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Skizzles
INTL Premium Member
Okay, Okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!

I <3 you too.

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Over the weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to wax the dolphin with some olive oil, just for fun.

It kind of fucking sucked, but yea. This morning I wake up to take a piss and it feels like flames are spewing out of my penis. It's kind of like when you get soap in your cock, but this was much fucking worse. So I assume some of the olive oil went into my cock via the "peehole", thus causing this absolutely hellacious burning when I piss.

And it's been burning for about 2 days now, and it's starting to worry me a bit, seeing as how I have taken 6 flaming painful pisses since the incident. So umm, is it doctor time?

I’m the new king, I’ll take the queen...

Hasty Penguin
get in the box
People are a danger to society.

there is a guy who gets it on with three girls at once and they all have amazing unibrows

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No, it's time to use that no-stick urine of yours for baking.

"We two dead apple trees see no possums in the mist of your grandmother."
Theatre on the Edge
My Musical Compositions

Agon
Vodka and Lip Gloss
INTL Best Dressed List

when i finish my cut in a few months i'll show you my shiny new abs.

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In order to answer this question, I must have the backstory behind you jacking off with olive oil.

"I was making lunch when I suddenly became aroused by the erotic poses of the peppers..."

<Imperialist> i want to grow up to be rich homosexual

Vervet
Anti-wiki

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You only pee three times a day?

Das Krokodil lebt!

C
Administrator

Level 90 Ginger

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I hope you have a female doctor who will look at you and call you a dirty, dirty pervert.

And yeah, go to the doctor.

[20:25] <HPenguin> my mom said the most innuendoed thing I've ever heard at a dinner table in my life tonight.
[20:25] <HPenguin> we were making sloppy joes.
[20:25] <HPenguin> and she said "open your buns so I can put the meat in"
[20:25] <the_red_chimp> hahahahahahaha
[20:25] <Byc> haha
[20:25] <MrExcitable> nhahahahaha
[20:25] <IF0> hahaha

Psychotic Astronaut
Background Forummers

Complete fucking idiot. ^______________^

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Quoted from Vervet:
You only pee three times a day?

It hurts him! He's only going to pee when it becomes absolutely necessary!

This is my signature

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex." ~Au

Tyr

I cybered with Kayte

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What the fuck is wrong with you?

Olive oil should be used for spaghetti sauce or delicious calzones, never for your penis.

IB
Stays True to His Name

I should die

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ew, what the fuck is wrong with you?

i don't get the fascination with trying weird things as lube. find something that works and stick with it.

Tyr

I cybered with Kayte

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If you find a good lube there isn't any sticking, IB.

Skizzles
INTL Premium Member
Okay, Okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!

I <3 you too.

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Quoted from Tyr:
What the fuck is wrong with you?

Olive oil should be used for spaghetti sauce or delicious calzones, never for your penis.

I disagree coal

But anyway, if you really want the backstory:

I broke up with my girlfriend about 8 days ago, and it was really sad for me, and I kind of went into some lame pseudo depressing in which I ate very sparingly and didn't beat off for 6 days. Well, not beating off or having a wet dream for 6 days = testicular congestion. Now then, at the time I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA, the middle of fucking no where. We rented out a nice little cabin in the middle of a field, and when I walked into the kitchen, I saw all these bottles, which I at first thought was liquor and wine, but they had a fucking plethora of olive oils and vinegars. Also, ever since I made that thread in TEZ about not being able to beat off with lube, I have completely turned that around, where it seems that I can no longer dry hand it, but can only successfully get off with lube. Weird, I know, and I am not sure why I had such a sudden change on that. But anyway, I sure as hell didn't bring my trusty KY, and I am sitting on this couch by the kitchen at 1 AM with my balls feeling like they're about to burst, trying to dry hand to no avail. So I picked up an olive oil bottle and went at it, and it worked quite well actually.

More than you ever wanted to know.

I’m the new king, I’ll take the queen...

Trofozoito
i post this tag for death INTL no matter ban

Do me, huggy bear!

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There is not medical literature about freaks like you. What the hell should I do? Maybe ciprofluoxacin?

