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Amphytrite
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(Originally posted on: 02-28-10 08:59:14 PM)
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Disclaimer: If you guys turn this thread into yet another political piece of trolling, I'll have Dimi ban you.

My boss and the head of programming at work are interested in an idea I had to start something along the lines of a quarterlife crisis support group. It's a pretty exciting opportunity for me careerwise, and it's also exciting because it's a topic I'm really interested in.

For those of you who don't know, you can read more about the quarterlife crisis here. Basically it's something that spans those out of college who have been thrust into the real world expecting more than they received. Fyi, there are a lot of quarterlifers here at INTL. The quarterlife was brought to wider knowledge with the webseries of the same name, which details the lives of young people fresh out of school and attempting to juggle mediocre jobs with too little pay while evaluating their friendships, social lives, and greater interaction with the world.

I'm wondering if any of you would be interested in brainstorming with me. We all have things we hate about our lives and problems we've had to confront, from mortality (eg. my, Nickolati's, and Ztolk's various grandparents) to being under/unemployed (eg. vissario, Sunny, snook and myself), reevaluating friendships with friends from high school and college, and struggling to find a way to make ourselves matter in all this mess of a thing called life.

I have to come up with things typical of any meeting (a name for the group, how often to meet and what time, etc.) & I also have to come up with discussion topics. I have to present these ideas and some related materials to the head of programming and I may end up on Youtube because of all this, so I'd like for it to be good. My current discussion topics include:
Quote:
money/budgeting/taxes
first jobs
living situations
what am i DOING with my life?
school after school
the economy
cooking/eating for one
social media
local fun
reevaluating friends and family
making friends
dating & relating, etc.
relating to the younger and older crowds
dealing with parents & mortality as an adult

I'm also interested in any websites, books, blogs, music, art & photography, articles, whatever that you've come across which are related to this. A friend of mine recommended The Lemon Life which is a great resource, and I've found a few books at work outlining the finer points of terminology and whatever else. But anything you guys can suggest to me (as long as it isn't total bullshit) is going to be helpful in this case because for me it's about as much exposure to different viewpoints and lifestyles as possible.

thx guys
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Reply 1 of 29 (Originally posted on: 02-28-10 09:16:50 PM)
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Quote:
to being under/unemployed (eg. vissario, Sunny, snook and myself)


Bullcorn, that phrase is meaningless in a free-market economy because that has more to do with expectations and little to do with stark reality. You get the job you get because it is the only job you can find in a certain measure of time.

I don't have any shame in the jobs I've worked in. True, I'd probably have always liked a better job, and still do, but the fact is that what you want and what you get are two different things (as you mentioned earlier). As long as I'm making a dime and feeding myself on my own penny, I don't have to question whether or not I am at least doing things right, if perhaps not well. People getting bummed out by not seeing their fantastic dreams unfurl before them like a brochure they read in the high school guidance counselor's office are a bunch of idiots in my opinion. Welcome to motherfuckin' life, motherfuckers! Not nearly enough of the simple things work perfectly to get frustrated over the most outlandish of them all not going exactly to specifications.
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This reply was last edited on 02-28-10 09:24:36 PM by atlas sighed (at me).
Ztolk
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Reply 2 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 04:57:36 AM)
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Friends you made in highschool whose lives have gone on different paths than yours, can you still be friends with them? What if they're dumb and immature?
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Reply 3 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 05:11:17 AM)
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How about some on the opposite end?
"Holy crap, I landed a stable career with excellent benefits and I'm scared shitless this is where I'll spend the rest of my life."

"I've moved for my job, and I'm hanging around with a completely different crowd, how did I get here?"

"Am I who I wanted to be? Or am I someone else? Is that okay?"
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Reply 4 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 06:31:57 AM)
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I'm actually Entirely un-employed

interview next week though *crosses fingers*
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Reply 5 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 10:03:04 AM)
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I think some of the topics should include self-worth and confidence and such.

I'm graduating from an acting program this Spring and I don't know where I will live or work when May comes. I do not expect an easy life. It is going to hit me harder than I think it will, but I know what I want.
how is this for a quote
Amphytrite
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Reply 6 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 10:04:47 AM)
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Quoted from No Butt Stuff:
How about some on the opposite end?
"Holy crap, I landed a stable career with excellent benefits and I'm scared shitless this is where I'll spend the rest of my life."

Like it isn't the job you wanted but it's really good so you think it's the best you can do, so it's what you'll have to live with?
Quote:
"I've moved for my job, and I'm hanging around with a completely different crowd, how did I get here?"

