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Wandering Idiot
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(Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:13:26 PM)
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This is the story of my stomach and the biggest burger I've ever encountered. Oh, sure, the Hardee's Double Six Dollar Burger is big, but it holds no competition to the sheer mass of the Fat Mo's 27oz. supreme beast of a burger. Never in my life has my stomach had to hold up to such a challenge. Could it handle it? Keep reading.

This is Fat Mo's on HWY 96, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. There's about 10 of these in the central Tennessee area.


Fat Mo's is the place in central Tennessee where burger-building legends are made. Many people have attempted to slam down the massive beast produced by these good people for $8.09, but those who succeed are truly a special breed.

What do we have here?


The beast was so anxious to get out that it's transportation device had to be secured with packaging tape. The drive back to my friend's apartment was very nerve-racking, as I could not wait to bust the box open and dig into the pile of beef like a ravaging coyote fresh off a hunger strike.

What a beautiful stack of beef.


Notice the pepper dispenser. It was shaking with terror (and wonderfully delicious seasoning) at the pure mass of meat that was in it's presence.

Five bites in....

This is the damage done by five IMMENSE bites. I practically choked a few times attempting to dent this insane stack. This was going to be a battle for my stomach's record book.

As it falls apart....

I struggled to hold the mammoth together. It was beginning to shred itself thanks to the grease and worthless bun.

Fork Time.

There was no way around the inevitable. I had held out as long as possible, but the use of a utensil was still a necessity in the end (middle, actually).

The Mess.

I gave up on the fork at times to go at it bare-handed. This method of attack proved to be more messy. However, it was more rewarding knowing that I was not a slave to my stainless steel stabbing device.

The Ruins.

On this bun, on this plate, once stood the biggest burger I've ever seen. Now, a majority of it is working its way down my esophagus to my ever-stretching stomach.

The Leftovers.

Damn the peppers. They were simply too hot for my tender tongue to touch after making my way through the beast, so I left them for the garbage.

The crowd goes wild.

Yes, yes, it was an amazing spectacle. In the end, my stomach won the battle of the burger and about 1/4 of the fries, along with the 32oz Mountain Dew to wash it all down.



Ah, fullness.....


This concludes my tale of eating (for the time being). I hope you all enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed eating that burger (however, I didn't enjoy the bathroom visit later that evening, but that's a different story).
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
Mr Excitable
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Reply 1 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:16:22 PM)
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I salute you sir, you have done your country and everyone at INTL proud.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them - Dave Barry

NNY - target is more dangerous than rugby
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 2 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:17:09 PM)
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Quoted from Mr Excitable:
I salute you sir, you have done your country and everyone at INTL proud.

Just doing my duty as a hungry soldier.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
jimmy
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Reply 3 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:17:40 PM)
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It's a good thing you're wearing your dog tags in case you step on a land mine in Tennessee.
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 4 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:19:20 PM)
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Quoted from awkward jimmy:
It's a good thing you're wearing your dog tags in case you step on a land mine in Tennessee.

I'm actually more worried about the hillbillies running around with RPGs and .50cal rifles. Those bastards frighten me.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
C
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Reply 5 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:20:17 PM)
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You did good son. You can die with honor.
Governor Pataki on Kerry-
"This is a candidate who has to Google his own name to see where he stands."
Wandering Idiot
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Surely something dumber has come up since my apparent forgetfulness for STDs and doctor visits.

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Reply 6 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:22:57 PM)
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My heart will encrust itself with glorious cholestoral (sp?) and I look forward to dying my instant death due to a massive coronary.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
C
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Reply 7 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:25:08 PM)
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You can fix that by eating oatmeal. After the first 30 days, it begins to remove cholesterol from your system.
Governor Pataki on Kerry-
"This is a candidate who has to Google his own name to see where he stands."
Air Bud
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Reply 8 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:25:09 PM)
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Quoted from awkward jimmy:
It's a good thing you're wearing your dog tags in case you step on a land mine in Tennessee.
Dog tags are more for identifying blood type and allergies in case you pass out or something and they need to do a blood transfusion or give you medication.
No.
Mr Excitable
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Reply 9 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:25:24 PM)
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congressional medal of honour .....damn it he should get it for that brave act. If he didnt eat that burger someone else would have an endangered their heart.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them - Dave Barry

NNY - target is more dangerous than rugby
Fisher
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Reply 10 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:26:02 PM)
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That burger looks so fucking good.
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 11 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:28:54 PM)
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Quoted from Fisher:
That burger looks so fucking good.


