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Guy Tuttle and Ass
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(Originally posted on: 06-08-05 07:40:40 PM)
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So, last night I was hanging out in my room, studying the Genitive (I fucking love the Genitive), when I saw this brown flash scurry across my wall. I looked, and it was A GIGANTIC SPIDER OMG OMG. So like I yelled, "Holy fucking shit Derek look at this thing", and covered it up with my drink cup. After much deliberation and some hyperventilating on my part, I was able to transfer my deadly cargo to the surface of my desk.



He hung out there for a while but he was kind of in the way and I still had to study. Constant attention needed to be paid so that he wouldn't mutate or something and break free from the cup's tenuous grasp.

I looked around for another kind of container, and



Oh Cristal, you never fail me.

After a lot of concentrating and cursing, I managed to get the spider into the empty rum bottle. He paused for a few moments to observe his new surroundings, and then ran around a lot and tried to climb the sides, but kept slipping.



Yeah, it turns out that there was a little rum left over after all. He didn't seem to be enjoying himself much at all.



In fact, he kind of looked like he was dying.



After that he kind of stopped moving unless I shook the bottle really hard, and I kind of went back to studying. The bottle was gone when I woke up, but I left it out in the living room and probably someone just threw it away.
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Eleison

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Reply 1 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 08:01:05 PM)
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Eeeee. While I'm not generally afraid of spiders, one that looked like that would be a little creepy.

But I bet the truth is he was an angry drunk and somehow found the strength to climb out of the bottle and take it with him when he left. He'll use it to exact bloody vengeance upon you and your loved ones later.
I don't go to the park now. The ducks tell everyone things about me. They tell everyone I thought a dog could talk. "Shut up," I said when they did, but they didn't, and I hate them now. The ducks.
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Reply 2 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 08:05:12 PM)
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after he was soaked in liquor you should have poured him into a bowl and lit him on fire. fucking spiders. jesus fuck they are evil.
I am the Lizard King, I can do anything.

Now you'll sing a song of liberty for blacks and paks and jocks
And they'll take you from this dump you're in and stick you in a box
Then they'll take you to Cloughprior and shove you in the ground
But you'll stick your head back out and shout "we'll have another round"
Smokey
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Reply 3 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 08:12:02 PM)
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AHHHHH FUCKING STOP MAKING SPIDER THREADS!!! FOR SOME REASON I HAVE TO CLICK THEM AND IT ALWAYS ENDS WITH ME TYPING IN ALL CAPS AND SPELLING OUT SCREAMS!

Also, I did that with a roach once...and then let the bottle down, he stumbled out for a second before climbing back in - gold.

Then I fed him to some lizards out on the porch.
Deathofsmokey: Hey send me a picture of your vagina so I can glue it to my cat
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Guy Tuttle and Ass
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gotta get that VICTORY ROYALE #gamer #memes #LoL

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Reply 4 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 08:25:28 PM)
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I don't think he would have burned, but that would have been pretty awesome.
Tyr

I cybered with Kayte

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Reply 5 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 08:43:52 PM)
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the second to last picture is fucking sweet

almost looks photoshoppo
nafe

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Reply 6 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 08:54:17 PM)
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GAh, the white ones are mighty devilish
spiders and I... we have bad blood between us. And some day they're going to eat me.
Hasty Penguin
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Reply 7 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 08:56:00 PM)
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I used to think spiders were my friends when I was a kid. Then a daddy long-legs bit me and I beat it to death repeatedly.

I went through the same phase with bumblebees.

After an unsuccessful "Bug Club" that met three times for a total of roughly forty-five minutes, I decided that the insect world would never accept me. MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

True story.
"I went in the Haunted House, and around the corner, Frankenstein was patiently waiting for me."
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kayte
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Reply 8 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 09:13:32 PM)
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Gross. Big fucking spiders *shudder* I kinda dig the pics of it melting into the liquor though.

Once this huge fucking spider crawled under my door and into my room... it looked like a tarantula, I think they might be called wood spiders or something... anyway it was the middle of the night so I turned my garbage can upside down on it and then stacked my encyclopedia and a few other thick books on it and spent the night sleeping fitfully until the next morning when I made my mom remove it from my room because I am a big girl like that.

Ew.
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Reply 9 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 10:25:30 PM)
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Quoted from ice:
So I was captured by a huge fucking spider

That's about when I met nelly, she was the village belle.
I was just a panderer, but I loved that girl like hell.

Then along came a city slicker, all finely dressed and gay.
Before I knew it, the son of a bitch stole my nelly away.

So I'm just resting my bones a while, and then I'll be on my way.
I'll get the runt that swiped my cunt if it takes till the judgement day.
Sunn O)))
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Zan-beef

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Reply 10 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 10:27:32 PM)
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Looks like a Hobo variation of some kind. Just this evening, I found a spider hanging out near my muffins. I fucking hate spiders when they come near food.
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(you like Joe's Cocker, don't ya?)
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jamers615
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I've had them so long I don't think I could live without big ones!

