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Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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(Originally posted on: 03-31-09 08:49:19 PM)
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I have over 600 spam messages over the last week in my email accounts. Clearly they should have some of humorous value? How about yours?

RE: "Bacteria infections are not your trouble anymore."
Quote:
Show her how real man drills


RE: "Attenttion!"
Quote:
Him a licking. Sarah put out her hand. Sit down, sanatan
is kutastha or uniform or immutable. Munjakesa, illud, nulli
rei adsensurum esse sapientem, nihil group themselves around
these two figuresthe first appeared to me as if he wished
to read the character.


RE: "She gonna worship your hose"
Quote:
Lite your bedroom with fire once and for all!


RE: "Make your boner your pride"
Quote:
Turn your bedroom into a volcano of pleasure.


RE: "I am at internet-cafe now"
Quote:
I Love Free Things(TM)


RE: "If your reservoir is empty"
Quote:
Why being weak, when joy of bright life is near?



And ones with just titles:
RE: "Only here you can find solution to all your male troubles" - I wish.
RE: "My thoughts on sister" - ??????
RE: "Raise the bed intensity a few notches" - YES!
RE: "Let's visit land of cakes tonight" - GOD YES!
RE: "Does 6 p.m. suit you?" - Uh, not really...
RE: "Strange messages from you" - True, very true.
Ryan
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Reply 1 of 40 (Originally posted on: 03-31-09 08:53:32 PM)
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"Beth threw a boot at you"
‹just dandy› but. again. funnel aspect. I don't want anything put in there unawares. I'm no Richard Gere.
‹Purple› If it was Sunny doing it, s/he'd be pretty rough
‹just dandy› ouch. I just involuntarily clenched.
Ztolk
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Rawr.

definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 2 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-01-09 04:05:03 AM)
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Today I got one from "The Jewish Agency" and all that was inside was a street address in Jerusalem.
"I used the internet to get laid once. That is not a shining moment of pride for me. The worst thing? She evidently gave me chlamydia, which I evidently got cleared up."
-Wandering Idiot
Widukind
MARCHINTOCH SI 4 DA FAGZZZZ

M/F? No one knows

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Reply 3 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-05-09 10:38:36 PM)
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Quoted from Ztolk:
Today I got one from "The Jewish Agency" and all that was inside was a street address in Jerusalem.


Well well, it looks like someone is on the good side of the Mossad.
Spiff
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gtfo

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Reply 4 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-06-09 08:38:19 AM)
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Quoted from "marge":
"Become her master, he, whose rod can show her where heaven is."


This thread reminds me of this comic, which hasn't been updated in two years but is still pretty amusing.
D
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Reply 5 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-06-09 10:53:27 AM)
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Quoted from Spiff:
Quoted from "marge":
"Become her master, he, whose rod can show her where heaven is."


This thread reminds me of this comic, which hasn't been updated in two years but is still pretty amusing.

Some of those are hysterical, literally laughing out loud.
barticus
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LBH was here.

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Reply 6 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-06-09 02:45:56 PM)
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http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/299

i lol'd as i usually do when wizards are added where they dont belong
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
flaming arrow
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old time judge suck cock

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Reply 7 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-06-09 06:34:04 PM)
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I don't ever get any interesting spam. Just the occasional email from WOW gold-selling websites telling me about their great new deals.
Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that aren't real.
House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people.

Dr. House: Isn't it interesting... religious behaviour is so close to being crazy that we can't tell them apart.

Eve: Abortion is murder.
Dr. House: True. It's a life and you should end it.
Eve: Every life is sacred.
Dr. House: Come on. Talk to me. Don't quote me bumper stickers.
Eve: It's true.
Dr. House: It's meaningless.
Eve: It means that every life matters to God.
Dr. House: Not to me. Not to you. Judging by the number of natural disasters, not to God either.
Widukind
MARCHINTOCH SI 4 DA FAGZZZZ

M/F? No one knows

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Reply 8 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-06-09 08:48:47 PM)
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holy fuck i had forgotten about spamusement, i nearly shat myself at this one: http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/307

seriously i think i pooped a little.
Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 9 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-06-09 10:18:20 PM)
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There's still newer ones in their forum.
mmac
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3ms will rise again

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Reply 10 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-07-09 10:24:59 AM)
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Quoted from House:
I don't ever get any interesting spam. Just the occasional email from WOW gold-selling websites telling me about their great new deals.
Quit buying gold n00b
Amphytrite
Hard for Drah

I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Reply 11 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-07-09 01:42:31 PM)
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But gold is at an all time high!
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart

Purple: Amphy, scratch my neckfat
Ztolk
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Rawr.

definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 12 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-07-09 02:14:18 PM)
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I got another email from the Jewish Agency. I unsubscribed.
"I used the internet to get laid once. That is not a shining moment of pride for me. The worst thing? She evidently gave me chlamydia, which I evidently got cleared up."
-Wandering Idiot
mmac
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it's INTL, not the fucking UN - Amphy

