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peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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(Originally posted on: 09-15-02 01:55:39 PM)
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Hardest. Conversation. Ever.

I'm still sort of crying (read:bawling) about it.
buck futter!
Mr Pixies
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Reply 1 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 02:11:32 PM)
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Were they mad, upset? Feel better.
Excuse me while I puke and die.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 2 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 02:20:49 PM)
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They are sort of upset, but they've suspected it for some time now. They don't understand it (my mom's the worst) but they're honestly trying for me and that means a lot.
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Reply 3 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 02:26:48 PM)
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:: hug ::

Love you.

Don't know what else to say.
Zuri Zuri Zuri Zuri!!!
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Reply 4 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 03:47:03 PM)
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I'm sorry.

I'd also like to say I respect you all the more for having the courage to tell them, knowing they wouldn't react well.
"And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.
For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." Ecc 1:17-18
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 5 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 04:00:20 PM)
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Thanks Guru, And Zuri too, it really did take a lot of strength to let go of my fear and take a step forward like that. It's like I was living a lie... I don't know, I do feel better now, but they want to talk about it a lot now, which isn't the most comfortable thing in the world. *sigh*

And Hessian, honestly, this is Serious Discussions.
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Reply 6 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 05:03:19 PM)
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My mom would love it if I told her I'm gay.

but good for you, you had to tell them at some point of course, but why now? if you don't mind my asking.
Desperation -> d espE RAtI on -> A Repo Edsn It -> A Rope Ends It
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 7 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 05:19:11 PM)
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Well, we were in an arguement, and I've been feeling really, really lonely lately, and they don't understand why. Most of the reason is that my friends from in town here, they don't hang around with me anymore because I'm bisexual. Most of the guys are cool with it, but the girls are freaked out and talk about me behind my back and that sort of thing, so we've all drifted apart.
So... This is a contributing factor, but there are others, anyway, I've been talking more and more with people from the forums on the phone, a lot of which are american (read: enormous long distance bill) so that's what the arguement was about. I tried to tell them how I felt so lonely (it's really an isolated life. Hearing friends, family, community members shun your way of life makes you feel like you have no family, no friends, no community, like you are all alone) oh yeah, and a lot of my good friends moved away to go to university. Anyway, so we were argueing, and I've been wanting to say it for awhile, and I finally just said it outright.
*bites lip* It was... surprisingly painful.
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Reply 8 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 06:07:36 PM)
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wa, good for you dani!! im sorry it was so painful, but it had to be done.
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Reply 9 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 08:12:29 PM)
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Wow. I certainly respect you for having the courage to tell them. Its gotta be hard. I am sorry that it is so painful, and that you feel so lonely. That really takes guts.

are you confused yet?
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Reply 10 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 09:07:15 PM)
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On the bright side, you don't have to have it on your conscience that you are hiding it anymore.

BTW, I was under the impression they knew. :{
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Reply 11 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 10:06:45 PM)
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Wow, that must be hard. I kind of went through the same thing when I told my parents I was a Buddhist. At least my parents were understanding. But congratulations on finnaly telling them.
*gives you a cookie*
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 12 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 11:02:23 PM)
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Fishmanpet, ....
It's VERY different then telling your parents you're of a different religion. I told my mom that I'm atheist awhile ago and... yeah, she was heartbroken and sort of cried a bit (My mom doesn't really cry that much) but I guess you were just trying to see my side of it.

Tartarus, uhm, no, I'm pretty sure they didn't know. They had suspicions, but I only told them today.

And thanks everyone, it does feel a little better now that it's out. I feel less satsified then I thought I would. One wierd thing is that when we're watching a movie and I say some lady is really gorgeous or pretty or awesome or something, they won't just *suspect* something, they'll be well aware of the sexual fantasies I'd be having.
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Reply 13 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 01:45:01 AM)
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*hugs dani*

I don't have anything to say really, but that must have been hard. :/
I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 14 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 02:10:23 AM)
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Yeah, thanks.

I don't know... It's not like I need your sympathy, I have it better then a lot of gay people, or a lot of other minorities, for that matter. It just felt good to get it off my chest, I guess this thread was about honesty. It was a hard step, but I can't feel sorry for myself over it, or I'll never get over it myself.
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Balder Olafson

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Reply 15 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 04:29:58 AM)
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Quoted from danielle:
Most of the guys are cool with it, but the girls are freaked out and talk about me behind my back and that sort of thing, so we've all drifted apart.

