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Stoffel
stoffel sucks; 3ms owns + is returning for round 2 lightening round bioch

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(Originally posted on: 09-14-02 12:03:06 PM)
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Yesterday afternoon I was bored as shit, and saw this commercial on TV for a church singles club that night, to find others who are "as strong in thier faith at you." I got a really evil idea in my head, so I dug through my closet, found some of my old goth type clothes, put on some eyeliner and mascara(didnt have black lipstick), and went down to the church at the desired time.I got all kinds of freaky looks, no one talked to me, and eveeryone stayed like ten feet away from me as we entered a room where we were supposed to introduce ourselves. When it was my turn, I introduced my self by saying "Hi, my name is Stan. I enjoy body piercings, death metal, cult readings, and ritual sacrifice. I am looking for a virgin under the age of 21 for a special purpose." Well, as you can imagine, that didnt go over too well. Some guy came up behind me and with a lowered voice told me that I needed to follow him. I yelled out kinda loud "No I will not follow you! I must have a virgin to complete the ritual!" He tried to grab my arm and I jumped back and started running backwards to the door, and got the idea to yell "The time is coming! I am your god!" and took off out the door because I couldnt keep from laughing anymore. I could barely breath when I got in my truck I was laughing so hard. It made my mascara run. :p

I dont know what gave me the idea to do that, maybe it was the fact that I had drank a bunch of wine yesterday. Anyways, it seemed funny at the time, but you probably had to be there.
"...Stoffel is the Texan void of all-consumption where all our sexual chances go..." Tyr.
Blue Fire Armoury
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Reply 1 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 12:24:18 PM)
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I can make up fake stories too.
Stoffel
stoffel sucks; 3ms owns + is returning for round 2 lightening round bioch

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Reply 2 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 12:29:05 PM)
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Damn you! How did you find out?

No, its not fake. I do crazy stuff like that all the time, just not to that extreme. Thursday I drove around and got homeless people to pose for me while I took a picture of them.
"...Stoffel is the Texan void of all-consumption where all our sexual chances go..." Tyr.
Blue Fire Armoury
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Reply 3 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 12:30:51 PM)
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Well in that case, good story if it's fake or not. I don't care, I was entertained.

By the way, you should of brought a pineapple to throw at them, just a thought.
Stoffel
stoffel sucks; 3ms owns + is returning for round 2 lightening round bioch

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Reply 4 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 12:42:18 PM)
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At first I thought I would give you bad karma for calling me a liar, but the pinnapple idea shows some level of intelegence, so I must ask, who are you?
"...Stoffel is the Texan void of all-consumption where all our sexual chances go..." Tyr.
Blue Fire Armoury
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Kitabatake
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Reply 5 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 12:59:58 PM)
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I have a picture of myself throwing a pinapple in that famous quarterback pose.
Once I walked a yellow brick road,
Now only to sit alone.
My yellow feild, turning brown,
I stand gauntly, staring to the east;
Hoping for a glimpse of the fair child.
Tyr

I cybered with Kayte

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Reply 6 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 01:43:54 PM)
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I have a picture of me standing in that famous standing pose.
"I always breathe normally in a 400 mile-an-hour, uncontrolled vertical dive. I also shit normally. RIGHT IN MY PANTS!!!"-George Carlin
Alyantis
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Reply 7 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 02:52:13 PM)
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Good story, true or not, I too was entertained. *gives + karma to stoffel*
I'm an agnostic catholic... if that's possible...


Some quote should go here, who wants it?
ColdLine

LBH was here.

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Reply 8 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 03:23:02 PM)
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yea, very intertaining. it made me chuckle. + karma for stoffle and his helmet...
Check Out my DeviantArt profile:http://coldline.deviantart.com

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Stoffel
stoffel sucks; 3ms owns + is returning for round 2 lightening round bioch

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Reply 9 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 03:56:52 PM)
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God damnit! Believe me you fuckers!

:p
"...Stoffel is the Texan void of all-consumption where all our sexual chances go..." Tyr.
Blue Fire Armoury
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Fisher
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jhsdfi;loiha

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Reply 10 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 04:01:04 PM)
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I'm not doubting you
This post brought to you by the letters F and U

old.jimmy
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Reply 11 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 04:07:47 PM)
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now explain to me why exactly you did this?
omg, i'm so lolol.
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Ztolk
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Rawr.

definitely threw the blue lego

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Reply 12 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 05:53:10 PM)
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You are a genious. With a capitol J.
10% Of your recommended daily dose of Jew
Stoffel
stoffel sucks; 3ms owns + is returning for round 2 lightening round bioch

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Reply 13 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 06:06:34 PM)
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Quoted from jimmy:
now explain to me why exactly you did this?


I was bored and bordering on intoxicated.
"...Stoffel is the Texan void of all-consumption where all our sexual chances go..." Tyr.
Blue Fire Armoury
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Magus

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Reply 14 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 06:51:07 PM)
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Just hope that they don't form a witch hunt to find you. :p
*is Greek, nonetheless*
asthetik
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making jabs at each other is what the internet is for you fucking idiots. oh, and for stealing things.

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Reply 15 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 07:17:24 PM)
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Bah, he could kick their collective Jesus-worshipping asses.
Mr Pixies
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Reply 16 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 07:56:48 PM)
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Stoffel, I believe and congratulate you.
Excuse me while I puke and die.
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Reply 17 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 08:45:30 PM)
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This tale contains 100% of my recommended daily intake of HILARITY! Unfortunately it lacked carbohydrates and Vitamin D.
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oh

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Reply 18 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-14-02 08:46:16 PM)
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If true: You put far too much effort into plans that are kind of boring because you do them by yourself. Also: make-up is really, really homosexual.

If false (which is most likely): I guess it's funny in theory, but it's nothing amazing.
Zealotry from Rome to Mecca, millions more become infected - God cannot be mass projected, or beaten out through forced confession. It's for all of us to ponder, not for dogma's chain to hold us down. Wake up and put the past where it belongs - Dying Fetus
old.jimmy
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Reply 19 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 11:35:28 AM)
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it's just as funny as a couple of mormon missionaries knocking down his door, screaming "give your life to jesus!" and then running out. it's funny for the parties involved, but everyone else just kind of goes, "WTF?"
omg, i'm so lolol.
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Reply 20 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 12:54:34 PM)
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Quoted from Stoffel:
...I could barely breath when I got in my truck I was laughing so hard.


amusing, yes, but the word you were looking for was breathe.

mirthalac, INTL's spelling Nazi since 1933!
Bobby Crosby
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Reply 21 of 21 (Originally posted on: 09-15-02 01:52:09 PM)
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I liked the church camp one better.
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