(time of death: 11-23-04 10:37:09 PM)
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You read that correct. You see, this whole time, we've all been blinded by the fact that Lyle has a vagina and we've let that blur the lines of reality and make this girl seem more attractive than she actually isn't. I'm guilty too.
Let me share a somewhat long story. Skip to the bolded part for a summary!
When I was stationed in Korea, there were a majority of males who vastly outnumbered the females by a ratio of about 10:1. Of course, that ratio only applies to American soldiers, and not the Koreans. However, due to such a low supply of females and an isolated environment of horny guys who are a few thousand miles away from their family, friends, wives, and girlfriends, they begin to realize that what they do in Korea will not affect their actual lives, once they leave Korea. They basically discovered that they could fuck anything with two tits and two holes between their legs and get away with it. However, at the same time, due to the lack of female population, ugly girls suddenly began to realize that the face and body that they were born with was no longer a curse and was a rather hot commodity. Since most guys couldn't score sex with an incredibly hot female, they resorted to the ugly ducklings for their sexual escapades.
Okay, I know that above paragraph is large, so let me sum it up: WHEN THERE AREN'T MANY FEMALES AROUND, UGLY GIRLS ARE SOMETIMES MISTAKEN AS PRETTY
And this is the case with Lyle.
Allow me to give examples.
EXHIBIT A
First off, Lyle's posture is horrible, as you can see by the pink line I've drawn of her posture. No one wants a girl that is going to end up walking slouched over with a cane by the time she's 25. Of course, to some, this isn't an issue, especially when they just want to perform the four F's on her: french her, finger her, fuck her, and forget her.
EXHIBIT B
Look at that fucking chin. Okay, Bruce Campbell can get away with it, but only because he's an actor and actually has talent, unlike someone else I can think of, who, as far as I know, isn't funny and who's chin is featured above.
EXHIBIT C
You might be wondering why I posted this picture as a grounds for saying that Lyle isn't attractive, considering that in this image, she appears to be somewhat attractive. However, let's look at two main detractors of this picture. One, it's in black-and-white; Two, it's blurred. "But Sandamnit, who cares? She still looks attractive to me!" Aha! I knew you'd say that. However, I'm prepared for that statement. Let's take a look at the girl below.
Now, let's blur the picture and make it black-and-white.
See the difference? Blemishes are hidden. Splotchy skin is no longer visible. Bad lighting isn't an issue anymore. Hairlip magically disappears. And the black-and-white makes her appear more artistic and mysterious than the original color does.
EXHIBIT D
I thought about not even putting a comment here and just ending the thread, but I felt it would be in bad taste. Okay. First, cover Lyle's friend with your hand or a piece of paper or something. See the smile? See the chin? Look at her, without breaking concentration for about 45-60 seconds, then remove your hand and look at her friend. After looking at the whole image for 10 seconds, cover her friend up with your hand or whatever and look at Lyle again. Now, imagine waking up next to that face every single morning for the rest of your life. That's what I thought.
I rest my case.
"Legolas grasped onto his bodkin arrow and stroked it steadily. It was but a few moments later that Legolas would let forth a mighty war cry and shoot millions of tiny arrows into Luthien's mouth. Being the expert archer that Legolas was, not a single one of his tiny arrows missed its target."
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Air Bud
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