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(Originally posted on: 07-28-09 01:44:53 PM)
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Overhear something really stupid, confusing (if it weren't for my horse..) or funny recently? I have.

At the doctor's office:
Chick: *filling out form* How do you spell Michelle?
Her boyfriend: Uh..
Chick: M..?
Her boyfriend: I think it's m-i-s-h-e-l-l.
Chick: Oh, right, duh!

I tried really hard not to laugh the entire time. Thankfully it wasn't her name. I couldn't have held myself back if the nurse had come out and called out "Michelle" and she'd gotten up.

On the bus:
(Two guys are having a conversation about schools and kids)
Man: All these dropouts, man, it's stupid 'cause education are important. You ain't going nowhere without it. That's why I'm glad I graduated.
Man 2: *nods head in agreement*
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Reply 1 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-28-09 02:30:52 PM)
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Not overheard, but that reminds of a guy in Newfoundland I was talking to. Newfoundland is a place where nobody got any education because of the fishing industry, and now the fish are gone, and the place is screwed. Anyway, this guy was from somewhere in Northern Quebec, where they have trees instead of fish.

"A lot of people say we don't have no education. But me father was always big on education. Meself I went to grade six!"
"I used the internet to get laid once. That is not a shining moment of pride for me. The worst thing? She evidently gave me chlamydia, which I evidently got cleared up."
-Wandering Idiot
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Reply 2 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-28-09 02:56:55 PM)
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I heard a girl on the bus talking about how her girlfriend fucked her so good that her pussy was swollen (made a thread in rs about it fyi)
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Reply 3 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-29-09 12:07:19 AM)
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Jokes.com
Lewis Black - College Horse
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games
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Reply 4 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-29-09 04:17:20 AM)
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Even though I can't view the video, the title confirmed my suspicions.

http://forums.interestingnonetheless.net/display.php?threadid=26369
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Reply 5 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-29-09 07:48:42 AM)
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When I was a kid, we found some old military-grade walkie-talkies that my grandpa had for some reason (I don't think either of them ever fought in a war - maybe great-grandfather?) and we discovered if you turned it on and waited at the top of the hill on our street, you could intercept cell-phone calls (this would have been 1996/1997), so we heard a variety of things.

One in particular that I wish I could remember was a little girl singing "I'm a little beaver" (the tune of I'm A Little Teapot with different words and horribly screechy) to her grandpa. We also intercepted a call from two guys referring to each other as "Duck" and "Horse" so I wonder if that was weird police codenames or something. These were grown mens' voices.

Hotels are scarily good for this, too:
"You slept with my sister?"
"Well would you prefer it was with someone you didn't know?"
(short time passes, vague yelling)
"And my cousin?"
"Baby, baby..."
"You are one sorry nigga!"
how is this for a quote
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Reply 6 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-29-09 09:32:53 AM)
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I was driving through Harvard Square with my car windows down last week, and came across four Cambridge cops talking on the corner of Mass Ave, all of them standing outside of their cruisers. I drove by them at low speed.

As I made another pass around the block, looking for my girlfriend. As I passed by the officers again at a very low speed, I heard the one closest to the street say to the other three: "Let's get drunk and race!"

I couldn't believe my ears. It was both hilarious and disturbing at the same time.


The fact that the entire Professor Gates debacle took place the next day made it even more appropriate somehow.
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Reply 7 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-29-09 11:37:45 AM)
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I recently overheard my girlfriend's roommate talking to my girlfriend about some stuff he discovered in my house. He found gay porn and decided that he needed to tell her about it because I might be gay. I slapped him and informed him that it was my cousin's - which it was. If you ever want to see a look of sheer disbelief, slap a grown man. It's fucking hilarious.
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Reply 8 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-29-09 07:30:24 PM)
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The only reason I would tell a chick that her boyfriend had gay porn that I had found searching his house, is if I thought I had a good shot at fucking her.
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Reply 9 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-29-09 08:32:56 PM)
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Quoted from Stoffel:
The only reason I would tell a chick that her boyfriend had gay porn that I had found searching his house, is if I thought I had a good shot at fucking her.
<--- Agreed

WTF amirite? Chances are were into gay porn she would already know, I doubt you date naive women.
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Reply 10 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-30-09 09:39:41 AM)
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Yeah, your girlfriend's roommate is definitely trying to fuck her.
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Reply 11 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-30-09 02:19:28 PM)
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There were these men downtown having this conversation today:
"...I'm 43, and quit crime at 42. I haven't stolen in about a year you know..."

A year, oh excellent, I am so fucking safe now motherfucker.
Despair came knocking at my door
and I let her in.
For a while.
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Reply 12 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-30-09 02:50:45 PM)
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Quoted from Trofozoito:
There were these men downtown having this conversation today:
"...I'm 43, and quit crime at 42. I haven't stolen in about a year you know..."

A year, oh excellent, I am so fucking safe now motherfucker.


Why can't I stop giggling at this?
how is this for a quote
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Reply 13 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-30-09 04:14:26 PM)
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Because the guy probably quit stealing to focus more on his cocaine operation?
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Reply 14 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-30-09 04:25:49 PM)
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Hamilton is somewhat of a grungy city, and there's a halfway house in my neighbourhood so I regularly have to interact with a series of crazy sketchbags (at least 15 that I can name) on my daily roundabouts. On my walk home from work today I passed by one of the neighbourhood's resident crazies, a fellow I call the mohawk warrior.

He is a short, stocky ~30yo caucasian that sports a short mohawk with the rest shaved bald, and a braided rattail hanging down the back. His skin is heavily sun damaged and is always seen wearing the same clothes: sweatpants, sandals, and a purple/gray/teal poncho.

