So I joined the Royal Australian Air Force



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Ballard
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To fight for the glory of the British Empire!

No, seriously. Hello listeners. I actually applied to join up last year after dropping out of university (economics sux) and deciding I probably didn't want to pursue a career in dishwashing. The job I applied for was Avionics Technician ('AVTECH'), ie. equivalent to an 'aircraft maintenance engineer' for the aircraft electonics systems.

Today I finally had the dreaded 'assessment day' I've been sweatin' over for weeks, which comprised a psychological assessment, medical (as in "remove your undies now" type medical), and general job interview.

The psychiatrist was a bit of a wanker, but I managed to pass as 'not insane'.

The medical I passed as class 1 ie. all good, though much to my disappointment my genitals weren't examined by a:

But rather just some old feller.

I was under the impression that the job interview would be an hour of intensive and probing interrogation, but it turned out to be 15 mins of conversation with a friendly Seawoman. Easy as piss!

So, yeah, then they were all like "ok, you're in", and I was all like "where do I get my grenades at?!"

I have to pass a fitness test (also easy as piss), then I'm shipped out to recruit training on oct 4, where I'll be shouted at for 10 weeks. Then it's 3 more years of training before I become a fully qualified AVTECH.

If you're interested, I'll ultimately end up specialising in one of these aircraft: C130H or J Hercules, Caribou, FA18 Hornet, F111, P3C or AP3C Orion, Hawk 127, PC9, 707, 737, JSF (not sure when that's coming in tho).

Any questions?

btw army people please form an orderly queue for giving me shit

This reply was last edited on 07-06-05 05:01:14 AM by Ballard.

Baggy_Brad
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Cool.

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I feel so safe now.

bradism.

Ballard
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Yes, well, everytime you hear about a plane crash, you can think of me.

mmac
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it's INTL, not the fucking UN - Amphy

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So I'll see you in Kuwait approxamitly 16 weeks from now?

This signature is only a temporary replacement for something that is actually funny.

Snowy
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I'll just stick to CONGRATULATIONS~! Working with machines is suprisingly satisfying. Pity these will be MACHINES OF DEATH but I guess that industry is booming so what are ya gonna do.

Everybody’s got a secret, Sonny
Something that they just can’t face
Some folks spend their whole lives tryin’ to keep it
They carry it with `em every step that they take
Till some day they just cut it loose— cut it loose or let it drag `em down
Where no one asks any questions, or looks too long in your face
In the darkness on the edge of town

Ballard
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Quoted from mmac:
So I'll see you in Kuwait approxamitly 16 weeks from now?

It's a date, my brother in arms!

Quoted from Snowy:
I'll just stick to CONGRATULATIONS~! Working with machines is suprisingly satisfying. Pity these will be MACHINES OF DEATH but I guess that industry is booming so what are ya gonna do.

Well actually I hope to specialist C130 Hercules guy. Big huge lumbering transport plane.
But... yes. Kill! Kill! Kill!

Air Bud
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Some plants even masturbate into their own vaginas in order to reproduce.

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Next time I see a koala fall out of a passing by aircraft, I'll think of you.

Sixten Sparre
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wears neckerchiefs

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They still feel your nuts?

They stopped that some years ago here.

All we had to do was wait, watch retarded video from the 80's, do tests & then strip to our underwear and go into the doctor who told me that my back was slightly arched and i could get back problems if i carried heavy stuff & sue the military.

Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, and Sassy.

Stormraider
User is currently banned until further notice.

im gay

Quote:
Well actually I hope to specialist C130 Hercules guy. Big huge lumbering transport plane.

Well, if you go to Canada, even our C130's can kill.

Granted, they're really only a danger to thier passengers.....

Stormraider- 73.275% of your daily dose of Cynical Jackass!!
Fuck you, your dog, and manifest destiny!

mmac
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it's INTL, not the fucking UN - Amphy

3ms will rise again

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We stripped to our skivies, and did the duck walk around the room and shit. The us military has very complete entry physicals.

Surt, you were in the military? I never knew that.

This signature is only a temporary replacement for something that is actually funny.

Tyr

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Quoted from Stormy:
Granted, they're really only a danger to thier passengers.....

Hahaha.

A friend of mine who is an aviation technician in the USAF regularly had 18-20 hours of work a day pre-Iraq invasion. Hopefully you will like it a lot, if they make you work that much.

Good luck with it though.

Skye
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I love Skye

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Take pics in uniform; those are so very charming.

Don't die or get kidnapped or lose a limb to a mine or grenade, k?

When Troth asked Senich whether any of his supervisors had ever told him to stop swearing, he recalled that Corky Krollman, who was Senich's supervisor for a time, told him on several occasions, "'Senich, clean up your fucking act.'"
With that, Leighton's head fell to the table.

Angus

D'oh!

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That picture of the hot doctor made me have to go jack off.

C
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Do you think they'd let me join the RAAF?

I got hit in the nuts by one girl and before the pain kicked in I yelled, "Abortion!" and hit her in the stomach.

Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler. He did a lot. But don't we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned?

LEEROY JENKINS!

jimmy
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Ballard and Brad are paragons for what good, humorous Australians should be. If I ever make it down there, I hope this is what they're all like.

flaming arrow
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old time judge suck cock

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I like how the Australians "offer" enlistment. In American if you even hint that you want to enlist they will send people over to make sure you fucking follow up!

