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Sunn O)))
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(Originally posted on: 05-15-09 11:47:14 AM)
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Am I at all alone in this?

I like the weather of summer. I like the feel of it. Ever since the last day of school, though, I've been increasing depressed; lonely, bored, tired, anxious. I'm unemployed, but I'm not really so much worried about that - I realize I will find a job eventually, and I'm not poor by any means. My friends are preoccupied, moved-away or traveling. I have no responsibilities, no jobs I have to do or that have deadlines. I've so far spent most of my summer in an empty house in front of this computer, looking at tasks I could be doing online, and not really wanting to do them because it involves spending gregarious amounts of wasted time doing what I'm already doing. I don't even want to play video games, I want to do stuff but not alone.

I hate this feeling. I hate checking my cell phone, hoping a job offer, a friend or even my parents will call or text it. I hate checking my instant messengers, expecting people to be on, but having nearly everyone on the list away or busy or not responding. I'm finding that I'm walking around the house, checking the mail over and over again even though I know there isn't any new mail, dwelling on how vacant it all seems.

It's probably linked to not having to be forced to do any work yet, and the climate being relatively nice most of the time. I feel like being more social then is feasible. I know for many winter brings the blues, but I'm not so sure about summer.
This reply was last edited on 05-15-09 12:03:47 PM by Sunn O))).
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Reply 1 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 01:09:22 PM)
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Then get off your ass and go do something.

Hop on a bus, go to a place you haven't been before and, woo, you've done something with your time!
A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 2 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 01:13:20 PM)
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Yes, that will indeed alleviate my depression; dropping me off in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people I don't know and who couldn't give a shit about me.
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Reply 3 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 01:21:11 PM)
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People in general are never going to give a fuck about you, about me, or about anyone else other than themselves. Find friends in far away towns that you haven't seen in a while, or find a friend in yourself and go do things that you have never done before by yourself.

I assume you have friends in real life. I assume you have acquitances that you are reasonably well with from high school or what not. See them.
A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
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Reply 4 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 04:46:24 PM)
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Vissario is right.

You are codependent and will never know real happiness until you accept this truth and realize it is the cause of your depression. Stop looking for validation in other people and learn to be happy by yourself.  I am working on this demon too. 

You need to get out more and just live. If I don't have anything planned I go to the park and get stoned. I feed ducks and fly kites. It sounds cheesy, but there is something remarkably relaxing and satisfying about watching it ride the wind.
It is what it is...
Amphytrite
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Reply 5 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 06:25:14 PM)
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I am completely in agreement with Vissario and Nick. You need to stop waiting around for someone else to invite you to do something and do something yourself. Take a daytrip, or go to the library, get a book, take it to the park and read. Honestly, sitting inside and pouting about how it's nice out but you have nothing to do isn't an excuse. It isn't hard to pick up a book and go outside, or as Nick said, buy a kite. Kite flying is actually really fun. As I keep telling my mother, who is in a somewhat similar situation, join a club. Get a hobby. Volunteer. Especially volunteer. Considering the economy, a lot of non-profit organisations are probably struggling to do things like office work and need help. & if you join a club or volunteer, you'll probably make some friends or at least acquaintances.

You can't expect someone else to get you out of your own slump. Take control of your life, Sunny.
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart

Purple: Amphy, scratch my neckfat
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Reply 6 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 07:21:30 PM)
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All that stuff sounds cheesy, but sure, I imagine it could work. Life is made interesting and fun by adventure. Adventure is doing something which involves risk. Risk is something you experience only when you do something that you have never done before in a place you have never been where it is possible that things may blow up on you at any moment and leave you at a loss.

It is scary, and it is intoxicating when you get through it by your own smarts and luck. If you want to be impressed with your own self-worth as a human being, you have to take more of these risks. This is why I recommend going to a town or a place you haven't been before. Go hiking in a strange wood with only your compass, a backpack, and a map and give yourself easily a week or two just to wander around. Talk to people you have never met, see what they are like, make a casual friendship based on only their first name, and then leave it at that and move on. Or rent a car and go on a road trip to another part of Canada. Stop often in small towns and get to know a little about them. It's useless, sure, but it is something that you can say you did.

In sum, Sunny, GO.
A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
neon

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Reply 7 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 08:00:13 PM)
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eating healthy and exercising also help when you're feeling shit. I know sometimes i won't have any sport for a week or so and i'm fairly crap at feeding myself good food, i feel really depressed about myself/life and like my friends don't have time for me blah,blah,blah. But as soon as i eat better, get out of the house and go running i feel a million times better. It also makes me want to see my friends and i start contacting them all.

I know it's not for everyone but sporting teams are such good things. They get you out of the house, sociallizing with people and exercising. I haven't played ulti for a week and already i feel like i'm going nuts.
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Reply 8 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-16-09 01:03:03 AM)
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Turn the fucking computer off and go outside.

I swear to god I start to feel ill if I'm around a computer all day, it sucks the life out of you.
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i'm nick and i'm too stupid to read so i make unnecessary posts

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Reply 9 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-16-09 08:46:31 AM)
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Yeah. Get a hobby that doesn't involve computers.
It is company policy not to release this information.
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Reply 10 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-18-09 02:09:46 PM)
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Work on INTL more



add some new features bitch
C
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Reply 11 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-18-09 04:09:42 PM)
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Road trip time.

You could come to Missouri and do stupid shit with people from this area.

