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mmac
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(Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:21:35 PM)
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As many of you know, I just left my old unit to come to texas. Unfortunately the unit that I've been moved to just happens to be on it's way back to Iraq. This tour would be my third combat tour.

I have been planning to attend college next fall, and looking forward to it a lot. The school cannot guarantee I'd be readmitted if I have to reapply for entry into the winter 2008 term. If I did start school in 2008, I probably wouldn't graduate with my MBA until I was 29 years old.

THAT IS WAY TOO FUCKING OLD!!!

I have Chronic Asthma already, but they think I'm still good to handle a third combat tour.

What do you guys think I could do to get out of my deployment? Please make sure it's legal.
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Reply 1 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:25:09 PM)
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I already told you, get caught in flagrante delicto with some dude!
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Reply 2 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:40:50 PM)
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Quoted from kayte:
I already told you, get caught in flagrante delicto with some dude!


Not it.
Realize that falling in love with someone is just the results of a series of generic events that can occur between you and basically anyone who meets your standards of attractiveness. It's just an emotional manifestation of a handfull of chemicals bouncing back and forth. It's not the holy grail of living, it's not your reason to exist and it's definitely not something reserved for "that one person". Accept that you are just an animal with a big brain that allows him to fret over what only amounts to a game of hormone pool. What you're feeling is not your soul dying a gurgling, ugly death, but withdrawal. All the happy chemicals that saturated your body when you were with her are kicking out cold turkey, and your body is screaming bloody murder, where are my fucking endorphins? It's just chocolate. Find a new bar.
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Reply 3 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:48:43 PM)
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Sometimes I wonder what people think they're signing up for when they enlist.
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 4 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:48:45 PM)
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You could always develop some kind of problem that limits your ability to perform your duties and get a medical discharge. That would be somewhat similar to my situation, except that I actually have 3 torn and protruding discs in my lower back, and my unit is being indecisive about sending me to a medical holding company so I can get around to going to a med board.

You could always go to work stoned and say "Hey, I'm stoned" to your section sergeant. It didn't work for me (I told my NCO while we were out walking for remedial PT).

Develop something related to PTSD or just go about horribly depressed for a few months, and voluntarily admit yourself to a few visitations with Adult Behavioral Health. That didn't work for me either, they just told me I was a drunk and sent me off to ASAP/ADAPC/DARE. When I got sent back to behavioral health they determined that I was mentally fit to turn a wrench, but not to shoot at anything, so I'm non-deployable for that reason alone.

File for a Consiencious Objector discharge. Bonus points for PTSD if you ever had to fire upon the enemy. This will add to the sympathetical perspective from command, making them think you can't handle combat stress. It'd pay to have a good depression bit worked in there as well, and sleeping troubles.

I've been trying to get out of the army ever since I got into it. They will NOT let you out in an easy fashion. I've failed every PT test I took in Korea, then a stop-loss came down for PT failures. I passed one here at Campbell only to get my promotion. I've failed tape tests for about ten months now, that hasn't gotten me out either. You're not in the proper shape to fail tape tests anyhow, nor would I suggest trying to obtain the condition.

Honestly, your best way out would be consciencious objection. You could always take up some form of non-violent religion (buddhism), but that would mean you would actually have to start building a reputation as that type of religious person, so there would be ample proof that you actually are what you say you are.

Best of luck finding a loophole to get out, but depending on what amount of time you have on your contract, I think you might be screwed. Keep in mind that if you have a letter of acceptance from a college, you can be released 90 days early with commander's approval and a 4187. If you already have a class schedule drawn up, on top of the acceptance letter, and as much proof as possible, you can look into getting a 6 month early drop, but that has to be approved by at least your batallion commander, if not Brigade.



Kayte, the Army isn't putting out as many homos these days as they used to. There was a story a while back in the Army Times about how the army is loosening regulations in the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy to allow patriotic homosexuals to serve in the armed forces. I don't know what happened with that supposed Regs change, but I think they're willing to keep a flamer these days, considering that initial enlistments are falling short of their goals on a monthly basis.


