Wandering Idiot
INTL Premium Member
 Surely something dumber has come up since my apparent forgetfulness for STDs and doctor visits.
Ballkicks: (+257 / -16)
Posts: 2130 (0.333)
Reg. Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arms' reach of my wifes' bitchslap
Gender: Male |
(Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:13:26 PM)
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This is the story of my stomach and the biggest burger I've ever encountered. Oh, sure, the Hardee's Double Six Dollar Burger is big, but it holds no competition to the sheer mass of the Fat Mo's 27oz. supreme beast of a burger. Never in my life has my stomach had to hold up to such a challenge. Could it handle it? Keep reading.
This is Fat Mo's on HWY 96, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. There's about 10 of these in the central Tennessee area.

Fat Mo's is the place in central Tennessee where burger-building legends are made. Many people have attempted to slam down the massive beast produced by these good people for $8.09, but those who succeed are truly a special breed.
What do we have here?

The beast was so anxious to get out that it's transportation device had to be secured with packaging tape. The drive back to my friend's apartment was very nerve-racking, as I could not wait to bust the box open and dig into the pile of beef like a ravaging coyote fresh off a hunger strike.
What a beautiful stack of beef.

Notice the pepper dispenser. It was shaking with terror (and wonderfully delicious seasoning) at the pure mass of meat that was in it's presence.
Five bites in....

This is the damage done by five IMMENSE bites. I practically choked a few times attempting to dent this insane stack. This was going to be a battle for my stomach's record book.
As it falls apart....

I struggled to hold the mammoth together. It was beginning to shred itself thanks to the grease and worthless bun.
Fork Time.

There was no way around the inevitable. I had held out as long as possible, but the use of a utensil was still a necessity in the end (middle, actually).
The Mess.

I gave up on the fork at times to go at it bare-handed. This method of attack proved to be more messy. However, it was more rewarding knowing that I was not a slave to my stainless steel stabbing device.
The Ruins.

On this bun, on this plate, once stood the biggest burger I've ever seen. Now, a majority of it is working its way down my esophagus to my ever-stretching stomach.
The Leftovers.

Damn the peppers. They were simply too hot for my tender tongue to touch after making my way through the beast, so I left them for the garbage.
The crowd goes wild.

Yes, yes, it was an amazing spectacle. In the end, my stomach won the battle of the burger and about 1/4 of the fries, along with the 32oz Mountain Dew to wash it all down.

Ah, fullness.....
This concludes my tale of eating (for the time being). I hope you all enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed eating that burger (however, I didn't enjoy the bathroom visit later that evening, but that's a different story).
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
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