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Skizzles
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(Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:26:38 PM)
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Over the weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to wax the dolphin with some olive oil, just for fun.

It kind of fucking sucked, but yea. This morning I wake up to take a piss and it feels like flames are spewing out of my penis. It's kind of like when you get soap in your cock, but this was much fucking worse. So I assume some of the olive oil went into my cock via the "peehole", thus causing this absolutely hellacious burning when I piss.

And it's been burning for about 2 days now, and it's starting to worry me a bit, seeing as how I have taken 6 flaming painful pisses since the incident. So umm, is it doctor time?
I知 the new king, I値l take the queen...
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Reply 1 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:28:02 PM)
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No, it's time to use that no-stick urine of yours for baking.
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Reply 2 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:30:13 PM)
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In order to answer this question, I must have the backstory behind you jacking off with olive oil.

"I was making lunch when I suddenly became aroused by the erotic poses of the peppers..."
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Reply 3 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:41:21 PM)
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You only pee three times a day?
Das Krokodil lebt!
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Reply 4 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:42:52 PM)
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I hope you have a female doctor who will look at you and call you a dirty, dirty pervert.

And yeah, go to the doctor.
[20:25] <HPenguin> my mom said the most innuendoed thing I've ever heard at a dinner table in my life tonight.
[20:25] <HPenguin> we were making sloppy joes.
[20:25] <HPenguin> and she said "open your buns so I can put the meat in"
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Reply 5 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:43:58 PM)
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Quoted from Vervet:
You only pee three times a day?


It hurts him! He's only going to pee when it becomes absolutely necessary!
This is my signature

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex." ~Au
Tyr

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Reply 6 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:45:43 PM)
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What the fuck is wrong with you?

Olive oil should be used for spaghetti sauce or delicious calzones, never for your penis.
IB
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Reply 7 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:48:16 PM)
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ew, what the fuck is wrong with you?

i don't get the fascination with trying weird things as lube. find something that works and stick with it.
Tyr

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Reply 8 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:48:57 PM)
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If you find a good lube there isn't any sticking, IB.
Skizzles
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Reply 9 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:51:58 PM)
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Quoted from Tyr:
What the fuck is wrong with you?

Olive oil should be used for spaghetti sauce or delicious calzones, never for your penis.


I disagree coal

But anyway, if you really want the backstory:

I broke up with my girlfriend about 8 days ago, and it was really sad for me, and I kind of went into some lame pseudo depressing in which I ate very sparingly and didn't beat off for 6 days. Well, not beating off or having a wet dream for 6 days = testicular congestion. Now then, at the time I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA, the middle of fucking no where. We rented out a nice little cabin in the middle of a field, and when I walked into the kitchen, I saw all these bottles, which I at first thought was liquor and wine, but they had a fucking plethora of olive oils and vinegars. Also, ever since I made that thread in TEZ about not being able to beat off with lube, I have completely turned that around, where it seems that I can no longer dry hand it, but can only successfully get off with lube. Weird, I know, and I am not sure why I had such a sudden change on that. But anyway, I sure as hell didn't bring my trusty KY, and I am sitting on this couch by the kitchen at 1 AM with my balls feeling like they're about to burst, trying to dry hand to no avail. So I picked up an olive oil bottle and went at it, and it worked quite well actually.

More than you ever wanted to know.
I知 the new king, I値l take the queen...
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Reply 10 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:52:36 PM)
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There is not medical literature about freaks like you. What the hell should I do? Maybe ciprofluoxacin?
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Tyr

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Reply 11 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:53:56 PM)
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Quote:
I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA


You sick asshole.
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Reply 12 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:54:36 PM)
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I think you will be fine, but if it looks like it's getting irritated, then maybe worry.
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Skizzles
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Okay, Okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!

I <3 you too.

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Reply 13 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:55:36 PM)
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Quoted from Tyr:
Quote:
I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA


You sick asshole.


no man, not that type of road trip, i swear MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS
I知 the new king, I値l take the queen...
Tyr

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Reply 14 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 05:56:59 PM)
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You just happened to pack up the bags and head out with mom to a secluded cabin (read: Hot Springs, VA(gina)) full of oil.

I believe you!
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Reply 15 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:05:33 PM)
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Quoted from Skizzles:
Quoted from Tyr:
Quote:
I was on a road trip with my mom to Hot Springs VA


You sick asshole.


no man, not that type of road trip, i swear MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

Yeah okay.
But uh, I'd suggest a trip to the doctor, just to be safe. It doesn't really sound normal, since you're having so much discomfort when you pee.
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Reply 16 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:06:35 PM)
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Bacterial infection.
Would YOU be confident following the political party supported by fucking DRUG ADDICTS? Yeah, that instills a lot of confidence. "Hey guys, after we finish smoking up, let's go vote for Kerry."
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Reply 17 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:08:30 PM)
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Quoted from Skizzles:
More than you ever wanted to know.
This is true.

Is it possible that your girlfriend gave you a VD before she broke up with you?
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Reply 18 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:09:24 PM)
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Quote:
not beating off or having a wet dream for 6 days = testicular congestion

speak for yourself.
I hate yankees and this is one reason why. Just because you can't pay for 3 hot dogs doesn't mean that the economy is bad and ya'll think that bush is an idiot because he's from Texas. Well f you because he saved your ass from people like Sadam Houssein and don't go thinking i'm just a minupulated trailor trash illiterate for taking up for him because I'm smarter than 90% of the world.

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Frightening social changes continued! And then the religious right began a righteous backlash! First they accused gays and lesbians of being promiscuous! And when this failed, they began accusing them of having long-term committed monogamous relationships and wanting to get married!
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Reply 19 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:25:32 PM)
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So after this clears up, are you willing to try other kitchen products?
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Purrrfect timing.

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Reply 20 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:25:36 PM)
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Maybe you accidentally used the vinegar?
*lightnings*
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Reply 21 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:28:18 PM)
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is it really that hard to get real lube? i got some for free. i just had to wait 2-3 weeks for delivery.
I hate yankees and this is one reason why. Just because you can't pay for 3 hot dogs doesn't mean that the economy is bad and ya'll think that bush is an idiot because he's from Texas. Well f you because he saved your ass from people like Sadam Houssein and don't go thinking i'm just a minupulated trailor trash illiterate for taking up for him because I'm smarter than 90% of the world.

"There's not a lot of cursing, swearing, personal cuts, there's not a lot of put downs, it's not you know screen-fulls of you know "go to hell", it's just surprising."

--- John Allen about "Internet"

Frightening social changes continued! And then the religious right began a righteous backlash! First they accused gays and lesbians of being promiscuous! And when this failed, they began accusing them of having long-term committed monogamous relationships and wanting to get married!
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Reply 22 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:34:48 PM)
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My suggestion would be to check to see if there's any handcream around before breaking out the condiments.
ba
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and i said, a\re you a gay ass fucker who can't take a baseball up the ass you faggot???? and he said yes........

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Reply 23 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:41:23 PM)
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I'm pretty sure the label on the bottle warns against this sort of thing.
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Reply 24 of 68 (Originally posted on: 11-21-04 06:46:13 PM)
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I've used it before with no harm. (but it was extra virgin)
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