INTL Dating Service Part II: The Dates



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Zippo
pooooooop

Leveling entire cities with her magnificient girl-cock

Ballkicks: (+1097 / -49)
Posts: 5302 (0.823)
Reg. Date: Nov 2002
Location: America's Wang
Gender: Unspecified

The drawing for the INTL couples has been completed. You will be notified of your match by Private Message momentarily.

You now have TWO weeks to contact your match and go on your date.

To make things more interesting and to give you a little more direction, a date location has also been chosen at random for each couple. Furthermore, several of the couples have been arbitrarily awarded a WILD CARD (thanks, Dani)[/w] in which each person on the date must represent themselves as the opposite gender. Surprise!

Some guidelines for your date:

1. Both members of the couple must be present on the date. Duh.
2. The date must last at least fifteen minutes. Awkward silences included.
3. The date should be comprised of both dialogue and *action.*
4. For this exercise, you are required to:
- introduce yourself to your date
- compliment your date
- subtly refer to your date location
- complete the WILD CARD task (if applicable)
- do two of the following four:

5. Outside of the above, you have complete creative license and control over your date.

Once you have completed the date, post the highlights and/or the required actions in this thread for the rest of us to see! Use the whisper tags.

On a final note, don't forget that the purpose of this project is to interact and learn more about each other while having some fun.

ENJOY.

[w]Note: Smokey is disqualified because he managed to get himself banned (and if I really wanted to be anal, he never confirmed his participation). I will be going on a date in his stead.

EDIT - Extended deadline.

God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.

This reply was last edited on 07-14-04 02:13:55 PM by Zippo.

Mr Excitable
INTL Premium Member
My girlfriend is the Michelin Man

Ballkicks: (+514 / -60)
Posts: 3218 (0.505)
Reg. Date: Jan 2003
Location:
Gender: Male

Orginally myself and LBH were pared up...the msn date chat thing was going well...up till this point

In order to obtain a grade, you will need to retake the missed test. says:
where do you want to go now?
El Diablo says:
Actually i got to jump off msn...save this convo and we can start off later and post it or something
In order to obtain a grade, you will need to retake the missed test. says:
I don't have anything I can masturbate to yet...
El Diablo says:
Okay I think were done

You can baptize a cat, you just need to use a burlap sack.

I want a sandwich named after me - Jon Stewart

greek_marquis

Zippo would love to eat feces with me

Ballkicks: (+52 / -11)
Posts: 217 (0.037)
Reg. Date: Jul 2004
Location:
Gender: Unspecified

Awe, too bad I joined too late.

It would have been humorous to be apart of this.

bother

LBH was here.

Ballkicks: (+108 / -25)
Posts: 504 (0.081)
Reg. Date: Jul 2003
Location: sunny england
Gender: Male

wait, so we're not actually trying to become romantically entwined with strangers living half-way across the planet? this is all a game?! now i'm disappointed.

flaming arrow
INTL Premium Member

old time judge suck cock

Ballkicks: (+1266 / -281)
Posts: 18725 (2.802)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location:
Gender: Female

[18:06] Flaming Arrow 55: hey sexy, i'm your date LOL IM SUCH A FAG!!

[18:06] Flaming Arrow 55: my name is flaming arrow, what's your's?
[18:06] Amon Amuff: uh...hi.
[18:06] Amon Amuff: you can call me PR
[18:06] Flaming Arrow 55: nice name
[18:07] Flaming Arrow 55: i like your skirt
[18:07] Amon Amuff: well i wouldnt call it a skirt, its more of a wrap.
[18:07] Amon Amuff: i didnt do laundry this month so i took some curtains and a safety pin
[18:07] Flaming Arrow 55: cute
[18:07] Flaming Arrow 55: come, let's sit and watch the waves roll in
[18:07] Flaming Arrow 55: i love coming here
[18:08] Flaming Arrow 55: *sits on the sand and watches the ocean*
[18:08] Flaming Arrow 55: except i always get sand in my vag :-/
[18:08] Amon Amuff: so whyd you pick the beach?
[18:08] Amon Amuff: i see enough crabs when im in the shower.
[18:08] Flaming Arrow 55: hey, i've got crabs too!
[18:08] Flaming Arrow 55: where'd you get your's?
[18:09] Amon Amuff: well, im not sure that id like to get into that.
[18:09] Amon Amuff: this is a first date and all.
[18:09] Flaming Arrow 55: come on, sexy, it's just us and that creepy hobo over there
[18:10] Flaming Arrow 55: who's, weirdly enough, the person i got crabs from
[18:10] Amon Amuff: *points at creepy hobo* small world.
[18:10] Flaming Arrow 55: you too? creepy hobo gets around
[18:11] Amon Amuff: yeah hes a smoother talker than some people here.
[18:12] Flaming Arrow 55: want some whiskey? *holds up a bottle of jack*
[18:12] Amon Amuff: absolutely.
[18:12] Flaming Arrow 55: *hands you the bottle* drink up, there's more where that came from
[18:13] Flaming Arrow 55: i robbed a liquor store on the way here
[18:13] Flaming Arrow 55: and i thought "why just take money?"
[18:13] Amon Amuff: well youre smarter than you dress
[18:13] Amon Amuff: so you never mentioned why you like the beach so much.
[18:14] Flaming Arrow 55: this is where i lost my virginity to my dad when i was 12 years old
[18:14] Amon Amuff: was he gentle?
[18:14] Flaming Arrow 55: what do these scars tell you?
[18:14] Amon Amuff: "dad wuz here"
[18:15] Flaming Arrow 55: he had a fetish for marking people
[18:15] Amon Amuff: my kind of guy
[18:15] Amon Amuff: does it run in the family?
[18:15] Flaming Arrow 55: oh, you'll find out *opens switchblade*
[18:15] Flaming Arrow 55: but that's for later
[18:18] Flaming Arrow 55: what about your family, what're they like?
[18:18] Amon Amuff: well
[18:18] Amon Amuff: my dad was a war vet
[18:18] Amon Amuff: he served as many consecutive terms in korea as he could
[18:18] Amon Amuff: when the war ended he stayed there for a few years waiting for someone to "start something" but it never happened
[18:19] Amon Amuff: so he waged his own war on korean grass and spent the next decade or so punching the ground
[18:19] Flaming Arrow 55: when did he meet your mother?
[18:19] Amon Amuff: he met my mom when he was bayonetting villagers in vietnam
[18:20] Flaming Arrow 55: aww, a classic military lovestory
[18:20] Amon Amuff: she was hiding in a small basket, as she was 5 at the time
[18:20] Flaming Arrow 55: i thought you looked like a chink
[18:20] Amon Amuff: he took a shine to her and would actually shine her with silver polish whenever he could
[18:20] Flaming Arrow 55: those slanty eyes and tiny breasts were a big giveaway
[18:20] Amon Amuff: well, she was originally kidnapped from belgium by a vietnamese pirate
[18:21] Flaming Arrow 55: then why do you look vietnamese?
[18:21] Amon Amuff: i thought they looked nice, so i tried my best and practiced and bang
[18:21] Amon Amuff: asian.
[18:21] Amon Amuff: put your mind to anything and it can happen in time
[18:21] Flaming Arrow 55: wow
[18:22] Amon Amuff: so what do you do with your free time?
[18:22] Flaming Arrow 55: oh, i'm in prison
[18:22] Flaming Arrow 55: well, most of the time
[18:23] Flaming Arrow 55: i slip out now and again
[18:23] Amon Amuff: which one?
[18:23] Flaming Arrow 55: Golden Hills Women's Penitentiary
[18:23] Amon Amuff: do you know gretchen tung?
[18:23] Flaming Arrow 55: know her? i stuck a shiv in her thigh last week
[18:24] Amon Amuff: well, mom always had a big mouth
[18:24] Flaming Arrow 55: that's your mom??
[18:24] Amon Amuff: well
[18:24] Amon Amuff: stepmom
[18:24] Amon Amuff: but she was a jerk and i dont mind that shes in jail
[18:24] Flaming Arrow 55: what'd she do?
[18:25] Amon Amuff: paint fraud
[18:25] Amon Amuff: none of us are very proud of her
[18:26] Flaming Arrow 55: well, if you want, when they catch up with me and send me back, i could slit her throat in the shower or get some of my buddies together and gangfist her
[18:26] Amon Amuff: youre sweeter than i first though
[18:26] Flaming Arrow 55: *blush*
[18:27] Flaming Arrow 55: uh oh, i hear sirens!
[18:28] Flaming Arrow 55: they've caught up with me
[18:28] Flaming Arrow 55: i've gotta go, feel free to visit any time. just ask for Betty the Hun.
[18:28] Flaming Arrow 55: that's my name on the "inside"
[18:28] Amon Amuff: inside what?
[18:28] Flaming Arrow 55: the prison
[18:28] Amon Amuff: i wasnt paying attention.
[18:28] Amon Amuff: youre boring and i think you smell like...what is that, carp?
[18:29] Flaming Arrow 55: yeah, i have one stuck in my pants
[18:29] Flaming Arrow 55: it feels good when it wiggles around in there
[18:29] Amon Amuff: whered you get it?
[18:29] Amon Amuff: its nice
[18:29] Flaming Arrow 55: i caught it
[18:29] Flaming Arrow 55: i fish
[18:29] Flaming Arrow 55: mainly with a gun
[18:30] Amon Amuff: oh, i like the outdoorsy type
[18:31] Flaming Arrow 55: i've gotta get going, those pigs will be by here. pretend you never saw me! oh, here, take the money i stole from the liquor store. *hands you a wad of 100s*
[18:31] Flaming Arrow 55: bye! *runs off down the beach*
[18:31] Amon Amuff: bye!
[18:32] Amon Amuff: *counts money and stuffs it into my change purse*

