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IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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(Originally posted on: 07-01-09 10:57:59 AM)
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For those that don't know, I work at a domestic violence shelter for women.

We have a resident that fled from her abusive husband. The relevant abuse here is that the guy had held a gun to her head, as well as her twin children, and threatened to kill them all.

He went to court, as father, demanding full custody. The resident was notified the day of that she had to be in court to defend herself, basically, and as a result did not have an attorney. Inevitably, she lost. He was granted full custody.

Today, he came and demanded his children. We had to call the police to assist with the situation. Unfortunately, he had a court order, so the officer had to do what it said.

The children were crying, shaking, and scared, and after 30 mins of talking to them, our staff and the officer couldn't calm them down. They were saying that the father had threatened them, held a gun to their head, and that he would hurt them. They had to be dragged out. They were hugging their mom, and screaming that they loved her, while being dragged out.

So, anyhow, part of the reason I'm trying to get out of the criminal justice field. It's draining.

EDIT: And to clarify something, the judge denied a continuance when requested of our resident, regarding not having an attorney.

And the cop tried to stall for like an hour, trying to figure out a way to not take the children. He was calling people, but nothing could be done.
This reply was last edited on 07-01-09 11:06:45 AM by IF0.
Bon

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Reply 1 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 11:17:30 AM)
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why didn't you do anything?
“Was der Tod der Elf einmal bedeuten wird, vermögen heute nur wenige zu ahnen — noch weniger kann ich darüber schreiben. Wir stehen mitten in einer grossen Zeitenwende. Was wir alle durchmachen sind ihre Geburtswehen. Alles scheint negativ — und einmal wird dann doch Neues and Grosses geboren werden....”
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 2 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 11:19:09 AM)
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...Like what.
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Reply 3 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 11:27:31 AM)
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Quoted from Bon:
why didn't you do anything?


What a fucking horrible troll, vissario.

Wait...

Edit: To comment on the original topic, that is pretty shitty. Does she have any evidence of his threats or anything of that nature? I'm surprised a judge would be so heartless/ignorant. Maybe you should take this to the local media.
Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that aren't real.
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Eve: Every life is sacred.
Dr. House: Come on. Talk to me. Don't quote me bumper stickers.
Eve: It's true.
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Bon

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Reply 4 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 11:39:03 AM)
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Hmmm posting a thread 'lol guys my job sux look at dis gay thing that happened to me im quittin!!1' with no real opinion on the matter is pretty retarded. Maybe if you cared about real justice and not some fake American official system of justice, you'd at least say something more than 'i want a diff job MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS'

oh right, it's none of your business. shit, forgot about that cop out
“Was der Tod der Elf einmal bedeuten wird, vermögen heute nur wenige zu ahnen — noch weniger kann ich darüber schreiben. Wir stehen mitten in einer grossen Zeitenwende. Was wir alle durchmachen sind ihre Geburtswehen. Alles scheint negativ — und einmal wird dann doch Neues and Grosses geboren werden....”
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Reply 5 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 11:40:07 AM)
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That's pretty fucked up. How can you tell someone to just turn up in court on the day? How can the fact that the kids claimed they were threatened with a gun not count for something? That would be fucking insane!
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 6 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 11:47:48 AM)
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Bon, you're obviously a fucking idiot. That's all I really have to say about that. That doesn't even make sense.

FA - Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that judge. I've often considered going to the media in situations like this, but it's technically against federal law for me, as an employee at a DV shelter, to reveal any identifying information pertaining to residents unless they sign a consent form. Since it's supposed to be an anonymous safe house, it's to protect the privacy rights of residents. Some judges suck.

