Air Bud
Internet Superstar
Some plants even masturbate into their own vaginas in order to reproduce.
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Posts: 6785 (0.954)
Reg. Date: Sep 2001
Location: TEH INTARNET!
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Reply 3 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-02-08 09:26:38 PM)
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My mother divorced my verbally/mentally/physically abusive, racist, redneck father when I was an infant. He was granted weekend custody and we had a fairly harmonious relationship until around the age of nine when he started taking me to KKK rallies, at which point, I began distancing myself from him. My brother and him are best buds though. My brother is nearing forty years old and has a son and a daughter. My nephew is sixteen and a sophomore in high school, a jock, and has pictures of himself with his shirt off on his MySpace with a picture of a Confederate Flag saying, "I AIN'T COMIN' DOWN!" on it, despite the fact that he's not from Dixie, nor has he ever been there or related to anyone from Dixie. My niece is being overly stimulated by my brother and his wife, which I fear may alienate her more so than she already is by her friends, she's only six years old and nearly cried when I watched James and the Giant Peach with her, she loves Wizard of Oz, however, which is an infinitely more frightening movie.
I don't know anyone on my father's side of the family, so I can't say much about them, other than apparently I have an uncle who is a bigshot millionaire on the West Coast, and another uncle who has, for years, been in and out of mental institutions, prison, and rehab clinics for alcohol and drugs. My father has about thirty-seven other siblings, of which I know very minimal about. I was, however, named after my uncle, Jeffery, who died as a toddler, and to which my grandfather held my father personally responsible for, molding him into a perfect asshole. This resentment caused my father to voluntarily enlist in the Army at the age of 17 in 1968 and ship off to Vietnam, where he'd ultimately get shot, sent back to the United States, discharged, then re-enlist again, only to get shot a second time, developing a crippling heroin addiction that took him a few years to kick once back in the United States. He has two Purple Hearts. My grandfather died before I was born, I'm quite glad I never got to meet him, to be perfectly honest. He sounded like a douchebag.
I'm a lot closer with my mother's side of the family. I was probably the closest grandchild to my grandmother of the nine she had. I have two uncles, one of whom served honorably in the Navy during the Korean War and one who was dishonorably discharged from the Marines during boot camp. The latter of the two would end up becoming a royal pain in the ass and father five children. One of his daughter's had a tubal pregnancy at an early age that left her sterile and unable to conceive, her cousin recently got pregnant and she and her husband decided to adopt the child upon birth, the mother would have otherwise aborted it. A little while later, they discovered it would be twins and last week, they were stillborn. Ironically, her brother is currently in prison for nearly beating his five-month old son nearly to death and leaving him mentally retarded for the remainder of his life. He has five children, probably more, not entirely sure. My uncle's other three children are relatively normal.
My other uncle has two children, one of whom lives in California and once visited and fucked six of my brother's friends over the course of a two week visit. She raises horses, much like Amphy. His son, however, is a complete and utter loser, I don't really know much about him, other than that he went AWOL a long time ago and served some time in military prison for it, not sure where he is now, but he occasionally comes snooping around, asking for money. We don't bother letting him in anymore.
That's about it. I'm sure there's more, but writing all of that was a bit depressing, so I'm going to stop here. There's more, I'm sure, but I've probably repressed a lot of it. Aside from all of that crap above, I basically distance myself from my family. I am close to my mother, my good uncle (the Navy one), my cousin who is sterile, and was really close with my grandmother before she died. Everyone else, I usually just steer clear of as much as possible. Comparably, my mother and I are about the only "normal" people in the family, though, what is "normal"?
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