Have you accepted the concept of your own death?



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drahnier
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I'm asking this because i think most people our age completely repress every thought of death and try not to even consider it, because it seems so far away and it is totally unacceptable.

I've certainly always been like that, just the idea that i could cease to exist is way too fucking terrifying to even attempt dealing with.
It nearly gives me a panic attack.
In fact, making a thread about the subject like this freaks me out so much that i almost can not do it.
So accepting it is out of the question, i've always just tried to push away every thought about it.

I can't say it has worked though, because instead i've been constantly worried and anxious over various hypochiondric fears and paranoias.
These ideas have gotten less ridiculous as i've gotten older, but i've certainly never been able to just enjoy life without constantly having some worry burdening me.
It's sort of escalated to the point where i've spent way too much (maybe most) of the past 4 years sitting alone in a room while getting drunk and obsessing over things.

Obviously something has to change, and recently i got the idea that perhaps i could lessen my anxieties and worries by attempting to accept the only thing that REALLY worries me, which is of course death.

I certainly can't accept it, but i've been trying to at least bring myself to consider the thought that i will inevitably die at some point.
Oh man, you have no idea how much resistance i just felt trying to type out that sentence, i am still fucking terrified.

I figured that if i stop repressing this, maybe all those other issues i constantly obsess over can go away.
It certainly makes everything else seem small and unimportant by comparison.
Most of those worries are rooted in my fear of death anyway, as most of them have to do with dangerous diseases.

Well anyway, the question was, do you ever even consider the idea that you will cease to exist or do you just push it way down and try to reason that "it's so far away anyway"?

And if you do consider it, how in the hell can you possibly accept a concept so outrageously fucking terrifying?
How do you live with this knowledge and still stay motivated and happy?

It is so huge it's almost unimaginable.

DRAHNIER

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I'm ok with it. It's strange when people I know die, and are no longer around, it's even hard to grasp the idea that they are gone. But with me, I don't really care.

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drahnier
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How could you not care?
Have you actually considered it more deeply, or do you just not want to?

I would assume that if you care about anything at all in life, TOTALLY CEASING TO EXIST AND VANISHING FROM THE WORLD would be one of those things.

DRAHNIER

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What's the biggest fear of death? The unknown, probably. Will I be alive? Will I see those that I loved again?

Personally, I say no; I believe it's like before you were born. But as a result, it's not unknown. I'm certain in my mind exactly what it's going to be like. For me, it's easier to come to terms with that.

Quote:
Well anyway, the question was, do you ever even consider the idea that you will cease to exist or do you just push it way down and try to reason that "it's so far away anyway"?

Thought about it, formulated my beliefs about it, accepted the concept, then moved on.

Quote:
And if you do consider it, how in the hell can you possibly accept a concept so outrageously fucking terrifying?

One reason for me, is that panicking about it isn't going to change it. However you feel about it, it's not going to change, so you might as well accept it.

Quote:
How do you live with this knowledge and still stay motivated and happy?

Probably because there's no point in remaining unhappy about it. It's going to happen, so you might as well enjoy your time here.

Kind of tricky to explain really, hope that makes some sense.

neon

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When I was little, like 7 years old i'd have these weird little freak out sessions where i'd just think about how I was going to die one day.

Then I decided I had either a brain tumour or diabetes and would die before I was 20.

Then I stopped being a retard and forgot all about dying until last week. I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling and suddenly my mind just went "oh shit, i'm going to die one day that'd really suck"

I've accepted death is a part of life. It doesn't scare me it just seems weird that when I stop living the world will continue like nothings changed. (Unless i become famous or something then people would be sad and make threads about me in forums coal

) .
But also it seems a little exciting. I mean I don't really follow a religion although christianity has always been in my face from my grandmother and my grandfather who was a minister ( killed himself so I guess he's in hell anyway). But no one knows what happens after we die. there's so many religions and so many many things it could be, there has to be something. But if there's not i'll be dead so I can't be disappointed either!

Wouldn't it kind of suck alot if it's some god almost no ones heard of and we've been majorly pissing him off for the last 2 thousand years or something MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

I'm more scared of people I love dying, I know i'd rather die if it could save them. I don't know if it's because I care about them so much i'd want them to live or i'd rather not be the one to go through the pain. Even sacrifice can have a selfish side.

edit: Also it would be crap if we didn't die. We'd stop apreciating things and everything would eventually become bland. Well I think so anyway. Who wants to live forever? I know I don't.

