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just_dandy
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(Originally posted on: 09-02-08 08:50:32 PM)
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Well?

How many people are in it? What kind of age differences do you and your siblings have? Are you close?

Warning: This is loong

My dad had a wife whom he divorced on account of her being a crackwhore. (er. literally). They had two children, a girl and a boy. My dad got custody (this was in the 60s, so it lets you know how bad his ex was. Women *always* got custody)

Anyway, one day my dad's sister-in-law was driving his kids, herself, and her small son to visit her parents. She ran off a cliff. They all died.

My dad, grief stricken, sought consolation in the woman who'd been the nanny to his children, and she turned up pregnant. He wouldn't believe the kid was his because he and the nanny had only slept together a few times and .. frankly, the nanny was a slut.

However, after the baby was born, nanny took a picture of a birthmark on him which was identical to one my dad's daughter had had. So then he believed. She said it was too late, however, and didn't want him involved in her child's life.

So my dad goes to a cafe/bar to drown his sorrows. He saw a waitress with a pretty smile who he'd heard had two children, same age and gender as the ones he'd lost, and that she'd lost her husband in Vietnam. This ended up being a rumor and the children were actually her youngest siblings. However, it was enough to get my dad interested and they started dating and were eventually married.

They had 8 children. I'm the 7th of those. My younger brother is turning sixteen this week, and had my oldest sibling been alive, she'd be 42. All of my living siblings are male. We're close.

Oh, I forgot to mention. 7 or so years into my mother's and father's marriage, my dad got a call on Christmas day. "Hello, Dad." It was my half brother. He wanted to get in contact with his father. He spent several summers with my family, but the age difference was huge enough that I didn't meet him until he was already married, when I was 2, then again when I was 3.

About that time, he and my dad had a falling out and I hadn't seen my brother in 14 years. Then, last August, we visited and things are swell.

...

The .. end?

Jeeeeebux. Really doubt anybody will read that.
Koalas have sharp claws but they are weak. They all small and fat and they be climing trees. I hope a storm just come while theyjust chilling up in the tree thinking they is hard and they're will all just fall off. They just break they neck and shit. When they fall they claws are going to fall off and they going to be crying like some little bitches.
Amphytrite
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Reply 1 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-02-08 08:58:44 PM)
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I totally read it cause mine's going to be painfully short.

Only child. Mom and dad, whom are still together after 23 years. Two aunts and uncles, both of whom have no children. Two grandfathers who both remarried, and one grandfather and grandmother are still alive. I never talk to them. I was extremely close with my other grandfather, whom will have died four years ago this Christmas.

I have a large stepfamily consisting mostly of Georgian socialites. I see them once or twice a year. Others are in Texas, Ohio, Florida and Maine. Those I don't see nearly as often.
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This reply was last edited on 09-03-08 11:00:56 AM by Amphytrite.
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Reply 2 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-02-08 09:25:38 PM)
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I have one older brother, 5 year difference. We're tight.

My parents are married and are their only marriages.

My dad has one younger sister, three older sisters, and one older brother. One of the older sisters and the older brother live in the US and we see them at parties and Weddings. The rest live in Greece, and we see them whenever we go.

My mom has one younger brother who we see all the time. He lives nearby and see them at all the parties and holidays or if I stop by their house or if they stop by here, basically all the time. Grandparents both living and see them just as often.

My grandpa on that side has a lot of brothers and sisters, all living in Greece, but when going to Greece I see all that family a lot. Last time I went I stayed with his youngest sister (who is the same age as my mom) and her family.
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Reply 3 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-02-08 09:26:38 PM)
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My mother divorced my verbally/mentally/physically abusive, racist, redneck father when I was an infant. He was granted weekend custody and we had a fairly harmonious relationship until around the age of nine when he started taking me to KKK rallies, at which point, I began distancing myself from him. My brother and him are best buds though. My brother is nearing forty years old and has a son and a daughter. My nephew is sixteen and a sophomore in high school, a jock, and has pictures of himself with his shirt off on his MySpace with a picture of a Confederate Flag saying, "I AIN'T COMIN' DOWN!" on it, despite the fact that he's not from Dixie, nor has he ever been there or related to anyone from Dixie. My niece is being overly stimulated by my brother and his wife, which I fear may alienate her more so than she already is by her friends, she's only six years old and nearly cried when I watched James and the Giant Peach with her, she loves Wizard of Oz, however, which is an infinitely more frightening movie.

