Username [Register?]: | Password [Lost Password?]: Save Password?
Bottom of Page
INTL v5.0 > Discussion Forums > The "Song A Day" Thread Forum > In Reality, does anyone actually root for the good guy? > Viewing Thread
Also Here: 1 guest. Moderated by: D drahnier
Page: [ 1 2 3 4 ] [ Thread Views: 5164 | Total Posts: 87 ]
Rate This Thread: Reply to Thread | Create New Thread | Create New Poll | Convert To Poll | Subscribe To Thread
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.912)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female
(Originally posted on: 07-24-05 09:37:53 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Do you ever have those friends who are supportive and fun and sensitive and interesting? They aren't especially funny or especially smart or especially anything, but they're really nice.

Let's say you have a best friend, and she's being courted by two men, one of them being funny but a bit vulgar, the other is one of those nice people. I don't know how to explain, but I have a friend who is just incredibly nice, and he's great and everything, and seemingly really honest; as in, he'll tell you things that bother him, but in a really margerine way. He's really sweet, and asking you how you feel and how is the new job going or whatever else, and be sincerely listening to what you say, but it always occurs to me that entirely muting ones feelings seems so dishonest. He must get upset over things, and sometimes people say things to him that make him look uncomfortable, but he will never say so.

So what I'm asking is, do you know people like this? People who it's hard to hate, but in a way, hard to like.
Pluveto

Rain Man

Ballkicks: (+164 / -45)
Posts: 791 (0.117)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location:
Gender: Unspecified
Reply 1 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 09:46:37 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Sometimes I find people like that annoying, but when I evaluate the situation rationally, I almost always find it to be my problem, not theirs; for example, I might be angry that they won't validate an unnecessarily malicious comment that I feel partially guilty for saying.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.912)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female
Reply 2 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 09:54:44 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

That's true, in this case, I think the wrench in the cogs is that he has a crush on my friend Kas, and she thinks he's neat as hell, but kind of boring. And ergo she has this torn situation where she's afraid to date him and to hurt him, because she assumes that they are ill matched (which seems about right to me) but not dating him would also hurt him.

Another part of it, is that I've seen him be slightly malevolent in a funny way in a few situations, but then he'll just be regular and boring the rest of the time. Making me think, why does he hold back when it seems like he has a sense of humour hidden somewhere in there?
Alyantis
FEMALE

Ballkicks: (+89 / -25)
Posts: 1076 (0.16)
Reg. Date: Apr 2002
Location: Too close to Ein
Gender: Male
Reply 3 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 10:01:53 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Maybe he himself is bored and he doesn't have think what he has to say will interest you guys.
I Cant Skat3: Well, I may be stupid. I'll let others decide that.
greenidentity
Disco naps and liquorice Snaps.

It is time for some fine fine wine.....or box wine it's all good man

Ballkicks: (+603 / -81)
Posts: 3891 (0.582)
Reg. Date: Jun 2002
Location: Planet Seeth
Gender: Unspecified
Reply 4 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 10:07:24 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

I think everyone wants a friend or lover who is both parts passionate and opinionated and also nice and laid back. My best friend is an awful jellyfish at all times, and I catch myself being his stern English grandmother, haha. He has virtually no spine and will isten but rarely ever offers advice or speaks up about anything concerning emotions or life. He's also not good at being very reassuring. It does annoy me a lot, yea.

But regardless of all that, I really love him, even though these little things annoy me. His real value lies elsewhere, and since these small annoyances are mainly surface things, I can easily let go of them.
Frankenstein would want your lovely head.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.912)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female
Reply 5 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 10:11:44 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Quoted from Alyantis:
Maybe he himself is bored and he doesn't have think what he has to say will interest you guys.
Could be? But he does go out of his way to spend time with us. Individually, even. He's a lot of fun in scenarios where we're playing games, though. For example, there is this game Munchkin, which is played with a special set of cards. The point is to get to level 10 and it's kind of a mock-rpg. Anyway, this guy rarely does anything that will harm anyone else, even if they're about to win the game. It's odd.

Playing Frisbee or Bowling with him was great, because he's so supportive.

Quote:
His real value lies elsewhere, and since these small annoyances are mainly surface things, I can easily let go of them.
but could you see dating him?
greenidentity
Disco naps and liquorice Snaps.