3ms will rise again

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Reply 13 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-07-09 02:19:34 PM)
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Quoted from Ztolk:
I got another email from the Jewish Agency. I unsubscribed.
Now they know you read the email. Prepare for the onslaught.
Ztolk
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Rawr.

definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 14 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-07-09 02:24:16 PM)
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But that would be in clear violation of the CAN-SPAM act of 2003!
"I used the internet to get laid once. That is not a shining moment of pride for me. The worst thing? She evidently gave me chlamydia, which I evidently got cleared up."
-Wandering Idiot
Amphytrite
Hard for Drah

I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Reply 15 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-07-09 06:16:47 PM)
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I once received a spam header that read
Quote:
Amphytrite, you suck

Not a good way to get me to read your email.
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart

Purple: Amphy, scratch my neckfat
Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 16 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-24-09 11:22:35 PM)
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I have a new best friend:

Quote:
"Hi,
My name is Eva. I am looking for a friend to chat.
I have a picture if you want. No need to reply here as
this is not my email. Write me at : xxx@gmail.com
Eva."
atlas sighed (at me)
User is currently banned until further notice.

Reply 17 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-25-09 07:13:41 PM)
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Quoted from Jiffy:
I once received a spam header that read
Quote:
Amphytrite, you suck

Not a good way to get me to read your email.


If someone mailed something to me under "Vissario" on my main account, I would be in a panic.
A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
Amphytrite
Hard for Drah

I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Reply 18 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-25-09 08:24:41 PM)
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Well, my email is amphytrite @ gmail so it wasn't much of a stretch.
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart

Purple: Amphy, scratch my neckfat
Snook
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...

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Reply 19 of 40 (Originally posted on: 04-29-09 09:50:15 AM)
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I never get interesting spam.
Hello my name is Kristoffer Jørgensen and I am from Norweigen I come to see hot USA girls and history landmarks!!
Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 20 of 40 (Originally posted on: 05-10-09 09:42:31 AM)
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RE: "Saw you today."
Quote:
Is it a hassle for you to keep your wang up all night?


RE: "Bambi"
Quote:
Maybe you need to try it

This reply was last edited on 05-10-09 09:51:49 AM by Sunn O))).
Hoff
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Reply 21 of 40 (Originally posted on: 05-10-09 10:11:40 AM)
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Somehow some spam site has figured out how to get around my spam blocker by sending me spam from myself.

I get about ten emails a day from my own email address informing me my penis is too small. Maybe I'm trying to tell myself something.
Ryan
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Reply 22 of 40 (Originally posted on: 05-11-09 11:08:06 PM)
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Britney naked again!

Quote:
She will learn once and for all that your pork steeple is the best!


My pork steeple is the best!

We can make your man's volcano erupt like a famous Etna!

Quote:
Become her master, he, whose rod can show her where heaven is.


Target Elusive G-Spot FFor female orgasm
Quote:

Gave a deep sigh. Yes, she said, we will go home. Burning at the head of
the bed, that had been of taking flight, when some loud cries resounded
but, according to this account, timbuctoo contains puddings. A boil'd pudding.
beat the yolks of for his country with 'buts' and 'ifs' and 'ands.' each
with a bundle on his head, making their way.


This isn't spam so much as wrongly addressed email, which I get a lot of:

Quote:
Good evening Mrs Hayes,

You have an awesome soldier and an even better person/brother/father/buddy in your son Mike.

He is a good friend of mine and I hope all is well with you!!! By the way, it's his round and I don't want him to girl out on us!!!!! LOL IM SUCH A FAG!!

Sean.

Sent from my wireless handheld device / Transmis de mon appareil portable


I'm confused as to why this random person is sending his army buddy's Mum an email.
‹just dandy› but. again. funnel aspect. I don't want anything put in there unawares. I'm no Richard Gere.
‹Purple› If it was Sunny doing it, s/he'd be pretty rough
‹just dandy› ouch. I just involuntarily clenched.

This reply was last edited on 05-13-09 05:07:33 PM by Ryan.
Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 23 of 40 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 08:31:40 AM)
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RE: Stop repelling your manliness

RE: Nature gives someone better meat tool, other ones are not so lucky. Cheat the nature

RE: Dopping for your pork sword!

RE: Make it reach your knee
Quote:
Now you can see it


RE: She'll spread legs if you'll get bigger
Quote:
Doctors recommend it why not try


RE: How are you?
Quote:
When your wife is waiting for you, take the blue pill.


RE: Unlimited energy for nights
Quote:
No girl will stay without your attention, because you rod will be ready at all times


RE: Want your nether rod to stay?
Quote:
We will return you the exciting feeling of mighty staying meatstick-champion


RE: Spears like to lick it
Quote:
Calmness in your love bay: Because your rod is able to stay
atlas sighed (at me)
User is currently banned until further notice.

Reply 24 of 40 (Originally posted on: 05-15-09 10:26:55 AM)
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How is it that you get so many advertisements for male enhancement products?

Just out of curiosity, of course.
A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
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