ALL THE COOL KIDS HANG OUT AT THE LAUNDRY MAT.

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In order to fear death you must either have no concept of an afterlife of some sort. Or if you do believe in those things you must feel that you have follied too much for it to be a pleasant outcome.

Death is one of those things that is pointless to worry about. It is coming and there is no escaping it. Part of growing up is understanding this, then forgetting it. Live like you are gonna die tommorrow everyday, and you will have no regerts.

Rather than filling it overfull, its better to stop in time.
Sharpen the blade to a point, but the edge won’t last forever.
Gold and jade may fill the house, but no one can retain them for eternity.
Boasting of wealth and virtue, brings trouble on oneself.
Reticence when the job is done, is the Way of heaven.

drahnier
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Quote:
When I was little, like 7 years old i'd have these weird little freak out sessions where i'd just think about how I was going to die one day.

I've had a few of those, and in between i would just suppress it and constantly freak out about everything else instead.

It never stopped for me.

Quote:
Wouldn't it kind of suck alot if it's some god almost no ones heard of and we've been majorly pissing him off for the last 2 thousand years or something

I have a feeling that if there IS an all-encompassing divine power, it would not be petty enough to set up a bunch of strict rules about how exactly we can worship and what we can say or do.

All that seems suspiciously human-like.

Quote:
I'm more scared of people I love dying, I know i'd rather die if it could save them. I don't know if it's because I care about them so much i'd want them to live or i'd rather not be the one to go through the pain. Even sacrifice can have a selfish side.

See people keep saying this, and it is completely fucking foreign to me.

I don't see how people can reason like that.
My one and only concern has always been myself, for as long as i can remember.

I wonder what fucked me up like this.

DRAHNIER

neon

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Quote:
Live like you are gonna die tommorrow everyday

I always thought that was a bit of a stupid thing to say. No one does that. If I was going to die tomorrow there'd be a lot of crazy dumb things i'd do because I wouldn't have to face the consequences.

Quote:
I don't see how people can reason like that.
My one and only concern has always been myself, for as long as i can remember.

Don't you have anyone you love more than anything?

ALL THE COOL KIDS HANG OUT AT THE LAUNDRY MAT.

Nickolati
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Quoted from neon:
Quote:
Live like you are gonna die tommorrow everyday

I always thought that was a bit of a stupid thing to say. No one does that. If I was going to die tomorrow there'd be a lot of crazy dumb things i'd do because I wouldn't have to face the consequences.

Quote:
I don't see how people can reason like that.
My one and only concern has always been myself, for as long as i can remember.

Don't you have anyone you love more than anything?

You say you would do a bunch of dumb shit, but if you were dying in 24 hours would you really go on a crime spree for a bunch of material shit that you would have no use for? Would you go out and kill people because they made you mad, even though you won't be around to enjoy their absence?

If so, you are a retard or have no one that you really care about.

I'd spend time with family and friends and tell them everything that I had held back.

Amphytrite
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Quoted from neon:
When I was little, like 7 years old i'd have these weird little freak out sessions where i'd just think about how I was going to die one day.

Oh man, I thought I was the only one who did that. When I was about 12ish (right after Princess Diana died) I realised that my parents were going to die someday and I spent every night of our vacation in New York crying myself to sleep. I never did it in relation to myself, though.

Haha I posted before finishing my actual post

Anyway, I've pretty much accepted that I'm going to die someday. I used to be somewhat terrified of death, but it doesn't really matter to me that I'm going to die. I don't know what happened-if I grew up, as it were, or if I just figured out on my own that it was nothing to be afraid of, but the few people I know that have died never showed fear of what comes after. Maybe they affected my feelings.

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This reply was last edited on 02-17-06 05:39:22 PM by Amphytrite.

neon

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i'd snap that shannon bitch for a start ohno u didnt, sistah!

But really, yeah sure i'd spend time with family.Who said i'd go on a crazy crime spree? I'd try and have the best day of my life. I'd spend all my savings(for university which I won't need anymore) and have fun with friends and family. This is assuming it's not everyone elses last day on earth and everyone else is doing their jobs. I'd tell the boy I like that I like him, i'd tell a few people what I really thought of them, i'd try and get as many adrenalin pumping things into one day as I can.

