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Air Bud
Internet Superstar

Some plants even masturbate into their own vaginas in order to reproduce.

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(Originally posted on: 09-18-03 05:46:39 AM)
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INTL has grown larger and larger over the years. It's become a haven for people who wish to express their opinions without fear of censorship, provided they aren't complete morons. However, I've decided to make INTL a family site. That's right, a family site.

So in order to make way for this changeover, there will be some rather drastic changes to the way INTL will be moderated. Below is a small list of rules that I've drafted in order to prepare for this switch.

  1. Swear words will no longer be allowed. Anyone attempting to bypass those swear filters will be banned indefinitely. In fact, any words that vaguely resemble swear words will be filtered. And don't even think about saying "d*rn" instead of "d*mn", because the "lesser" replacements of known swear words are filtered as well. Oh, you'll be banned if you as much as take the lord's name in vain.
  2. Any forumer that attempts to belittle another forumer will be banned. This intolerance of each other's beliefs has gone too far. I'm sick of seeing all this anti-semitism, and racial stuff. This will no longer be tolerated. Users violating this rule will be banned indefinitely.
  3. Bandwidth leeching will now be allowed. We no longer care about respecting the bandwidth of other servers. Screw them. It's okay to bandwidth leech, because due to the drastic changes that INTL will be going through, merely right-clicking each image that is posted to make sure that the user isn't leeching will just be too much work for our slav... moderators.
  4. Moderators will need to undergo extensive psychoanalysis testing, pass a four-stage polygraph test, write a ten-thousand word essay titled, "Why I Deserve To Be A Moderator of Interesting Nonetheless", sign a ten-year contract that will legally bind them to INTL, and also pass any and all urinalyses that will be administered at random intervals while they retain their moderatorship at INTL. If at any time, the moderator fails a urinalysis and/or attempts to break the contract by quitting or acting "unprofessionally" will result in a breach of contract lawsuit being brought up against the moderator that is in violation.
  5. Any thread that makes reference to any forums other than INTL will be immediately closed by a moderator.
  6. Pornography will, naturally, no longer be allowed. In fact, posting any images of scantily clad women or men will be hidden for fear of violating our new mission statement.
  7. Any threads that engage in discussing drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or sex in a positive light will be immediately closed. We don't want people thinking that INTL encourages these horrible, horrible sins. Naturally, "The Erogenous Zone" will be purged and renamed "The Chastity Zone". This forum will be for the discussing the wonders and joys of abstinence.
  8. Any forumer that admits to being homosexual and/or atheist will be IP banned (or possibly have their domain banned, if needed) and reported to the proper authorities.
  9. Posting chatlogs is strictly prohibited and will result in a warning, then a ban. We, here at INTL, respect the privacy of everyone, everywhere. The last thing we need is to be sued because we allowed our members to post PRIVATE chatlogs about dinner recipes.
  10. Any threads that discuss the use of chatrooms that could in any way be confused for Official INTL chatrooms will be closed and hidden. I mean, what if someone breaks the swear filter in that chatroom? We'd be held liable and we don't want that legal responsibility! And trust me, there's a lot!
  11. It will be okay for new users to create a "Hi, I'm New!" thread in order to introduce themselves to the forum. Failure to create a thread of this sort will likely alienate the user from the forum and will likely result in the users not being known by the other users. Likewise, whenever a forumer goes on vacataion or leaves for school, it will be okay for them to create a thread announcing this fact, so that other forumers can engage in a discussion about how everyone wishes them luck and a safe return.
  12. "Serious Discussions" will be purged and renamed to "Bible Discussions".
  13. Negative karma will no longer be visible by anyone other than administrators. However, positive karma will be visible. We wouldn't want anyone to feel bad because they have more negative karma than positive karma. In fact, we're just going to do away with negative karma altogether.
  14. Five-million new, poorly designed, and utterly useless emoticons will be introduced once we buy and install our new 80GB disk drive dedicated to serving emoticons.
  15. Forumers will be able to create threads using the [ATTN:] and [BANME] tags, just as long as they don't abuse these thread tags.
  16. Any attempt to sway a thread from the originally discussion set forth by the thread author will result in a ban. We're sick of seeing perfectly good threads about how the thread author just farted being hijacked by trolls that wish nothing more than to ridicule the author or such threads. This is counterproductive and will no longer be tolerated.


