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Cornelius
LBH was here.

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(Originally posted on: 01-09-05 06:31:56 AM)
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Dearly beloved: I Cornelius, the son of Helen, the daughter of Ruth and Earl, of the tribe of Judah, am an enemy among my own people, and among my own kin, and among the many tabernacles that prophet William Saunders Crowdy built. Yea for sure I am hated without cause: but this foolishness shall not discourage me; neither shall my preaching be in vain. For I speak with undisputable truth, which is every word of the Holy Scriptures. So how say men then who believe in the Scriptures that my belief is my own? For the Holy Bible is not a book of opinions, but the knowledge and commandments of God. Surely there is no opinion to the truth! Surely there is only one Lord, one faith, and one baptism! Surely no man can come unto God but by Jesus Christ! Surely the testimony of Jesus Christ supersedes all that is written! But the false brethren, who say they love the Lord, and recite Scriptures daily, are wolves in sheep clothing; even fools led by pride and ignorance. For the false brethren are not only those that know their work is deceit: but also them that are following the deceitful worker. For the evil hearts do go about turning righteous hearts to wicked ways, that even gossip corrupt them to become a false brethren. But I am not dismayed by the gossip, neither by the bold denials, in my steps as a minister of God’s truth. For must I not travel down the same road of my Lord and Savior, to receive the reigning salvation of Glory and Truth, which is the shield of my armor and the hope of my life? Surely the question once again is my answer. For I am led not of my own will; but by the Spirit of God, whose Spirit is truth. And let this truth be known: The gospel of Christ is the salvation of both Jew and Gentile; calling all faiths to the one faith of Jesus Christ. So while many may fret because my testimony takes away the understanding of their faith; fret not; because such is given to false brethren. Be that pride, nor ignorance, neither anything mislead you; for such is the death of many. But you are called to understanding by reason of your excellent spirit, to accept correction when given: not by reason of one’s opinion, but, because, the Holy Scriptures are not opinionated.

Beloved brothers and sisters of mine: you who are raised in the faithful seed of Abraham; being the righteous heart and mind of an Indian, and a European, and an Asian, and an African, and a Latino, and a Arab, and a Jew: I speak these words not to you, but to the tabernacles built by prophet Crowdy. I Cornelius know that my name is spoken daily among the tabernacles of prophet William Saunders Crowdy: bringing controversy to all divisions; as it is to all faiths: but he that is of an excellent spirit has the understanding that what I speak makes sense and is according to what is written in Holy Scripture. But the false brethren are against me even though my testimony is of their faith. And with their convincing tongue of reciting Scriptures in part, they go about misleading many further into the bondage of spiritual darkness. For we do know that the devil, even fools, can speak the Scriptures in part: such is why there is much controversy over the Scriptures and various faiths in the name of Jesus Christ when there is only one faith of Christ the Lord. But as the devil and his fools are given power to recite Scriptures in part, we know that only one given to Christ our Lord can speak the Scriptures whole. So I say unto you all: If I am in error, show me correction according to the Holy Scriptures: And if you cannot, Who then should you believe?