But doesn't that go against your saying anyway? You must not live every day like it's your last if you don't spend every day with your family telling them all the things you hold back.

ALL THE COOL KIDS HANG OUT AT THE LAUNDRY MAT.

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Quoted from Mr Pixies:
I'm ok with it. It's strange when people I know die, and are no longer around, it's even hard to grasp the idea that they are gone. But with me, I don't really care.

Right on, man. I'm going to die a happy man, whether I like it or not. To follow the old cliché, I was born with people around me smiling and me crying, and when I go I hope to have me smiling and the people around me crying.

"One time I spilled ice cream on my pants and we had to throw them out."
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Nickolati
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Quoted from neon:
i'd snap that shannon bitch for a start

But really, yeah sure i'd spend time with family.Who said i'd go on a crazy crime spree? I'd try and have the best day of my life. I'd spend all my savings(for university which I won't need anymore) and have fun with friends and family. This is assuming it's not everyone elses last day on earth and everyone else is doing their jobs. I'd tell the boy I like that I like him, i'd tell a few people what I really thought of them, i'd try and get as many adrenalin pumping things into one day as I can.

But doesn't that go against your saying anyway? You must not live every day like it's your last if you don't spend every day with your family telling them all the things you hold back.

You took that way too literally. Just saying that you should always tell people what you are thinking, because you might not have another chance to.

Angus

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I really hope there isn't any reincarnation. I don't want to go through all this crap again.

I live every day as if I'm going to die years from now; because that is probably what is going to happen.

This reply was last edited on 02-17-06 05:49:02 PM by Angus.

Amphytrite
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Quoted from Nickolati:
You took that way too literally. Just saying that you should always tell people what you are thinking, because you might not have another chance to.

Well then I'm going to start yelling at Dante way more often because it's my way of showing love for him.

Quoted from Jose Rizal:
I really hope there isn't any reincarnation. I don't want to go through all this crap again.

I completely agree. As much as I'm supposed to enjoy living, I don't want to have to deal with it for eternity. Especially not as a Christmas tree or something as depressing as that.

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If I come back as a distant moon, I'm going to get pretty lonely. And asphyxiated.

drahnier
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Quote:
Anyway, I've pretty much accepted that I'm going to die someday. I used to be somewhat terrified of death, but it doesn't really matter to me that I'm going to die. I don't know what happened-if I grew up, as it were, or if I just figured out on my own that it was nothing to be afraid of, but the few people I know that have died never showed fear of what comes after. Maybe they affected my feelings.

Well it sure seems very sound and rational when you all say that you've realized death is nothing to worry about, but what about the things you DO worry about?
Because i'm sure most of you are far from care-free and calm about everything. (Amphy and Neon sure aren't)

Compared to your death, which is like the biggest thing ever, all the other petty crap that you do worry about and get sad about are just insignificant little details.

So if the end of your entire existance is nothing to worry about, where does all that calm level-headed reasoning go when you get all upset and miserable about dramatic events in your life which are only minor nuisances by comparison?

Could it be that you're just dismissing death as some obscure event that's far away in time, rather than actually considering it more deeply?

DRAHNIER

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I don't think about death until I've gotten off recently. Sex me up first and then I can contemplate the big questions. So yea, sex is the most important since I happen to be a teenage guy.

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To me death is just another part of life.

Its just something that happens and theres nothing you can do about it. Why fret? Why think? I mean I do get into those moods were it really bothers me but most of the time I just try to live and let happen whats going on right now.

I know I won't last forever. No one does. But I do know I have a lot I would like to do, so I'm focussed on that. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, you know? Or rather...I'll fall off it...

Edit:
The reason I do get a little bothered about it at times is that I haven't done what I wanted to do yet. I don't feel I've met my potential as me.

I could get all philisophical and say I'll still exist, In memory. My awareness and ability to add to it is what death really is. Not that big a deal at all, really.

My little website i'm a serial-killer :)

Amphytrite
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Quoted from anaemic_royalty:
Quote:
me saying stuff

Well it sure seems very sound and rational when you all say that you've realized death is nothing to worry about, but what about the things you DO worry about?
Because i'm sure most of you are far from care-free and calm about everything. (Amphy and Neon sure aren't)

I actually worry about pretty much everything else. I have a really high level of anxiety, so I kinda just look at everything else and say "oh god this can't be happening can it omg wtf". I'm always stressed about something-be it my horse (yeah fuckers I worry about my pony), my grades, my parents, my friends, etc.

