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INTL v5.0 > Site Comments > Archives > Retarded Hall of Fame > Steamy Silvermoon: Blood Elf Erotic Roleplaying! > Viewing Thread
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playa 225 among 249 hatas (time of death: 12-14-14 06:54:31 PM)
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:popcorn gif:

balls
D
Champagne Roomies

POUR MILK DOWN MY THROAT WHILE I LOB THIS GRENADE

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playa 226 among 249 hatas (time of death: 12-14-14 07:20:21 PM)
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We've officially jumped the shark
flaming arrow

old time judge suck cock

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playa 227 among 249 hatas (time of death: 12-14-14 07:32:34 PM)
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For a moment, time stood still. Okita placed both hands on his Katana and lifted it, seeing his own reflection in the sacred blade while blue bolts of energy and globs of Republcian blood flew all around him.

"It... is time."


(Ysondre Kissmoon emerges from the orange smoke of the battlefield. She waves her hands, and all firing stops.)






"Oh, how I tire of your theatrics, human. I remember when you were screaming at Kael to go with you. He bent right over for me... and we would have gone all the way! PROSTATE POUNDING ACTION! SCREAMS OF PAIN AND PLEASURE! BUT NO! YOU AND THAT DAMNED ORC RUINED EVEYRTHING!


But now... you will give back what you stole. Tell me where Kael'thas is! TELL ME, OR YOU WILL DIE!"

"I will tell you nothing!" Okita yelled. "You will need no such information in the Hell I will send you to!"

The Samurai charged forward, and crashed his sword into the priestess's staff.

---------------------------------------------------------------


"Hah! El negro wishes to challenge the priestess?! Mucho mala luck for him! His friend will be dead, and he will fall to the assassins! Not a soul shall mourn for his desecrated corpse!

---------------------------------------------------------------



(Elgin Baylor is surrounded by 15 elite Fascist snipers, perched on the rooves of tents, battlements, walls and sentry towers. Most of the Republican troops have already retreated, but he stands valiant, twirling his basketball on his right index finger.)

(The fascists open fire, but they are no match for Baylor's lightning-fast reflexes. Baylor runs to the northern wall, dribbling the ball, and sends his surprise spinning blade of death at two of the snipers, who proceed to fall.

Both Communist and Fascist troops have dropped their weapons, keeping their eyes locked on his graceful body as he launches himself to the top of the wall with a single jump, dribbles to the next Snipers whose point-blank shots are not quick enough, and creates a bloodbath at the upper parts of the camp.)

--------------------------------------------------------


"Mucho athleticism! This shall be harder than we thought!"
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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(Ysondre's staff snaps in two from Okita's powerful blow, sending out a wave of magical energy that knocks both against the rocks on the battlefield. She ascends from the ground, spattered in dirt and blood, eyes mad with ire. Okita leaps up and spits defiantly.)
"You BASTARD! How DARE you break my precious staff?! I spent years and years plunging it into my wet, voracious vagina, thinking about Kael's sweet, sw..."
Okita is already on the move. "MUMYO-KEN!" he yells as he charges into her with his Katana, slashing her neck and shoulders open before she could even lift her blade. The Priestess uses Flash Heal to repair the damage, and places a holy bubble of protection around herself as she stumbles back.

"FIRE!", she yells.
Okita is taken aback as the Mana Bolts from the tanks begin to fly in. Elgin scoops him up and runs off before his inevitable death, though some kind of blue projectile apparently hit his knees.
"YOU HAVE NO HONOR!" Okita shouts back at the Priestess.



"Honor?! HAHAHA! HONOR IS WHAT WE MAKE OF IT, HUMAN!

I WILL BE HONORED WHEN I'M FUCKING KAEL IN THE PALACIO REAL DE MADRID, AND WHAT IS LEFT OF YOUR MEN ARE WIPING UP OUR SWEET JUICES!"