Dear children: I Cornelius need not prove myself other than by the written word of God: for the written word of God alone is the evidence of His power. So why seek miracles and wonders from me, when the miracles and wonders for the eyes of flesh are given to the works of the beast (Revelation 13:11-14). The signs that satisfy the eyes of flesh are belonging to the world; thus the world shall seduce them. But the signs that satisfy the eyes of the spirit be the voice of truth, which is the knowledge of God: And the faith of that spirit is the written word of God. So dear children of the earth; both male and female alike: Think not that I need your attention or acceptance to be: for my work is done whether you hear me or not; and whether you accept me or not. And this work I do in the true name of the Lord is not done in vain, as those who oppose me worship in vain. So as many go about boldly ignoring and speaking against: these are the same that shall be found among the false brethren who shall plea for mercy in the day when there shall be none. For I am a good man: loving every race of mankind; and speaking every truth of the Most High God; and abiding in the commandments given by the Lord Jesus Christ. I am not against any race of man: but am called to give testimony according to the truth of the Almighty God, that every lover of God might receive the gift of salvation without the “imitation of Christ”. But think not that the salvation of God come without sorrows for the earth: for many there must be that prophecy be fulfilled. So while men look at the horror caused by the Indian Ocean, let them look towards the Atlantic and Pacific: for the cataclysm of the Tsunami that recently struck the earth is but a small example of the many great and terrible sorrows that must come upon all the earth in these last days and times. Indeed many pray for the day of the Lord not knowing that it is a great and terrible day: for what say the Holy Scriptures: “The earth shall quake before them; the heavens shall tremble: the sun and the moon shall be dark, and the stars shall withdraw their shining: And the LORD shall utter his voice before his army: for his camp is very great: for he is strong that executeth his word: for the day of the LORD is great and very terrible; and who can abide it?” (Joel 2:10-11) What then are we who dwell upon the earth called to do to be saved? Are we not to be as it is in the continuation of reading: “Therefore also now, saith the LORD, Turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil” (Joel 2:12-13). So be it then that we abide as it is written: for the Lord our God is the only wise God.

Now let us open our Holy Bibles this Sabbath to Galatians 2:4-5: and let us Read and Hear what the Spirit say to the Church: “And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage: To whom we gave place by subjection, no, not for an hour; that the truth of the gospel might continue with you”.

Beloved: if I should continue in the Word, will the Word not save the seed of the Indian, and the Asian, and the European, and the Latino, and the African, and the Arab, and the Jew? Yea for sure: for the Word is given for all to eat, that even those in the lowest parts of hell might be saved. So I say unto you all: Believe not me, but what is written in the Holy Scriptures. For salvation is freedom: and the truth shall set you free. Peace and Love be unto you all. And let the people say, Amen.

www.aboutthelambsbookoflife.net
Smokey
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fuck this title

funkle smokey

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Reply 1 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 06:53:44 AM)
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You want money right?
If I can bludgeon a hooker to death and burry her in the desert, I sure as shit can punch a little girl and steal her shoes.
Agon
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when i finish my cut in a few months i'll show you my shiny new abs.

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Reply 2 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 07:20:14 AM)
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tl;dr
please have sex with me zippo
Sixten Sparre
Épater la bourgeoisie

wears neckerchiefs

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Reply 3 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 07:28:10 AM)
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cornelius you suck
Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, and Sassy.
Agon
Vodka and Lip Gloss
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when i finish my cut in a few months i'll show you my shiny new abs.

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Reply 4 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 07:30:41 AM)
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Quoted from JESUS:
IS ANY AMONG YOU AFFLICTED? LET HIM PRAY. IS ANY MERRY?


edit: A black Jew named Neal. This needs to be a sitcom on NBC.
please have sex with me zippo
Cornelius
LBH was here.

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Reply 5 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 07:40:23 AM)
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Peace:

It is ridicule that makes the weak stronger when faith is in need of an increase!
Agon
Vodka and Lip Gloss
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when i finish my cut in a few months i'll show you my shiny new abs.

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Reply 6 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 07:42:32 AM)
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RS is the fourth forum down buddy.
please have sex with me zippo
Imperialist
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[sarcasm]few words[/sarcasm]

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Reply 7 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 08:21:17 AM)
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I'd like to see the Mediterranean Ocean reflect in her eyes. :bird:
ORGANIZE BEFORE THEY RISE
Menion
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Regular

Man-Onions

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Reply 8 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 08:23:57 AM)
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Can this be considered some sort of "Hi, I'm new" thread?
Ok, that's good to know...

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." --Paul Ehrlich

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived" -- Winston Churchill

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- The Infamous Mr. Dan Quayle
antpocas
"Sex is not dating."
"If it were, Santana and I would be dating.


GLEEK

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Reply 9 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 08:25:04 AM)
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Woah, dude, you're tripping.
Lyle

My penis is huge

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Reply 10 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 08:47:25 AM)
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Quoted from Agon:
tl;dr
Ein

LBH was here.