Sounds like you need some friends who are close to your stage of life as well.
I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink, I get drunk, I fall down.
No problem.
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Reply 12 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-18-09 05:29:25 PM)
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Try volunteering for a place that treats people who have real problems, it might make you feel better about your own life
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Reply 13 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-18-09 09:00:46 PM)
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I keep myself busy enough, but I'm kind of in the same situation. The vast majority of my friends are out of the province, so when I have any time off, it gets pretty quiet. But even being off the computer - going for a walk, reading, working out, playing sports or whatever, it does get lonely and a little depressing when it goes on for weeks at a time.
how is this for a quote
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Reply 14 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-21-09 05:47:14 PM)
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Don't you live in Calgary? There's plenty of shit to do in Calgary in the summer time, you just got to get out there and get involved and meet new people. Use the time for physical exercise, to lift your mood, or take a class to meet people and work out.
“Was der Tod der Elf einmal bedeuten wird, vermögen heute nur wenige zu ahnen — noch weniger kann ich darüber schreiben. Wir stehen mitten in einer grossen Zeitenwende. Was wir alle durchmachen sind ihre Geburtswehen. Alles scheint negativ — und einmal wird dann doch Neues and Grosses geboren werden....”
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Reply 15 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-23-09 02:21:28 PM)
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Quoted from Bon:
Don't you live in Calgary? There's plenty of shit to do in Calgary in the summer time, you just got to get out there and get involved and meet new people. Use the time for physical exercise, to lift your mood, or take a class to meet people and work out.


No there isn't.
‹just dandy› but. again. funnel aspect. I don't want anything put in there unawares. I'm no Richard Gere.
‹Purple› If it was Sunny doing it, s/he'd be pretty rough
‹just dandy› ouch. I just involuntarily clenched.
Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 16 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-23-09 05:45:52 PM)
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I already do work out regularly. Have been for years.

I think the cause of this feeling is less about meeting people en masse - and quite frankly, I don't want to do that again (it got me nowhere, I much prefer what I have now) - but that I have little driving me at the moment.

I'm better than earlier, but that's more because I'm closer to having things done that I needed to do (find a roommate, get into school, etc.). What it comes down to, though, is that I like my days to be constantly on the move with work - go to a separate place, work, come home and relax. All I've done is "relax" lately. With being out of school and unemployed, I've drifted into a state where I really don't know what to do, given that I have few deadlines pushing me.

I'm left where - given the lack of being constantly busy - I hadn't realized how lonely, boring and lazy it can be without being busy.

It's not so much a lack of friends; I am very glad to just my friends as they are now. I just wish I was as preoccupied as they are.
This reply was last edited on 05-23-09 05:57:43 PM by Sunn O))).
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Reply 17 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-25-09 12:35:19 AM)
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Quoted from DrNick:
Yeah. Get a hobby that doesn't involve computers.


It sounds like you need a hobby or a job. Seriously.
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Reply 18 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-25-09 05:01:54 PM)
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You're in a state of anomie. Also the most likely to commit suicide. Don't do that.

Build something big. That will keep you busy. I was always lucky enough to resort to video games (RPG's in particular will keep you busy for weeks).
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Reply 19 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-25-09 06:21:43 PM)
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I don't see how building something relates to playing mindless computer games for weeks on end.
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Reply 20 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-25-09 06:59:31 PM)
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Well, you could build a large campaign in AoK and that might count.
‹just dandy› but. again. funnel aspect. I don't want anything put in there unawares. I'm no Richard Gere.
‹Purple› If it was Sunny doing it, s/he'd be pretty rough
‹just dandy› ouch. I just involuntarily clenched.
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Reply 21 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-25-09 10:22:56 PM)
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Quoted from Shine:
I already do work out regularly. Have been for years.

I think the cause of this feeling is less about meeting people en masse - and quite frankly, I don't want to do that again (it got me nowhere, I much prefer what I have now) - but that I have little driving me at the moment.

I'm better than earlier, but that's more because I'm closer to having things done that I needed to do (find a roommate, get into school, etc.). What it comes down to, though, is that I like my days to be constantly on the move with work - go to a separate place, work, come home and relax. All I've done is "relax" lately. With being out of school and unemployed, I've drifted into a state where I really don't know what to do, given that I have few deadlines pushing me.

I'm left where - given the lack of being constantly busy - I hadn't realized how lonely, boring and lazy it can be without being busy.

It's not so much a lack of friends; I am very glad to just my friends as they are now. I just wish I was as preoccupied as they are.


So life, in sum, is work, school, and relaxing?

What a bore.
A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 22 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-26-09 05:21:55 AM)
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Quoted from IF0:
You're in a state of anomie. Also the most likely to commit suicide. Don't do that.

Build something big. That will keep you busy. I was always lucky enough to resort to video games (RPG's in particular will keep you busy for weeks).

The concept of "hobbies" and "things that take up your time" didn't seem too far-fetched of a connection.
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Reply 23 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-26-09 05:58:05 AM)
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It wouldn't be if you'd actually said that. Anyway, looking for things that take up time is the wrong way to approach this problem. sunny needs to be more in touch the moment and the world around her instead of finding more artificial ways to block it out.
IF0
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Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Reply 24 of 33 (Originally posted on: 05-26-09 07:00:32 AM)
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It seemed a little extraneous to have to explain "things you can do."

I don't know that finding something to do to give yourself a purpose (even if a shallow purpose) should even be on any level of "blocking the world out." From what I've read, that's Sunny's entire problem. She has no purpose being out of school, for example. Like I said, a state of anomie - her actions don't matter and are of no consequence, because they're just going through motions and have no discernible purpose at the moment. Finding purpose and keeping yourself busy (incidentally, she complained about not being busy) gives you a goal, and you can work towards that goal (incidentally, she said she has pretty much reached the goals she needed to reach).

It's not that deep of an issue, and a lot of people experience it, especially on summer vacations from school.
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