(The priestess turns to her second-in-command.)
"Destroy Elgin! Fuck Okita UP! I don't give a damn if you all have to die; kill those bastards! AND BRING. ME. KAEL!"


"Senorita, we have discovered his weakness. Even while he scooped up that bastard Okita, we struck his knees! He is vulnerable now!"
Now a fully fifty yards away, Elgin felt his legs give out. He and Okita came crashing against the ground, Okita landing gracefully, Elgin falling flat on his face.



"ALL TANKS! ALL ARTILLERY! AIM FOR ELGIN AND OKITA! BLOW THEM BOTH TO HELL!"

Both of them look up to see dozens of pieces of artillery fire, some coated with magic, otherers smoking from pure gunpowder, beginning to arch down toward their position. Elgin's legs are broken. Okita cannot possibly move away fast enough. As a last act of defiance, Elgin free-throws his bladed basketball at the second-in-command's neck, decapitating him instantly.

"It's been a good ride, my friend," Okita says as he plants his Katana in the dirt and kneels to accept his fate, looking at the massive Fascist army, ten times the size Ysondres' current forces, coming to reinforce her. "May we meet again in the world to come."

"Aye," said Elgin, coughing up blood. "We tried our best to lead this army. Coaching is easy. Winning... is the hard part."
Cyan lines cross both of their bodies, and white static fills them as slowly dissapear into thin air.

"Grim!" Okita yells as he went up to hug the mercenary he hired. Reluctantly, but wholeheartedly, the orc pats him on the back.
"Sorry we were late," Kael says as he steps into the teleporter room. "We were... delayed for a while. Had to kill a few dragons, talk to a few cat-people, meet a few Starfleet officers... but now, the real fun begins! NOW, WE HAVE A WAR TO WIN!"
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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Okita and Elgin nod in an overly serious fashion.

"My knees..." says Okita "have contracted tuberculosis."

Elgin Baylor is saddened by this news as though it had been said about his own knees, which also ached. "Winning will not be easy. I may score us many points, but I do not know that we will win the day."

how is this for a quote
Hasty Penguin
get in the box
People are a danger to society.

there is a guy who gets it on with three girls at once and they all have amazing unibrows

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"Captain Picard! The enemy priestess is lifting off in an Aeroplane. She has ordered her men to detonate ALL their mana-bombs in sixty seconds!"



"Mana bombs?! No, it can't be! They would wipe out the entire Republican army in one fell swoop, and most of her own troops as well! What is she thinking?!"



"She cares nothing for her troops," says Okita. "Only you. ONLY your sacred man-cave. ONLY... the meat that lies within!"



"There is only one course of action. We must use the Enterprise's shield-generators to wall off the camp, lest the war is over. Let that bitch board the Enterprise in that... primitive plane if she wants. We need to wipe out these Fascists, and save the Repubicans!

Geordi, allow me to use your Warp Core. I may be able to use its energies to create a giant shield around the camp long enough to deflect the explosions. Try to combine your tractor beam and shield generators to reinforce it."


"I can give you three minutes, tops. Otherwise, this thing is going to blow, and we'll be stuck on this damn planet forever!"


That's all I'll need!

(Kael'thas teleports to the engineering room and extends his arms, sending torrents of blue energy into the warp core. Like clay being molded from a cylinder into a dome, the whole area of the camp becomes surrounded with an increasingly spherical mana-shield. When the weapons detonate, the entire region of Barcelona flares up with magical energy... but the Communist forces cheer. They are saved!


"Captain, you do realize we just exhausted 100% of our shield generator's power? All it would take is one mana-bomb directed up here to..."


This sly williker sooth-sayed his words 'roundabout 12-15-14 02:07:06 AM by Dong Kollector Jax.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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Thanks, Hasty. I was going to say that Okita had contracted tuberculosis after the battle, but I forgot.