What are people thinking when they come in the military? Well, I'll tell you what I was thinking. I got no job, money, a shitty truck and live with a bunch of fucks that are going nowhere in life. I think I'll join the army! After Basic and AIT, I thought I could handle dealing with my remaining 3.5 years of service. Then I got to Korea, met some great people, but mostly just a bunch of social rejects and derelicts that like to abuse their power when put into a leadership position. When I got to Fort Campbell, I realized that my command is full of incompetent racist fucksticks (seriously, not one white person in my chain of command above squad leaders) that like to hand out Bronze Stars to all their buddies and put themselves in for them as well, but neglect the soldiers that actually work their asses off and keep the unit running. Maybe I'm just bitter because my first sergeant (a fucking E-7) spent the year in Iraq talking up the people in the PX and got a Bronze Star, while I was damn near killed by a mortar on two occasions and another time by a fucking rocket that the officers had the marvelous idea to model with and take pictures in a glass enclosure of the building that everyone was in for protection from that damn rocket round. Seriously, 40 fucking people cramped up in a hallway 10 feet from 6 officers and 2 senior NCOs holding a french UN type 25 rocket warhead.

That whole damn year, not one handshake, pat on the back, or even a "thanks", for climbing up on that roof and damn near getting killed, while all the officers manipulated the story for their award packets. Every vehicle that actually worked, every time the generator cut off in the middle of the night, every fucking time I had to crawl through a humvee that was hit with an IED two days prior and hadn't had the blood washed out of it yet, some still nice and sticky. Yeah, nothing in the lines of recognition, and a shithead with more stripes gets a BS for going shopping all year.

Fuck the goddamn army.
If my ears could talk, they would say, "Thank you, Zorak. You have enriched us both."

This reply was last edited on 03-15-06 10:05:12 PM by Wandering Idiot.
Mr Excitable
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Reply 5 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:51:26 PM)
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what every vietnam draft dodger did

CANADA!!!!!

Or just fucking shoot yourself in the foot, literally

fake PTSD
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This reply was last edited on 03-15-06 10:07:30 PM by Mr Excitable.
Mr Excitable
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Reply 6 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:54:06 PM)
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MrExcitable> mmac ...draft dodge to canada
kayte> marry me and immigrate?
mmac> that's an idea
mmac> ooh
mmac> that's a better idea ;P
MrExcitable> giggidy
MrExcitable> it could be a shame wedding
MrExcitable> INTL WEDDING
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Reply 7 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 09:57:41 PM)
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Use the method I always imagine I'll use to get out of tests: break a limb, sprain a joint, burst your spleen.
Who you know ever
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Reply 8 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 10:06:20 PM)
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How much do you value your pinky toe?
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 9 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 10:12:08 PM)
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Quoted from ice:
How much do you value your pinky toe?


I'd like to think that most people would place the same kind of value on their appendages that I do, and place a failed drug test in line to get them out before shooting their own damn foot. They'd keep you in with a missing toe, anyhow, just give you a profile and send you to physical therapy.
If my ears could talk, they would say, "Thank you, Zorak. You have enriched us both."
kayte
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Reply 10 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 11:00:20 PM)
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Quoted from Wandering Idiot:

Kayte, the Army isn't putting out as many homos these days as they used to. There was a story a while back in the Army Times about how the army is loosening regulations in the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy to allow patriotic homosexuals to serve in the armed forces. I don't know what happened with that supposed Regs change, but I think they're willing to keep a flamer these days, considering that initial enlistments are falling short of their goals on a monthly basis.


So not tolerance but mere desperation? I guess everything I know is not quite wrong...

Quoted from MrExcitable:

MrExcitable> mmac ...draft dodge to canada
kayte> marry me and immigrate?
mmac> that's an idea
mmac> ooh
mmac> that's a better idea ;P
MrExcitable> giggidy
MrExcitable> it could be a shame wedding
MrExcitable> INTL WEDDING


Ya I'm available just don't get in the way of my life.
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Reply 11 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-15-06 11:15:56 PM)
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Just bash your feet against a rock until they are lumpy and flat.