I'm considering having a topic just about how people ended up in the area--if they've lived here forever, moved for a job, etc.--and how it's affected their lives. I especially like the part about how it's affected social relationships, though.
Quote:
"Am I who I wanted to be? Or am I someone else? Is that okay?"

Kind of an identity crisis thing? I'm not sure about this one (at least at the start) because it seems really personal and to give any sort of advice/support on it it's generally a good idea to know a person's backstory. But this might be a really good topic down the line if the group takes off.
Quoted from help i'm a giraffe:
Friends you made in high school whose lives have gone on different paths than yours, can you still be friends with them? What if they're dumb and immature?

That kind of falls into the "reevaluating family and friends" section. I know I've done a lot of that over the last few years with my high school friends, and now that it's all said and done I'm going through the same thing with my college friends. It hits a little harder when it comes to college friends because you've spent a large amount of time with them, it's more recent, etc. but it also makes a lot of sense. One of my best friends said once that in college we were all forced to become friends in order to have something resembling a support system because otherwise we had nothing, and the people who you picked to be your friends weren't necessarily organically chosen because of the perceived time crunch to be social and have that support.
Quoted from WHITE POWDER!1:
Quote:
to being under/unemployed (eg. vissario, Sunny, snook and myself)


Bullcorn, that phrase is meaningless in a free-market economy because that has more to do with expectations and little to do with stark reality. You get the job you get because it is the only job you can find in a certain measure of time.

Whatever. I like the term because in reality (not the economic world but the real world) it's something a lot of people of all ages are currently faced with. Yeah it's a fucking time crunch, everyone needs money in order to survive, and in order to put food on the table you might have to take a job that's drastically below your qualifications. Especially now with the catch-22 college grads are put in--you need a degree to get a job, but you also need 1-2 years of experience that you don't get when you're trying to graduate on time--underemployment is a realistic term in use today, whether you agree or not.
Quote:
I don't have any shame in the jobs I've worked in. True, I'd probably have always liked a better job, and still do, but the fact is that what you want and what you get are two different things (as you mentioned earlier). As long as I'm making a dime and feeding myself on my own penny, I don't have to question whether or not I am at least doing things right, if perhaps not well. People getting bummed out by not seeing their fantastic dreams unfurl before them like a brochure they read in the high school guidance counselor's office are a bunch of idiots in my opinion. Welcome to motherfuckin' life, motherfuckers! Not nearly enough of the simple things work perfectly to get frustrated over the most outlandish of them all not going exactly to specifications.

Honestly, good for you if you aren't questioning yourself. I never said this is something that everyone goes through on the whole, but certainly people in their 20s are more likely now to question parts of their life that aren't going smoothly. It doesn't have to be your job, it doesn't have to be your family, maybe it's the fact that you moved and have no friends. Maybe you're having a difficult time adjusting to living with a roommate after you lived with your parents all your life. Maybe you're a horrible cook and your health is suffering because you end up going out for fast food every night instead. Maybe you put your career/education first in order to get the perfect job everyone wants, but now you're lacking in the social skills you need to land a date.

"People being bummed by not seeing their fantastic dreams unfurl" is stereotypical and really untrue. I'm not bummed that I'm not a scene designer (which was really a pipe dream to begin with), but I am bummed that I work so hard for so little money. I'm bummed that I've seen my best friend twice in the last five years. I'm bummed that all my friends seem to have it better than I do, even if they don't. Sometimes it is the simple things like figuring out how to boil an egg or doing taxes for the first time that do get people frustrated, not the outlandish ones you think everyone is in a twist over.
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Reply 7 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 10:28:31 AM)
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Like, it's not where I expected I'd be, but do I give up the dreams of one day outdoing my parents in terms of income because I'm happy and pretty much never have to worry about losing my job due to the economy. Not necessarily the best I could do, but I'd have to go finish my bachelor's to do a whole lot better.
I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink, I get drunk, I fall down.
No problem.
Nickolati
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Reply 8 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 10:42:40 AM)
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Young people are strongly influenced by media of all sorts, especially in their teenage years. Music and film especially dictate and send across a message that an unattainable lifestyle is the norm. Couple this with the fact that 70% of all news stories are about celebrities and their retarded lives, and it becomes kinda clear why people our age are completely unsatisfied with their lives.

One day, people wake up and realize that they will never have the existence that has been spoonfed to them their entire lives. This is extremely disheartening. This in turn leads to feelings of inadequacy which opens the door for a plethora of existential crisis.

