playa 228 among 249 hatas
(time of death: 12-14-14 08:23:23 PM)
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(Ysondre's staff snaps in two from Okita's powerful blow, sending out a wave of magical energy that knocks both against the rocks on the battlefield. She ascends from the ground, spattered in dirt and blood, eyes mad with ire. Okita leaps up and spits defiantly.)
"You BASTARD! How DARE you break my precious staff?! I spent years and years plunging it into my wet, voracious vagina, thinking about Kael's sweet, sw..."
Okita is already on the move. "MUMYO-KEN!" he yells as he charges into her with his Katana, slashing her neck and shoulders open before she could even lift her blade. The Priestess uses Flash Heal to repair the damage, and places a holy bubble of protection around herself as she stumbles back.
"FIRE!", she yells.
Okita is taken aback as the Mana Bolts from the tanks begin to fly in. Elgin scoops him up and runs off before his inevitable death, though some kind of blue projectile apparently hit his knees.
"YOU HAVE NO HONOR!" Okita shouts back at the Priestess.

"Honor?! HAHAHA! HONOR IS WHAT WE MAKE OF IT, HUMAN!
I WILL BE HONORED WHEN I'M FUCKING KAEL IN THE PALACIO REAL DE MADRID, AND WHAT IS LEFT OF YOUR MEN ARE WIPING UP OUR SWEET JUICES!"
(The priestess turns to her second-in-command.)
"Destroy Elgin! Fuck Okita UP! I don't give a damn if you all have to die; kill those bastards! AND BRING. ME. KAEL!"

"Senorita, we have discovered his weakness. Even while he scooped up that bastard Okita, we struck his knees! He is vulnerable now!"
Now a fully fifty yards away, Elgin felt his legs give out. He and Okita came crashing against the ground, Okita landing gracefully, Elgin falling flat on his face.

"ALL TANKS! ALL ARTILLERY! AIM FOR ELGIN AND OKITA! BLOW THEM BOTH TO HELL!"
Both of them look up to see dozens of pieces of artillery fire, some coated with magic, otherers smoking from pure gunpowder, beginning to arch down toward their position. Elgin's legs are broken. Okita cannot possibly move away fast enough. As a last act of defiance, Elgin free-throws his bladed basketball at the second-in-command's neck, decapitating him instantly.
"It's been a good ride, my friend," Okita says as he plants his Katana in the dirt and kneels to accept his fate, looking at the massive Fascist army, ten times the size Ysondres' current forces, coming to reinforce her. "May we meet again in the world to come."
"Aye," said Elgin, coughing up blood. "We tried our best to lead this army. Coaching is easy. Winning... is the hard part."
Cyan lines cross both of their bodies, and white static fills them as slowly dissapear into thin air.
"Grim!" Okita yells as he went up to hug the mercenary he hired. Reluctantly, but wholeheartedly, the orc pats him on the back.
"Sorry we were late," Kael says as he steps into the teleporter room. "We were... delayed for a while. Had to kill a few dragons, talk to a few cat-people, meet a few Starfleet officers... but now, the real fun begins! NOW, WE HAVE A WAR TO WIN!"
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Dong Kollector Jax
INTL Dick Twisters
 [CEMETARY MAN (1994) SPOILERS]
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