When my memory failed, you stepped in. You were like Elgin Baylor swooping me up when I needed to be saved.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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playa 232 among 249 hatas (time of death: 12-14-14 08:53:24 PM)
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that's why they call me "Elgin Baylor"

how is this for a quote
Hasty Penguin
get in the box
People are a danger to society.

there is a guy who gets it on with three girls at once and they all have amazing unibrows

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playa 233 among 249 hatas (time of death: 12-14-14 09:06:58 PM)
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KAEL'THAS 3



"Hah! Not to worry. I teleported us all onto one of their emergency shuttles. That crew was from one of the 'alternate' universes of the Federation world... that much I learned. The real Picard would never disregard the Prime Directive."




"We can have a pity party later. What the hell is that... thing, elf?"




"That, my good friend, is a Warp Coil," responds Kael. "No need to let that go to waste. We can use it to maintain the shield for as long as we want once we land, now that it's no longer connected to the ship."


"I... cannot continue in the battle, Elgin. The Tuberculosis is too strong. I must return to my own people, in my own time. You will be the only general for the Republic left."


The four heroes successfully pilot the shuttle back to the Barcelona camp to great adulation from the remaining anti-Fascists. Both sides have called for a temporary ceasefire due to the shock of the mana-bombs.

"Elgin, you have been a brother to me. As have you, Grim, and Kael. I give you all this gift."

"This is a sword made by Kiyomitsu of the Kaga Province, the blade which cut the air and created the first portal which brought us to these other worlds. It has drunk the blood of the Priestess. If you imbue it with the proper magics, it alone can pierce through her Holy Shield."

(Kael opens a portal to 19th century Kyoto)

"Farewell, my brother in arms," the Prince said. "Thank you for saving me from that butt-pounding bitch."
This sly williker sooth-sayed his words 'roundabout 12-14-14 09:15:19 PM by Dong Kollector Jax.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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George Orwell spends several more days on the boring Aragon front, wondering why his enemy had almost entirely withdrawn its forces, but continuing to pour through his collection of novels and chop firewood. At last, action arrives: a single Fascist warrior comes to engage him in single combat, and Orwell chases him with his bayonette into the nearby forest.

Suddenly, the ground shakes, and the western sky explodes in a white light that condenses into a single point: Barcelona.

"My word!" he exclaims, then damns himself for using such a cliche phrase. "The front in Barcelona is where I will be going."

"Men!" he yelled to all of those around him. "Ignore your chain of command. The world itself is breaking apart! Follow me, and we will take the Fascists head-on!"

"DEATH TO FASCISM!" cry the men around him. "NO USTED! NO USTED!" They march on, oblivious to his inaction, while he continues thumbing through his novel.

"Just another chapter," he said to himself. "That was a rousing speech, though. I'm quite proud."
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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playa 235 among 249 hatas (time of death: 12-14-14 09:31:33 PM)
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1. FUCK YOUR RULES

2. I STARTED YSONDRE AND I'M GOING TO FINISH HER
Action Jaxon

Leave my waifu alone, you fucks!

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playa 236 among 249 hatas (time of death: 12-14-14 09:32:40 PM)
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Elgin's knee troubles are only amplified by the parting sorrow he feels for his samurai friend. He is now the Man of Nine Hundred Ninety Six Moves.

how is this for a quote
Hasty Penguin
get in the box
People are a danger to society.

there is a guy who gets it on with three girls at once and they all have amazing unibrows

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"Damn it all to Hell!" Ysondre scoffs to herself as she fumbles with the controls to land her plane. Blue smoke covers the battlefield, but most of the dead are her own men.

The reinforcements from Madrid soon rally around her, however. The bulk of the Fascist army, formerly under franco, is now her. She closes her eyes and draws in ALL of the mana from the detonated weapons.


"Senorita! We are at your command."

A large, round translucent blue shield forms around the came. Kael has activacted the core.

"BLAST!" yells Ysondre Kissmoon. "WE WILL FIND A WAY TO..."
she looks at her spiked dildo
"YESSSSS."
***********************************
"Grond! Grond! Grond! Grond!
Ysondre has used her magic to transform the sex toy into a gigantic battering ram. Now, her men move up to slam it into Kael'thas' shield!