I don't know anyone on my father's side of the family, so I can't say much about them, other than apparently I have an uncle who is a bigshot millionaire on the West Coast, and another uncle who has, for years, been in and out of mental institutions, prison, and rehab clinics for alcohol and drugs. My father has about thirty-seven other siblings, of which I know very minimal about. I was, however, named after my uncle, Jeffery, who died as a toddler, and to which my grandfather held my father personally responsible for, molding him into a perfect asshole. This resentment caused my father to voluntarily enlist in the Army at the age of 17 in 1968 and ship off to Vietnam, where he'd ultimately get shot, sent back to the United States, discharged, then re-enlist again, only to get shot a second time, developing a crippling heroin addiction that took him a few years to kick once back in the United States. He has two Purple Hearts. My grandfather died before I was born, I'm quite glad I never got to meet him, to be perfectly honest. He sounded like a douchebag.

I'm a lot closer with my mother's side of the family. I was probably the closest grandchild to my grandmother of the nine she had. I have two uncles, one of whom served honorably in the Navy during the Korean War and one who was dishonorably discharged from the Marines during boot camp. The latter of the two would end up becoming a royal pain in the ass and father five children. One of his daughter's had a tubal pregnancy at an early age that left her sterile and unable to conceive, her cousin recently got pregnant and she and her husband decided to adopt the child upon birth, the mother would have otherwise aborted it. A little while later, they discovered it would be twins and last week, they were stillborn. Ironically, her brother is currently in prison for nearly beating his five-month old son nearly to death and leaving him mentally retarded for the remainder of his life. He has five children, probably more, not entirely sure. My uncle's other three children are relatively normal.

My other uncle has two children, one of whom lives in California and once visited and fucked six of my brother's friends over the course of a two week visit. She raises horses, much like Amphy. His son, however, is a complete and utter loser, I don't really know much about him, other than that he went AWOL a long time ago and served some time in military prison for it, not sure where he is now, but he occasionally comes snooping around, asking for money. We don't bother letting him in anymore.

That's about it. I'm sure there's more, but writing all of that was a bit depressing, so I'm going to stop here. There's more, I'm sure, but I've probably repressed a lot of it. Aside from all of that crap above, I basically distance myself from my family. I am close to my mother, my good uncle (the Navy one), my cousin who is sterile, and was really close with my grandmother before she died. Everyone else, I usually just steer clear of as much as possible. Comparably, my mother and I are about the only "normal" people in the family, though, what is "normal"?
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Reply 4 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-02-08 10:22:52 PM)
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I've got a relatively large family, and we have some major fucking issues. Considering no one is going to read what I write and it'd be too painful to write I'm gonna skip out on this one. If you *really* wanna know, then talk to me on some messenger program and get to know me a bit better. Danke.
Hello my name is Kristoffer Jørgensen and I am from Norweigen I come to see hot USA girls and history landmarks!!
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Reply 5 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-02-08 10:36:34 PM)
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A dad, a mom, and a sister. 7 cats

Sister is 4 years older, and doesn't live here anymore.
Lyle

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Reply 6 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 09:15:25 AM)
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my mom and dad are married and have been for 25 years or so. i have an older brother and a younger siser. both my parent's parents have been divorced and remarried, so i have four sets of grandparents. i don't even know how many aunts, uncles, or cousins i have.

i have no relationships with most of my extended family.

my family has huge fucking issues, most of which i'm really not even sure i should talk about for legal reasons.
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 7 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 09:18:57 AM)
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My gramps, who passed a couple years ago was one of 9 children.

My mom's family resides in the Philippenes of which is comprised of dosens of aunts and uncles who have even more children almost all of whom I've never met.

The only ones I talk to are my Dad and Mom (divorced), little bro (16), grandmother (dad's mom), and Dad's brother and son.

Like all families, we've got drama, but unlike most families (though like most jewish families) there's plenty of feuding going over various important and unimportant things. Therefore I make it a point to only see or talk to my immediate family who are the only ones I like.