Sixten Sparre
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Quote:
Surt, you were in the military? I never knew that.

no, i went to a thing we call "session", which all male danish citizens have to attend.

Many get dropped at just the hint of any injuries, and those who pass the physical test, can pick a number from a tombolla, like the lottery, and if they get a specifik number they are free from going into service.

There is like 24.000 numbers all in all, and i think anything below 7.000 is a sure ticket into the service.

Out of my class (who i know off), 3 got ditched on the physical, and one drew a number that was high enough for him not to be drafted.

Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, and Sassy.

Ballard
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Quoted from Surt:
They still feel your nuts?

And how! (... not gently MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

)

Quoted from Tyr:

A friend of mine who is an aviation technician in the USAF regularly had 18-20 hours of work a day pre-Iraq invasion. Hopefully you will like it a lot, if they make you work that much.

Good luck with it though.

Thanks. You'd probably accrue a lot of extra leave for working that much. Then again you'd think they'd want aircraft technicians to be fully alert. i am raising my eyebrow

Quoted from Skye:
Take pics in uniform; those are so very charming.

Don't die or get kidnapped or lose a limb to a mine or grenade, k?

Yes ma'am. I'll probably just get sucked into a turbine instead.

Quoted from Chimp:
Do you think they'd let me join the RAAF?

No, foreign devil. Try the French Foreign Legion.

Quoted from jimmy:
Ballard and Brad are paragons for what good, humorous Australians should be. If I ever make it down there, I hope this is what they're all like.

Aw, shucks. Wait, a paragon is a good thing, right?

Quoted from FA:
I like how the Australians "offer" enlistment. In American if you even hint that you want to enlist they will send people over to make sure you fucking follow up!

Yes it's quality over quantity here learn u some stuff ok??

Trofozoito
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And what have I do to drive an aircraft?

I'm gonna eat you baby!

Dante

cocks in my mouth

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Quoted from Ballard:
Australian Air Force

LOL

I wanna join an army that never does anything... MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

^{stumbling towards 3000}

Kitabatake
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2efficient4spacebar

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Quoted from Dante:
Quoted from Ballard:
Australian Air Force
LOL

I wanna join an army that never does anything...

As far as I know, Australia always gets suckered into anything the US does.

Join the French army.

That's about when I met nelly, she was the village belle.
I was just a panderer, but I loved that girl like hell.

Then along came a city slicker, all finely dressed and gay.
Before I knew it, the son of a bitch stole my nelly away.

So I'm just resting my bones a while, and then I'll be on my way.
I'll get the runt that swiped my cunt if it takes till the judgement day.

mmac
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it's INTL, not the fucking UN - Amphy

3ms will rise again

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Quoted from Dante:
Quoted from Ballard:
Australian Air Force
LOL

I wanna join an army that never does anything...

They're all over the place around here, and there are more up north. On the plus side they have a lot of really hot female officers dance dance revolution

This signature is only a temporary replacement for something that is actually funny.

Stormraider
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im gay

Quote:

I wanna join an army that never does anything...

You can join us, if you want.

If you're infantry, you might occasionally have to go put down some pesky rebellions or civil wars with the Peacekeeping Corps, but otherwise, you're pretty much only going to be training all over North America and Europe, and sitting around on your ass.

Oh, don't join the Navy, though. They're always floating around on some stupid training or patrol mission, and if the Yanks ever like us again, we get stuck protecting their Carriers and Command Ships because we're "trusty" or something. Which basically means the next time some prick with a Zodiac comes a-sailing with a boatload of C4, you're going to get fucked.

Stormraider- 73.275% of your daily dose of Cynical Jackass!!
Fuck you, your dog, and manifest destiny!

Angus

D'oh!

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Should I join the marines out of high school and let them pay for my college? I think being a psychiatrist would be coal

and if I knew how to fight real well, I wouldn't get raped in jail.

Sunn O)))
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Quote:
And how! (... not gently)

Why. It's not as though you can't check yourself for lumps and bumps?

Quote:
And what have I do to drive an aircraft?

Learn English, otherwise "Do Not Press This" becomes "Press this, why not" big grin

Quote:
You can join us, if you want.

If you're infantry, you might occasionally have to go put down some pesky rebellions or civil wars with the Peacekeeping Corps, but otherwise, you're pretty much only going to be training all over North America and Europe, and sitting around on your ass.

Oh, don't join the Navy, though. They're always floating around on some stupid training or patrol mission, and if the Yanks ever like us again, we get stuck protecting their Carriers and Command Ships because we're "trusty" or something. Which basically means the next time some prick with a Zodiac comes a-sailing with a boatload of C4, you're going to get fucked.

I haven't heard much about the current state of the RCAF, though I know a few people in the Canadian infantry, and they're currently in Afghanistan doing clean-up.

Quote:
Should I join the marines out of high school and let them pay for my college? I think being a psychiatrist would be coal and if I knew how to fight real well, I wouldn't get raped in jail.

Wait, let me get this straight:
High School --> Marines
Marines --> Psychiatrist
Psychiatrist = Being a jail bitch

"Oh Joe Cocker"
(you like Joe's Cocker, don't ya?)
"It's up where it belongs."

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