Zippo279: I told IF0 that I had a sex dream about him, but that was a lie.
Zippo279: Because he was in one of those "I'm feeling sorry for myself" moods and I wanted to shut him up.

greek_marquis

Zippo would love to eat feces with me

Ballkicks: (+52 / -11)
Posts: 217 (0.037)
Reg. Date: Jul 2004
Location:
Gender: Unspecified

Quoted from Flaming Arrow:
[[18:14] Amon Amuff: "dad wuz here"

~wipes away tear~

That was funny.

Lucifer Beowulf Helidon
The Reel RS Krew
MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT IS LUCIFER@ROKBOM.COM

LBH was here... All thats left are the shattered remains of a broken man.

Ballkicks: (+457 / -89)
Posts: 1053 (0.167)
Reg. Date: Apr 2003
Location: Brisbane
Gender: Male

Quoted from Mr Excitable:
Orginally myself and LBH were pared up...the msn date chat thing was going well...up till this point

In order to obtain a grade, you will need to retake the missed test. says:
where do you want to go now?
El Diablo says:
Actually i got to jump off msn...save this convo and we can start off later and post it or something
In order to obtain a grade, you will need to retake the missed test. says:
I don't have anything I can masturbate to yet...
El Diablo says:
Okay I think were done

He cares about his car too much and he doesn't like Dashboard Confessional. But he bought me one of their CDs, which was pretty nice.

Public Service Announcement: OLD PEOPLE HAVE SEX
~ RokBom ~

Smokey
INTL Premium Member
fuck this title

funkle smokey

Ballkicks: (+845 / -114)
Posts: 5205 (0.888)
Reg. Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orlando Florida
Gender: Male

It's just as well I was banned, I didn't even find out until like 3 days later and was extra busy most of the week with college stuff, there were some complications. Tell me who my date was anyway. If you didn't do it yet I can still do it unless that's breaking the rules, wouldn't want to taint the integrity of this project.

Quote:
and if I really wanted to be anal, he never confirmed his participation

That's stupid. You know me, we go way back.

Baggy_Brad
FIGJAM

Cool.

Ballkicks: (+1431 / -135)
Posts: 6737 (1.009)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location: Australia, Mate
Gender: Male

Bon and I, amusing parts bolded:

Quote:
[02:14] tenyearsgone232: hello brad
[02:14] BaggyBrad8: hi there
[02:14] BaggyBrad8: you're the girl right?
[02:15] tenyearsgone232: yes
[02:15] tenyearsgone232: i think
[02:15] BaggyBrad8: alrighty
[02:16] BaggyBrad8: so our date's never going to be as funny as PR and FA's one, so we may as well just relax and have a good time
[02:16] tenyearsgone232: okay
[02:16] tenyearsgone232: i am a little uptight about this
[02:16] tenyearsgone232: being a girl and all
[02:16] BaggyBrad8: oh come on, relax, take it easy
[02:16] BaggyBrad8: do you want a drink?
[02:16] tenyearsgone232: oh sure
[02:16] tenyearsgone232: what do you have
[02:17] BaggyBrad8: soda or scotch
[02:17] BaggyBrad8: it's IN MY PICINIC BASKET
[02:17] tenyearsgone232: could you get it for me
[02:17] BaggyBrad8: oh shit that my sound like an innuendo
[02:17] BaggyBrad8: sure
[02:17] tenyearsgone232: i can't do anything because im a female
[02:17] BaggyBrad8: you idiot woman you didn't even tell me what you want! Christ, i thought girls could at least talk properly, as it seems to be all you do
[02:18] tenyearsgone232: well... im not really that thirsty... i'll just have whatever you're having
[02:18] tenyearsgone232: or maybe not... i dunno
[02:18] BaggyBrad8: Well if you're not thirsty why did you ask for a drink?! can't you make your mind up about anything?
[02:19] tenyearsgone232: i'm sorry! don't dump me!
[02:19] tenyearsgone232: ill do anything
[02:19] BaggyBrad8: I'm sorry, I was abrubt
[02:20] BaggyBrad8: You're not that bad, in fact, LET ME COMPLIMENT YOU BY SAYING that as far as women go, you're only a little bit stupid
[02:20] tenyearsgone232: awww
[02:20] tenyearsgone232: youre a cute catch
[02:20] BaggyBrad8: I work on a farm
[02:20] tenyearsgone232: all the other guys just want me for my body, but you're... special
[02:21] BaggyBrad8: I work on a farm
[02:21] tenyearsgone232: your muscles... they're so big
[02:21] tenyearsgone232: you must be so strong
[02:21] BaggyBrad8: I work on a farm
[02:22] BaggyBrad8: I am strong
[02:22] tenyearsgone232: how strong
[02:22] BaggyBrad8: Well, dont tell anyone about this ONE WEIRD THING THAT I'M ABOUT TO ADMIT TO YOU
[02:22] tenyearsgone232: okay
[02:22] tenyearsgone232: i promise!
[02:22] tenyearsgone232: i wont tell a soul
[02:23] BaggyBrad8: but you know how when mothers get that huge burst of strength and they lift up cars to save their babies?
[02:23] tenyearsgone232: go on
[02:23] BaggyBrad8: Well, I found a way to bottle that
[02:23] BaggyBrad8: and sold it for millions
[02:23] tenyearsgone232: well why are you still a farmer
[02:23] BaggyBrad8: and used the millions to pay for weight equipment
[02:23] tenyearsgone232: oh!
[02:23] BaggyBrad8: which I used a lot which built up my muscles
[02:23] BaggyBrad8: I'm not a farmer
[02:23] tenyearsgone232: how... how... beautiful
[02:24] tenyearsgone232: just like you
[02:25] tenyearsgone232: so, whats in the news
[02:25] BaggyBrad8: oh you
[02:25] tenyearsgone232:
[02:25] BaggyBrad8: Isn't the park beautiful tonight?
[02:25] tenyearsgone232: it is
[02:25] BaggyBrad8: sit closer to me
[02:25] tenyearsgone232: ok baby
[02:25] tenyearsgone232: anything for you
[02:26] BaggyBrad8: your body heat is enjoyable
[02:26] tenyearsgone232: thank you
[02:26] tenyearsgone232: i try to keep constant
[02:26] tenyearsgone232: do you mind if i put my arm around you
[02:27] tenyearsgone232: i'll the yawn trick if you like
[02:27] BaggyBrad8: yes, I would appreciate that
[02:27] BaggyBrad8: I like a forward woman
[02:27] BaggyBrad8: especially one who is forward
[02:27] tenyearsgone232: oh i can i be forward baby
[02:27] tenyearsgone232: just tell me what to do and im there
[02:28] BaggyBrad8: get yourself drunk and compliment yourself to make yourself feel good about sleeping with a stranger
[02:29] tenyearsgone232: im not that kind of girl!!! what do you take me as?! some sort of hooker??!?
[02:29] tenyearsgone232: you men are all alike!
[02:29] BaggyBrad8: yes
[02:29] BaggyBrad8: so what are you going to do about it?
[02:30] BaggyBrad8: resort to lesbianism and divorce grahamstokey?
[02:30] tenyearsgone232:
[02:30] BaggyBrad8: i'd like to see you try
[02:30] tenyearsgone232: im sorry
[02:30] tenyearsgone232: i wont disobey again
[02:30] BaggyBrad8: cool
[02:30] BaggyBrad8: I work on a farm
[02:31] tenyearsgone232: really? what kind of farm?
[02:31] BaggyBrad8: it's not really important
[02:31] BaggyBrad8: stop bringing it up
[02:31] BaggyBrad8: i don't like to talk about it
[02:31] tenyearsgone232: ok baby
[02:31] tenyearsgone232: how about we get naked instead
[02:32] BaggyBrad8: I worked on that farm as a cattle hand for six years
[02:32] BaggyBrad8: and what thanks did I get? none
[02:33] tenyearsgone232: well cattle don't have hands, silly. what a silly job
[02:33] tenyearsgone232: :p
[02:33] BaggyBrad8: I didn't mean to kill them
[02:34] BaggyBrad8: but I did
[02:34] BaggyBrad8: there was blood everywhere
[02:34] tenyearsgone232: well, you can't change the past
[02:34] BaggyBrad8: and other descriptive terms that conjure unappealling images
[02:34] tenyearsgone232: eew
[02:34] BaggyBrad8: want to kiss now?
[02:35] tenyearsgone232: uhhh i dunno... ive only kissed my dad before.... but alright
[02:35] BaggyBrad8: No No No Wait
[02:35] BaggyBrad8: *pulls of mask*
[02:35] BaggyBrad8: I am your father
[02:35] tenyearsgone232: WAT
[02:35] tenyearsgone232: oh hey dad
[02:35] tenyearsgone232: whats up
[02:35] BaggyBrad8: I work on a farm