With the Jalepenos, mushrooms, cheese, lettuce, tomato and barbeque sauce (which I had removed to prevent mess), it's the most delicious thing I've eaten in months. Mmmmmm.....
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
Air Bud
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Reply 12 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:30:14 PM)
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Quoted from Wandering Idiot:
(however, I didn't enjoy the bathroom visit later that evening, but that's a different story).
If I were still your roommate, I wouldn't have enjoyed your bathroom visit later that evening either.
No.
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 13 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:31:40 PM)
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Thankfully, I left my lincoln logs in my friend's apartment bathroom. Needless to say, he was glad there was a second restroom in the apartment.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
C
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Reply 14 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:32:28 PM)
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You should've lit a match. That burns the smell off pretty quickly.
Governor Pataki on Kerry-
"This is a candidate who has to Google his own name to see where he stands."
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 15 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:35:10 PM)
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I enjoy making people suffer, so no matches were to be lit.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
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Reply 16 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:41:18 PM)
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You'd like this place I work at, we have huge burgers. A few days ago some guy got a triple patty burger with no bun. Weird. He was a big guy, though.
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 17 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:43:21 PM)
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Maybe he was on Atkins. What a shitty, diseased diet it is. But yes, any place with big burgers is the place for my slow enlarging ass to be.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
drahnier
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Reply 18 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:48:14 PM)
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That's an impressive burger.
It looks fucking delicious, too.

Fat Mo's should open restaurants in Sweden.
I'd go there like every day instead of always having a Big Mac, a cheeseburger and fries at McDonalds like i do now.
"Ack längtansvärda och bortskymda skjul, under de susande grenar.
Där tid och döden, en skönhet och ful, till ett stoft förenar.
Till dig aldrig avund sökt någon stig, lyckan eljest uti flykten så vig, aldrig kring grifterna ilar.
Ovän där väpnad, vad synes väl dig, bryter fromt sina pilar."
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 19 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 09:51:04 PM)
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Unfortunately, it's only a Nashville area resturant chain. It's growing, but rather slowly.

Here's a little news link I found about the resturant chain.
http://www.tennessean.com/business/archives/04/02/46390255.shtml
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
Bill
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Reply 20 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 10:13:18 PM)
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Quoted from anaemic royalty:
That's an impressive burger.
It looks fucking delicious, too.

Fat Mo's should open restaurants in Sweden.
I'd go there like every day instead of always having a Big Mac, a cheeseburger and fries at McDonalds like i do now.


Start getting the double quarter pounder. (THAT IS 1/2 OF A POUND, for you EURO TYPES). It is delicious.
kayte
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Reply 21 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 10:14:24 PM)
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+K for a classic David and Goliath story. I salute you and your iron will.

That burger looks fabulously delicious too.
jimmy
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Reply 22 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 10:14:55 PM)
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Quoted from Sandamnit:
Quoted from awkward jimmy:
It's a good thing you're wearing your dog tags in case you step on a land mine in Tennessee.
Dog tags are more for identifying blood type and allergies in case you pass out or something and they need to do a blood transfusion or give you medication.


Like, say, after you pass out from eating a burger the size of your head?
Wandering Idiot
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Reply 23 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 11:08:44 PM)
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That's a possibility, but I'm sure they're really for when you eat 2 pizzas, chow down on some hallucinagenic mushrooms and watch The Time Machine. Surefire way to get yourself a heart attack there.

Thanks for the +k, Kayte, and whomever else tossed one in there as well.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
Amiodarone
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Reply 24 of 43 (Originally posted on: 09-12-04 11:10:01 PM)
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Do they have diffrent types of these giants? or diffrent things I can have put on them?
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