Quote:
Compared to your death, which is like the biggest thing ever, all the other petty crap that you do worry about and get sad about are just insignificant little details. So if the end of your entire existance is nothing to worry about, where does all that calm level-headed reasoning go when you get all upset and miserable about dramatic events in your life which are only minor nuisances by comparison?

Not really. I mean, the thought of death is, clearly, subjective. I don't consider death to be a big thing. I have more important things that are affecting me right now that are more important to me. Currently death is taking a back seat to me actually living my life.

Quote:
Could it be that you're just dismissing death as some obscure event that's far away in time, rather than actually considering it more deeply?

I've dealt with death in my own way multiple times thus far, and I've come to accept it for what it is. I'm upset when I know someone has died, but I don't need to ruminate about it because I understand that it will be what it will be.
When I was younger, I used to obsess over death. What would happen to me, how I'd die, when I'd die, who would care. I still think about that stuff-especially the final thing-but I don't want to be the kind of person who is virtually crippled by the thought of death, and I no longer am.
I feel like I should say more, but at the moment I'm having a Sunnyesque moment and I should probably stop.

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drahnier
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Quote:
I have more important things that are affecting me right now that are more important to me.

They aren't important though, they're petty little details that you put way too much significance into.

You say you can accept death because it's inevitable and worrying about it would be pointless, which like i said all sounds very rational, but then you say you get all angsty about the possibility of getting a bad math grade?
Do you see a conflict there?

I find it hard to believe that you (meaning all of you) can REALLY be so cool and un-touched by the concept of your own death if you have actually seriously pondered what it means.
Considering that you get all upset and emotional about things that clearly, if you look at them as rationally as you claim to look at death, are just tiny insignificant little details in the grand scheme of your existance.

DRAHNIER

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I sort of believe in that "death is part of life" bullshit

I mean it's something to be avoided, but not feared

I've come to the conclusion that if my death comes at a point where I am old, and feel I've lead a complete life OR it comes as a complete surprise then I'll probably be ok with it

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I'm glad that you think the way that you do, drah, but I don't think that way. I too, worry about a lot of things, my looks, ever getting a girlfriend, my future...but death, if you were talking about fearing how you were going to die, that would be something else. I don't want to be kidnapped by someone and have him/her slowly torturing me to death by slicing my head off, with, say, little razor blades. But as for me just not existing anmore, I don't understand why it bothers you so much, but that's what makes the world go 'round........

And I welcome the idea of reincarnation. I too, don't want to do all this stuff again, but it seems very likely to me that it is a possibility, plus if it's true, then I've been many people before, and I don't remember those past lives....

VAGINIAN
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Amphytrite
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Quoted from anaemic_royalty:
Quote:
I have more important things that are affecting me right now that are more important to me.

They aren't important though, they're petty little details that you put way too much significance into.

You say you can accept death because it's inevitable and worrying about it would be pointless, which like i said all sounds very rational, but then you say you get all angsty about the possibility of getting a bad math grade?
Do you see a conflict there?

It's because it's important to me. What I believe is important is going to be different from what you Nickolati kayte Angus Snowy thinks is important. I don't feel that right now death is important, and what I care/stress/worry about is gonig to take precedence over death at this time. I want to be successful in my life, which includes me worrying over what I get this semester in math class. Worrying needlessly over death doesn't always equate to being successful in life.

Quote:
I find it hard to believe that you (meaning all of you) can REALLY be so cool and un-touched by the concept of your own death if you have actually seriously pondered what it means.

The only thing I've ever figured that it means is that life is over. What does it mean to you, Drah? I bet it means something different.

Marius Portius: You're exploding in a big exploding explosion of sex and personality

drahnier
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Quote:
I too, worry about a lot of things, my looks

Why do you worry about your looks?

Seriously, you're all fucking insane.
It's the biggest tragedy you have to deal with as a human being, and you're all like "yeah i dont mind".

I really don't think people in general are all cool about it like you claim to be.
I think the majority of people our age (and older too) are completely freaked out by the concept of death, and it shows in the way they totally repress the thought of it and focus on other things instead.

I mean, who at our age actually seriously considers the possibility more than briefly?

At least i was completely certain that's how people work before making this thread.

DRAHNIER

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