Oh and my Dad's getting married in July '09 to a wonderful woman with her share of fucked up family that I get to add to the list of fucked up family I don't talk to.
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drahnier
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Reply 8 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 09:32:25 AM)
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Sandamnit, my father is a racist too.

Wanna be friends?
DRAHNIER
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Reply 9 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 11:02:03 AM)
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Quoted from sandamnit:
....too much information...


can you say red necque

As to myself, my family can be generally characterized as a group of crotchety, conservative, middle to upper-middle class douche bags who despise each other as much as they hate blacks, hispanics, poor people, and foreigners.

Needless to say, we all have a lot in common and it is probably only that fact which keeps fisticuffs from breaking out at family functions.
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Reply 10 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 11:05:10 AM)
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Quoted from vietsarrio:
As to myself, my family can be generally characterized as a group of crotchety, conservative, middle to upper-middle class douche bags... they hate blacks, hispanics, poor people, and foreigners.


Quote:
Needless to say, we all have a lot in common
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Reply 11 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 11:58:23 AM)
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Quoted from Dimi:
Quoted from vietsarrio:
As to myself, my family can be generally characterized as a group of crotchety, conservative, middle to upper-middle class douche bags... they hate blacks, hispanics, poor people, and foreigners.


Quote:
Needless to say, we all have a lot in common



My family members probably hate you and your family too, foreigner.
Amphytrite
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I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Reply 12 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:06:23 PM)
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Vissario makes me almost hate being middle to upper-middle class, but then I realise I don't care.
Spiff: amphytrite, the anti-tart
ba
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Captain of the Cool Kids

and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 13 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:09:20 PM)
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what's with the foreigners hating foreigners?

what happened to banding together against whitey?
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Reply 14 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:10:44 PM)
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That's the spirit!

Why care about being pretentious and making other people think that you do care about the plight of the poor in this country when you can simply retire back to your Brown-brick or country house?
ba
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Captain of the Cool Kids

and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 15 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:12:17 PM)
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i dare you to make less sense!
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Reply 16 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:16:29 PM)
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Quoted from British Agent:
i dare you to make less sense!


I was referring to Amph's post before that garbage above me interjected.
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 17 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:17:13 PM)
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oh now you use the quote feature
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Reply 18 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:19:28 PM)
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It's as though a little monkey keeps attempting to throw shit at me from atop his dung pile.
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 19 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 12:26:28 PM)
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that's what you get for going in the monkey house looking like you should be covered in feces!
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Reply 20 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 01:04:33 PM)
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I have a mom, dad, younger sister, and a dog. My mom and dad are married and it's their only marriage. There's not really anything all that interesting to say about it.
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Reply 21 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 01:16:53 PM)
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All of my family came across the Atlantic to the United States on boats; my mother's side came willingly.
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?” - Chris Rock
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i'm nick and i'm too stupid to read so i make unnecessary posts

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Reply 22 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 01:20:32 PM)
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My Dad died when I was 18 and since then my mom married a neocon christian dickhead but it's all good because I moved out a long time ago. I have two younger sisters who I'm close with though one is away at college right now.

I'm happily married and have a newborn daughter. I think that pretty much covers it.
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Reply 23 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 01:21:29 PM)
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Quoted from vietsarrio:
Quoted from Dimi:
Quoted from vietsarrio:
As to myself, my family can be generally characterized as a group of crotchety, conservative, middle to upper-middle class douche bags... they hate blacks, hispanics, poor people, and foreigners.


Quote:
Needless to say, we all have a lot in common



My family members probably hate you and your family too, foreigner.

My family members probably hate you and your family too, asshole.
This reply was last edited on 09-03-08 03:11:33 PM by D.
Ztolk
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Reply 24 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-03-08 02:14:25 PM)
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My father is a successful urologist who travels everywhere giving lectures at conferences. My mother has spent her adult life trying to find something to do for a living. Her current gig is as a psychotherapist. My dad doesn't listen to anyone but himself and my mom hates everything. My parents were married for 27 years but recently split up. They're currently in the process of sorting things out. My sister is 21 months younger than I am and has learning disabilities up the wazoo, and she's trying to sort those out before going off to college.
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