Cthulhu lives!

Tyr

I cybered with Kayte

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Quote:
I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA

You sick asshole.

Mr Pixies
Scuba.

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I think you will be fine, but if it looks like it's getting irritated, then maybe worry.

VAGINIAN
I'm entertained, but I'd rather be enlightened.

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Grow the fuck up, this is the goddamn internet. - Menion

Skizzles
INTL Premium Member
Okay, Okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!

I <3 you too.

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Quoted from Tyr:
Quote:
I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA

You sick asshole.

no man, not that type of road trip, i swear MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

I’m the new king, I’ll take the queen...

Tyr

I cybered with Kayte

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You just happened to pack up the bags and head out with mom to a secluded cabin (read: Hot Springs, VA(gina)) full of oil.

I believe you!

Amphytrite
Hard for Drah

I don't really even like hearing about it or reading about it

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Quoted from Skizzles:
Quoted from Tyr:
Quote:
I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA

You sick asshole.

no man, not that type of road trip, i swear

Yeah okay.
But uh, I'd suggest a trip to the doctor, just to be safe. It doesn't really sound normal, since you're having so much discomfort when you pee.

<emtilt> being a vegetarian is like being gay, you're just born that way

<Zing> Everybody should make love to everybody.

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<Sandamnit> in the last 1.5 years i've accepted donations, ive brought in roughly \$750
Donate.

IF0
Administrator

Hey, I was with Mary Magdalene last night....smell my finger lol

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Bacterial infection.

Would YOU be confident following the political party supported by fucking DRUG ADDICTS? Yeah, that instills a lot of confidence. "Hey guys, after we finish smoking up, let's go vote for Kerry."

Dante

cocks in my mouth

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Quoted from Skizzles:
More than you ever wanted to know.

This is true.

Is it possible that your girlfriend gave you a VD before she broke up with you?

_{"I went to Blowjob, Massachusetts, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...and a blowjob."

-The Daily Show}

NNY
Alcoholics Anonymous
Forum Drunkard

Staying in alone, with my cat.

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Quote:
not beating off or having a wet dream for 6 days = testicular congestion

speak for yourself.

I hate yankees and this is one reason why. Just because you can't pay for 3 hot dogs doesn't mean that the economy is bad and ya'll think that bush is an idiot because he's from Texas. Well f you because he saved your ass from people like Sadam Houssein and don't go thinking i'm just a minupulated trailor trash illiterate for taking up for him because I'm smarter than 90% of the world.

"There's not a lot of cursing, swearing, personal cuts, there's not a lot of put downs, it's not you know screen-fulls of you know "go to hell", it's just surprising."

--- John Allen about "Internet"

Frightening social changes continued! And then the religious right began a righteous backlash! First they accused gays and lesbians of being promiscuous! And when this failed, they began accusing them of having long-term committed monogamous relationships and wanting to get married!

Hasty Penguin
get in the box
People are a danger to society.

there is a guy who gets it on with three girls at once and they all have amazing unibrows

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So after this clears up, are you willing to try other kitchen products?

"We two dead apple trees see no possums in the mist of your grandmother."
Theatre on the Edge
My Musical Compositions

Zing
BRUNET TILL BALD

Purrrfect timing.

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Maybe you accidentally used the vinegar?

*lightnings*

NNY
Alcoholics Anonymous
Forum Drunkard

Staying in alone, with my cat.

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is it really that hard to get real lube? i got some for free. i just had to wait 2-3 weeks for delivery.

Unmotivated

My G-d is offended by the letter o.

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My suggestion would be to check to see if there's any handcream around before breaking out the condiments.

ba
INTL Premium Member
Captain of the Cool Kids

and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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I'm pretty sure the label on the bottle warns against this sort of thing.

~British[/whisper] Agent
[whisper]"Plan B. Still breathing? Now we gotta make the best of it, improvise, adapt to the environment, Darwin, shit happens, I Ching, whatever man, we gotta roll with it."
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Angus

D'oh!

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I've used it before with no harm. (but it was extra virgin)

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