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(Originally posted on: 03-15-12 11:23:59 AM)
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So this is a spin off of Dimi's soda thread. I know a shit ton about coffee for whatever reason (I am a dork who collects random trivia about the shit I like) and figured we could have a go at a thread about it. It's not like it will ever go off the front page anyway.

A Brief History of Coffee (WARNING: May not be actual history)

Coffee comes from northern Africa. Apparently some goat herder noticed that his goats were super amped after eating the beans of a certain bush. He tried it and found he was more focused and alert. BAM! Coffee was born. Before they knew it, native tribes were sticking the berries into balls of animal fat and frying it up into some kind of caffeine infused chewing gum.

During the middle ages, Europe was in decline. Turns out storing dead bodies in your drinking water is a bad idea. The only safe stuff to drink was distilled alcohol. People were drunk all the time. Nothing got done. The Turks however were at the height of their power. Wanna know what the Turks had that the Eurpeans didn't? That's right, addholes: Coffee. The
Turks jealously hoarded coffee plants and would not let their trading partners in Europe have the plant or seeds that could create a plant. The legend goes that during the Turkish siege of Vienna, the Turkish army had brought coffee plants along to supply their troops and give them that fighting edge. The viennese sent out a secret mission and stole a coffee plant which is the source of all of Europe's coffee. They also supposedly invented Croissants in an effort to mock the Turkish flag.

Anyway, I have no clue if any of these stories are true but they are a lot of fun.

So what kind of coffee do you like? How much do you drink? Do you have a regional or blend preference? Do you like it black, with sugar or cream? What about espresso and related wankery?

Personally, I like almost all coffee and espresso based drinks. I have one major stipulation: I hate hate HATE burnt coffee which means I don't drink Starbucks all that much (LOLOLOLOL). I prefer lighter blends because they're smoother and have more ~CAFFEINE~. I like it with cream but drink it black too but never with sugar or any flavored syrup or anything. Lattes are okay but generally too milky. I do like Cappuccino a lot especially with extra shots of espresso. When I'm trying to impress someone I'll drink straight espresso if it's the afternoon like a true Italian asshole. I'm trying to switch to all black for my recent dietary changes.

Also, anybody who says they like Robusta can GTFO rigtht now and drink their canned Vietnamese jungle coffee somewhere else.
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Reply 1 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-15-12 11:39:19 AM)
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I drink like a bajillion cups of coffee a day. I'm terribly addicted, and get bad headaches without caffeine. It's split, with about half of it being regular drip or french press coffee, and the other half being espresso. In all cases, I drink it black. I prefer very strong blends.

This habit was not helped by the department I work for buying an expensive espresso machine for the office.

I like more complicated drinks like cappuccinos and such, but I generally only drink them occasionally, usually as a sort of after dinner desert drink. They have a much different role for me.
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Reply 2 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-15-12 03:27:33 PM)
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I love coffee. Milk and a bit of sugar, depending on the blend.
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Reply 3 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-15-12 08:12:57 PM)
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The version of the goat herder story I heard is that, frustrated that his animals kept eating it and getting antsy, he threw some into the fire to try and prevent them from eating it. Then he smelled how amazing it smelled and viola. Of course the story is almost definitely made up so it's not surprising that there are different versions floating around.

Also I think the first confirmed theft of coffee from that Arabians was by an indian who took it back to India. Then another guy got it out and took it to Brazil. Both I think have really good stories behind them.

I don't drink much coffee, only recently have I started at all. I'm now living with a Keurig single-cup machine (not mine) so I gave it a shot. Adding sugar and milk to it was utterly disgusting to me, but alone the coffee wasn't too bad. I've settled on their French Vanilla K-Cups, which doesn't seem to have any inherent sugar or anything in it. It's ok. Other times i'll drink coffee if it's around just for the hell of it or if i'm bored. Again, no sugar/cream.

Normally I drink tea in the morning, only go for coffee if i've had a huge shortage of sleep. Still I don't think it really gives me that much more of a boost but I do it anyway as a mental thing and also to change it up on occasion.
This reply was last edited on 03-18-12 01:04:15 AM by D.
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Reply 4 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-16-12 03:05:35 AM)
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I drink a lot of coffee. We have a moka pot here that I use sometimes, but usually I make drip coffee. I prefer to drink dark roasts, and I almost never put milk or sugar in it.

edit: if I get to choose bean origin I often like to order Ethiopian or Kenyan coffees because I find their kinda sour flavor very distinctive and nice, but I don't keep them at home because I couldn't drink that every day. My roommate steals a 2 kilo bag of beans from the cafe she works at every couple weeks and that basically controls what kind we get.
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Reply 5 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-16-12 05:47:51 AM)
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I sometimes like the act of drinking coffee more than I like coffee. I drink a lot of it; a lot more than I used to. I run my machine when I wake up, and then have some more mid-afternoon. On days when there's free coffee, I just go nuts.
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Reply 6 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-16-12 11:37:05 AM)
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I love coffee, but I quit it because my blood pressure is through the roof. The withdrawal headaches were a bitch. I miss you, coffee. MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS
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Reply 7 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-16-12 01:08:36 PM)
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Quoted from Zippo:
I love coffee, but I quit it because my blood pressure is through the roof. The withdrawal headaches were a bitch. I miss you, coffee. MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS


