I'm curious, is my life as fucked up as everyone else's?



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Socrateius
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Well, many, many thing have happened in my life in the past couple months. Everything went to crap on June 21st, where my best friend was killed in a car accident. I was devastated, crying myself to sleep every night for the next month. The only thing that got me through it was another close friend, who was also my best friend's girlfriend. We became best friends, she was the only person that understood what I was going through, and I was the only one that understood what she was going through. After the grief part of getting over my friend subsided, we had so much fun together. We would go out and have fun all the time, and would talk for hours on end.

School starts, and we're still best friends. However, this past week, she got to know the ex-boyfriend of her dead boyfriend's crush. Basically, he finally got her out of the emotional rut that she was in, according to her. Basically, everything I did was worthless, or something. Anyway, she tells me yesterday that she thinks that she is starting to become attracted to him. It was a total shock to me, for obvious reasons. However, instead of feeling happy that she's not "depressed" anymore, I feel like shit. It hurts every time I see her and him together. I think I'm falling in love with her(or some degree of it). God fucking damnit, why does this have to happen? I can't do this, I really can't. I feel like shit right now, and as soon as her and him get together, we will grow apart. It is going to happen, neither of us can help it. And here I am, right now, feeling like crap, seeing if I'm just as fucked up as everyone else.

peach
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Every human on this Earth gets themselves into horrible situations just for some subconscious drama or want of attention. Divert your attention is the best advice I can give, but there isn't much else to say.

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Sixten Sparre
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i feel sorry for you *sad*

She got over it, maybe it's the best thing to do........

Mr Pixies
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Sounds like something out of a movie. If you were to tell her how you feel, do you think she would understand? Maybe she has feelings for you too, but since you were the best friend of her boyfriend, it's a little weird for her, and you. If you are only going to become less of friends, you don't have much to lose.

Excuse me while I puke and die.

Stormraider
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I'll have to paraphrase some Ja Rule here: Love is pain.
Though my life may not have taken such a horrible turn as yours has, it hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. I have dozens of friends, all of whom I trust, I'm generally well liked (I hope), but yet...why do I feel so empty? I feel like I have not met a single person who fully understands me. The few people who come close either don't want to fully understand, or end up being less than I thought they were. I'm a hopeless romantic of an idealist with no one to love back, fighting with the cynic in me saying it won't change.

My parents were divorced when I was in Grade 5, I was picked on all through public school and it only ended in Grade 10 when I finally stood up for myself. My father lives four hours away, he might have cancer, and I'm screwed tuition wise for university next year. Hell I don't even know what I want to DO in any University I somehow manage to afford.

So in short, yes, we've all been through stuff, maybe not equally, but we still have. Never feel like you don't have anyone to talk to about it.

Stormraider- 73.275% of your daily dose of Cynical Jackass!!
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Socrateius
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Quoted from Mr Pixies:
Sounds like something out of a movie. If you were to tell her how you feel, do you think she would understand? Maybe she has feelings for you too, but since you were the best friend of her boyfriend, it's a little weird for her, and you. If you are only going to become less of friends, you don't have much to lose.

Actually, I told her today. She understands, and feels awful that she's putting me through this. She says that if she could, she would just stop her feelings with him. She knows that it would be weird of her and myself got into a relationship now, and that's partially why she's never developed any feelings for me. I don't know, everything is total crap.

Stormraider
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im gay

Not EVERYTHING.

Stormraider- 73.275% of your daily dose of Cynical Jackass!!
Or how about you participate and NOT be a troll.- Salamando

Socrateius
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Quoted from Stormraider:
Not EVERYTHING.

Agreed, I don't think yourself, dani, or Rasher are made of feces...

I'd say that your life is pretty much as bad or worse as mine, just different in terms of "badliness."...

Stormraider
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im gay

Yah, well I've found ways of dealing with it all. I try to explain what I know my friends CAN understand, so at least some of it gets out. I also found that for some reason everyone comes to me with their relationship problems, the irony of that kills me btw, and helping them usually makes me feel better. There's obviously nothing that can be done about the divorce, my father, or the lonliness, but I deal with it, because eventually the right will outbalance the wrong.

Stormraider- 73.275% of your daily dose of Cynical Jackass!!
Or how about you participate and NOT be a troll.- Salamando

peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Wierdly enough, talking to me probably made it worse MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

Sorry, Soccy.

Socrateius
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Quoted from danielle:
Wierdly enough, talking to me probably made it worse

Sorry, Soccy.