It is time for some fine fine wine.....or box wine it's all good man

Ballkicks: (+603 / -81)
Posts: 3891 (0.582)
Reg. Date: Jun 2002
Location: Planet Seeth
Gender: Unspecified
Reply 6 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 10:22:42 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

No, for several reasons: 1) He is my roomate as well. 2) I am not and never have been attracted to him in any way, and for entirely different reasons than what I stated. If he were someone I was attracted to, but still had these little quirks, I would probably give dating a try, yea. If the chemistry is good and i found myself really caring about the person, something like being impassioned or weak spined or simple would not bother me at all. I've dated people like that before, some of them long term serious relationships.
Frankenstein would want your lovely head.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.912)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female
Reply 7 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 10:28:13 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

This is the same for my friend, no chemistry, but he seems so sweet and they get along well. I know either way she'll feel guilty, but it's hard for me to give her advice either way.
Dante

cocks in my mouth

Ballkicks: (+661 / -97)
Posts: 4779 (0.798)
Reg. Date: May 2004
Location: N by NW
Gender: Male
Reply 8 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 10:33:16 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Nice people don't have senses of humor.
$2
Pluveto

Rain Man

Ballkicks: (+164 / -45)
Posts: 791 (0.117)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location:
Gender: Unspecified
Reply 9 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-24-05 10:49:08 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

I disagree with the idea that humor has to be tied on at least some level to meanness.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.912)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female
Reply 10 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 12:01:12 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

I do too, though I do think that sometimes meanness is funny. In this case, the guy just seems to be too polite to point out silly funny things. He has been funny in a nice way, though, it's just so much more rare than the people who have no problem pointing out things that might make a situation awkward.
Ma-Newer
League of Super Sluts

It all became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision Iíve ever made in my entire life has been wrong.

Ballkicks: (+1024 / -49)
Posts: 2580 (0.415)
Reg. Date: Sep 2003
Location:
Gender: Male
Reply 11 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 01:08:00 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Quoted from beach:
Playing Frisbee or Bowling with him was great, because he's so supportive.
He sounds more gay than nice.

Im skeptical of people that are so nice they are liked by everyone. Seems to me that either they have no real opinion on anything, or even worse, they change their opinion according to what they think someone wants to hear.
Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.





Spiff
!!!

gtfo

Ballkicks: (+258 / -11)
Posts: 1058 (0.172)
Reg. Date: Nov 2003
Location: Panel 2
Gender: Unspecified
Reply 12 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 01:37:46 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Quoted from beach:
In Reality, does anyone actually root for the good guy?

I should damn well hope so. Why should peoples' taste in human beings be so one-sided? Not everyone will think the negative qualities of someone with no spine are worse than the negative qualities of someone who's a huge asshole to everyone. Granted, so far in this thread it does not bode well for them, but INTL's sort of its own demographic. You fucking people.this is an emo emoticon, get it??? EMO-TICON!!!

In understanding why nice guys will often refuse to act mean, I think it's important to consider the following: nice guys do not like it when people are mean to them. And why should they? They strive to be kind to everyone, but despite the fact that they're trying their hardest not to hurt anyone, there's people out there who think they're entitled to be insensitive pricks and use such faculties with glee. Nice guys are upset that such people seem to get their way while making life miserable for others. It feels unjust. Naturally, if you're so opposed to the way somebody treats others, you would be a hypocrite to act just like them. So they refuse. They resist. Because they do not want be like their tormentors, they go to the opposite extreme.

Now, I'm not saying that this is a flawless way of thinking. It is an extreme, just like those opposite them. Not being able to stand up for yourself is a problem, as is being too insecure to speak your mind (although IMO better than being so insecure your force your opinion on everybody). But, objectively, it's no better or worse than the opposite extreme. It's all a matter of your taste in people.
Snowy
INTL Premium Member

i always try to make a statement with my fashion...thats why today i wore a crop top with a pic of richard nixon captioned: growl at sweat

Ballkicks: (+899 / -313)
Posts: 5399 (0.948)
Reg. Date: Feb 2005
Location: Antipodes
Gender: Female
Reply 13 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 02:03:48 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Integrity is the most important thing, any sexy bad guy loses his appeal when you realise he has the integrity of a flea. It's very possible to be both good and bad and interesting, I dont get how anyone could carve people into such generic moulds. The only purely nice person i've encountered in the last...5 years..that I can recall anyway, he's a Pastor. I find him to be a decent, kind, gentle human being and I 'root' for him just as much as I 'root' for someone with darker tendencies who is noble of spirit. People seem to forget that humans come in more interesting varieties than just 'nice' and 'naughty'.