Man I hate days when I can't drink it for whatever reason. It's cranky headache central.
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Reply 8 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-19-12 10:02:26 PM)
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Caffeine pills. Because I'm lazy and cheap.
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Reply 9 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-19-12 11:11:56 PM)
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I take those, too, when coffee is not readily available.
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Reply 10 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-20-12 06:49:13 AM)
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I could never do the caffeine pills. I get really jittery from getting the caffeine all at once, as opposed to getting it over the course of the morning by sipping my coffee or tea slowly.
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Reply 11 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-20-12 09:51:19 AM)
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I don't really feel caffeine at all. I think some of it is being accustomed to it, but if I don't drink coffee I don't get headaches or anything like that. I really drink coffee because of the taste. I think I've only had that uncomfortable jittery too-much-coffee feeling once or twice in my whole life. It's nice not having to worry about drinking a coffee right before bed or something, but sometimes I wish it would work better *yawn*
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Reply 12 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-20-12 09:56:35 AM)
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I've really only had the uncomfortable jittery feeling with, like, methamphedamines. I've never taken caffeine pills though. I like coffee too much.

It kind of reminds me of how in the 50s futurists thought we would be getting all our nutrients in pill form by now. We could do that I guess but we just like eating too much to bypass the whole thing.
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Reply 13 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-23-12 12:30:31 PM)
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Just discovered: Espresso from the Caribou Coffee shop at Gate C in Denver International Airport is pretty awful.
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Reply 14 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-25-12 06:58:56 PM)
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I once drank heavily... It was a dark time. I started when I was young, wanting to emulate my grandfather. I couldn't take it straight then, so it was always mixed with milk. But that would change when I got older. I began drinking more and more, and once I got to college, it was over. I'd get up in the morning, and the first thing I'd need was my drink. I couldn't function without it...

I'm a teatotaller now. Over a year. A mint and chamomile blend sits beside me as I write this, and it's the best drink one could have.
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Reply 15 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-25-12 07:59:58 PM)
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Also: Hampton Inns in small Alabama towns serve horrible coffee.
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Reply 16 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-26-12 03:41:35 AM)
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When I was driving through the south I hypothesized a kind of inverse relationship between quality of tobacco available versus quality of coffee available.
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Reply 17 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-26-12 09:18:05 AM)
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I've been cutting back on the creamer I use and I actually like my coffee a lot better. It's like I just used cream because that's what I had always done and now I'm enjoying coffee all over again.
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Reply 18 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-26-12 09:18:44 AM)
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Quoted from loudpack masterchef:
When I was driving through the south I hypothesized a kind of inverse relationship between quality of tobacco available versus quality of coffee available.


Or the greasiness of the gravy.
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Reply 19 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-27-12 02:47:14 AM)
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OK let's talk about coffee prep methods. What do you guys do?

when I moved to Europe I started using a moka pot cuz that was what we had & I lived with Italians, and that's cool and whatever, but I recently bought a single drip cup set (just the plastic thing with the filters) and have been using that, which is what I used to use in the states. It's terribly inefficient in terms of simply how much got damn coffee you actually use per cup, but I always seem to come back to it. so tasty...
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Reply 20 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-27-12 08:00:31 AM)
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I just have a run-of-the-mill coffee machine, with conical filters. Put about 1/4 cup of grinds into it, fill the water up to "5" and let 'er rip.
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Reply 21 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-27-12 10:46:59 AM)
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Quote:
a single drip cup set (just the plastic thing with the filters)


This is probably the best way to make coffee. I used to do this every day. Now I'm so busy I use a machine or I don't get any.

I use a machine with a thermal carafe instead of a burner undernieth so I don't burn the coffee (have I mentioned I hate burnt coffee?). Do you guys grind your own or do you buy it pre ground?

I wish I could afford a Burr grinder but as it is I use pre ground coffee.
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Reply 22 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-27-12 04:21:37 PM)
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We bought a cheap grinder cuz my roommate realized that she could steal beans from the cafe there, before that we bought preground. I don't really think I'd ever buy a burr grinder. Sometimes when I want to Treat Myself I buy coffee from one of the nice roasters here and in that case I have them grind it there, because if I'm spending real money for coffee it makes sense to get a better grind.
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Reply 23 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-28-12 09:27:17 AM)
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Quoted from loudpack masterchef:
OK let's talk about coffee prep methods. What do you guys do?

when I moved to Europe I started using a moka pot cuz that was what we had & I lived with Italians, and that's cool and whatever, but I recently bought a single drip cup set (just the plastic thing with the filters) and have been using that, which is what I used to use in the states. It's terribly inefficient in terms of simply how much got damn coffee you actually use per cup, but I always seem to come back to it. so tasty...

I love my moka pot. I am not snobby about grinding my own beans; I just get the pre-ground stuff and store it in an air-tight container in the refrigerator to keep it fresh. I use (used to?) Supreme by Bustelo -- it is quite good.

For days that I work, I have my drip machine that I can set up the night before so I have fresh coffee already made when I wake up.

Ahhh, really close to caving and drinking coffee again!
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Reply 24 of 41 (Originally posted on: 03-28-12 12:01:26 PM)
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Quoted from loudpack masterchef:
We bought a cheap grinder cuz my roommate realized that she could steal beans from the cafe there, before that we bought preground. I don't really think I'd ever buy a burr grinder. Sometimes when I want to Treat Myself I buy coffee from one of the nice roasters here and in that case I have them grind it there, because if I'm spending real money for coffee it makes sense to get a better grind.


Yeah. I keep thinking about picking up a cheap grinder but really a burr grinder isn't that much more so then I put it off until I can afford a good one but of course, it's a luxury item so...
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