What has true love ever done for you, Tim Tim?
True love made Timmy into a REAL BOY!
Brad's Wintry Journal 2

Zippo
pooooooop

Leveling entire cities with her magnificient girl-cock

Ballkicks: (+1097 / -49)
Posts: 5302 (0.823)
Reg. Date: Nov 2002
Location: America's Wang
Gender: Unspecified

Quoted from Smokey:
Tell me who my date was anyway. If you didn't do it yet I can still do it unless that's breaking the rules, wouldn't want to taint the integrity of this project.

Nemesis was your date.

And thanks to PR, FA, Brad, Bon (Lucifer and Mr Excitable, I'm afraid that you guys are going to have to do it again) for their awesome submissions! I can't wait for the rest.

God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.

spoon

Deer Hunter

Ballkicks: (+60 / -18)
Posts: 157 (0.025)
Reg. Date: Feb 2003
Location:
Gender: Female

Quote:
Rudi says:
So whats a lan party?
Erin says:
isn't it when a bunch of people hook their computers together and play games?
Rudi says:
um sounds fun when is it
Erin says:
right now we better hurry or we'll be late. you took a long time to get ready
Rudi says:
but i wanted to look nice for you
Erin says:
oh you do. your breasts look beautiful in that blouse but you should have shaved your legs
Rudi says:
takes time and I had to shave elsewhere, shall we go
Erin says:
sure if you say so babe
Rudi says:
ah your sweet bet you say that to all the girls
Erin says:
of course not
Erin says:
so I never did catch your name, honey
Rudi says:
its Laura I'm sure I told you that before
Erin says:
I was probably too busy staring at your beautiful brea... eyes
Rudi says:
stop it your making me blush , you are such a sweetie
Erin says:
thanks. so... I've never been to a lan party before, have you?
Rudi says:
no but if you want to go I'm sure it'll be fun?
Erin says:
ok let's go if nothing else we could always just come back here and watch a movie if that would be ok with you
Rudi says:
that would be nice, you drive I just want to sort out my lipstick a mo
Erin says:
I would but you see, I have epilepsy and I'm not allowed to drive
Rudi says:
but I don't know how to drive all my old boyfriends used to drive me, should we get a taxi?
Erin says:
I actually get pretty car-sick. Let's just stay here
Rudi says:
okay shall we watch a film then, I have loads of good ones, or we can watch tv
Erin says:
nothing with too much color, remember. I have epilepsy. *sits down* or maybe a movie was a bad idea. we could always just sit here and talk
Rudi says:
*sits down* ah you poor thing I'm sorry I just didn't think, what shall we talk about
Erin says:
*wraps an arm around you and leans back* Oh I don't know...
Rudi says:
*looks into erin's eyes*
Rudi says:
you look just like Mike my old boyfriend well one of my old boyfriends
Rudi says:
he liked cars do you like cars too?
Erin says:
no way! you kind-of look like my old boyfriend too!
Rudi says:
really thats amazing, how about sports Tommy used to play for the local college team
Erin says:
I like table tennis. does that count?
Erin says:
speaking of balls. I have to get going.
Rudi says:
leaving so soon ?
Erin says:
I kind of have this guy thing going on I just remembered
Erin says:
um can I call you sometime or something?
Rudi says:
sure you know whenever I'm always about town, but leave a message if I'm not in
Erin says:
ok that sounds really nice. I'm sorry things didn't really work out tonight
Erin says:
uhhhmmm you don't see my car keys anywhere do you?
Rudi says:
I thought you didn't drive?
Erin says:
I um...I don't. I uh just have keys for my house that I call my car keys.
Rudi says:
ah okay well I can tell you one thing their not in my blouse so you can stop looking there
Erin says:
Shit. sorry. *leans in for a kiss
Rudi says:
*kisses*
Erin says:
awesome. goodnight Laura I'll call you sometime
Rudi says:
please do I get so lonely here alone
Erin says:
I will.

Rarc and I.
It was terribly exciting.

GrahamStokley
3DB Will Set You Free

To fat to be a ninja. Must be a ghost.

Ballkicks: (+90 / -15)
Posts: 349 (0.055)
Reg. Date: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago Burbs
Gender: Female

[q=Baggy_Brad]Bon and I

Quote:

[02:29] BaggyBrad8: so what are you going to do about it?
[02:30] BaggyBrad8: resort to lesbianism and divorce grahamstokey?

Bon's not my type, forceful girls scare me

So far these dates are great. wish I would have participated.

"Help! my Neopet is dying......"

This reply was last edited on 07-08-04 04:53:13 PM by GrahamStokley.

Mr Excitable
INTL Premium Member
My girlfriend is the Michelin Man

Ballkicks: (+514 / -60)
Posts: 3218 (0.505)
Reg. Date: Jan 2003
Location:
Gender: Male

Hey were not done yet. I was just stating the date took a turn for the weird.

You can baptize a cat, you just need to use a burlap sack.