"Grond! Grond! Grond! Grond! GROND! GROND!!
LOL IM SUCH A FAG!! she might be battering something else pretty soon kekeke u give soj???
Action Jaxon

Leave my waifu alone, you fucks!

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GAH! That battering ram has... MAXIMUM PENETRATION MAGIC! I can only take.--GAUUUAH!-- so many hits...


"Which means that shield has to come down, sooner or later," Grim says. "But listen. But it won't be like before. My crossbow is gone..."


"And my legs are broken."


You must combine your strengths, and supplement your weaknesses! Elgin still is the most flexible man alive. Surely one of your thousand moves... is a human slingshot!


"What the fuck?"


You must trust me! I have enough magic to create projectiles that will be enough to destroy their front line. I will then use all of my mana--ALL OF IT--and all of the warp core's remaining power to assist our troops in destroying the Fascist forces.


(Grim spits.)
"This isn't what I signed up for. But damn it, I hate that stinking wench. This one's for free."


"Can't you just heal my legs?"


(Kael shrugs)
I'm a mage, not a priest.

(The Elf Prince turns to the remaining Republican forces.)

"In a few moments, this shield will be lifted. You will face their tanks, their artillery, their air-support, and their infantry head-on. But you will not face it alone. The three of us will help you to our last breath. And when we get to that slutty priestess..."

(Kael draws the sword, and the crowd cheers.)

"I will deal with her myself."
This sly williker sooth-sayed his words 'roundabout 12-14-14 10:03:24 PM by Dong Kollector Jax.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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Grim looks out at the battlefield. In the few moments before the blue, shimmering warp-shield dissipates, his whole life passes through his mind. He was an infant, coddled... then abandoned. He was a young man taken in by a bowmaster who was murdered by Dark Elves shortly after. The only purpose he found in this world was fighting other peoples' wars. He'd done it everywhere, from the Forgotten Realms to Camelot to Azeroth to Skyrim... all the bloody battles... all the near-losses... all to end here.

He loaded Elgin on his back.
"Fuck no," he spat.

The ammo-feeder was ready. Slowly, with an unearthly buzz, the shield lifts from the top to the bottom... and the shots rang out. Both sides charge into each other with a hail of bullets preceeding them. The massive Fascist artillery line explodes in thunder and black smoke, but Elgin Baylor loads up the charges.
"Ready, orc?"
"You're damn right I'm ready," says Grim. For the first time in memory, Elgin sees him smile.
Dong Kollector Jax
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[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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"Mussolini's bombers are here! Our tanks fill the streets! THEY FALL LIKE FLIES! This city is yours, Nationalists!"

(the ground in front of her explodes in blue fire)

"What?"

"What the fuck do you think?!" Grim yelled from afar as he aimed Elgin's sleek body, and Elgin's elastic free-throw pelted blue death all over a whole line of tank treads and artillery vehicles.

(Ysondre shields herself.) "Men, get rid of this nuisance! Radio Mussolini's bombers to target that human slingshot!"


"Aye, comandante! All units to..."




"Forward, men!" Kael shouts. "Storm the city! We will take care of their air support!"

thanks fm
Action Jaxon

Leave my waifu alone, you fucks!

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"Príncipe! The enemy forces are clustered now in the valley. We have retreated there, as Comandante Baylor instructed."



"Here goes nothing..."

(Kael'thas picks up the Warp Core, charges it with explosive energy, hands it to Elgin Baylor, who combined his strength with Grim's forward motion to hurtle it into the valley, fully obliterating it in an explosion of dirt, ash and light.)

Despite overwhelming odds, things begin looking brighter and brighter for the Republic in Barcelona. Mussolini's air support quickly abandoned the fight, realizing staying was sure death, the infantry count for both sides was now evening out, and Elgin Baylor's energy-throws had halved their artillery.