An averagely 'nice' person might be someone lacking in integrity because perhaps they never speak the truth in sticky situations for fear of hurting another's feelings..or rocking the boat. Just as someone who is bad might be just...boring, because they are nasty and constantly sniping and complaining.

Integrity, the strength to speak the truth or that your word might mean something and will not be broken (afterall we cannot expect a bad person to always speak the truth..but i know one who is devilishly handsome and dark, who plays with his words and sometimes lies outright, but who also would never, ever go back on his word, he would likely rather die than go back on a promise), that's what I look for in people I, err..'root' for, I dont care if they're good or bad, either aspect can be interesting and vibrant and provocative. I will not support anyone who's word is worth shit.

Everybodyís got a secret, Sonny
Something that they just canít face
Some folks spend their whole lives tryiní to keep it
They carry it with `em every step that they take
Till some day they just cut it looseó cut it loose or let it drag `em down
Where no one asks any questions, or looks too long in your face
In the darkness on the edge of town
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.912)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female
Reply 14 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 02:30:43 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Quoted from Shady Milfman:
Quoted from beach:
Playing Frisbee or Bowling with him was great, because he's so supportive.
He sounds more gay than nice.


Actually that's the main thing about him, somehow someone said in jest that he was gay, but another person believed it, and that person told my friend Kas and I, and for the first few weeks we knew him, we honestly thought he was gay. He really has a lot of aspects about him that make him seem gay, such as being sort of touchy, not in a defensive sense, but he touches people a lot. Also he has a really well maintained goatee. Anyway, after the whole mess was cleared up he joked that instead of just a "Happy Birthday" cake for my friend he would get them a "Happy Birthday; I'm not gay!" cake.

Quote:
blahblah
It's all a matter of your taste in people.

Yes. I adore him as a human being, he's a swell guy. I appreciate that he's very caring and interested in what I have to say and all that. I'm certainly not going to say that there is anything wrong with this person because he's so considerate, but the issue here is that he wants to date my friend. I'm torn between wanting him to have a girlfriend and being happy, to thinking that they aren't well suited to each other and I don't want to support something that inevitably goes badly. That being said, I don't think she's ever dated someone who has been fundamentally caring and considerate; so how does she know if chemistry won't develop... Or something. I'm also deathly afraid that she will date him and hurt him. She's not a rude person, but in relationships it just happens that way, and when faced with a decision of breaking up with someone or sparing their feelings, she'll choose the former. *shrug*

It's a delicate situation.

Quote:
I dont get how anyone could carve people into such generic moulds.

I certainly don't see it that way. I guess in a way his personality is so veiled by his politeness that I feel that he doesn't reveal a lot. Or when he does, it seems like it's in such a mechanical way, as though it's what's expected, so he says it. Like <insert childhood anecdote here to show you that I empathise with your situation> sort of stories. He's still a great guy, but I'm not throwing him into a mould, I'm questioning the one that he's in. Because everyone else is dynamic, and they're honest about it. But people who are consistantly "nice" and specifically don't rock the boat when it's clear that they're putting their own feelings on a backburner, it makes it seem like a facade. Not that the guy isn't genuinely nice and doesn't genuinely care, but I worry that if he has a problem with something that I say, that he won't come forward, when I want nothing more than to have our feelings resolved. In that sense, I'm nicer than he is, because I'll bring the issue up to allay tension between the two people involved, and as such the entire group.

I categorize him as "nice" because he's so passive and always seems balls deep in attempts at keeping everyone happy. Except himself. It is a bit worrying.
Quoted from Snowy:
I dont care if they're good or bad, either aspect can be interesting and vibrant and provocative. I will not support anyone who's word is worth shit.