I want a sandwich named after me - Jon Stewart

Rarc

Ballkicks: (+13 / -2)
Posts: 37 (0.006)
Reg. Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Gender: Male

Quoted from spoon:
Quote:
Rudi says:
So whats a lan party?
Erin says:
isn't it when a bunch of people hook their computers together and play games?
Rudi says:
um sounds fun when is it
Erin says:
right now we better hurry or we'll be late. you took a long time to get ready
Rudi says:
but i wanted to look nice for you
Erin says:
oh you do. your breasts look beautiful in that blouse but you should have shaved your legs
Rudi says:
takes time and I had to shave elsewhere, shall we go
Erin says:
sure if you say so babe
Rudi says:
ah your sweet bet you say that to all the girls
Erin says:
of course not
Erin says:
so I never did catch your name, honey
Rudi says:
its Laura I'm sure I told you that before
Erin says:
I was probably too busy staring at your beautiful brea... eyes
Rudi says:
stop it your making me blush , you are such a sweetie
Erin says:
thanks. so... I've never been to a lan party before, have you?
Rudi says:
no but if you want to go I'm sure it'll be fun?
Erin says:
ok let's go if nothing else we could always just come back here and watch a movie if that would be ok with you
Rudi says:
that would be nice, you drive I just want to sort out my lipstick a mo
Erin says:
I would but you see, I have epilepsy and I'm not allowed to drive
Rudi says:
but I don't know how to drive all my old boyfriends used to drive me, should we get a taxi?
Erin says:
I actually get pretty car-sick. Let's just stay here
Rudi says:
okay shall we watch a film then, I have loads of good ones, or we can watch tv
Erin says:
nothing with too much color, remember. I have epilepsy. *sits down* or maybe a movie was a bad idea. we could always just sit here and talk
Rudi says:
*sits down* ah you poor thing I'm sorry I just didn't think, what shall we talk about
Erin says:
*wraps an arm around you and leans back* Oh I don't know...
Rudi says:
*looks into erin's eyes*
Rudi says:
you look just like Mike my old boyfriend well one of my old boyfriends
Rudi says:
he liked cars do you like cars too?
Erin says:
no way! you kind-of look like my old boyfriend too!
Rudi says:
really thats amazing, how about sports Tommy used to play for the local college team
Erin says:
I like table tennis. does that count?
Erin says:
speaking of balls. I have to get going.
Rudi says:
leaving so soon ?
Erin says:
I kind of have this guy thing going on I just remembered
Erin says:
um can I call you sometime or something?
Rudi says:
sure you know whenever I'm always about town, but leave a message if I'm not in
Erin says:
ok that sounds really nice. I'm sorry things didn't really work out tonight
Erin says:
uhhhmmm you don't see my car keys anywhere do you?
Rudi says:
I thought you didn't drive?
Erin says:
I um...I don't. I uh just have keys for my house that I call my car keys.
Rudi says:
ah okay well I can tell you one thing their not in my blouse so you can stop looking there
Erin says:
Shit. sorry. *leans in for a kiss
Rudi says:
*kisses*
Erin says:
awesome. goodnight Laura I'll call you sometime
Rudi says:
please do I get so lonely here alone
Erin says:
I will.

Rarc and I.
It was terribly exciting.

And I thought we had something special *sobs*

wheezy
The Reel RS Krew
Lord Handsome

The next time you wanna call a coon a nigger, call that spearchucker a jungle bunny instead. I know, I know... nigger rolls off the tongue so easy, but there is a world of rarely used racial slurs that we need to start utilizing. White power!

Ballkicks: (+527 / -190)
Posts: 4335 (0.64)
Reg. Date: Dec 2001
Location:
Gender: Male

EtH and myself. I told her to bring the funny, so if it wasn't funny, it's her fault.

Quote:
wheezy821 (2:58:52 PM): Howdy
x Hardly Art (2:59:09 PM): Oh, hi. You picked a nice place.
wheezy821 (2:59:40 PM): I know. There's lots of fun to be had here.
wheezy821 (2:59:57 PM): I'm wheezy, you know
x Hardly Art (3:00:39 PM): That's a painfully original name. You can call me Britt.
wheezy821 (3:00:54 PM): I really like your loafers. They look great.
x Hardly Art (3:01:20 PM): Thanks. I thought they'd match my sweatervest.
wheezy821 (3:01:47 PM): Awesome. So how about we get this party started. Hmm....what to do first? Do you like balls?
x Hardly Art (3:02:45 PM): Normally yes, but I'm not big on children.
x Hardly Art (3:02:52 PM): And they're teeming with them.
wheezy821 (3:03:08 PM): children do love playing with balls
wheezy821 (3:03:18 PM): I think they learn it from their parents, actually
wheezy821 (3:03:40 PM): Their parents want some peace and quiet, so they tell their kids to go off and bury themselves neck deep in big balls
x Hardly Art (3:03:55 PM): Well, it sure is an enjoyable pasttime
x Hardly Art (3:04:28 PM): Except when the balls are already slobbery from another kid.
wheezy821 (3:04:47 PM): Oh I definitely agree
wheezy821 (3:05:06 PM): One time I dove right into a set of balls, and when I came up for breath, my face was soaked it wet goo.
x Hardly Art (3:05:18 PM): It happens to the best of us.
x Hardly Art (3:06:03 PM): Uhm, so do we get waited on here or do we go up to the big guy in a mouse suit to order
wheezy821 (3:06:17 PM): I think he's a rat
wheezy821 (3:06:33 PM): And I'm pretty sure they don't give out service if we just sit here
wheezy821 (3:06:42 PM): Do you give out service for nothing?
x Hardly Art (3:07:05 PM): Oh no. I'm pretty selfish.
x Hardly Art (3:07:55 PM): HE's definetly a mouse. Who would hire a rat to sell food and fun to children?
x Hardly Art (3:08:01 PM): It's not even a respectable animal.
wheezy821 (3:08:28 PM): He's too sneaky to be a mouse.
wheezy821 (3:08:42 PM): I used to live with rats, actually.
wheezy821 (3:08:53 PM): It's used to be a weird quirk of mine. I loved rats.
wheezy821 (3:09:13 PM): Not sexually
wheezy821 (3:09:15 PM): Just as friends
x Hardly Art (3:09:19 PM): So you don't love them any more?
x Hardly Art (3:09:36 PM): Oh. I didn't think of it sexually until you. . mentioned it
wheezy821 (3:10:22 PM): Then you don't have a sexually active mind, do you?
x Hardly Art (3:10:36 PM): No when it involves rodents
x Hardly Art (3:10:52 PM): Or any animal, for that matter
wheezy821 (3:11:16 PM): Alright, let's just get some pizza and head out
wheezy821 (3:11:20 PM): What do you want on your pizza?
wheezy821 (3:11:23 PM): Do you like meat?
x Hardly Art (3:12:07 PM): Of course. Sausage, please.
wheezy821 (3:13:00 PM): You look like you're hot. Does sausage make you hot?
x Hardly Art (3:14:29 PM): It depends on whose sausage it is. Not just any sausage, you know.
x Hardly Art (3:14:53 PM): It's hard to tell before it's in my mouth, though.
wheezy821 (3:15:20 PM): I'm known for my sausage. Would you like to try my sausage sometime, britt?
x Hardly Art (3:16:12 PM): I don't know where your sausage has been.
wheezy821 (3:16:46 PM): Oh, just in and out a couple local places
wheezy821 (3:17:35 PM): *FAST FORWARD*
wheezy821 (3:18:01 PM): So it's getting late. Would you like me to drop you off now?
wheezy821 (3:18:25 PM): Or maybe you'd wanna come back to my crib.
wheezy821 (3:18:29 PM): It's really a crib.
x Hardly Art (3:19:20 PM): And you fit inside it?
wheezy821 (3:19:36 PM): room for two
wheezy821 (3:19:44 PM): if we squeeze a bit.
wheezy821 (3:19:51 PM): Would you mind me going for a squeeze?
x Hardly Art (3:20:18 PM): >:-( that was out of line, sir.
x Hardly Art (3:20:41 PM): *crosses arms*
x Hardly Art (3:20:44 PM): Take me home.
wheezy821 (3:21:10 PM): Fuck you, prude. You can walk home if you're gonna be like that
x Hardly Art (3:21:25 PM): It's a good 10 miles away!
wheezy821 (3:21:36 PM): Now you must weigh your options.
x Hardly Art (3:22:35 PM): You've given me no options! It's even raining out. Take me home.
wheezy821 (3:23:17 PM): not until i at least get a kiss
x Hardly Art (3:24:20 PM): On the cheek.
wheezy821 (3:24:33 PM): ok, go ahead
x Hardly Art (3:25:03 PM): Oh, uh *kiss*
wheezy821 (3:25:15 PM): *grabs* honk honk
x Hardly Art (3:25:25 PM): OH MY GOD
wheezy821 (3:25:37 PM): What?! You're giving me mixed signals!
wheezy821 (3:25:41 PM): YOU WOMEN ARE ALL NUTS!!!!!!!
x Hardly Art (3:25:54 PM): I KISSED YOU ON THE CHEEK AND YOU GRABBED MY BREAST
wheezy821 (3:26:06 PM): I thought we were moving along quite well!!!!!!
wheezy821 (3:26:08 PM): So uh....
wheezy821 (3:26:14 PM): Was it good for you too?
x Hardly Art (3:26:21 PM): Dude fuck you.
x Hardly Art (3:26:25 PM): *slams car door*

U CANT TRICK THE TRICKSTER

Moderator of the Proud Inside Discussions Forum.
www.uselessstatic.com

flaming arrow
INTL Premium Member

old time judge suck cock

Ballkicks: (+1266 / -281)
Posts: 18725 (2.802)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location:
Gender: Female

That was nice.