However..."



"My mana... is depleted. We will have to finish the rest of this fight on our own. Wha..."



(Speechless, Kael sees the massive lineup of Hitler's panzer tanks emerging from the north. The Nazis have come to reinforce the Spanish Fascists.)


"Hah, Kaely-baby! So much destruction both of us are causing. I'm soooo wet just thinking about it. If you want to, I'll fuck you right now on the battlefield."


"You can take that battering ram and shove it up your own ass! You used your Goblin mage to deceive me, tried to destroy my anus repeatedly, broke Elgin's legs, gave Okita Tuberculosis, destroyed the Enterprise, accepted aid from Mussolini and Hitler, and now you expect me to fuck you? You can go to Hell!"


"Oh, what a pity. PANZERS, MOVE IN! BLITZKREIG!"
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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"The Panzers... can't be stopped! No matter how much I throw at them..."

(Elgin hurtles another blue magic-ball at the approaching vehicles.)

"It doesn't put a scratch on them."



(Grim stood back, deep in thought. He remembered the ring, and the crossbow. Those things don't work for everyone... at least not nearly to the same effect. But for some reason, there was a time when he destroyed an entire army.

Was it really the crossbow?

"No," he thought. "And not the runes, either. There was a reason Kael sensed something in me..."

His mind flashed back to the tavern in Waterdeep, to his father, the rapist, and his mother, who abandoned him. To the ring that brought him to these strange worlds... and to Kael's odd interest in him, as if there was some unusual magic inside him, something so special that Kael analyzed his very spit.

"Chosen," he realized. "I must be one of the Chosen...")

Grim looked back at his friends as the Panzers approached, gently placing Elgin on the ground.



"I've spent my whole life taking," he said. "Stealing rings, earning gold, taking lives. But now... is the time when I give back."

"GRUUMSH! GIVE ME THE STRENGTH!" he yelled as he charged headlong into the the Nazi troops. He pulled out his glowing half-sword in one hand, and placed his honorary weapon from being the Thane of Whiterun in the other. Suddenly, a portal to the Forgotten Realms opened in the sky, and an orange lightning-bolt struck his body, fire burgeoning from his veins.

With a great woosh, Grim disappeared, the Nazis and the Fascists all combusted in fire. Every tank melted. Every soldier's face disintegrated into ash as Gruumsh's firey envy of humanity consumed him. But Grim's will was resolute, and all of Elgin's forces were kept alive.
This sly williker sooth-sayed his words 'roundabout 12-15-14 01:40:46 AM by Dong Kollector Jax.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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"You will be remembered, my friend," Kael said solemnly as the Communist forces erupted in cheers. But Ysondre slowly stood up from the ground, the only survivor of Gruumsh's Grim-directed onslaught.



"Remembered," she spat hoarsely. "How forgetful you are, to speak of memory. Because while you have spent all of your mana... I absorbed an entire armada of mana bombs."

She laughed a laugh that no longer feigned any affection for Kael, having nothing but pure, unadulterated hatred. The entire line of soldiers around him was now consumed in Holy Fire, burning alive.


"I'm making a pass!" said Elgin, as he threw the sacred Katana into Kael's hands.


The Priestess ignored them both, and murdered another line of defenseless Communists.


"Listen, Ysondre! Take up your sword. I'm the one you want! Defeat me in battle..."

Kael looked back at his troops. Their lives were worth the risk.

"And you shall have me, for whatever you want."
Dong Kollector Jax
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[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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Ysondre eyed the Katana, knowing she would have that, as well.

"Alright, Kaely-baby," she said, smiling that "kekeke u give soj???" smile. Immediately, a bubble of yellow energy shieled her body, and the ground around them both erupted in a massive Holy Nova.





Kael staggered back. His face was cut with rock-shards and burned from the strike, though he tried to cover it as best he could. He raised his Katana as the priestess raised her sword.