I think a great topic would be "Realistic Expectations for Life" and "Goal setting"
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This reply was last edited on 03-01-10 11:17:49 AM by Nickolati.
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Reply 9 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 11:01:10 AM)
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In my experience, a lot of people want to work in nonprofits, but are unable to because it's very difficult to find a paid position in a nonprofit, and they can't afford to work for free. So they get a job doing something else for money, and aren't really satisfied. This can also go for jobs where usually the only way to get experience is with an unpaid internship (like at an architecture or law firm).

It's definitely possible to break into those careers, but you have to keep yourself from getting complacent in the job you end up finding, especially if you're getting paid well (chimp seems to be dealing with this). One of my friends landed a job making 44k a year right out of college doing bullshit administrative assistant work for a complete bitch in a basement of an office building with no windows, and it took her a really long time to quit because she was making so much dumb that she felt dumb quitting.

So I guess a good topic would be something like, "how long is too long at a job you hate / that isn't what you want." Or more broadly, "How to achieve long term goals." where you could discuss this stuff. I have a friend who wants to get into urban planning, a very saturated field where you really need to do a lot of unpaid work before you can get a real job, and he's basically working his ass off at a restaurant for a year and saving up money so he can afford to work for free for a while.

Paying off student loans is also a huge deal for people our age and it kinda deserves its own class probably.
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Reply 10 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-01-10 11:46:45 AM)
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Social networking sites have become a placebo for several people in lieu of real interaction because of the time strain that modern life gives us. Assuming we work and sleep for 8 hours a day, that gives us 8 hours a day to work in EVERYTHING ELSE THAT WE FIND IMPORTANT IN LIFE: relationships, cooking a healthy meal, exercise, social activities, sex, family, pets, children, movies, music, hobbies, being up to date on what is going on in the world, etc... And let's face it - most of us are going at it alone.

People say that our generation has its head up it's ass. Our generation doesn't have enough hours in the day.

While we might not have time to head down to the local pub and toss a few back with the bros, it is really easy to tweet while taking a shit and post a quick "lol" on someone's Facebook status. After a few months of doing this, it can easily feel awkward drinking a beer with someone that you consider a friend.

Another good topic for these meeting would be "Time management."
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Amphytrite
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Reply 11 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-02-10 08:35:25 PM)
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Quote:
It's definitely possible to break into those careers, but you have to keep yourself from getting complacent in the job you end up finding, especially if you're getting paid well (chimp seems to be dealing with this). One of my friends landed a job making 44k a year right out of college doing bullshit administrative assistant work for a complete bitch in a basement of an office building with no windows, and it took her a really long time to quit because she was making so much dumb that she felt dumb quitting.

I notice this a lot. Even for me, after graduating college I had such a difficult time finding a job that I felt stupid quitting my minimum wage job as a housekeeper at a nursing home...because it was a job and it was a fair amount of money/benefits, but it made me miserable. A lot of my friends have pretty cushy jobs with large paychecks as accountants, state aids or law clerks, but they're all kind of miserable--they work long hours and their coworkers are jerks and they're beginning to despise what they do.
Quote:
So I guess a good topic would be something like, "how long is too long at a job you hate / that isn't what you want." Or more broadly, "How to achieve long term goals." where you could discuss this stuff. I have a friend who wants to get into urban planning, a very saturated field where you really need to do a lot of unpaid work before you can get a real job, and he's basically working his ass off at a restaurant for a year and saving up money so he can afford to work for free for a while.

Long term goals sounds like a good topic. The only problem with "how long is too long at a job you don't enjoy" is that I want to try to avoid making any topics too specific so that anyone can come and discuss their particular problems and seek solutions. But it's definitely something to bring up at least during the jobs meeting, because having a good job that you don't really want or like is something a lot of people seem to struggle with.
Quote:
Paying off student loans is also a huge deal for people our age and it kinda deserves its own class probably.

Again, the only problem is the specifics. I really like the idea of being able to talk about student loans and the options of paying them off, possibly taking on more, etc. But I don't want to cut anyone off just because they don't have student loans and wouldn't feel welcome (these people do exist, & I am incredibly lucky to be one of them), but if there's any interest in discussing it (something I'll bring up in the money/budgeting/taxes meeting) then I'll definitely try to fit it in.
Quoted from Thornicate:
Social networking sites have become a placebo for several people in lieu of real interaction because of the time strain that modern life gives us. Assuming we work and sleep for 8 hours a day, that gives us 8 hours a day to work in EVERYTHING ELSE THAT WE FIND IMPORTANT IN LIFE: relationships, cooking a healthy meal, exercise, social activities, sex, family, pets, children, movies, music, hobbies, being up to date on what is going on in the world, etc... And let's face it - most of us are going at it alone.
...While we might not have time to head down to the local pub and toss a few back with the bros, it is really easy to tweet while taking a shit and post a quick "lol" on someone's Facebook status. After a few months of doing this, it can easily feel awkward drinking a beer with someone that you consider a friend.