Nahhhhh, don't you fret. I'm still in the shits, but your talk let me vent some stuff. If I had the postcount(that's it!), I would give you karma. Instead:

*hugs dani*

EDIT - Oooh, 20 posts. A hug and +karma for dani

*hugs dani again*

peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Aww, thanks. I really didn't mean to make the situation worse, but seriously. What we were talking about yesterday, I can honestly tell you that I don't regret anything that happened, I sort of learned from it, and it left me stronger, and soon enough the pain went away, I'm confident that's how it'll happen for you too.

You know you can IM me anytime anyway i'm a serial-killer :)

shelper

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you know where to find me if you ever need to talk to me... MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

Socrateius
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*sigh*

I talked with her again tonight. However much it's going to hurt, I've decided to not "challenge"(emphasis on the " LOL IM SUCH A FAG!!

their relationship. It's the only way I can keep whatever friendship that I can with her...

Shit.

*slams head on table*

Stormraider
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im gay

Dontcha love it when they want to remain friends after they tear your heart out? And it would be so much easier if you could hate them for it, but you can't.

Stormraider- 73.275% of your daily dose of Cynical Jackass!!
Or how about you participate and NOT be a troll.- Salamando

flaming arrow
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Soc, everyone has someone. Maybe this guy she's seeing is her someone. If I were in your position, I'd really try to feel happy that she's happy with someone. I really don't have much advice for you, I've never been in a situation such as this. Anyways, I hope it all works out. I'm sure it will.

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peach
I get enamoured

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You may never forget, but these harsh feelings you have now will dwindle, and hopefully you can eventually look back and realize what you learned from this, without having the pain that you do when you think of it now.

Socrateius
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Quoted from Flaming Arrow:
Soc, everyone has someone. Maybe this guy she's seeing is her someone. If I were in your position, I'd really try to feel happy that she's happy with someone. I really don't have much advice for you, I've never been in a situation such as this. Anyways, I hope it all works out. I'm sure it will.

That's what I'm trying to do. Christ on a cracker, it's so frustrating and hurting and depressing for me. I feel like such a shitty friend for not liking it, but I can't help it. I'm never romantically attracted to anyone unless I'm already really close to them. I think that it increases the chance of a long-term relationship massively, but it just increases the pain of "rejection" 10 fold.

She told me that if the last two years hadn't happened(her meeting Devon and him dying), she would probably be interested in a romantic relationship with me. Yeah, that just makes me feel so much worse, because I can't control what's happened.

Socrateius
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Wow, I would like to get drunk right now, had I not made a vow not to ever touch a drop(my family has a history of alcoholism, my body can't handle anything, etc). They're now officially a couple, and I'm currently crying while typing.

Shiiiiit, I really can't wait for this pain to go away.

flaming arrow
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No, Soc, don't drink. It's the worst thing you can do right now.

You really need to take your mind off of this. Focus on better things. Read a book, watch some Star Trek. Anything but sitting there and focusing on the pain. Things will get better soon. You just have to let them.

Socrateius
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Yeah, the homecoming dance was tonight. Long story short, I want to die. This hurts so much. God, I hate this.

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Man, I don't know what I would do if I lost my best friend. I'm getting sad just thinking about this.

I really feel for you, man. If you need to talk or something, I have AIM: progress overdue.

I wish there was something I could do to help you.

Sonofvendettazchild
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A kindred spirit

Quote:
Actually, I told her today. She understands, and feels awful that she's putting me through this. She says that if she could, she would just stop her feelings with him. She knows that it would be weird of her and myself got into a relationship now, and that's partially why she's never developed any feelings for me. I don't know, everything is total crap.

I'm in a situation just like this now...it sucks, but I would never have the guts to tell her how I felt. This may not help but I just wanted to slit the interlopers throat, when they started to see each other Ive calmed down but it still hurts and every time I think about it Iget angry, sad, hurt, and depressed evey time I think about it. I just feel like all the time I had spent with her was wasted but i can't move on because I love her

Socrateius
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I talked with her again today, and she said that besides the whole thing about Devon being my best friend also, the main reason why she feels she can never be attracted to me is because we've formed more of a sibling relationship than a romantic one, over the years. I never showed any interest in her, so it apparently just became like that of brothers and sisters.

Fucking. Pisses. Me. Off. Especially considering that I can't do anything about it. God damnit, why do I always have to be so fucking shy?

Sonofvendettazchild
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Quote:
I talked with her again today, and she said that besides the whole thing about Devon being my best friend also, the main reason why she feels she can never be attracted to me is because we've formed more of a sibling relationship than a romantic one, over the years.

Yup...it happened like that, the "but we're to good of friends approach", and then after they know your feelings they start to alienate you because they didn't know "you felt that way about them"

More recently we have grown closer to being friends again, but she tells me all the time about how her relationships havenot been working out and she cant find anyone that she wants to see anymore, that hurts even worse than the initial denial

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