Sunn O)))
INTL Alumni
14 year RP master
 Zan-beef
Ballkicks: (+761 / -127)
Posts: 5458 (0.788)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: Laputa
Gender: Male |
(Originally posted on: 05-15-09 11:47:14 AM)
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Am I at all alone in this?
I like the weather of summer. I like the feel of it. Ever since the last day of school, though, I've been increasing depressed; lonely, bored, tired, anxious. I'm unemployed, but I'm not really so much worried about that - I realize I will find a job eventually, and I'm not poor by any means. My friends are preoccupied, moved-away or traveling. I have no responsibilities, no jobs I have to do or that have deadlines. I've so far spent most of my summer in an empty house in front of this computer, looking at tasks I could be doing online, and not really wanting to do them because it involves spending gregarious amounts of wasted time doing what I'm already doing. I don't even want to play video games, I want to do stuff but not alone.
I hate this feeling. I hate checking my cell phone, hoping a job offer, a friend or even my parents will call or text it. I hate checking my instant messengers, expecting people to be on, but having nearly everyone on the list away or busy or not responding. I'm finding that I'm walking around the house, checking the mail over and over again even though I know there isn't any new mail, dwelling on how vacant it all seems.
It's probably linked to not having to be forced to do any work yet, and the climate being relatively nice most of the time. I feel like being more social then is feasible. I know for many winter brings the blues, but I'm not so sure about summer.
This reply was last edited on 05-15-09 12:03:47 PM by Sunn O))).
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