As of right now, that's all I've got. More rules will follow. Oh, believe me! More rules WILL follow! Plenty of rules. There'll be so many rules, don't be surprised if replying to a thread or creating a new thread results in a ban.

From this point forth, willfully cooperate and obey these rules or THE INTL MODERATORS WILL TAKE NO MERCY ON YOU!

RESISTENCE IS FUTILE!
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 1 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 05:50:23 AM)
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Well fuck.

I mean darn!
I mean dark!
I mean Fark!


I AM A NINJA!
"What's the difference between onions and hookers?..... I cry when I cut up onions"
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 2 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:11:15 AM)
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PS. Burn the Jews.
"What's the difference between onions and hookers?..... I cry when I cut up onions"
Scruffy - The Janitor
Alcoholics Anonymous
While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing Piggy.

Pimpin is just a haircut and a shave away!

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Reply 3 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:14:14 AM)
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If I think this is the funniest thing I've read on INTL in months does that make me a bad person?

And if it doesnt, does the fact that I enjoy sex with the charred corpses of black-jewish babies?
The true meaning of Alvistime is drinkin'. Drinkin' and revenge. Now drink with me deeply of the burbon scotch and rye until such time as we are fighting drunk. Then we shall find and beat the asses of the non-believers.

Why can't we not be sober? Just want to start this over. Why can't we drink forever? I just want to start this over.
antpocas
"Sex is not dating."
"If it were, Santana and I would be dating.


GLEEK

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Reply 4 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:21:48 AM)
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You should enable your karma.

Pertti Susilainen
Head Priest

mr. sukkit

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Reply 5 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:27:50 AM)
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Quick, give Zen a link.
I got the chance, now I'm gonna take it
I don't know, I might not even make it
I'll follow rules that are made up by me
I wasted time too long, now
it's up to me
Mingan
INTL Alumni
Mmm Skyscraper I Love You

Why are we having this wedding? because Abraham Lincoln, of course!

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Reply 6 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:28:00 AM)
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It's funny how they think you're not serious.
Desperation -> d espE RAtI on -> A Repo Edsn It -> A Rope Ends It || Don't tell me, Show me.

They say I live in Yamsterdam, I don't buy it. I don't even like yam
Scruffy - The Janitor
Alcoholics Anonymous
While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing Piggy.

Pimpin is just a haircut and a shave away!

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Reply 7 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:29:34 AM)
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Quoted from Mingan:
It's funny how they think you're not serious.
He's serious? Holy frick! Jesus roXors! hehehe.......

plz dnt bananaa me? HEIN!!!
The true meaning of Alvistime is drinkin'. Drinkin' and revenge. Now drink with me deeply of the burbon scotch and rye until such time as we are fighting drunk. Then we shall find and beat the asses of the non-believers.

Why can't we not be sober? Just want to start this over. Why can't we drink forever? I just want to start this over.
Wandering Idiot
INTL Premium Member

Surely something dumber has come up since my apparent forgetfulness for STDs and doctor visits.

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Reply 8 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:45:16 AM)
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Well, I have one word, and one word only for this situation....Fuck.
Super-teen extraordinaire,
Freakazoid, Freakazoid,
Runs around in underwear,
Freakazoid, Freakazoid!
Stormraider
User is currently banned until further notice.

im gay

Reply 9 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:49:39 AM)
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You forgot to mention how the name will be changed from InterestingNoneTheLess to DenyYourself.com.
Stormraider- 73.275% of your daily dose of Cynical Jackass!!
"Fight the war, fuck the norm. Now I got no patience;So sick of complacence. With the D the E the F the I the A the N the C the E. Mind of a revolutionary, so clear the lane" - RATM
Wanderlust
Background Forummers

"lad's new rut"