I'm not trying to categorize him as a "good" person... I rarely pin people down with that. He is the stereotypical person who will care about you and be a good friend and do all of those things that good friends are expected to do... With Corey, he is well intentioned and for now that's good enough; because we don't know enough about him. Perhaps he'll cause a lot of drama in a passive-aggressive way, maybe he'll just continue to not rock the boat and be entirely passive, or maybe he'll come right out and address some issue and take us both by surprise. I would be more impressed by some of these than others, but I'm interested in how he reacts to certain circumstances, as I think my biggest fear is to offend him and to not know that I've done so.

As far as "rooting" I think the old paradigm is that the genuinely swell guy, who is considerate and attentive, seems to be the stereotypical guy that all girls want. That's Corey's personality, the kind of person who offers you tea if you have cramps, and tells you that he's so sorry that you have them. And holds doors open and offers to get the bill. Just a really nice person; but in reality, it's not really what a lot of women want. Whether they want the asshole or they want something else is entirely debatable, and same with the "nice guys finish last" thing... But in Corey's case, it's easy to want him to have great things and be a great success, and part of that is having a girlfriend. So I want him to date my friend, but I've known her for longer and it feels like giving her advice either way will leave me with a guilty conscience.
This reply was last edited on 07-25-05 02:30:42 PM by peach.
Mr Pixies
Scuba.

Ballkicks: (+490 / -96)
Posts: 2322 (0.344)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: chair.
Gender: Male
Reply 15 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 03:32:45 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

This guy friend of yours, dani, seems a lot like me. Have you ever been to his house? Anything that hints at what he's into?
Why don't you talk to him about his incredible niceness, and how it can be off-putting sometimes, and that you wish he'd be more open about himself sometimes? Maybe tell him about this girl's reluctance to date him becasue of this.
VAGINIAN

I'm entertained, but I'd rather be enlightened.



Nilbog! It's goblin spelled backwards! This is their kingdom! - Joshua


Grow the fuck up, this is the goddamn internet. - Menion
greenidentity
Disco naps and liquorice Snaps.

It is time for some fine fine wine.....or box wine it's all good man

Ballkicks: (+603 / -81)
Posts: 3891 (0.582)
Reg. Date: Jun 2002
Location: Planet Seeth
Gender: Unspecified
Reply 16 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 03:50:21 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

I agree with Pixies. Honesty is pretty much always good in these situations. Anything else just makes it more complicated.
Frankenstein would want your lovely head.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.912)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female
Reply 17 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 03:59:57 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

He is open about himself, it just seems like he's veiled because he doesn't show any anger, or any emotion other than being positive. And when he does, he quickly follows it up with a smile. Actually him and I have a lot in common, though that's probably hard for forumers to see.
Anyway I suppose I could talk to him about it. I know he likes Kas but it will be tough to think of a way to word it without saying something to the effect of "if you change this about yourself, my friend might date you."
Quoted from Kat:
Honesty is pretty much always good in these situations. Anything else just makes it more complicated.

Easy to say, because it's one of those chichey type of things, but I think inevitably it will get more complicated, and honesty doesn't always make things easier, but it makes it easier to live with the situation afterwards, if you know that you were forthcoming and gave it a college try.

Haven't been to his house, he's actually moving from a small place into a half-duplex thing where he just bought it. So... a lot of the stuff I think will be packed up pretty quickly. He has good taste in movies, that is to say, we have similar taste in movies. He likes Family Guy and he bought over The Big Lebowski for us to watch, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and a number of other cool movies. Some I'd seen and enjoyed, others I hadn't seen. Also a season of 24, which he threatens to "get me into" so I don't know about that.

Interests other than that, well he's a bit nerdy, likes board games as much as Kas or I do, he works at a newspaper doing IT support and he programmed their network or something like that. I don't know a lot about it. He also works at a computer store, fixing computers.
This reply was last edited on 07-25-05 02:21:51 PM by peach.
Baggy_Brad
FIGJAM

Cool.

Ballkicks: (+1431 / -135)
Posts: 6737 (0.997)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: Australia, Mate
Gender: Male
Reply 18 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 07:38:46 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Just you describing him makes me hate him, Dani.

They guy obviously has no self-confidence and hides that by being nice and agreeable.