Balder Olafson

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Reply 16 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 04:32:28 AM)
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[q=danielle]Most of the guys are cool with it, but the girls are freaked out and talk about me behind my back and that sort of thing, so we've all drifted apart.
q]
Must have been hard indeed.
At least now you know who your friends are.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 17 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 04:35:12 AM)
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if you're still here, you may want to fix your quote tags. And yeah, it was sort of hard, but... Everyone goes through shit like this on different levels.

A little something:
Quoted from Chasing Amy:
ALYSSA Ive given that a lot of thought, you know? I mean, now that Im being ostracized by my friends, Ive had a lot of time to think about all of this. And what Ive come up with is really simple: I came to this on my terms. I didnt just heed what I was taught, you know? Men and women should be together, its the natural way - that kind of thing. Im not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is - how seldom you meet that one person who gets you... its so rare. My parents didnt really have it. There was no example set for me in the world of male/female relation ships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person - to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender... that just seemed stupid. So I didnt. And by leaving my options open, I was branded gay, which to me was no big deal - labels are labels, you know? They define what you do, not who you are, I guess. But then you come along. You - the one least likely; I mean, you were a guy.

HOLDEN Still am.

ALYSSA And while I was falling for you, I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place - to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person whod compliment me so completely. And so here we are, I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms - because I got here on my terms, and have no question that there was someplace I didnt look. And that makes all the difference.


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Balder Olafson

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Reply 18 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 04:59:52 AM)
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I guess your parents need time to realize that you still are who you are.
I have the impression that here (in Belgium) being gay is less dificult now than it was ten, twenty years ago.
People DO learn you know.

Even I will handle those tags correctly, one day ...
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Reply 19 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 05:57:13 AM)
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I hope everything works out for you Dani.
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Reply 20 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 06:49:54 AM)
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Dani, I have to say you have more courage than me. If I were to tell my mother that I were an atheist, she'd disown me. She's a very religious Greek Orthodox Christian, and frankly, I am too afraid to say that to her and make her angry, frustrated, and unhappy...

I praise you for your courage, and I hope it all goes well for you. Cheers!

*comforts dani with a hug*

And, I am cool with that fact, of course! But bisexuals probably shouldn't be classified as gay, unless zuri made you lean completely on women. :p
*is Greek, nonetheless*
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Reply 21 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 02:30:21 PM)
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Wow, well, most of what I was going to say has been said. That took extreme amounts of courage, especially since you had a good idea how your parents would react. I think it's really for the best. It's better than going through life living a lie of sorts, and it's better for your parents to find out from you then some other way. And if your friends don't want to be your friends because you're bisexual, then they aren't your friends.

Quote:
They don't understand it (my mom's the worst) but they're honestly trying for me and that means a lot.


As long as they're trying, everything should be alright. You kind of have to understand how they feel in a situation like this. It's a big shock and they probably don't know how to deal with it. Their generation wasn't really exposed to homosexuality as much as our generation was. For us, it's everywhere, so homosexuality isn't really that big of a deal for us. When they were younger it was a lot less accepted then it is today. Today we've got gay comedians, actors and so on.

I'm sure it'll all work out in the end.
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peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 22 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-16-02 11:51:59 PM)
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Yeah.

I don't know, small things make it hard, but overall, it's reasonably easy. I don't live weeks at a time, I live minutes, seconds at a time, and each time my mom says something that offends me, I sort of take it in stride; if I were to look at a summation of everything she's ever said, I'd cry till I was crying blood (lets pretend that's possible) but I don't, because that'd be stupid. Many people have had it worse then me, so I just swallow my pride and understand what it's like. I won't pretend that I try to see how my parents see it, because ... It's like taking a step down. My Mom takes an ACTIVE role in keeping a closed mind. She doesn't watch interesting TV shows or anything just to expand herself in any way, she's just been comfortable living in our town; this microcosm of the world that is horrible misrepresentative of the population of the world. She only has a certain sort of friend, and looks down on EVERYONE, like my aunt and uncle for being *too* close with his parents, or my cousin for painting his nails. I understand that it's hard for them, but people keep telling me to try to see life as my mom see's it, and I absolutely refuse. There is just no way that I'm going totry to envision myself as so closed minded. I don't know, just the way people word that makes me angry sometimes. I can understand that she's from a different generation, but I've grown up in a place/time where it still isn't well accepted. I don't know, fuck. Now I'm just in a bad mood.
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Reply 23 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-17-02 08:51:14 AM)
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Cheer up, danielle.
Being happy is probably the only way to convince her you are NOT trowing your life away, etc...
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Reply 24 of 38 (Originally posted on: 09-17-02 02:03:05 PM)
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I replied in SPSW and told you on ICQ, but stay proud and strong.
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