Quoted from Mississippi Tribune:

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Pretzel Scam Foiled
10/01/2002

A video leaked to the FBI this week has uncovered a terrorist plot to attack the very head of the United States, President George W. Bush. Several members of the Al Queda terrorist network, including high ups such as Osama Bin Laden and the Islamic deity ‘Allah’ have been caught on video tape plotting to hijack a ‘Wetzel’s Pretzels’ factory and use it’s facilities to bake the worlds largest pretzel to send to President Bush. This comes just weeks after a football game and a bowl of Pretzels almost ended the Presidents life. The plans for the pretzel, almost 2 feet in diameter, were also leaked. An excerpt from the video is as follows:

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Osama Bin Laden: ... And then we arm them with some sticks and hijack the factory. Then we will have a matter of minutes to start the machines, cook the mixture and create a pretzel that will destroy the world!
Allah: Good, Good. Then we simply send him the Pretzel, he dies and everyone will love me again! Hooray!
Osama Bin Laden's Mum: Hello boys! I made brownies!
Osama Bin Laden: Mum! Not while the video camera is running
Osama Bin Laden's Mum: Dont leave the tape behind this time.
Osama Bin Laden: I wont, I want to send it to funny home videos!
Allah: Go now! In the Name of me! Yay I get a kick out of saying that
Osama bin Laden: I already turned the camera off.
Allah: Dammit, really?

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President Bush has since been moved to an undisclosed location and all salt based snacks have been banned. “He’ll be alive, healthy and we’ll expect to reduce his cholesterol” one Secret Service agent said.

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Quote:

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This is getting freaky.

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