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(Originally posted on: 09-25-10 09:05:39 AM)
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So living with a two year old is fun. I get to watch some movies over and over and over again. I figured I'd do something a little more mentally stimulating with them and review them for your enjoyment. This is supposed to be silly so, you know, take it that way.

I'll start at the beginning:

Snow White

Snow White has problems. I'm guessing Walt was banking on the fact that it was something completely new and didn't really bother to put together a very coherent movie. I'll list out my issues here:

1. There's reading in a kids movie. What the hell? In the first scene we're treated to the old "opening book" cliche to start the movie (I'm guessing this is the movie that invented it but I'm not really willing to try and prove that). Instead of having a narrator though, we get to sit there and read a book. On a movie screen. My daughter squirms a lot at this part. I wonder why? And it's not like it's extraneous information either. You have to read this thing to get important plot information. I wonder if they planned extra scenes but ran out of time? (more on this unfortunate decision later).

2. This movie doesn't make sense So like, after reading the stuff to get important plot information, we see the result of the evil queen's jealousy: poor Snow White, with her super cool 1940s hairstyle, must scrub the bricks outside by a wishing well. At least the queen lets her sing. Suddenly a prince shows up for no reason at all and they start to sing together. This is Disney's version of character development I guess.

3. The Dwarves And here we get to a little trick Disney figured out early and still uses to this day: the cute sidekick(s). Boy they sure do spend a LOT of time establishing these characters. This might be time better spent developing the plot so I don't have to read it? Or maybe establishing characters that actually do something (like this mysterious singing prince?). NOPE! The mighty hand of marketing has spoken. We need no fewer than THREE songs involving the Dwarves. What the hell?

4. Just when things get good! We reach a very tense and actually well done Climax where Snow White finally takes a bite of the apple and then? Well then the queen dies. She gets STRUCK BY LIGHTNING! Really? Then, it gets really good. See we get to read what happens next! That's right, this movie doesn't actually do anything to release the dramatic tension its built up. It just sort of dies out here. Maybe they could have cut one of the Dwarf songs to make time for this? No... no that won't do. Gotta sell more stuffed dwarves! So then, in a scene completely divorced from the entire rest of the movie, the mysterious singing prince shows up and kisses Snow White. It's a good thing he hangs out in the forest a lot! Then they ride off to live happily ever after (I guess? He could be taking her off to murder her for all I know). This is probably the result of "Disney Thinking". Snow White's entire purpose in life seems to be to snag a rich prince.

Okay, now the good stuff:

The climax of this film is very good. The film manages to really bring a lot of tension to the scene when the Queen tries to trick Snow White into eating the apple.

On that note, the Queen is very well done in general (she's a cartoon villain but, well, this is a cartoon after all).

Finally, the art in this movie is very good but it's a Disney film and I wouldn't expect much less.
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Reply 1 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-25-10 09:25:57 AM)
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They fell in love because they're both attractive.
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Reply 2 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-25-10 09:58:04 AM)
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I'll review Pinocchio in a bit. It's easy to see why so much of it became iconic Disney. It seems to be a microcosm of Walt Disney's belief system (and his undying hatred of actors).
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Reply 3 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-25-10 10:01:32 AM)
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you should review them from different perspectives. Feminist, marxist, anarcho-whateverist, vissario
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Reply 4 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-25-10 10:08:48 AM)
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Quoted from Jack London:
I'll review Pinocchio in a bit. It's easy to see why so much of it became iconic Disney. It seems to be a microcosm of Walt Disney's belief system (and his undying hatred of actors).


and Jews.
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Reply 5 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-25-10 01:26:04 PM)
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I can't tell if Viss would love these movies or hate them.
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Reply 6 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-26-10 02:18:35 PM)
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This is more like a really bad MST3K ripoff than a review. Exposing gaping plot holes and capitalism in kids' movies isn't exactly groundbreaking or interesting.
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Reply 7 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-26-10 02:58:54 PM)
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Then don't read it? I'm just bored Jimmy, christ.
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Reply 8 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-26-10 06:29:38 PM)
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The only Disney show I really liked was Aladdin. Thinking back on it, a fair amount of brainwashing from Disney is probably a positive influence on someone's life in the long run.
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Reply 9 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-29-10 10:02:58 PM)
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yeah Aladdin was my favorite too.

keep goin nick, this is great!
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Reply 10 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-30-10 12:49:04 AM)
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Actually, fuck it, do Aladdin next.
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Reply 11 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-30-10 10:07:16 AM)
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I don't have aladdin though due to Disney's stupid marketing ploy of only releasing like one animated feature at a time and letting everything else go out of print (aka "the vault"). I could review what I remember... though that kind of defeats the purpose of this thread. I'll let you guys choose though. I can do:

Pinocchio, Sleeping Beauty or Alice in Wonderland.

I hear in early October they'll be re releasing Beauty and the Beast so I can probably do that one in a few weeks as well (or not depending on how much disposable income I have in the next few weeks)

If I was to do Ice's idea, I think Sleeping Beauty is probably the perfect movie to review as a feminist.
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Reply 12 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-30-10 10:18:30 AM)
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"Marry the guy that tries to date rape you."
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Reply 13 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-30-10 12:56:40 PM)
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you could save like 25 bucks or whatever and download them
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Reply 14 of 14 (Originally posted on: 09-30-10 01:47:12 PM)
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Quote:
"Marry the guy that tries to date rape you."


Not to give away the punch line, but the only powerful female part in the whole movie is a stone cold bitch who is "killed" by the handsome prince with his "sword"
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