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Reply 11 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 09:12:34 AM)
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I got about .5 a paragraph down and decided that this thread sucks.
Well fuck me sideways.
Ballsack 5.0

i'd like to see a pic of ice's duck

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Reply 12 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 09:35:59 AM)
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Hey, buddy, stick around.

You make me look like I suck less than I actually do.
BB: Seeking social acceptance from the Internet since 1998.
Psychotic Astronaut
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Complete fucking idiot. ^______________^

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Reply 13 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 09:54:38 AM)
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I made it through 2 sentences and decided to see if there was a shortened version at the end of the post.

There wasnt.
I know, my life is so pathetic. All I ever do is whine and be emo about it.

I should just go slit my wrists.

-Lyle
Mr Excitable
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Reply 14 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 10:23:26 AM)
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story needed a vampire
Wanderlust
Background Forummers

"lad's new rut"

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Reply 15 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 10:24:11 AM)
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PRAISE BE TO ALLAH

DOWN WITH THE CHRISTIAN INFIDEL
NNY
Alcoholics Anonymous
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Staying in alone, with my cat.

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Reply 16 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 10:53:30 AM)
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exactly
I hate yankees and this is one reason why. Just because you can't pay for 3 hot dogs doesn't mean that the economy is bad and ya'll think that bush is an idiot because he's from Texas. Well f you because he saved your ass from people like Sadam Houssein and don't go thinking i'm just a minupulated trailor trash illiterate for taking up for him because I'm smarter than 90% of the world.

"There's not a lot of cursing, swearing, personal cuts, there's not a lot of put downs, it's not you know screen-fulls of you know "go to hell", it's just surprising."

--- John Allen about "Internet"

Frightening social changes continued! And then the religious right began a righteous backlash! First they accused gays and lesbians of being promiscuous! And when this failed, they began accusing them of having long-term committed monogamous relationships and wanting to get married!
Angus

D'oh!

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Reply 17 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 10:56:07 AM)
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I gave him +k for typing all that (or copying and pasting).
Widukind
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M/F? No one knows

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Reply 18 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 11:12:40 AM)
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Quoted from Cornelius:
But the false brethren, who say they love the Lord, and recite Scriptures daily, are wolves in sheep clothing; even fools led by pride and ignorance.


Hahaha, I knew it! Take that, church fags!
Air Bud
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Reply 19 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 11:13:27 AM)
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Quoted from Mr Excitable:
story needed a vampire
or maybe vampire lesbians
BAH HUMBUG
barticus
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LBH was here.

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Reply 20 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 12:02:26 PM)
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maybe vampire lesbians in sheep clothing
Marge: I'm afraid I might be smothering Bart.
Homer: Yeah and then the cops would come and you'd get the chair.
Marge: Homer, that's not what I meant.
Homer: Yes it is Marge, admit it.
Science Brad
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sigh

Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end.

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Reply 21 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 12:07:43 PM)
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Can't this be some sort of shameless advertising?

Honestly, if we wanted to hear about mythologies we'd head over to Age of Mythology Heaven.
"Beware the man of a single book"
Bertrand Russell
"Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are"
George Carlin
"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense."
Chapman Cohen

"No one ever listens to Cathy. They just die in her vagina"-Zippo
Mr Excitable
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Reply 22 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 12:24:31 PM)
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How about lesbian vampire porn
antpocas
"Sex is not dating."
"If it were, Santana and I would be dating.


GLEEK

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Reply 23 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 12:50:28 PM)
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Quoted from Science Brad:
Age of Mythology Heaven
heaven is a mithology so jokes on you
Coca-Cola
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MY WIG-WAM WOKS!

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Reply 24 of 113 (Originally posted on: 01-09-05 12:59:07 PM)
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Can you just post the SparkNotes version, please?
Chris Griffin: Yo, did y'all check me when that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid? Yeah, I was looking to break off a little somethin' somethin' but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she's all about the bling-bling.
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