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Reply 11 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 10:32:53 PM)
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It's always my luck that I see some sort of ugly nasty huge spider as I'm in the shower with soap in my hair. Which always ends the same way, with me flailing about and slipping until I finally FALL OUT of the shower screaming for my boy to come kill it. I've taken the shower curtain out like that a couple times too. But if I am fully clothed in the kitchen I will pick them up with my bare hads and deposit them outside. For some reason when I am NAKED and confronted by a spider, all hell breaks loose.
Can I buy you a fish sandwich?
Amphytrite
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Reply 12 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 10:41:35 PM)
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I don't mind spiders as long as they don't bite me. If they do, then it's on.
<Nickolati> you fucking speeb.. leave me alone
<Nickolati> man... this is some speebin chicken
<Nickolati> alas, thou speeb lies ahead!
<Nickolati> yo man, you got that speeb? i got some cheddah.
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STFU, biatch
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Reply 13 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 11:04:40 PM)
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i'm going to come up behind you and touch the back of your neck
Smokey
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funkle smokey

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Reply 14 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 11:12:29 PM)
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One time I freaked because I had a crazy dream about killer spiders, and then woke up on my stomach and felt my long and sexy girl hair resting on my back and thought OH SHIT THERES A GIANT SPIDER ON MY BACK. I laid there for like 10 min. in terror until I realized that I have sexy long girl hair.
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Coca-Cola
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Reply 15 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 11:15:08 PM)
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I'm pretty neutral when it comes to spiders, but I'd definitely be freaked out if one crawled on me while I was asleep.

That spider picture is awesome, I right-click-save-as-desktop-wallpapered it so someone in my family can freak out the next time they turn on the computer.
Waveslave

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Reply 16 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 11:34:53 PM)
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Quote:
Just this evening, I found a spider hanging out near my muffins. I fucking hate spiders when they come near food.


I once had a huge spider crawl out of my bowl of Captain Crunchs right before I poured the milk...I didn't eat cereal for weeks after.
NNY
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Reply 17 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-08-05 11:54:15 PM)
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Quoted from TheDecline:
Quote:
Just this evening, I found a spider hangin g out near my muffins. I fucking hate spiders when they come near food.


I once had a huge spider crawl out of my bowl of raisin right before I poured the milk...I didn't eat cereal for weeks after.


ive never liked milk, so i always ate my cereal straight from the box. one day when i was younger (lets say 12-13) i sat down and started munching on some raisin bran. about 5 minutes later i looked down at the handfull i had just pulled out. it was covered in white threads. i threw it aside and pulled out another handfull, the same thing. some clumps were even bound together by thick webs. apparently some fucking spider thought my box of rasin bran was a good place to live and turned the entire box into his/her privae playground. i hope they died in the fucking trash compactor.
I am the Lizard King, I can do anything.

Now you'll sing a song of liberty for blacks and paks and jocks
And they'll take you from this dump you're in and stick you in a box
Then they'll take you to Cloughprior and shove you in the ground
But you'll stick your head back out and shout "we'll have another round"
Shadowe

I kinda want to see that up someone's ass

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Reply 18 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-09-05 12:18:40 AM)
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Congratulations, i just ripped a nice long piece of skin off because of this thread. Was watching the little fucker die when my headphone cord brushed against my arm, so i freaked out and FLEW out of my chair and straight up. I've got this long straight cut going down my arm now. Fucking desk, imma sand the corners down now.
i Will nOt inseRt subliminal mesSages into my signature to Harm certaIn peoPles Minds...yEt.

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Ballard
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Reply 19 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-09-05 12:35:11 AM)
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You call that a spider!? I'm going to go and find some spiders now and demonstrate my australianness
Guy Tuttle and Ass
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gotta get that VICTORY ROYALE #gamer #memes #LoL

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Reply 20 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-09-05 12:40:25 AM)
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Who are you, Crocodile Dundee?
Kyrie
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No more blue tomorrows.

Eleison

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Reply 21 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-09-05 12:51:29 AM)
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Quoted from Ballard:
You call that a spider!? I'm going to go and find some spiders now and demonstrate my australianness

I know an Australian guy whose house gets spiders so enormous and terrifying that he uses spray adhesive to kill them when they're out in the open.

GodDAMN. I couldn't live there.
then comes alchemy then comes loyal then comes sensual and then comes holy then comes debauchery and then comes fortune then comes godly and then comes guiltless
Ballard
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Reply 22 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-09-05 12:57:57 AM)
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HEY SMOKEY, CHECK THIS OUT!

neon

is going to post her bus stop here tomorrow, and we will love it.

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Reply 23 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-09-05 12:58:52 AM)
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I don't mind spiders to much. I used to freak out if there was one in my room before i went to sleep or if i saw one in the bathroom while having a shower until i realised that they don't do anything.

I think of it this way, if i see a spider in my room before I go to bed then it probally won't even come near me. If it does i'll be alseep and be none the wiser.
Smokey
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funkle smokey

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Reply 24 of 62 (Originally posted on: 06-09-05 01:05:16 AM)
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FUCK! I BRING IT ON MYSELF!
Deathofsmokey: Hey send me a picture of your vagina so I can glue it to my cat
Snowy: That'd be like..an echo
Snowy: pussy PUSSY pussy PUSSY
Deathofsmokey: haha, you're so hilarious and original, send the fucking pic
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