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Reply 10 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 06:59:13 AM)
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It's about time Sandamnit started worrying about our eternal salvation.
[insert something witty here]
Sixten Sparre
Épater la bourgeoisie

wears neckerchiefs

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Reply 11 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 07:17:01 AM)
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Fuck, you had me on the first point......
Der findes mennesker som ikke er danske, de bor i huler og slås hele dagen.
Det har vi lige godt aldrig gjort, de varme lander er noget lort.
peach
I get enamoured

Just call me "Mom"

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Reply 12 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 07:32:50 AM)
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Quoted from Stormraider:
You forgot to mention how the name will be changed from InterestingNoneTheLess to DenyYourself.com.
Or ExcitingAsPapercuts.com perhaps TheMargerineOfBoredom or BarneysPlayAlong.com/bringCandyland
"What's the difference between onions and hookers?..... I cry when I cut up onions"
Skye
INTL Premium Member
Droog Queen

I love Skye

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Reply 13 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 07:52:24 AM)
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But Jeff...if we make it a DYSFUNCTIONAL family site based in some backwoods area, we can leave our site exactly the same. MAGUSMAGUSMAGUSMAGUS

The HEIN!!! is spooking me out.
"My Mom bought this toilet paper with Bible sayings printed on it, but I told her like if the Pope came by and had to take a shit we'd all get excommunicated and sent to hell." --Buff, SubUrbia
Coca-Cola
INTL Premium Member

MY WIG-WAM WOKS!

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Reply 14 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 08:26:19 AM)
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I'm not quite sure whether to believe this or not, I mean, this is just a thread guys, do we dare worship this false idol and over-look the almighty 'TOS'?????
"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways." - Anonymous

Pascal
The Alpha Nerd

I love you, but why must you love the law?

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Reply 15 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 09:46:14 AM)
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HEIN!!!OUS!!!!!
Baggy_Brad
FIGJAM

Cool.

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Reply 16 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 09:50:44 AM)
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This was a good note about closed threads & counterproductive behavior
dot
Kitabatake
Fishing with Firecrackers

2efficient4spacebar

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Reply 17 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 10:02:07 AM)
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omg u stole thiz list from HG, huh?
I'm the first, the last, the best and the most.. the women love me from coast to coast.

mirthalac
INTL Alumni
stan "the single pringle" templeton

Prettiest Red Beard this side of the Canadian Border

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Reply 18 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 10:42:05 AM)
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fucking dirty jew nigger towelhead administrator wielding the staff of power like Ron Jeremy's giant cock.
Bobby Crosby's
Home of mid-paced viking metal
OLD SKOOL 4 LIFE KREW
kham
you're a cigarette!

Bedwetter

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Reply 19 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 11:12:03 AM)
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Quote:
INTL MODERATORS WILL TAKE NO MERCY ON YOU


oh shi
Baggy_Brad
FIGJAM

Cool.

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Reply 20 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 11:21:42 AM)
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Banned.
dot
Tazzo
teh TEH evar EVAR funnay FUNNAY :rolleyes:

When a couple of kids who were up to good started making trouble in my neighborhood

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Reply 21 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 11:33:38 AM)
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***** *** ** ********* *** ***** ****** *********** ****!!!
couldbeme
INTL Premium Member
Ignored
LBH was here.

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Reply 22 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 11:39:50 AM)
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Yeah, very funny.

Perhaps you ought to add that the changes have come about because long time forumers have requested them. That would be a little nearer to the truth but still not there.
Baggy_Brad
FIGJAM

Cool.

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Reply 23 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 12:23:21 PM)
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Tazzo's been here the longest, he can think up some stuff.
dot
NNY
Alcoholics Anonymous
Forum Drunkard

Staying in alone, with my cat.

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Reply 24 of 55 (Originally posted on: 09-18-03 03:44:02 PM)
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sorry jeff, but i think the original was much funnier, only because zen actually meant it.
I hate yankees and this is one reason why. Just because you can't pay for 3 hot dogs doesn't mean that the economy is bad and ya'll think that bush is an idiot because he's from Texas. Well f you because he saved your ass from people like Sadam Houssein and don't go thinking i'm just a minupulated trailor trash illiterate for taking up for him because I'm smarter than 90% of the world.

Drink the night away
Joel and Katii get it on
Drinking all night long
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