How were her tits dude? coal

Zippo279: I told IF0 that I had a sex dream about him, but that was a lie.
Zippo279: Because he was in one of those "I'm feeling sorry for myself" moods and I wanted to shut him up.

greenidentity
Disco naps and liquorice Snaps.

It is time for some fine fine wine.....or box wine it's all good man

Ballkicks: (+603 / -81)
Posts: 3891 (0.59)
Reg. Date: Jun 2002
Location: Planet Seeth
Gender: Unspecified

Brad and FA, yours were fucking hilarious. I was going to highlight my favorite parts but I couldn't, the whole things were awesome. I wish I would have participated now, but I'm not funny at all so it would have sucked.

Some folks might say
That I'm no good.

greek_marquis

Zippo would love to eat feces with me

Ballkicks: (+52 / -11)
Posts: 217 (0.037)
Reg. Date: Jul 2004
Location:
Gender: Unspecified

These are all very funny and pass the time nicely. Good idea Zippo. i'm a serial-killer :)

Zippo
pooooooop

Leveling entire cities with her magnificient girl-cock

Ballkicks: (+1097 / -49)
Posts: 5302 (0.823)
Reg. Date: Nov 2002
Location: America's Wang
Gender: Unspecified

Quoted from greenidentity:
I wish I would have participated now

Theoretically anyone can participate, but they won't be randomly set up by me. Just find an INTL member and go for it.

God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.

Hasty Penguin
get in the box
People are a danger to society.

there is a guy who gets it on with three girls at once and they all have amazing unibrows

Ballkicks: (+1307 / -46)
Posts: 5641 (0.85)
Reg. Date: May 2002
Location: murderbarn
Gender: Male

If I could ever get Greg out of his manly unemotional shell, we might be able to go on our date (read: universities prevent internet dating life).

"Hey, don't be so sad. I'll marry you to the next girl we see."
"Oh. Well, there's some old lady... I don't want to marry her."
"Luckily she just died."-ToTE
Theatre on the Edge
My Musical Compositions

wheezy
The Reel RS Krew
Lord Handsome

Who the fuck is Greg? Fuck Greg.

Quote:
How were her tits dude?

BOOBCATS! Very nice.

U CANT TRICK THE TRICKSTER

Moderator of the Proud Inside Discussions Forum.
www.uselessstatic.com

peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

Ballkicks: (+735 / -175)
Posts: 6073 (0.923)
Reg. Date: Jul 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Gender: Female

Well Trof and I are never online at the same time! I think I'm going to find a random.

Oh and thread rated five.

PR
INTL Alumni
oh

Bassists never get no love, man.

Ballkicks: (+486 / -101)
Posts: 3350 (0.501)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
Location:
Gender: Unspecified

Danielle: *walks into bowling alley looking for date*
Danielle: *notices one long haired stud with painted on tuxedo*
Amon Amuff: *taps foot impatiently and checks his captain planet watch*
Danielle: Ahh, Hi Mike! *enthusiastic wave*
Amon Amuff: *looks up*
Amon Amuff: oh, hi danielle
Amon Amuff: did your car explode or something?
Danielle: *gives you a flower I found outside of the bowling alley*
Amon Amuff: aww
Amon Amuff: thats very sweet
Danielle: Well, no, the bus schedules for this area of town always screw me up, I wasn't even ten minutes late
Amon Amuff: heres a cup i found!
Danielle: I apologize
Amon Amuff: its alright, i understand
Danielle: Thanks, I like drinking things from cups!
Amon Amuff: so...do you like drinking liquids?
Danielle: Yes I am a big fan of liquids, my body is actually largely made up of them.
Danielle: Also I brought a flask of bacardi 151 in my pocket in case you get really boring.
Amon Amuff: oh, can i have that now?
Amon Amuff: *pickpockets danielle*
Amon Amuff: thanks
Danielle: I think you just took my bra off
Danielle: Anyway, we can share it.
Amon Amuff: sharing...? i guess we could do that
Amon Amuff: other than that, why was your bra in your pocket?
Danielle: *looks to see if any managerial figures are around and takes a big swig*
Danielle: oh wouldn't you like to know! *coy*
Danielle: *starts setting up scoreboard for bowling*
Danielle: What do you want your name to be, it has to be four letters
Amon Amuff: USSR
Amon Amuff: i have an unhealthy obsession with zangief
Danielle: Okay... USSR and Dani
Danielle: If you love gay russian furries, you love Zangief.
Amon Amuff: speaking of furries
Amon Amuff: there was an anthrocon in town yesterday
Amon Amuff: it still might be going on
Amon Amuff: a guy in my friends band went
Danielle: He is a furry?
Amon Amuff: apparently
Amon Amuff: it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to think about it
Danielle: Okay, well, anyway, you're up first, champ.
Amon Amuff: *picks a light pink ball*
Danielle: Yes well, a friend of mine is a furry, which makes it harder to make sweeping generalizations.
Amon Amuff: *bowls*
Amon Amuff: i hate bowling.
Danielle: Oh, Hey, I wanted you to know, Amon Amuff, that I don't even mind that you're a fag.
Amon Amuff: hey.
Amon Amuff: im very straight.
Danielle: If you hate bowling why did you suggest it?
Amon Amuff: i didnt suggest it!
Danielle: Prove that you're straight.
Danielle: I would swear that you suggested it!
Amon Amuff: um...breasts, labia, oh yeah!
Danielle: Do you like water slides?
Amon Amuff: im HERE for the waterslides.
Danielle: Alright, well maybe we should just go to the waterslides and forget about the bowling for a bit.
Amon Amuff: oh and your company and stuff
Danielle: You're all charm
Amon Amuff: im like a box of cereal
Danielle: Right.
Danielle: Well I'm going to change into waterslide gear, I'll be back in a moment
Amon Amuff: ok, my painted on tuxedo is still holding up so im good
Danielle: *exits briefly*
Danielle: *returns in bathing suit*
Amon Amuff: hey, thats pretty nice
Amon Amuff: whered you get it?
Danielle: Well most people don't like paisley, but I happen to like them
Amon Amuff: im a huge fan of the seventies
Danielle: Me too. I actually got this bathing suit from a man in his seventies
Amon Amuff: i hope he didnt overcharge you
Danielle: He kept asking for change so I stabbed him. He had this shopping cart full of clothes so I thought, hey cool, a bathing suit.
Amon Amuff: ive heard of some very slick 70-year old con men
Amon Amuff: oh
Danielle: Yeah the price worked well.
Amon Amuff: i thought you meant a legitimate old businessman
Danielle: Is there such a thing?
Amon Amuff: i think so
Danielle: How excellent.
Amon Amuff: im planning on being one when i get out of the time vortex im building
Danielle: Will paisley be popular then?
Amon Amuff: well, if it isnt, thats what my fashion vortex is for.
Amon Amuff: but enough shop talk
Danielle: Well then you're sitting on a gold mine.
Amon Amuff: i try to keep business and waterslides apart
Danielle: Alright, so you're ready to go?
Amon Amuff: yes maam!
Danielle: Careful you don't slip!
Danielle: *skips ahead up the stairs*
Amon Amuff: *starts to climb and stops halfway*
Danielle: *slows when she doesn't hear the padding of feet*
Amon Amuff: i guess now is as good a time as ever to mention that im deathly afraid of ladders and the word "rungs"
Danielle: Muff are you alright?
Amon Amuff: do they happen to have an escalator?
Danielle: Well we're on a stairway
Danielle: Would you rather I piggyback you? *sarcastic*
Amon Amuff: then why is it covered in ladders and "rungs"?
Amon Amuff: *obliviously* could you? that would be great
Danielle: *holds head as though having a horrible headache*
Danielle: Alright, saddle up, chief
Amon Amuff: i have some aspirin in my pocket, if you need it
Amon Amuff: *climbs aboard*
Danielle: Well this is the last time you're mounting anything tonight, I'll tell you that
Danielle: *muscles strain as she climbs*
Amon Amuff: faster!
Danielle: *eye twitches*
Danielle: *climbs faster*
Danielle: Almost... to the .. top
Amon Amuff: *hits you in the legs with a riding crop*
Amon Amuff: weeeeeeeeee!
Danielle: *hand slips on a rung*
Danielle: Ack!
Amon Amuff: AHHHHH!
Danielle: *holds desperately with one hand, legs dangling*
Amon Amuff: RUNGS
Amon Amuff: I TOLD YOU
Amon Amuff: RUNGS
Amon Amuff: ARE
Amon Amuff: NOT
Amon Amuff: GOOD
Danielle: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
Amon Amuff: there was a tick!
Danielle: There was no tick!
Amon Amuff: then what was that black thing?!
Danielle: Listen buster, there's no way that from on my back you could see something on my leg.
Danielle: *grasps at next handhold and continues climbing*
Amon Amuff: *chuckles aimlessly*
Danielle: *gets to the top and unloads Muff*
Amon Amuff: thanks!
Danielle: *slap*
Amon Amuff: ME FIRST!
Amon Amuff: *jumps down waterslide headfirst*
Danielle: *jumps down the slide before you*
Amon Amuff: OH FUCK NO YOU DIDNT
Danielle: *laughs gleefully*
Amon Amuff: *puts on golf cleats*
Danielle: *splashes in the water while sliding quickly through the plastic tubing
Amon Amuff: *rotates body and stabs you in the back repeatedly*
Danielle: *Cries in pain*
Danielle: OH GOD, OH GOD
Danielle: I'm bleeding all over the place!
Amon Amuff: hahaha this is the best date ive had in years! hahahahaha!
Amon Amuff: YAY!
Amon Amuff: hahahaha!
Danielle: *turns teary eyes to Muff*
Amon Amuff: lets go again!
Danielle: Do you have an erection?
Amon Amuff: *jumps on your back*
Amon Amuff: now i do!
Danielle: I think your penis is penetrating my wounds MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

