Hasty Penguin
get in the box
People are a danger to society.
there is a guy who gets it on with three girls at once and they all have amazing unibrows
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Posts: 5641 (0.94)
Reg. Date: May 2002
Location: murderbarn
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Reply 4068 of 4096 (Originally posted on: 03-08-11 11:23:43 AM)
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jd we should go to a fancy restaurant, but a fancy restaurant where the servers are also the tables and chairs, but not the food. The food is the food. Also we can only be fed by a small angled trough, one on each side of the table, and all the food is crushed into small sushi-roll-sized balls and we have to use chopsticks that are too long to feed ourselves to put the balls into the other's trough and then it rolls into our mouths to eat. And it's outside on a warm day with a mildly cool breeze and my blood sugar is low and I'm on a slow insulin drip to ensure that I won't be coming out of it any time soon.
Also vegetable eating difficulty notes:
Bell pepper - relatively easy, because you can chomp it like an apple and it has enough juice in it to keep hydration up during the eating. My average times go between 1:20 and 1:40. I think my record was 1:16 in high school?
Cucumber - not too bad if the skin is not dry. It also helps that the middle has some water. It goes down pretty easily, otherwise.
Celery - it's small and crunchy, so once it's down to small bits, you can just swallow without chewing. The main problem I have with celery is if the little strings get stuck in my teeth and I'm flicking my tongue trying to get them out, because that's mildly uncomfortable. Also, the difficulty changes depending on how many stalks you have to eat, but it's usually small enough that you can sort of put two in at a time and crunch them like edible horizontal tusks.
Carrots - baby carrots aren't too rough as long as you don't overload your mouth with them. If they're cooked, it's easy, because they get a bit mushy. Same with celery, if you can get it into small chunks and then just inhale, it's not bad. Cut and cooked carrots are pretty easy, too. Full carrots are a different story, and I haven't tried with them.
Iceberg Lettuce - the size is the only problem. You can chomp it like an apple, and take reasonably large chunks out quickly. Sometimes there are also problems with chewing the leaves, because they don't always separate the way the crunchier foods do when you chew on it.
Onion - not that bad if it's been cut into slices. Eating it apple style (peeled, of course) is possible, but more challenging. It also has water in it, so that makes it easier.
Broccoli - the trunk is tough, but the trees are easy. It would be easier if I figured out the optimal size of bite to take, but I don't really have the patience for that. Uncooked, it can also be a bit dry.
how is this for a quote
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