Well, the thing about this is that everyone stuffs the leftovers into that 8 hours, not just 20somethings. I do agree with your point that younger people might not be able to manage their time effectively enough to really make things work the way older people sometimes can. I think, though, that the problem with social media in place of physical interaction for Generation Y is the fact that we grew up with it. This is basically what we've often done, IM instead of mail, webcam instead of meeting for dinner, and texting instead of talking. Since we were raised on the technological explosion, we're far more likely to turn to it instead of the less accessible things like getting in the car, driving 10 minutes and meeting up for drinks or going for coffee. I think older generations have had an easier time continuing physical interaction because of the lack of severe reliance on social media and advanced technology.
But yeah, social media will be discussed at length at some point. & time management can probably be a good discussion topic on its own, especially since young people are juggling a lot more now than they were 20 or even 10 years ago.
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Nickolati: when i was 17, fruit loops gave me a boner
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Reply 12 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-17-10 05:39:38 PM)
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I was thinking about this, and it weirded me out.

The amount of time between the end of the third grade, which I consider the end of the first era in my life, and starting highschool, was only four years. That's the same amount of time I spent at university, but the interval when I was a kid just seems so much huger. I'm not sure why that matters, but it seems weird.
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Reply 13 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-19-10 09:18:06 AM)
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I recently heard something about that on the radio. I guess since your synapses fire at a slower rate as you age, time seems to go so much faster when you're older. Didn't hear the whole story though so I don't know who did the study and how it was conducted (plus I'm too lazy to google it).
It is company policy not to release this information.
Amphytrite
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Reply 14 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-19-10 06:18:12 PM)
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Quoted from Dr. Huxtable:
I recently heard something about that on the radio. I guess since your synapses fire at a slower rate as you age, time seems to go so much faster when you're older. Didn't hear the whole story though so I don't know who did the study and how it was conducted (plus I'm too lazy to google it).

Hmm, that's interesting. I'll have to hunt that down.
Right now, I have about seven books that I'm juggling (just on quarterlife/millennials alone) and three handwritten pages of outlines on all this. I'm now conducting some surveys with my friends to get a better grasp of exactly what this all is. The books have been very helpful but they lack a personal touch (probably because every single one is dated and doesn't take into account the current state of the economy).

Would anyone be interested in answering some questions for me? Soundbites might be used for my presentation but I'm never going to pull out names or whatever. It would be helpful!
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart

Purple: Amphy, scratch my neckfat

Nickolati: when i was 17, fruit loops gave me a boner
Nickolati
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Reply 15 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-19-10 06:22:36 PM)
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I'd answer some questions for you.
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Reply 16 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-19-10 10:02:32 PM)
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Quoted from Uncle Phil:
I'd answer some questions for you.

i'd prolly take a big shit in your toilet and then not flush it
Nickolati
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Reply 17 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-20-10 06:52:20 AM)
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I'd take your mother out to dinner and never call her back.
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Amphytrite
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Reply 18 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-20-10 05:25:59 PM)
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I'll take your mother out to dinner and become her bff after you break up with me.
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Reply 19 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-21-10 06:33:55 AM)
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Quote:
Honestly, good for you if you aren't questioning yourself. I never said this is something that everyone goes through on the whole, but certainly people in their 20s are more likely now to question parts of their life that aren't going smoothly. It doesn't have to be your job, it doesn't have to be your family, maybe it's the fact that you moved and have no friends. Maybe you're having a difficult time adjusting to living with a roommate after you lived with your parents all your life. Maybe you're a horrible cook and your health is suffering because you end up going out for fast food every night instead. Maybe you put your career/education first in order to get the perfect job everyone wants, but now you're lacking in the social skills you need to land a date.

"People being bummed by not seeing their fantastic dreams unfurl" is stereotypical and really untrue. I'm not bummed that I'm not a scene designer (which was really a pipe dream to begin with), but I am bummed that I work so hard for so little money. I'm bummed that I've seen my best friend twice in the last five years. I'm bummed that all my friends seem to have it better than I do, even if they don't. Sometimes it is the simple things like figuring out how to boil an egg or doing taxes for the first time that do get people frustrated, not the outlandish ones you think everyone is in a twist over.


Wah, wah, wah, quit bitching.