So anyways he's actually the most dangerous of the bunch. Aside from the fact that he looks menacing and that he's always muttering and cussing to himself, I've seen him lose his fucking mind in spouts of violence and rage...One day I saw him lurking around two ladies sitting on a bench outside of a coffee shop, and although I didn't hear what was initially said, but mohawk warrior suddenly burst into a an absolute fit of rage and started screaming and roaring at these two innocent ladies. His curses were almost unintelligible through the growl in his scream. He walked away screaming his fucking head off with clenching his arms as if ready to pummel anybody or anything that confronted him. His face was beat red and veins were like bulging out of his neck and head. It was fucking insane.

nothing really came of it though. He stormed off in some odd direction, roaring the entire way. He's a fucking nutcase.


I've also seen him get refused at the door of the neighbourhood Tim Hortons. I can only imagine what he did to lead to his banning there.




so anyways I passed him today on my walk home again. He was kinda just lurking around in his poncho at a corner next to a middle school, not doing anything in particular except looking around. As I passed him he looks me in the eye and says "fucking cop station, bye bye". I just say "yea man" and never break my stride. he's an interesting character.

There's a few other wackos too, but mohawk warrior is definately the best one.
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Reply 15 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-30-09 05:02:07 PM)
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Mohawk warrior sounds like a guy that wanders around in Clarksville. The local Clarksville crazy, who I will dub backpack ninja, stands along the shoulder of a random busy highway and practices his own blend of kung fu and swatting at imaginary dodgeballs being hurled at him. He is in incredible shape and could probably kill anyone he wanted to with his bare hands. He was discharged from the military after desert storm, and has been vagabond ever since.
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This reply was last edited on 07-30-09 06:02:21 PM by Nickolati.
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Reply 16 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-30-09 05:54:26 PM)
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I'm totally gonna make a homeless wacko thread when I get home, holy shit I have tons of stories
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Reply 17 of 44 (Originally posted on: 07-31-09 09:55:41 AM)
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Quoted from take it sleazy:
I'm totally gonna make a homeless wacko thread when I get home, holy shit I have tons of stories


Well??

My favorite local wacko is the lady who comes into the library wearing big plastic goggles, big yellow rubber gloves and big yellow rubber boots. No matter the weather. She's constantly muttering to herself and glancing at everyone sideways. She's our very own Howard Hughes.

Then there's the crazy native lady and her black boyfriend. She's on a trust fund and he's always trying to take money from it. When they're at the library and get into an argument she flips out, goes to the bathroom, and smears shit all over the walls screaming hysterically. She's been banned for life from every library in town and two of the malls.
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Reply 18 of 44 (Originally posted on: 08-19-09 06:10:07 PM)
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Today at the library I overheard a couple of kids (8 or 9) talking about a Lord of the Rings book.

Kid1: Who's that guy on the cover?
Kid2: He looks like Dumbledore!
Kid1: Yeah they probably copied Dumbledore.
Kid2: Thats lame.

It took every ounce of self control I had not to explode into a literary rage.
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Reply 19 of 44 (Originally posted on: 08-20-09 11:59:33 AM)
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the correct term for that is nerd rage. Getting mad about LotR is definitely not considered literary at this point.
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Reply 20 of 44 (Originally posted on: 08-20-09 01:39:35 PM)
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There's a guy who rides the bus route my boyfriend drives, and he says he is a Bus Information Specialist, and is contracted through Star Trek. He says that it's ok for people to ask the bus driver questions, but if they don't answer within 15 seconds, then it's his responsibility to answer. He also says he's gonna compete in a kneeboarding competition down the streets of St. Paul (a city here in MN.) He talks to my boyfriend the entire trip, to the relief of others on the bus.
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This reply was last edited on 08-20-09 01:46:42 PM by greenidentity.
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Reply 21 of 44 (Originally posted on: 08-20-09 08:55:30 PM)
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Quoted from Nickolati:
If you ever want to see a look of sheer disbelief, slap a grown man. It's fucking hilarious.


And such a poor way to convince him you're not gay.

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Reply 22 of 44 (Originally posted on: 04-13-10 12:10:22 PM)
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Yeah I'm topping an old thread. Deal with it.

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Reply 23 of 44 (Originally posted on: 04-13-10 12:19:52 PM)
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Quoted from Dante:
I was driving through Harvard Square with my car windows down last week, and came across four Cambridge cops talking on the corner of Mass Ave, all of them standing outside of their cruisers. I drove by them at low speed.

As I made another pass around the block, looking for my girlfriend. As I passed by the officers again at a very low speed, I heard the one closest to the street say to the other three: "Let's get drunk and race!"

I couldn't believe my ears. It was both hilarious and disturbing at the same time.


The fact that the entire Professor Gates debacle took place the next day made it even more appropriate somehow.


Yeah, the Cambridge police are a bunch of fucking assclowns. As soon as you leave the Harvard's campus in west Cambridge (outside of the coverage of the Harvard police), the likelihood of getting mugged at night increases by a power of 10.
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Reply 24 of 44 (Originally posted on: 04-13-10 12:58:53 PM)
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walking down castro street to meet my friends at a bar, I notice two guys in line for the ATM talking. One of them says, "...so why are you gay?" I've passed them by this time, so I just stop and keep listening. "Blowjobs," answers the second guy, "girls don't always go down, and sometimes they don't know what I want. A dude always goes down, and he always knows what I want."

"Solid," agrees Guy 1.
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