Quoted from kayte:
Ya I'm available just don't get in the way of my life.
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Reply 12 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 01:54:12 AM)
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i just love the simpsons episode where skinner is back in the army, and homer and bart think about ways of getting him out, and bart says "hit on your commanding officer", and skinner says "done and done. and i mean DONE"

Shoot off your both of your trigger fingers what am i

Anyways, if you ask your commander if you may suck on his penis, it should settle it, cause either you are thrown out because he's straight, or you suck his cock because he's a homo and he then ejects you from the army as promised
If he ignores you say that you will use every second to hit on him.......which is not only annoying, but the others will think "where there's smoke, there's FLAMES" LOL IM SUCH A FAG!!
And that's embarrasing if he's straight
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Reply 13 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 02:11:02 AM)
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MMAC, DEPLOY!!!!
STFU, biatch
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Reply 14 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 02:53:35 AM)
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Quoted from Mr Excitable:
MrExcitable> mmac ...draft dodge to canada
kayte> marry me and immigrate?
mmac> that's an idea
mmac> ooh
mmac> that's a better idea ;P
MrExcitable> giggidy
MrExcitable> it could be a shame wedding
MrExcitable> INTL WEDDING


yeah mike, just blow off a pinky toe, it wont be that bad

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Reply 15 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 08:03:58 AM)
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If you can't smoke or gay your way out, why don't you just have a nervous breakdown in the next few days.

Freak out with some sort of combat related stress, go to a doctor and claim you've been having nightmares about Iraq. Elaborate with a feeling of impending doom and your inability to complete your duties because they are so overwhelming.

YOU ARE AFRAID OF SAND.

Don't really go that far, but just get a shrink to say that you aren't really competent enough to do it.
Rather than filling it overfull, its better to stop in time.
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Reticence when the job is done, is the Way of heaven.
Mr Excitable
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Reply 16 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 08:34:37 AM)
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Paint yourself red, put on a kids firehat with flashing llight and run around screaming "I am a fire truck"
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Reply 17 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 08:40:37 AM)
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Quoted from Mr Excitable:
Paint yourself red, put on a kids firehat with flashing llight and run around screaming "I am a fire truck"


Thats just so crazy that it might work.
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Reply 18 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 09:05:48 AM)
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I don't think his intentions are to be indeterminitely sentenced to a mental institution after being discharged.
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artzilla
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Reply 19 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 09:52:41 AM)
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My God! It really pains me to see this shit. Being a viet nam vet, I can empathise. These are all very good suggestions, unfortunately, Everything on your military record will follow you through out the rest of your life. As I can attest to some of which has really haunted me. If you are not concerened that you will be labeled as a nut job, the best advice is to go with the PTSD issue. Fortunately, when you are discharged you will have V.A. Medical privileges. Most of if not all your medical needs are free. Except for dental. Thanks to the Reagan administration for cutting back on VA medical.
On the other hand, disabled vets get preferencial treatment while seeking employment. And you will also get a check each month depending on the severity of your condition. As I do! In that respect alone it paid off.
If you are really desperate, I would suggest a letter or a phone call to a congressman or senator. Ron Paul would be your best bet. Since he is sympathetic to causes such as yours.
I made these suggestions to my son, who is in the Marines. He was also transfered to another unit when he returned from his 2nd tour of Iraq. As were some others from his original unit, and they were PROMISED they would not return, and yet there he is, on his 3rd tour. He will be returning April 6th thankfully. I had suggested the PTSD thing to him, as he was already exibiting some of the signs of that like nightmares. He would wake up screaming. But he did not want to bring this to anyones attention for fear of the military record following him. His decision.
My only other advice would be to contact VVAW. They would be best able to advise you. The organization is Viet Nam Veterans Against the War. They have been doing this same thing since viet nam and were vitally instrumenatal in getting things done for viet nam vets that went to Canada.
I wish there was something more i could do, this BS has gone on long enough and I am in disagreement with this war. Anyone who has the time or inclination to do so can investigate the truth behind this war, and believe me it is NOT to Liberate the Iraquis. It is ALL about OIL.
Try this link for answers. http://www.vvaw.org/
Mind over Matter! I don't mind and it don't matter!
This reply was last edited on 03-16-06 10:04:05 AM by artzilla.
Wandering Idiot
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Surely something dumber has come up since my apparent forgetfulness for STDs and doctor visits.