"By my right as Prince of Quel'Thalas, I deem you... A TRAITOR!" he screamed as he jumped forward. The Priestess simply teleported out of the way.



"I am sooooo impressed!" she yelled. "Kaely has a little fight in him. But I have more than enough magic in me to kill you ten times over."

Tendrils of light ripped throughout Kael's body, slicing through his chest, stomach, arms and legs.

The priestess healed him.

"But I'm not here to kill you. Just teach you a lesson." LOL IM SUCH A FAG!!

She came closer as he shivered in pain, split his chest open with her magic, exposing his beating heart, took a bite of it, and healed him again.



"Ignore the pain!" yelled Elgin. "Always look for your openings! Use the healing as a chance to strike!"


Kael jumped forward and lunged the katana toward her heart... but it wasn't enough to break the shield.


"Oh, believing Okita's words, are we? Tsk, tsk. Gullible little prince. THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU!"

Ysondre slashed Kael's chest with her blade, leaving a deep cut. But when she went to heal him, he jumped to the side... and the spell fell on Elgin, whose legs were restored.


"Now, Elgin!" Kael yelled as he bled out. "Time for the slam dunk!"

Kael had strategically shifted the battle all the way in front of the dildo/battering ram. Effortlessly, the basketball legend lept up and began pulling the ram back for a strike.

As the priestess gasped, Kael concentrated just as Okita once did, causing the blade to hum, and slashed the shield open, just before Elgin rammed the bitch with the full force of the siege device and slammed her against a stone wall.

When she was crushed, Kael impaled her with the sword.
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[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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KAEL'THAS 4

One month later, in the shining halls of Silvermoon, Kael and his remaining companions, Okita Sōji, Elgin Baylor, Spanish Republican representatives and the most loyal of his soldiers all celebrated their victory.

"You have done a great deed, and cemented the alliance between Quel'Thalas and your respective peoples," said Anasterian Sunstrider, Kael's father, the King. "But you have also returned my son to me alive. For that, I am eternally grateful."

"But we must not forget the fallen," said Kael'thas. "Grim. Lord Fozzlebottom... and countless others on the battlefield. This alliance was costly... but that is the price of freedom for you and your party."

"Do not relinquish it," said Okita sternly to the Communist representatives at the court.

"Well," said Elgin, "That's what I call a buzzer beater. We've done it all. For the Lakers, for Japan, for Quel'Thalas..."

"For Spain," interjected a brash representative.

"For all life," said Anasterian, soundly.

"I'm afraid there's one more matter to attend to," said Kael'thas Sunstrider. "There are a few... ladies who you caught the attention of when I told them our tale. They wish to become your wives."

"You know what that means!" said Okita.

"Blood elf bitches!" said Elgin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that's what I call a Steamy Silvermoon adventure. LOL IM SUCH A FAG!!

But that's not all. For the conclusion to our tale, let's go back to Barcelona.
This sly williker sooth-sayed his words 'roundabout 12-15-14 02:14:04 AM by Dong Kollector Jax.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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George Orwell fought valiantly but foolishly during the Battle of Barcelona, and was wounded in the throat by a sniper's bullet, as he was an easy target, being much taller than the malnourished Spaniards he fought against. The bullet narrowly missed a vital artery, but he was successfully treated and was later discharged from service.


"Ah, nothing like a good cup of coffee to wet the throat on a cold day."


"Ah, yes. 'Tis a shame I could not share it with Kael'thas Sunstrider and Okita... though their excuse is understandable."

(The old man laughs.)


"Yes! The most valiant heroes of our time. A pity I never met them in person."


"But the work they started... we must finish. We have already fought off the Fascist attacks from without... but we must now stop them from within.

Beginning with those filthy Trotskyists... and the fascists by other names, the Anarchists, the Marxists...

"FUCK THE ANARCHISTS!" rang two-thirds of the room. "FUCK YOU!" sounded the other. George Orwell was clearly very uncomfortable.