Sith - Agreed. I can only assume that because she had no proof, they didn't particularly listen to her. Then he could just go in there and say that she left him and stole his children, which could be considered kidnapping, basically. It's retarded.
Bon

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Reply 7 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:02:16 PM)
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Yes it does, funny how you can't respond to a legit criticism without using insults. Why didn't you just write the post from the 3rd person, as you obviously don't give an actual shit about the matter, judging by your lack of opinion on it. poor ifo ur job is soo hard
“Was der Tod der Elf einmal bedeuten wird, vermögen heute nur wenige zu ahnen — noch weniger kann ich darüber schreiben. Wir stehen mitten in einer grossen Zeitenwende. Was wir alle durchmachen sind ihre Geburtswehen. Alles scheint negativ — und einmal wird dann doch Neues and Grosses geboren werden....”
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Reply 8 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:05:00 PM)
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Isn't this situation exactly the reason we have Public Defenders?
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Reply 9 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:05:45 PM)
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I have never dealt with family court (thank god), but any time I've had to appear in court, I've been given ample notice (at least a month, usually more).

It seems to me there's more here than meets the eye. Especially since I've seen evidence that courts typically give custody to the mother unless there are extreme factors involved. Especially in the case where abuse is suspected.
It is company policy not to release this information.
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 10 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:10:13 PM)
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Quoted from Bon:
Yes it does, funny how you can't respond to a legit criticism without using insults. Why didn't you just write the post from the 3rd person, as you obviously don't give an actual shit about the matter, judging by your lack of opinion on it. poor ifo ur job is soo hard

It's not legit criticism. It doesn't make sense.

Didn't say I was quitting. The opinion doesn't take explanation unless you can't comprehend English, which, well, it turns out you may have issues with. I live in America, therefore I have the criminal justice system, not whatever you consider "justice" that you haven't bothered defining. I didn't say I wanted another job. The criticism had no basis, wasn't legit, and was kinda weird. You gather I don't care about the situation, which you grasped out of thin air, because if it didn't bother me, I wouldn't say it bothered me. And the job itself isn't hard, the emotions of hearing an 8-year-old screaming and crying was hard.

In short, you're still a fucking idiot who's just in here to troll.
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 11 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:11:57 PM)
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Quoted from DrNick:
I have never dealt with family court (thank god), but any time I've had to appear in court, I've been given ample notice (at least a month, usually more).

It seems to me there's more here than meets the eye. Especially since I've seen evidence that courts typically give custody to the mother unless there are extreme factors involved. Especially in the case where abuse is suspected.

Oftentimes with these residents, they are a bit transient whilst fleeing from an abuser. I have no idea where she was staying for certain, but bouncing back and forth between friends doesn't really allow for her to be notified. I'm gathering that maybe the paperwork was delivered to her husband's address, where she no longer lived. And I also gather that perhaps the judge didn't believe here. I get the impression that maybe she's had some sort of issues in the past to disregard her this quickly.
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Reply 12 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:20:23 PM)
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Yeah, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I do feel bad for you though. It really sucks when you're powerless to right the wrongs that are so plainly taking place in front of you.
It is company policy not to release this information.
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Reply 13 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:42:36 PM)
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Quoted from Dimi:
Isn't this situation exactly the reason we have Public Defenders?


This is my thought as well, along with what DrNick has already said. I'm not well versed in law, but it seems to me a lot went wrong here that should have been prevented by law.

Some jobs are like that, though. My sister takes emergency calls (911 operator/dispatch) and when she's had a bad day, or had some pretty intense calls, it shows on her face for some time afterward.
how is this for a quote
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Reply 14 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 12:54:11 PM)
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your post read as follows:

"My job sucks because I witnessed something slightly traumatic and wish now to switch careers." Judging by your lack of description, I'm guessing you just stood there (or were just telling a story from some sort of 3rd omniscient position), and I was curious as to why you didn't try to do anything (are you just the janitor there or something?) and a general 'all's well that ends well' sort of air was gleaned from the post. Apparently I'm a troll for questioning someones actions in a situation.
“Was der Tod der Elf einmal bedeuten wird, vermögen heute nur wenige zu ahnen — noch weniger kann ich darüber schreiben. Wir stehen mitten in einer grossen Zeitenwende. Was wir alle durchmachen sind ihre Geburtswehen. Alles scheint negativ — und einmal wird dann doch Neues and Grosses geboren werden....”
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Reply 15 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 01:04:52 PM)
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You haven't said what you think he should have done, despite having been asked directly.
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Reply 16 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 01:19:03 PM)
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Bon, what the fuck could he have done that would have made any difference? Did you want him to kidnap the kids, move to the countryside and raise them himself? Because thats pretty much the only option he had that would have had any positive (arguably) effect for the kids.
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Reply 17 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 01:39:11 PM)
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Quoted from Bon:
your post read as follows:

"My job sucks because I witnessed something slightly traumatic and wish now to switch careers." Judging by your lack of description, I'm guessing you just stood there (or were just telling a story from some sort of 3rd omniscient position), and I was curious as to why you didn't try to do anything (are you just the janitor there or something?) and a general 'all's well that ends well' sort of air was gleaned from the post. Apparently I'm a troll for questioning someones actions in a situation.


Are you just a complete fucking moron? Re-read his post again. Then do it again after that. There were POLICE and COURT ORDERS involved. There was nothing he could do to prevent the outcome short of kidnapping or murder.
Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that aren't real.
House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people.

Dr. House: Isn't it interesting... religious behaviour is so close to being crazy that we can't tell them apart.

Eve: Abortion is murder.
Dr. House: True. It's a life and you should end it.
Eve: Every life is sacred.
Dr. House: Come on. Talk to me. Don't quote me bumper stickers.
Eve: It's true.
Dr. House: It's meaningless.
Eve: It means that every life matters to God.
Dr. House: Not to me. Not to you. Judging by the number of natural disasters, not to God either.
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 18 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 04:39:35 PM)
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To be fair, I could've taken the officer's gun from his holster and shot him.
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Reply 19 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 05:34:55 PM)
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this lack of conviction and 'get-r-done'-attude illustrates your greedy american selfishness apathy and some-suchery.

wah.

seriously though I would've of just thrown my hands in the air and went home for the day. That would definitely be too much for me to handle.
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Reply 20 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 06:39:53 PM)
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I don't understand why her husband knew where she was considering the fact that she was in an 'anonymous safe house'. You'd think a meeting point would be arranged or some crap like that. Perhaps it would have been less traumatizing for the kids that way too. Less invasive, suprising, etc.

The fact that he knew where to find her and showed up with no police around or anything really kind of freaks me out.
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IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 21 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 06:42:16 PM)
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We're the only domestic violence shelter in Springfield.. might've been a good guess. Also, when she files court papers, she has to use our address, and she had an ex parte (restraining order) against him, so he might've been wise enough to figure it out with that.

They try a lot of stuff though.. a favorite is filing missing persons reports so the police are actively looking for the missing woman.
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Reply 22 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-01-09 07:10:48 PM)
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That's not surprising, I guess. I imagine Missouri isn't big on womens' rights. Anchorage is a slightly smaller city and has at least two that I know of. Possibly more.

Although I believe domestic violence is a more prevalent problem up here unfortunately.

But yeah, even being anonymous safe houses it's frighteningly easy to track people down. Although I know that no man is ever admitted unless they're a cop or employee into the womens' shelters in Anchorage. They're highly secured and people have to be buzzed in.
Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that aren't real.
House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people.

Dr. House: Isn't it interesting... religious behaviour is so close to being crazy that we can't tell them apart.

Eve: Abortion is murder.
Dr. House: True. It's a life and you should end it.
Eve: Every life is sacred.
Dr. House: Come on. Talk to me. Don't quote me bumper stickers.
Eve: It's true.
Dr. House: It's meaningless.
Eve: It means that every life matters to God.
Dr. House: Not to me. Not to you. Judging by the number of natural disasters, not to God either.
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 23 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-02-09 05:11:57 AM)
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We're the same way with that security. Missouri's becoming better with DV - a lot of it depends on the attitude of the local police department, and the one here is pretty supportive of us. We're the largest one in the state, as well.
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Reply 24 of 28 (Originally posted on: 07-02-09 12:54:23 PM)
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Quoted from Dimi:
Isn't this situation exactly the reason we have Public Defenders?


I believe that's only for criminal charges, not civil disputes.
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