People with no self-confidence can't be in succesful relationships. Unless he matures it will never work out and he will get hurt much more than he would in just being rejected.
However, rejection may make him even more insecure, or it could toughen him up a bit.
bradism.
Smokey
INTL Premium Member
fuck this title

funkle smokey

Ballkicks: (+845 / -114)
Posts: 5205 (0.875)
Reg. Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orlando Florida
Gender: Male
Reply 19 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 08:13:35 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

All sensitive guys need is stronger support for their fellow man.

Example dedicated to Coke -

http://uploaded.interestingnonetheless.net/Smokey2003/Breakup.mp3
BOYS GO 2 COLLEGE 2 GET MORE KNOWLEDGE GURLS GO 2 JUPITER 2 GET MORE STUPIDER LOL
Pluveto

Rain Man

Ballkicks: (+164 / -45)
Posts: 791 (0.117)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location:
Gender: Unspecified
Reply 20 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 10:25:58 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Quote:
He really has a lot of aspects about him that make him seem gay, such as being sort of touchy, not in a defensive sense, but he touches people a lot.


Don't you think it's a little ignorant to conflate those attributes with homosexuality?
Smokey
INTL Premium Member
fuck this title

funkle smokey

Ballkicks: (+845 / -114)
Posts: 5205 (0.875)
Reg. Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orlando Florida
Gender: Male
Reply 21 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 10:35:43 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

I don't.
BOYS GO 2 COLLEGE 2 GET MORE KNOWLEDGE GURLS GO 2 JUPITER 2 GET MORE STUPIDER LOL
Sixten Sparre
…pater la bourgeoisie

wears neckerchiefs

Ballkicks: (+1184 / -307)
Posts: 4672 (0.71)
Reg. Date: Sep 2002
Location: Funen Island
Gender: Male
Reply 22 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 10:38:53 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

I fucking hate stereotypes, the idea behind them & the people who embody them.
Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, and Sassy.
Smokey
INTL Premium Member
fuck this title

funkle smokey

Ballkicks: (+845 / -114)
Posts: 5205 (0.875)
Reg. Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orlando Florida
Gender: Male
Reply 23 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 10:42:23 AM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Surt, what are your opinions on Americans?

If you meant to say you hate certain types of stereo's it'd be off topic but less hypocritical.
BOYS GO 2 COLLEGE 2 GET MORE KNOWLEDGE GURLS GO 2 JUPITER 2 GET MORE STUPIDER LOL
PopRocks

I can buck my hips and suck neck while pinned under 250 lbs of man; I had him do me doggy style so we could both watch "When Harry Met Sally"

Ballkicks: (+233 / -15)
Posts: 1160 (0.18)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location: Austin, TX
Gender: Female
Reply 24 of 87 (Originally posted on: 07-25-05 01:18:52 PM)
Edit Post | Edit History | Send PM | Change Title | Reply w/Quote | Report Post | Ignore | Show All Posts

Quoted from Better than those other Girls:
Integrity is the most important thing
that's a great way to say it. The nice people I am close friends with are still honest and reliable enough to be friends with, and goofy enough to be funny.

Peach, the original post makes it sound less like this guy is just nice so much as he is constantly holding back. I like genuinely nice people who aren't robots, who say and do funny things, while still managing not to hurt anybody's feelings.

I think I am often guilty of being too nice, but I wouldn't say I'm holding anything back, I just like people and I like it when people are happy.

quick edit: Help your friend, the one he's got a crush on, get out of that "If-I-date-him-I'll-hurt-him-If-I-don't-I'll-hurt-him" limbo.

If you both agree it's a bad match, make her have that conversation with him. "I really enjoy hanging out with you, but previous experience has lead me to beleive we're a bad match. I know myself and I know what I need in a partner, and it's just a fundamental different kind of person than you are. You have many qualities which I value highly in a friend, but relationships are much different. I understand if you feel that the relationship cannot continue if you have romantic feelings towards me, but it would mean a lot to me if when you get past those feelings you would still considder me for what I have to offer as a friend." Something like that.

It's always better to address that sort of thing before "bitter" and "awkward" are how your friendship is described.
Quick Reply
Page: [ 1 2 3 4 ] Reply to Thread | Create New Thread | Create New Poll | Convert To Poll | Subscribe To Thread
[ Thread Views: 5164 | Total Posts: 87 ]