Amon Amuff: hahaha, wounds! youre funny!
Amon Amuff: i feel very comfortable around you
Danielle: *pushes you off my back and races up the stair/ladderway for another go*
Amon Amuff: *stands bleary eyed at the bottom of the ladderstairwayrungfest2k4*
Amon Amuff: so...very...afraid
Danielle: *turns briefly while ascending*
Danielle: *sigh*
Amon Amuff: *yells up* HEY! IS MY WALLET UP THERE?
Danielle: *grabs the sides of the ladder and slides down very smoothly*
Amon Amuff: *continues yelling*
Amon Amuff: HOWD YOU GET DOWN SO FAST?!
Danielle: I'm right here dumbass
Amon Amuff: OH!
Amon Amuff: WAS MY WALLET UP THERE?
Danielle: *yells back sarcastically*
Danielle: I DON'T KNOW
Danielle: WHY DON'T YOU GO CHECK
Amon Amuff: well, you were up there
Amon Amuff: i thought it would be polite.
Danielle: WHY DON'T YOU GRAB EACH RUNG, ONE BY ONE, RUNG AFTER RUNG AND FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF
Amon Amuff: im allergic to grabbing
Amon Amuff: say, mind if i check your wounds?
Danielle: Well if you'd wipe off a bit of the blood on my back
Amon Amuff: maybe my wallet ended up in there.
Danielle: I might be nice enough to climb up there again
Amon Amuff: *starts jabbing the holes*
Danielle: Ow, hey
Amon Amuff: oh, sorry about the burning
Amon Amuff: ive been eating pretzels
Amon Amuff: *continues jabbing*
Danielle: Hmm, if you had a cigarette we could cauterize these wounds.
Danielle: Well I have one *lights up cigarette*
Amon Amuff: sorry, i only smoke pipes
Danielle: Tough cookies
Amon Amuff: *bubbles pour liberously out of my nostrils*
Amon Amuff: the smoothest.
Danielle: Stop touching my back you sicko.
Danielle: Well I'm going for another round on the slide
Danielle: *inhales some smoke*
Amon Amuff: ill be waiting at the locker room. i think im having TOO much fun!
Danielle: Your cumberbund is askew.
Amon Amuff: oh, thats just a scar from the vivisection
Danielle: Oh I see.
Amon Amuff: have fun! come to the lockerroom when youre done
Danielle: How about i take another run, get cleaned up by the onstaff nurse and meet you by the change rooms?
Danielle: Alright.
Amon Amuff: *saunters off in the direction of the womens changing room*
Danielle: *skips up the steps excitedly*
Danielle: -forward a bit-
Danielle: *steps out of the change room*
Danielle: Hey are those my clothes?
Danielle: *in a towel*
Amon Amuff: no, these are uh...hers
Danielle: You just said hers but didn't indicate anyone specifically.
Amon Amuff: *points to nude woman"
Danielle: Oh.
Amon Amuff: the naked one.
Amon Amuff: DUH!!!
Amon Amuff: hey, she has a nice set of hands on her
Amon Amuff: MINE!
Amon Amuff: HAHAHAHA!
Amon Amuff: *gropes strangers*
Danielle: *gets embarassed*
Amon Amuff: whats the matter?
Danielle: *nervously sips rum*
Amon Amuff: so, do you like bowling?
Danielle: It makes me slightly uncomfortable when you grope random people.
Danielle: Well I've only been ten pin bowling once, really.
Amon Amuff: oh, then lets change that!
Amon Amuff: want to go to this great bowling alley i know of?
Amon Amuff: it has a waterslide and everything!
Danielle: Are you sure you're not thinking of a dungeon in the basement for your house?
Danielle: Because you know, fool me once...
Danielle: *walks into bowling alley looking for date*
Danielle: *notices one long haired stud with painted on tuxedo*
Amon Amuff: *taps foot impatiently and checks his captain planet watch*
Danielle: Ahh, Hi Mike! *enthusiastic wave*
Amon Amuff: *looks up*
Amon Amuff: oh, hi danielle
Amon Amuff: did your car explode or something?
Danielle: *gives you a flower I found outside of the bowling alley*
Amon Amuff: aww
Amon Amuff: thats very sweet
Danielle: Well, no, the bus schedules for this area of town always screw me up, I wasn't even ten minutes late
Amon Amuff: heres a cup i found!
Danielle: I apologize
Amon Amuff: its alright, i understand
Danielle: Thanks, I like drinking things from cups!
Amon Amuff: so...do you like drinking liquids?
Danielle: Yes I am a big fan of liquids, my body is actually largely made up of them.
Danielle: Also I brought a flask of bacardi 151 in my pocket in case you get really boring.
Amon Amuff: oh, can i have that now?
Amon Amuff: *pickpockets danielle*
Amon Amuff: thanks
Danielle: I think you just took my bra off
Danielle: Anyway, we can share it.
Amon Amuff: sharing...? i guess we could do that
Amon Amuff: other than that, why was your bra in your pocket?
Danielle: *looks to see if any managerial figures are around and takes a big swig*
Danielle: oh wouldn't you like to know! *coy*
Danielle: *starts setting up scoreboard for bowling*
Danielle: What do you want your name to be, it has to be four letters
Amon Amuff: USSR
Amon Amuff: i have an unhealthy obsession with zangief
Danielle: Okay... USSR and Dani
Danielle: If you love gay russian furries, you love Zangief.
Amon Amuff: speaking of furries
Amon Amuff: there was an anthrocon in town yesterday
Amon Amuff: it still might be going on
Amon Amuff: a guy in my friends band went
Danielle: He is a furry?
Amon Amuff: apparently
Amon Amuff: it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to think about it
Danielle: Okay, well, anyway, you're up first, champ.
Amon Amuff: *picks a light pink ball*
Danielle: Yes well, a friend of mine is a furry, which makes it harder to make sweeping generalizations.
Amon Amuff: *bowls*
Amon Amuff: i hate bowling.
Danielle: Oh, Hey, I wanted you to know, Amon Amuff, that I don't even mind that you're a fag.
Amon Amuff: hey.
Amon Amuff: im very straight.
Danielle: If you hate bowling why did you suggest it?
Amon Amuff: i didnt suggest it!
Danielle: Prove that you're straight.
Danielle: I would swear that you suggested it!
Amon Amuff: um...breasts, labia, oh yeah!
Danielle: Do you like water slides?
Amon Amuff: im HERE for the waterslides.
Danielle: Alright, well maybe we should just go to the waterslides and forget about the bowling for a bit.
Amon Amuff: oh and your company and stuff
Danielle: You're all charm
Amon Amuff: im like a box of cereal
Danielle: Right.
Danielle: Well I'm going to change into waterslide gear, I'll be back in a moment
Amon Amuff: ok, my painted on tuxedo is still holding up so im good
Danielle: *exits briefly*
Danielle: *returns in bathing suit*
Amon Amuff: hey, thats pretty nice
Amon Amuff: whered you get it?
Danielle: Well most people don't like paisley, but I happen to like them
Amon Amuff: im a huge fan of the seventies
Danielle: Me too. I actually got this bathing suit from a man in his seventies
Amon Amuff: i hope he didnt overcharge you
Danielle: He kept asking for change so I stabbed him. He had this shopping cart full of clothes so I thought, hey cool, a bathing suit.
Amon Amuff: ive heard of some very slick 70-year old con men
Amon Amuff: oh
Danielle: Yeah the price worked well.
Amon Amuff: i thought you meant a legitimate old businessman
Danielle: Is there such a thing?
Amon Amuff: i think so
Danielle: How excellent.
Amon Amuff: im planning on being one when i get out of the time vortex im building
Danielle: Will paisley be popular then?
Amon Amuff: well, if it isnt, thats what my fashion vortex is for.
Amon Amuff: but enough shop talk
Danielle: Well then you're sitting on a gold mine.
Amon Amuff: i try to keep business and waterslides apart
Danielle: Alright, so you're ready to go?
Amon Amuff: yes maam!
Danielle: Careful you don't slip!
Danielle: *skips ahead up the stairs*
Amon Amuff: *starts to climb and stops halfway*
Danielle: *slows when she doesn't hear the padding of feet*
Amon Amuff: i guess now is as good a time as ever to mention that im deathly afraid of ladders and the word "rungs"
Danielle: Muff are you alright?
Amon Amuff: do they happen to have an escalator?
Danielle: Well we're on a stairway
Danielle: Would you rather I piggyback you? *sarcastic*
Amon Amuff: then why is it covered in ladders and "rungs"?
Amon Amuff: *obliviously* could you? that would be great
Danielle: *holds head as though having a horrible headache*
Danielle: Alright, saddle up, chief
Amon Amuff: i have some aspirin in my pocket, if you need it
Amon Amuff: *climbs aboard*
Danielle: Well this is the last time you're mounting anything tonight, I'll tell you that
Danielle: *muscles strain as she climbs*
Amon Amuff: faster!
Danielle: *eye twitches*
Danielle: *climbs faster*
Danielle: Almost... to the .. top
Amon Amuff: *hits you in the legs with a riding crop*
Amon Amuff: weeeeeeeeee!
Danielle: *hand slips on a rung*
Danielle: Ack!
Amon Amuff: AHHHHH!
Danielle: *holds desperately with one hand, legs dangling*
Amon Amuff: RUNGS
Amon Amuff: I TOLD YOU
Amon Amuff: RUNGS
Amon Amuff: ARE
Amon Amuff: NOT
Amon Amuff: GOOD
Danielle: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
Amon Amuff: there was a tick!
Danielle: There was no tick!
Amon Amuff: then what was that black thing?!
Danielle: Listen buster, there's no way that from on my back you could see something on my leg.
Danielle: *grasps at next handhold and continues climbing*
Amon Amuff: *chuckles aimlessly*
Danielle: *gets to the top and unloads Muff*
Amon Amuff: thanks!
Danielle: *slap*
Amon Amuff: ME FIRST!
Amon Amuff: *jumps down waterslide headfirst*
Danielle: *jumps down the slide before you*
Amon Amuff: OH FUCK NO YOU DIDNT
Danielle: *laughs gleefully*
Amon Amuff: *puts on golf cleats*
Danielle: *splashes in the water while sliding quickly through the plastic tubing
Amon Amuff: *rotates body and stabs you in the back repeatedly*
Danielle: *Cries in pain*
Danielle: OH GOD, OH GOD
Danielle: I'm bleeding all over the place!
Amon Amuff: hahaha this is the best date ive had in years! hahahahaha!
Amon Amuff: YAY!
Amon Amuff: hahahaha!
Danielle: *turns teary eyes to Muff*
Amon Amuff: lets go again!
Danielle: Do you have an erection?
Amon Amuff: *jumps on your back*
Amon Amuff: now i do!
Danielle: I think your penis is penetrating my wounds MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