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Reply 20 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 10:59:10 AM)
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Quoted from artzilla:
A Lot.


I must be terrible at paying attention, as I didn't know we had any Vietnam vets here. Out of sheer curiousity, what was your experience with the VA or a med board when it comes to disability? I realize that things have changed over time, but I'm wondering if you have any advice that might help me through my possibly pending med board in the future.

Mmac, when is your ETS date as of now?
If my ears could talk, they would say, "Thank you, Zorak. You have enriched us both."
artzilla
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Reply 21 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 06:18:33 PM)
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Quoted from Wandering Idiot:
Quoted from artzilla:
A Lot.


I must be terrible at paying attention, as I didn't know we had any Vietnam vets here. Out of sheer curiousity, what was your experience with the VA or a med board when it comes to disability? I realize that things have changed over time, but I'm wondering if you have any advice that might help me through my possibly pending med board in the future.

Mmac, when is your ETS date as of now?


Geez dude that was like 35 years ago. And yes things have changed dramatically. Actually, I was discharged with a General Under Honorable. It took me a long time to find out that I actually had rights. I applied for my V.A. disability and got the usual beaurocratic bull shit. Red fucking tape. My wife had the bright idea to call a Congressman to get involved and once he did [which was almost immediate] the red tape disappeared. Just like magic. There are two organizations of which I am aware that help vets sift through the crap. http://www.vvaw.org/ and http://www.vvawai.org/ Which ever one suits your needs the best. The only other advice is to do what my wife did and call your congressman. I am currently working on something for my son Jason who is currently serving his 3rd tour of duty in Iraq. [the war for oil] And I have been in touch with Senator John McClain. He seems VERY interested in doing what ever he can.
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Reply 22 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 07:22:06 PM)
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I'd like to add another question to this thread.

How can I get out of PLDC?
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 23 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-16-06 08:44:21 PM)
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Fail a PT test, that's how my brother got out of it. Also, they're not supposed to send you when you have less than a year on your contract, and I know you're down to around 6 months or so now, so your unit is fucking retarded.

Fail pushups. If they try to make you take another PT test, fail the same event again, and again if necassary. PLDC (WLC now) is optional, they CANNOT force you to go, and make sure you emphasize the fact that you do not wish to attend it.

Are you still getting out and going to Full Sail? I don't quite fully recall whether or not you ever said you were going to re-enlist or not.

If need be, and your unit forces you to attend PLDC/WLC, you could always fail out by forgetting something important to the classes. However, if you actually just deal with the month of re-integration brainwashing, it'll look good on any application for wherever you plan to work, being that it's a lower-echelon personnel management course, in all of it's basic essentials.
If my ears could talk, they would say, "Thank you, Zorak. You have enriched us both."

This reply was last edited on 03-16-06 08:51:11 PM by Wandering Idiot.
artzilla
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Reply 24 of 78 (Originally posted on: 03-17-06 07:56:17 AM)
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[q][from WI]it'll look good on any application for wherever you plan to work, being that it's a lower-echelon personnel management course, in all of it's basic essentials.

My point exactly. Your Military record will follow you for the rest of your life. Future employers, Colleges, get to view your military records. Unless you have a legit reason for your discharge, it causes all kinds of difficulties. WI, I do not think your back problems will cause you any major problems with in the scope of employment, unless you plan to do physical labor.

[q] I actually have 3 torn and protruding discs in my lower back, and my unit is being indecisive about sending me to a medical holding company so I can get around to going to a med board.

I will submit to you once again that if you call your Congressman and explain this situation, you will have no more problems getting into a medical holding company and more than likely get a better result from the Med Board. You should do anything it takes to improve the outcome so that when you are discharged you will not have the same problems with the VA that I had. It is pretty much a done deal once a Government Official becomes involved. What have you got to lose?
Mind over Matter! I don't mind and it don't matter!
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