the republic to protect the outlines systems from the powerful trade guilds, thereby setting the state for the civil war.
3. Anakin is powerful and ambitious, not a moody little bitch.
4. Padme is in love with anakin and not vice versa (this makes a lot more sense when you think about it)

And now you can all laugh at me for the being the kind of douche to right a shitty version of Star wars
this once.
Banana Hammock
This reply was last edited on 06-06-13 07:56:11 PM by Muzta.
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Reply 1 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-06-13 07:57:12 PM)
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I haven't read the whole thing yet, but,

Quote:
1. Darth Vader is Evil - Darth Vader is not a tortured teenager who made some bad decisions. In the entire course of the first three star wars he did exactly one non-evil thing, the principal of the third movie is that he has one sliver of good in him.



Isn't the point of him having one sliver of good in him, that he has one sliver of good left in him? Darth Vader is super evil but Obi Wan references that Anakin was a good man who died, and Vader was the evil creature that came out the other side in Anakin's body. But then with that final redeeming act, we kind of learn that Anakin didn't die, the good Anakin was weak and useless but was there all along, underneath all of that Vaderness.
Muzta
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Negative Association was the name of my hot tub

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Reply 2 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-06-13 08:15:40 PM)
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That's a fair point, I'm basically just trying to give Anakin a straight that my drive him towards evil in a less passive way.

I mean which makes more sense, Anakin joins the emperorer to save his lover, or Anakin joins the emperor of his own volition in his quest for power and his desire to bring order to the galaxy?
Banana Hammock
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Reply 3 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-06-13 10:04:09 PM)
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I'll read the rest and give some thoughts later. I just kinda read the first few sentences and that jumped out at me.
Ztolk
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definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 4 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 06:49:03 AM)
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"ztolk it seems like all you do is watch videos of muscular people vomiting"
-ice
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i'm nick and i'm too stupid to read so i make unnecessary posts

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Reply 5 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 08:04:30 AM)
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I'm pretty sure making darth vader even more of a cartoon character isn't really what you're going for.

Not that the movies weren't terrible. My humble opinion is that they were a terrible idea from the start and Star Wars probably should have just stayed a trilogy made by a guy that didn't have too much money and time and yes men.
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Reply 6 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 08:06:08 AM)
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But where would Lucas be if it wasn't for cashing in on a franchise long after its relevant or prudent to do so?
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Reply 7 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 09:45:21 AM)
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Ok I read the whole thing and I realized: it's been a very long time since I saw those movies. I mostly had no idea what you were talking about until this:

Quote:
Concepts I want the movie goer to leave with
1. Qui Gon and Obi Wan are not enamored with the Senate bureaucracy or the Jedi effectualness, this trait will be passed on to Anakin
2. The whole plot was masterminded by Palpatine to demonstrate the inability of the republic to protect the outlines systems from the powerful trade guilds, thereby setting the state for the civil war.
3. Anakin is powerful and ambitious, not a moody little bitch.
4. Padme is in love with anakin and not vice versa (this makes a lot more sense when you think about it)


All of these sound compelling and good to me, except 4 but only because I don't remember.

I'm probably gonna marathon the whole series from 1->6 before the new new ones come out. I'm hopeful.
Muzta
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Reply 8 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 04:43:28 PM)
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Quoted from Ztolk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgICnbC2-_Y


I don't like the Obi Wan - Padme - Anakin love triangle

Quote:
All of these sound compelling and good to me, except 4 but only because I don't remember.


I'm trying to setup a way for Anakin and Padme to have a relationship without turning him into a love sick puppy. This way they can have a brief affair and when Anakin opinion sides with the emperor Padme can realize that he never really loved her she can run off have the kids and maybe kill herself (too dark?, probably)

I'm trying to setup Anakin as a Roland Deschain/Clint Eastwood Character that isn't implicitly evil, but easy enough to imagine sliding into darkness.
Banana Hammock
Muzta
Lord of the Dance
Negative Association was the name of my hot tub

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Reply 9 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 04:43:30 PM)
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Quoted from Ztolk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgICnbC2-_Y


I don't like the Obi Wan - Padme - Anakin love triangle

Quote:
All of these sound compelling and good to me, except 4 but only because I don't remember.


I'm trying to setup a way for Anakin and Padme to have a relationship without turning him into a love sick puppy. This way they can have a brief affair and when Anakin opinion sides with the emperor Padme can realize that he never really loved her she can run off have the kids and maybe kill herself (too dark?, probably)

I'm trying to setup Anakin as a Roland Deschain/Clint Eastwood Character that isn't fundamentally evil, but easy enough to imagine sliding into darkness.
Banana Hammock
This reply was last edited on 06-07-13 07:50:03 PM by Muzta.
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Reply 10 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 05:49:15 PM)
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I could see that. Ok, that sounds good to me too. Let's do this.
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Reply 11 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-07-13 06:01:15 PM)
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Quoted from Ztolk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgICnbC2-_Y


I also had trouble following this, again because I don't remember stuff that well, but yeah that sounds like a good movie.
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Reply 12 of 12 (Originally posted on: 06-08-13 07:49:57 AM)
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I want a gunslinger movie.
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