Amon Amuff: hahaha, wounds! youre funny!
Amon Amuff: i feel very comfortable around you
Danielle: *pushes you off my back and races up the stair/ladderway for another go*
Amon Amuff: *stands bleary eyed at the bottom of the ladderstairwayrungfest2k4*
Amon Amuff: so...very...afraid
Danielle: *turns briefly while ascending*
Danielle: *sigh*
Amon Amuff: *yells up* HEY! IS MY WALLET UP THERE?
Danielle: *grabs the sides of the ladder and slides down very smoothly*
Amon Amuff: *continues yelling*
Amon Amuff: HOWD YOU GET DOWN SO FAST?!
Danielle: I'm right here dumbass
Amon Amuff: OH!
Amon Amuff: WAS MY WALLET UP THERE?
Danielle: *yells back sarcastically*
Danielle: I DON'T KNOW
Danielle: WHY DON'T YOU GO CHECK
Amon Amuff: well, you were up there
Amon Amuff: i thought it would be polite.
Danielle: WHY DON'T YOU GRAB EACH RUNG, ONE BY ONE, RUNG AFTER RUNG AND FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF
Amon Amuff: im allergic to grabbing
Amon Amuff: say, mind if i check your wounds?
Danielle: Well if you'd wipe off a bit of the blood on my back
Amon Amuff: maybe my wallet ended up in there.
Danielle: I might be nice enough to climb up there again
Amon Amuff: *starts jabbing the holes*
Danielle: Ow, hey
Amon Amuff: oh, sorry about the burning
Amon Amuff: ive been eating pretzels
Amon Amuff: *continues jabbing*
Danielle: Hmm, if you had a cigarette we could cauterize these wounds.
Danielle: Well I have one *lights up cigarette*
Amon Amuff: sorry, i only smoke pipes
Danielle: Tough cookies
Amon Amuff: *bubbles pour liberously out of my nostrils*
Amon Amuff: the smoothest.
Danielle: Stop touching my back you sicko.
Danielle: Well I'm going for another round on the slide
Danielle: *inhales some smoke*
Amon Amuff: ill be waiting at the locker room. i think im having TOO much fun!
Danielle: Your cumberbund is askew.
Amon Amuff: oh, thats just a scar from the vivisection
Danielle: Oh I see.
Amon Amuff: have fun! come to the lockerroom when youre done
Danielle: How about i take another run, get cleaned up by the onstaff nurse and meet you by the change rooms?
Danielle: Alright.
Amon Amuff: *saunters off in the direction of the womens changing room*
Danielle: *skips up the steps excitedly*
Danielle: -forward a bit-
Danielle: *steps out of the change room*
Danielle: Hey are those my clothes?
Danielle: *in a towel*
Amon Amuff: no, these are uh...hers
Danielle: You just said hers but didn't indicate anyone specifically.
Amon Amuff: *points to nude woman"
Danielle: Oh.
Amon Amuff: the naked one.
Amon Amuff: DUH!!!
Amon Amuff: hey, she has a nice set of hands on her
Amon Amuff: MINE!
Amon Amuff: HAHAHAHA!
Amon Amuff: *gropes strangers*
Danielle: *gets embarassed*
Amon Amuff: whats the matter?
Danielle: *nervously sips rum*
Amon Amuff: so, do you like bowling?
Danielle: It makes me slightly uncomfortable when you grope random people.
Danielle: Well I've only been ten pin bowling once, really.
Amon Amuff: oh, then lets change that!
Amon Amuff: want to go to this great bowling alley i know of?
Amon Amuff: it has a waterslide and everything!
Danielle: Are you sure you're not thinking of a dungeon in the basement for your house?
Danielle: Because you know, fool me once...
Amon Amuff: no, its not a dungeon this time, i promise
Danielle: Well alright
Danielle: One minute though please
Amon Amuff: ok, take your time
Danielle: *is still in a towel*
Danielle: *awkwardly slips into skirt and pulls a tank top over her head*
Danielle: *throws towel away*
Danielle: You never know with the diseases these days
Danielle: So do you have a car here?
Amon Amuff: yeah, there are diseases all over the place. im a biochemist.
Amon Amuff: of course i have a car
Amon Amuff: didnt i just say i was a biochemist?
Amon Amuff: lets roll!
Danielle: *hops through passenger window into car*
Amon Amuff: *peels out while youre still only half in*
Danielle: *window shards seep into my skin*
Danielle: haha, I'm in quite a bit of pain!
Amon Amuff: wooooooooo!
Danielle: *slips into window and fastens seatbelt*
Amon Amuff: *turns on radio, blasts jazz renditions of metallica*
Amon Amuff: EYEEEEEEEHAHAHAHAAYYYYYYYYAY!
Danielle: *gives self insulin injection*
Amon Amuff: SO WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?
Danielle: OH I'M INTO ALMOST ANYTHING
Danielle: MOST OFTEN DEATH METAL, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
Amon Amuff: YEAH
Amon Amuff: DO YOU LIKE DECAPITATED PIG ROCK MENSTRUAL BEANS?
Danielle: THOUGH FOR MY MONEY, NO ONE REALLY COMMUNICATES HURT LIKE AVRIL LAVIGNE, IT'S LIKE SHE HAS A USB CONNECTION TO MY HEART
Amon Amuff: OH, DO YOU LIKE COMPUTERS?
Danielle: WELL THOUGH I FIND THEM TRITE I DO LIKE THEIR HARDCORE RIFS AND HOW THEY CALL WOMEN BITCHES AND WHORES ALL THE TIME
Danielle: I AM A COMPUTER
Amon Amuff: THATS CRAZY!
