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Reply 5 of 44 (Originally posted on: 12-04-08 07:44:24 PM)
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I was irritating as hell and suicidal. I needed help, and I needed help badly. I had been in therapy my whole life having been struck with severe mental illness which first started producing noticeable adverse effects in my life at the bizarrely early time of around 3rd grade. Around the age of 19 something changed in the chemical mechanics of my brain that I cannot really explain, but it was if suddenly everything had changed completely. I was done searching for who I was. I for the most part then understood who I was and what made me happy in life. I realized that I needed to stop trying to be "normal" or be like "everyone else." I am just not like everyone else, I am very different, but that is just fine, and people will still accept me regardless. I realized I was simply a unique individual, and that even though I still had problems, every day became an opportunity to work on those issues rather than let them hold me back.
No, I can't put my finger on exactly what happened or exactly what inspired the change, whether it was I was switched to more effective medication, or if I just simply approached life in a different way and viewed things in a better perspective, or a combination of the two. But I can tell you for sure, I've been in my own personal hell before for years at a time. If something is going to stop me from succeeding in life at this point, I would certainly hope it presents a stronger force than the devil can muster.
Obligatory "Benjee post tl;dr"
Once I was crazy in a terrible, depressing, and sad way.
Now I am just crazy in ways that are totally awesome.
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