Trash Mod
Administrator
I wish I were dead.
 i'm nick and i'm too stupid to read so i make unnecessary posts
Ballkicks: (+576 / -34)
Posts: 4464 (0.741)
Reg. Date: Oct 2004
Location: Trash
Gender: Male |
(Originally posted on: 03-15-12 11:23:59 AM)
Edit Post
| Edit History
| Send PM
| Change Title
| Reply w/Quote
| Report Post
| Ignore
| Show All Posts
So this is a spin off of Dimi's soda thread. I know a shit ton about coffee for whatever reason (I am a dork who collects random trivia about the shit I like) and figured we could have a go at a thread about it. It's not like it will ever go off the front page anyway.
A Brief History of Coffee (WARNING: May not be actual history)
Coffee comes from northern Africa. Apparently some goat herder noticed that his goats were super amped after eating the beans of a certain bush. He tried it and found he was more focused and alert. BAM! Coffee was born. Before they knew it, native tribes were sticking the berries into balls of animal fat and frying it up into some kind of caffeine infused chewing gum.
During the middle ages, Europe was in decline. Turns out storing dead bodies in your drinking water is a bad idea. The only safe stuff to drink was distilled alcohol. People were drunk all the time. Nothing got done. The Turks however were at the height of their power. Wanna know what the Turks had that the Eurpeans didn't? That's right, addholes: Coffee. The
Turks jealously hoarded coffee plants and would not let their trading partners in Europe have the plant or seeds that could create a plant. The legend goes that during the Turkish siege of Vienna, the Turkish army had brought coffee plants along to supply their troops and give them that fighting edge. The viennese sent out a secret mission and stole a coffee plant which is the source of all of Europe's coffee. They also supposedly invented Croissants in an effort to mock the Turkish flag.
Anyway, I have no clue if any of these stories are true but they are a lot of fun.
So what kind of coffee do you like? How much do you drink? Do you have a regional or blend preference? Do you like it black, with sugar or cream? What about espresso and related wankery?
Personally, I like almost all coffee and espresso based drinks. I have one major stipulation: I hate hate HATE burnt coffee which means I don't drink Starbucks all that much (LOLOLOLOL). I prefer lighter blends because they're smoother and have more ~CAFFEINE~. I like it with cream but drink it black too but never with sugar or any flavored syrup or anything. Lattes are okay but generally too milky. I do like Cappuccino a lot especially with extra shots of espresso. When I'm trying to impress someone I'll drink straight espresso if it's the afternoon like a true Italian asshole. I'm trying to switch to all black for my recent dietary changes.
Also, anybody who says they like Robusta can GTFO rigtht now and drink their canned Vietnamese jungle coffee somewhere else.
|