Yeah, life fucking sucks, yeah, you ain't gonna get everything you want right out of school. Who the fuck told you that or even implied to you that life would just work out easy as cake and you'd reach all the dreams you had a teenager? Ask any older folks how long it took them to get the house they wanted, the car they wanted, the life they wanted, and they will tell you they still ain't got what they wanted. But, they will show you what they did get, what kind of house they live in, what kind of car they drive, and et cetera. The key point here is that nothing in life is to be taken for granted. Not even happiness with life itself is. Some people only get the blues to sing in life and that is their lot in it.

On that same point, if a person is going to get in a twist over petty bullshit like not being able to boil an egg or live with room mates, that person is a retard.

Second, what statistic says that 20-somethings are more likely to be unstatisfied with their life than any previous generation going through their 20's?
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i didn't have the strength to get it all the way off

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Reply 20 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-21-10 10:31:38 AM)
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so no one told you life was gonna be this way
clap clap clap clap

Ztolk
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Rawr.

definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 21 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-21-10 11:44:22 AM)
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Your job's a joke you're broke your love life's DOA
"you look bigger on facebook"
-Amphy
Amphytrite
Hard for Drah

I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Reply 22 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-21-10 05:02:17 PM)
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Quoted from Archie Bunker:
Wah, wah, wah, quit bitching.

Yeah, life fucking sucks, yeah, you ain't gonna get everything you want right out of school. Who the fuck told you that or even implied to you that life would just work out easy as cake and you'd reach all the dreams you had a teenager? Ask any older folks how long it took them to get the house they wanted, the car they wanted, the life they wanted, and they will tell you they still ain't got what they wanted. But, they will show you what they did get, what kind of house they live in, what kind of car they drive, and et cetera. The key point here is that nothing in life is to be taken for granted. Not even happiness with life itself is. Some people only get the blues to sing in life and that is their lot in it.

On that same point, if a person is going to get in a twist over petty bullshit like not being able to boil an egg or live with room mates, that person is a retard.

Second, what statistic says that 20-somethings are more likely to be unstatisfied with their life than any previous generation going through their 20's?

Fuck off, vissario. I don't care if you think I'm whining because the fact is that whether you feel this way or not, there are other people out there who do and I'm just trying to help them stop feeling shitty if they do. I didn't realise you were so against being fucking happy.

e: and in response to the stupid title you gave me, when have I ever said my life sucked?
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart

Purple: Amphy, scratch my neckfat

Nickolati: when i was 17, fruit loops gave me a boner
atlas sighed (at me)
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Reply 23 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-21-10 07:52:44 PM)
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Quoted from Laura Ingalls:
Quoted from Archie Bunker:
Wah, wah, wah, quit bitching.

Yeah, life fucking sucks, yeah, you ain't gonna get everything you want right out of school. Who the fuck told you that or even implied to you that life would just work out easy as cake and you'd reach all the dreams you had a teenager? Ask any older folks how long it took them to get the house they wanted, the car they wanted, the life they wanted, and they will tell you they still ain't got what they wanted. But, they will show you what they did get, what kind of house they live in, what kind of car they drive, and et cetera. The key point here is that nothing in life is to be taken for granted. Not even happiness with life itself is. Some people only get the blues to sing in life and that is their lot in it.

On that same point, if a person is going to get in a twist over petty bullshit like not being able to boil an egg or live with room mates, that person is a retard.

Second, what statistic says that 20-somethings are more likely to be unstatisfied with their life than any previous generation going through their 20's?

Fuck off, vissario. I don't care if you think I'm whining because the fact is that whether you feel this way or not, there are other people out there who do and I'm just trying to help them stop feeling shitty if they do. I didn't realise you were so against being fucking happy.

e: and in response to the stupid title you gave me, when have I ever said my life sucked?


Stop being so fucking touchy, shit, it's a fucking internet board.

Really, you should just fucking be happy that you still can breathe instead of detailing just how crappy you think your current lot is. My life ain't going as I planned it. My buddies are looking at finishing their first four years of college later this year and early in 2011 while I'll be stuck on a fucking boat making barely above minimum wage. Think I'm crying? Fuck no. I drew the short-stick on some things and goofed decisions and those facts are just things I'll have to remember not to do.

You may think things suck, but chances are there are thousands, probably millions of other folks doing far worse than you are who started in the same position in life. Don't be such a cry baby.
A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
Amphytrite
Hard for Drah

I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Reply 24 of 29 (Originally posted on: 03-21-10 08:35:31 PM)
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You have no idea whether I'm happy or not, so stop assuming that.

And again, vissario, when have I ever said my life sucked? You ignored that question.
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart

Purple: Amphy, scratch my neckfat

Nickolati: when i was 17, fruit loops gave me a boner
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