He cleared his throat. "Down with the fascists!" he yelled. Suddenly, the whole room was in union again, chanting with him, if only for a while.

As he stepped out of the parlor, Orwell saw fighting in the streets, not between Republican Communists and Fascist Nationalists, but between the Communists themselves. "Gee, I do hate fascism," he said to himself, "but I never stopped to think how much I'd hate the other side, as well."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soon after Ysondre's military defeat, the Undead Lich Francisco Franco reclaimed control of the Fascist forces, and in 1939, he began his long dictatorship of Spain in secret service of the Lich King, due mostly to the infighting within the Republican resistance. However, George Orwell would escape Spain and continue fighting Fascism for the rest of his life. By the 1970's, ideas like Orwell's had influenced the Spanish population enough to formally transition from Undead Lich dictatorship to Burning Legion-influenced democracy.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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In the last second before the battering-dildo struck her, Ysondre Kissmoon used the magic she had absorbed to create Mana Shields around most of her vital organs. Now, with the Republican troops gone and Kael's vile party already in Quel'Thalas, she cast a spell of healing to repair all the damage to her body and remove the sword from her rib cage.



"That... was painful. But no matter. Kael will still be mine. That sweet boy pussy... and I will have my revenge on his friends, as well! HAHAHA! Soooo gullible... kekeke u give soj???"

Quoted from Action Jaxon:
No... no... NO! THIS ISN'T OVER! I WILL HAVE YOUR VIRGIN ASSHOLE, PRINCE OF QUEL'THALAS!

mark...
MY

FUCKING

WORDS!!!!




The words echoed in her mind as she boarded the Federation shuttle. By then, some of the guards had noticed her and started shooting at the ship as it took off. All too little, and all too late.
Action Jaxon

Leave my waifu alone, you fucks!

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"This is easier than flying that airplane! Hmmm... where should I go now?"

(Ysondre twirled the sword in her hand.)

"I think... the universe with the Zerg! I can become the new Zerg Queen, invade Earth, use Earth's resources, and then invade Azeroth and steal Kael! Or maybe I could go to Cybertron, take over those robots... oh my... so many possibilities! Let's see if this thing even works."

(Ysondre slashes the air. Nothing.)

"Oh, right. Concentration."

(She closed her eyes, and the sword began to hum. Rather than slash it again, she used her magic to probe into the recesses of the blade, trying to discover every secret it hid. She held it in the air for a good while, tugging at the metaphysical strings that bind the universes together.)

(Suddenly, with a great flash of light, a figure appeared in the other corner of the shuttle.)

"Hm!" said Ysondre. "Who might you be?"

"Taretha?" said Lord Fozzlebottom, rubbing his eyes, his magic ring still glowing with heat. "I KNEW IT WAS YOU!"



"Stay away from me," she said. "AWAY FROM ME!"

Ysondre struck a threatening pose with the Katana, and immediately, Lord Fozzlebottom's ring began glowing again. Ysondre was no longer Taretha, but the Kaiser himself, holding the scimitar aloft.
REVOLUTION! He reflexively punched her in the gut, stole the Katana, and dig it into the controls panel so deeply that all the lights turned off, causing sparks to fly everywhere.

Ysondre saw another flash of light, and Lord Fozzlebottom was gone. Soon, the vessel turned down, and as she saw the face of an approaching Earth fill the front glass, she fell into it, causing it to crack.



"Oh fuck," she said.

No longer sealed from the vacuum and burning in free-fall, the vessel imploded into a ball of molten metal that melted her carcass and streaked like a shooting star across the skies of Catalonia.



THE END

This sly williker sooth-sayed his words 'roundabout 12-15-14 03:20:49 AM by Dong Kollector Jax.
Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters

[CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]

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HOF
flaming arrow

old time judge suck cock

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fuck up the srevers
Display Signature?
wtf is this doe
look at the little dudes?
codey beat his wife
have no life?
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