Danielle: WELL, YEAH
Danielle: ALL WORKING PARTS, I MEAN I'M MADE FROM A HUMAN BEING, JUST ... Y'KNOW, SUPERIOR
Amon Amuff: HOW ARE YOU OPERATING WITHOUT A BATTERY OR A GENERATOR OR A BUNCH OF SOLAR PANELS OR COAL ENGINES?
Danielle: *shrugs and looks out window*
Danielle: OH I HAVE A BATTERY
Amon Amuff: WHAT SIZE?
Danielle: TWO AAA'S
Danielle: I'M VERY ENERGY EFFICIENT
Amon Amuff: WOW, I THOGHT THEY LOOKED BIGGER
Danielle: I DON'T GET IT.
Danielle: DID YOU JUST GO THROUGH THAT RED LIGHT?
Amon Amuff: YEAH, BUT ITS AFTER 6
Amon Amuff: IT DOESNT COUNT AFTER 6
Danielle: O OKAY
Amon Amuff: *sirens wail*
Amon Amuff: SEE?
Amon Amuff: THOSE SIRENS MEAN IM RIGHT
Amon Amuff: SO DO THE FLASHING LIGHTS
Danielle: YES THIS ALL MAKES SENSE
Amon Amuff: MAYBE I WON A PRIZE FOR RUNNING THE RED LIGHT
Amon Amuff: IF IT IS A SOFT PRIZE YOU CAN HAVE IT
Danielle: HOW KIND
Danielle: I BELIEVE THEY'D LIKE YOU TO PULL OVER
Amon Amuff: OH, DO YOU THINK THEYRE LOST?
Danielle: *lights up marijuana pipe*
Danielle: EITHER THAT OR PERHAPS THEY JUST WANT TO GET BY YOU
Amon Amuff: *pulls over and starts pounding shots of rum*
Danielle: CHILL OUT.
Danielle: *turns music down*
Amon Amuff: hello officer
Amon Amuff: well, yeah i did go through the light
Danielle: *waves through the window*
Amon Amuff: but its after 6
Amon Amuff: yeah thats my date
Danielle: *pulls skirt down subconsciously*
Amon Amuff: no, you cant search her "crevice" for "sex"
Amon Amuff: sex isnt even a drug
Danielle: WHAT IS HE SAYING?
Amon Amuff: wait, arent officers supposed to wear uniforms?
Amon Amuff: yeah, fuck you buddy
Amon Amuff: *speeds off*
Amon Amuff: *turns music back up*
Danielle: *inhales pipe*
Amon Amuff: LIKE THE NAVY HAS ANY JURISDICTION HERE
Danielle: *starts coughing uncontrolably*
Amon Amuff: ITS NOT LIKE WERE DRIVING THROUGH A RIVER
Amon Amuff: *crash*
Amon Amuff: WELL NOW WE ARE BUT STILL
Danielle: *face turns red*
Amon Amuff: THERE ARENT ANY LIGHTS HERE
Amon Amuff: *runs red light*
Amon Amuff: ...
Amon Amuff: WELL THERE ARENT ANY STOP SIGNS
Amon Amuff: *runs stop sign*
Danielle: *starts poking you for attention*
Amon Amuff: WHO BUILT THIS CITY?!
Danielle: *awkwardly wheezing up pot smoke*
Amon Amuff: WELL WERE KIND OF SINKING NOW
Amon Amuff: WANT TO MAKE OUT?
Danielle: *eyes are bloodshot*
Danielle: *nods frantically*
Amon Amuff: *puckers up and leans in*
Amon Amuff: *stops short and shoves your face away with an open hand*
Amon Amuff: HOLD ON I LOVE THIS PART!
Danielle: *coughs out pipe awkwardly*
Amon Amuff: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN WEEEEEEEEER DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
Amon Amuff: DUN DUN DUN
Amon Amuff: WEEEEEEEER
Amon Amuff: DUN DUN DUND UDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUDNUND
Danielle: *coughs and wheezes for a few minutes*
Amon Amuff: *headbangs frantically, striking the steering wheel with my face repeatedly
Amon Amuff: *DUN DUN DUND UND UNDUNDUND*
Amon Amuff: *airbag deploys*
Amon Amuff: WOW
Amon Amuff: WAS IT AS GOOD FOR YOU AS IT WAS FOR ME?!
Danielle: *wipes eyes*
Danielle: Sweetie you're bleeding
Danielle: *wipes blood from your face*
Amon Amuff: DONT WORRY ILL WASH IT OFF
Amon Amuff: *climbs out of car into the river*
Amon Amuff: thats the ticket
Danielle: I just peed
Amon Amuff: *gets carried away by the current*
Amon Amuff: HEY!
Danielle: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
Amon Amuff: HEY, I DONT THINK I CAN STOP
Amon Amuff: UM
Amon Amuff: UM
Amon Amuff: I HAD A GOOD TIME!
Amon Amuff: *sinks briefly*
Danielle: I DID TOO
Amon Amuff: *cough* I HOPE! *sputter* WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER *cough*
Danielle: I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'D HAVE SEX AND NEVER TALK AGAIN, BUT NOT HAVING SEX AND NOT TALKING AGAIN IS ALRIGHT TOO
Amon Amuff: AGAIN SOMETIME
Amon Amuff: *sinks*
Danielle: YOU HAVE PRETTY HAIR
Amon Amuff: *bubbles appear, then subside*
Danielle: *closes door and starts car*
Danielle: fucking standard
Danielle: *drives away with some trouble*

Champagne for my real friends; real pain for my sham friends.

flaming arrow
INTL Premium Member

old time judge suck cock

Ballkicks: (+1266 / -281)
Posts: 18725 (2.802)
Reg. Date: Mar 2002
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Gender: Female

That was fucking fantastic.

Zippo279: I told IF0 that I had a sex dream about him, but that was a lie.
Zippo279: Because he was in one of those "I'm feeling sorry for myself" moods and I wanted to shut him up.

Me
I am clothed and male.

To the rescue

Ballkicks: (+62 / -43)
Posts: 428 (0.07)
Reg. Date: Nov 2003
Location: Anacortes, Washington
Gender: Male

That was great, so was brad's and fa's.

I would have liked to participate.

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